AN EVENING AT THE PHONOGRAPH
A CONCERT AT HOME
TO possess a gramophone or phonograph is to be already furnished with
the means of giving a very successful and pleasurable entertainment.
There are so many “entertainments” that do not entertain, and so many
“amusements” that do not amuse, that it is a distinct relief to know
where to turn when a mixed party of guests have honored you with their
presence.
With the number of gramophones, phonographs, talking-machines and
zonophones now on the market, it is not the object of this chapter to
specialize any particular make or type of article. As in most things,
quality means expense, and there is little use in hoping for fine
results from a cheap machine. Any respectable dealer will give useful
advice as to the type of gramophone worth buying, and it must be left
with you to make your own choice.
Presuming you have obtained your machine and accustomed yourself to the
manipulation of its various parts, the next point to be considered is
how a successful programme may be carried out for an entertainment.
In nothing, perhaps, is that old adage that “tastes differ” so true as
in music. One person may shiver with disgust at everything but Bach,
whilst her neighbor probably can appreciate nothing but old ballads; or
whereas paterfamilias beats time ecstatically to the familiar old pieces
of Verdi and Rossini which he remembers from his boyhood, his cultivated
son is impatient for something out of “Elektra.”
Now it is the business of the entertainer to satisfy and please all
these people--to send none away empty, but to make each person feel what
a pleasant evening he or she has had. Whilst fully recognizing the
difficulty of producing this result, it is hoped that the following
hints may serve to render the construction of a catholic programme a
little easier than would at first appear.
Records are of two kinds--instrumental and vocal. By blending these
successfully a very charming variety can be obtained which will
materially assist in keeping the programme from lapsing into sameness.
Commence with a stirring overture or a rousing march that will set the
feet of your audience itching to mark time. Avoid anything dreamy or
languorous; let their attention be attracted by a bold stroke, by the
rattle of drums and the blaring of cornets and trombones. Sousa’s
marches, the “Stars and Stripes” for instance, are admirable pieces to
start the evening with, arousing the attention and stirring the blood of
every healthy person in the room.
Having now excited the interest of your audience, give them some vocal
music. Choose a good quartette of well-known singers in a selection or
song from some up-to-date opera, or even from one of the old Italian
favorites. “The Barber of Seville,” “La Bohême,” or “La Tosca,” all
provide very fine quartettes.
The next piece might be a good instrumental solo, on violin, ’cello,
piccolo or clarionet. Let it be short and characteristic; preferably a
piece fairly well known to the majority of your audience.
At this point it may be remarked that people invariably like hearing
what they already know. The gramophone is more generally appreciated
when it reproduces a song or piece of music that the audience has heard
before; whilst the machine is scarcely suitable for the introduction of
wholly new music. Of course it is impossible to form an entire programme
on these lines, but when making the selection of records, if you bear
this fact in mind it will save you from obtaining a number of outlandish
pieces, if one may so style them, which the majority of your company has
never heard before and will be little likely to wish to hear again.
After the instrumental solo, it will be suitable to have a vocal
solo--say a soprano. Again, select a good artist and a good song, for it
is at this point that your fiercest critics will be upon the lookout. Do
your best to disappoint them of their prey by having none but the best
singers; and only then at their very best!
HUMOROUS SONGS
With a mixed company humorous songs are usually appreciated, and one may
be very well introduced at this point. The greatest care must be
exercised in avoiding anything that the most squeamish person might
think objectionable. The number of perfectly harmless and refined comic
songs is great, but unfortunately the number of vulgar songs is greater.
Accept nothing, therefore, that you have not heard yourself and know to
be perfectly suitable.
A good piano solo may now be very serviceable, or even a piano and
violin duet. A piece of Chopin or Schumann, a short piece of Godard, or
the like, is sure to be appreciated. The most carping of critics will
be unable to find fault with the execution of Paderewski, Hoffman, or
other great pianists, all of whose records are easily obtainable.
A popular item from one of the current operas or musical comedies will
then be acceptable. If the works of Sullivan are too antiquated, records
of the more recent pieces recently running at the theaters can easily be
had. “Our Miss Gibbs,” “The Dollar Princess,” or the “Arcadians”--all
will help to furnish you with some variety in the programme. Choose a
favorite that will bring up pleasant recollections to all who have seen
the original play.
A tenor and bass duet may follow the above admirably, something rather
pathetic--a love song or the like. The task of making a choice amongst
so many songs of this class would be invidious, and it is left to the
taste and opportunities of the entertainer to select what seems best for
the occasion.
It is now time for another piece of orchestral music, and a good waltz
is suggested--“The Merry Widow,” or something of that kind, played by a
good band, and of a rather catchy nature.
If you divide the entertainment into two parts, the familiar intermezzo
of the “Cavalleria Rusticana” makes a very suitable overture for the
second part. Obtain it on a good orchestra, and not as a piano or violin
solo. Failing this any of Puccini’s overtures are good for such an
occasion.
The second part of the programme should be constructed on very much the
same principles as the first. A few classical pieces can be
introduced--Wagner and Grieg, Schubert and Elgar, and similar contrasts.
Tenor, bass, soprano and contralto solos should be fitted in between the
heavier items, whilst instrumental solos are generