CONDEMNED!
To Burton, who was in those days an epicure in sensations, there was
something almost ecstatic in the pleasure of that evening. They dined
at a little round table in the most desirable corner of the room--the
professor and Edith, Mr. Bomford and himself. The music of one of the
most famous orchestras in Europe alternately swelled and died away,
always with the background of that steady hum of cheerful conversation.
It was his first experience of a restaurant de luxe. He looked about
him in amazed wonder. He had expected to find himself in a palace of
gilt, to find the prevailing note of the place an unrestrained and
inartistic gorgeousness. He found instead that the decorations
everywhere were of spotless white, the whole effect one of cultivated
and restful harmony. The glass and linen on the table were perfect.
There was nowhere the slightest evidence of any ostentation. Within a
few feet of him, separated only by that little space of tablecloth and a
great bowl of pink roses, sat Edith, dressed as he had never seen her
before, a most becoming flush upon her cheeks, a new and softer
brilliancy in her eyes, which seemed always to be seeking his. They
drank champagne, to the taste and effects of which he was as yet
unaccustomed. Burton felt its inspiring effect even though he himself
drank little.
The conversation was always interesting. The professor talked of
Assyria, and there was no man who had had stranger experiences. He
talked with the eloquence and fervor of a man who speaks of things which
have become a passion with him; so vividly, indeed, that more than once
he seemed to carry his listeners with him, back through the ages, back
into actual touch with the life of thousands of years ago, which he
described with such full and picturesque detail. Not at any time during
the dinner was the slightest allusion made to that last heated interview
which had taken place between the three men. Even when they sat out in
the palm court afterwards, and smoked and listened to the band and
watched the people, Mr. Bomford only distantly alluded to it.
"I want to ask you, Mr. Burton," he said, "what you think of your
surroundings--of the restaurant and your neighbors on every side?"
"The restaurant is very beautiful," Burton admitted. "The whole place
seems delightful. One can only judge of the people by their appearance.
That, at any rate, is in their favor."
Mr. Bomford nodded approvingly.
"I will admit, Mr. Burton," he continued, leaning a little towards him,
"that one of my objects in asking you to dine this evening, apart from
the pleasure of your company, was to prove to you the truth of one of my
remarks the other evening--that the expenditure of money need not
necessarily be associated with vulgarity. This is a restaurant which
only the rich could afford to patronize save occasionally, yet you see
for yourself that the prominent note here is a subdued and artistic
tastefulness. The days of loud colors and of the flamboyant life are
past. Money to-day is the handmaiden to culture."
Exceedingly pleased with his speech, Mr. Bomford leaned back in his
chair and lighted a half-crown cigar. Presently, without any visible
co-operation on their part, a little scheme was carried into effect by
the professor and Mr. Bomford. The latter rose and crossed to the
other side of the room to speak to some friends. A few moments later he
beckoned to the professor. Edith and Burton were alone. She drew a
deep sigh of relief and turned towards him as though expecting him to
say something. Burton, however, was silent. He had never seen her
quite like this. She wore a plain white satin dress and a string of
pearls about her neck, which he saw for the first time entirely exposed.
The excitement of the evening had brought a delicate flush to her face;
the blue in her eyes was more wonderful here, even, than out in the
sunlight. Amid many toilettes of more complicated design, the exquisite
and entire simplicity of her gown and hair and ornaments was delightful.
"You are quiet this evening," she whispered. "I wish I could know what
you are thinking of all the time."
"There is nothing in my thoughts or in my heart," he answered, "which I
would not tell you if I could. Evenings like this, other evenings which
you and I have spent together in still more beautiful places, have been
like little perfect epochs in an imperfect life. Yet all the time one
is haunted. I am haunted here to-night, even, as I sit by your side. I
move through life a condemned man. I know it for I have proved it.
Before very long the man whom you know, who sits by your side at this
moment, who is your slave, dear, must pass."
"You can never altogether change," she murmured.
His hands clasped the small silver box in his pocket.
"In a few months," he said hoarsely, "unless we can find the missing
plant, I shall be again the common little clerk who came and peered over
your hedge at you in the summer."
She smiled a little incredulously.
"Even when you tell me so," she insisted, "I cannot believe it."
He drew his chair closer to hers. He looked around him nervously, the
horror was in his eyes.
"Since I saw you last," he continued, "I have been very nearly like it.
I couldn't travel alone, I bought silly comic papers, I played nap with
young men who talked of nothing but their 'shop' and their young ladies.
I have been to a public-house, drunk beer, and shaken hands with the
barmaid. I was even disappointed when one of them--a creature with
false hair, a loud, rasping voice and painted lips--was not there. Just
in time I took one of my beans and became myself again, but Edith, I
have only two more. When they are gone there is an end of me. That is
why I sit here by your side at this moment and feel myself a condemned
man. I think that when I feel the change coming I shall throw myself
over into the river. I could not bear the other life again!"
"Absurd!" she declared.
"If I believed," he went on, "that I could carry with me across that
curious boundary enough of decency, enough of my present feelings, to
keep us wholly apart, I would be happier. It is one of the terrors of
my worst moments when I think that in the months or years to come I may
again be tempted--no, not I, but Alfred Burton of Garden Green may be
tempted--to look once more across the hedge for you."
She smiled reassuringly at him.
"You do not terrify me in the least. I shall ask you in to tea."
He groaned.
"My speech will be Cockney and my manners a little forward," he said, in
a tone of misery. "If I see your piano I shall want to vamp."
"I think," she murmured, "that for the sake of the Alfred Burton who is
sitting by my side to-night, I shall still be kind to you. Perhaps you
will not need my sympathy, though. Perhaps you will adapt yourself
wholly to your new life when the time comes."
He shook his head.
"There are cells in one's memory," he muttered. "I don't understand--I
don't know how they get there--but don't you remember that time last
summer when I was picnicking with my common friends? We were drinking
beer out of a stone jug, we were singing vulgar songs, we were revelling
in the silly puerilities of a bank holiday out of doors. And I saw your
face and something came to me. I saw for a moment over the wall. Dear,
I am very sure that if I go back there will be times when I shall see
over the wall, and my heart will ache and the whole taste of life will
be like dust between my teeth."
She leaned towards him.
"It is your fault if I say this," she whispered. "It is you yourself
who have prepared the way. Why not make sure of riches? The world can
give so much to the rich. You can buy education, manners, taste.
Anything, surely, would be better than taking up the life of an
auctioneer's clerk once more? With riches you can at least get away
from the most oppressive forms of vulgarity."
"I wish I could believe it," he replied. "The poor man is, as a rule,
natural. The rich man has the taste of other things on his palate; he
has looked over the wrong wall, he apes what he sees in the wrong
garden."
"Not always," she pleaded. "Don't you believe that something will
remain of these splendid months of yours--some will power, some faint
impulse towards the choicer ways of life? Oh, it really must be so!"
she went on, more confidently. "I am sure of it. I think of you as you
are now, how carefully you control even your emotions, how sensitive you
always are in your speech, and I know that you could never revert
entirely to those other days. You may slip back, and slip back a long
way, but there would always be something to keep you from the depths."
Her eyes were glowing. Her fingers deliberately touched his for a
moment.
"It is wonderful to hope that it may be so," he sighed. "Even as I sit
here and remember that awful picnic party, I remember, too, that
something drew me a little away from the others to gaze into your garden
and at you. There was something, even then, which kept me from being
with them while I looked, and I know that at that moment, at the moment
I looked up and met your eyes, I know that there was no vulgar thought
in my heart."
"Dear," she said, "with every word you make me the more inclined to
persist. I honestly believe that father and Mr. Bomford are right. It
is your duty. You owe it to yourself to accept their offer."
He sat for several minutes without speech.
"If I could only make you understand!" he went on at last. "Somehow, I
feel as though it would be making almost a vulgar use of something which
is to me divine. These strange little things which Mr. Bomford would
have me barter for money, brought me out of the unclean world and showed
me how beautiful life might be--showed me, indeed, what beauty really
is. There is no religion has ever brought such joy to the heart of a
man, nor any love, nor any of the great passions of the world have
opened such gates as they have done for me. You can't imagine what the
hideous life is like--the life of vulgar days, of ugly surroundings, the
dull and ceaseless trudge side by side with the multitude across the
sterile plain, without the power to raise one's eyes, without the power
to stretch out one's arms and feel the throb of freedom in one's pulses.
If I die to-morrow, I shall at least have lived for a little time,
thanks to these. Can you wonder that I think of them with reverence?
Yet you ask me to make use of one of them to help launch upon the world
a patent food, something built upon the credulity of fools, something
whose praises must be sung in blatant advertisements, desecrating the
pages of magazines, gaping from the hoardings, thrust inside the chinks
of human simplicity by the art of the advertising agent. Edith, it is a
hard thing, this. Do try and realize how hard it is. If there be
anything in the world divine, if there be anything sacred at all,
anything to lift one from the common way, it is what you ask me to
sacrifice."
"You are such a sentimentalist, dear," she whispered. "You need have no
share in the commercial part of this. The money can simply keep you
while you write, or help you to travel."
"It will lead that other fellow," he groaned, "into no end of mischief."
The professor and Mr. Bomford returned. They talked for a little time
together and then the party broke up. As they waited for Edith to get
her cloak, Burton spoke the few words which they were both longing to
hear.
"Mr. Bomford," he announced, "and professor, I should like to see you
to-morrow. I am going to think over this matter to-night once more. It
is very possible that I may see my way clear to do as you ask."
"Mr. Burton, sir," the professor said, grasping his hand, "I
congratulate you. I felt sure that your common sense would assert
itself. Let me assure you of one thing, too. Indirectly you will be
the cause of marvelous discoveries, enlightening discoveries, being made
as to the source of some of that older civilization which still
bewilders the student of prehistoric days."
Mr. Bomford had less to say but he was quite as emphatic.
"If you only think hard enough, Mr. Burton," he declared, "you can't
make a mistake."
He saw them into the motor, Edith in a cloak of lace which made her seem
like some dainty, fairylike creature as she stepped from the pavement
into a corner of the landaulette. Afterwards, he walked with uplifted
heart through the streets and back to his rooms. He let himself in with
a mechanical turn of the key. On the threshold he stood still in sudden
amazement. The lights were all turned on, the room was in rank
disorder. Simmering upon the hearth were the remains of his novel;
upset upon the table several pots of paint. Three chairs were lashed
together with a piece of rope. On a fourth sat Alfred, cracking a
home-made whip. His hands were covered with coal-dust, traces of which
were smeared upon his cheeks. There were spots of ink all down his
clothes, his eyes seemed somehow to have crept closer together. There
were distinct signs of a tendency on the part of his hair to curl over a
certain spot on his forehead. He looked at his father like a whipped
hound but he said never a word.
"What on earth have you been doing, Alfred?" Burton faltered.
The boy dropped his whip and put his finger in his mouth. He was
obviously on the point of howling.
"You left me here all alone," he said, in an aggrieved tone. "There was
no one to play with, nothing to do. I want to go back to mother; I want
Ned and Dick to play with. Don't want to stop here any longer."
He began to howl. Burton looked around once more at the scene of his
desolation. He moved to the fireplace and gazed down at the charred
remnants of his novel. The boy continued to howl.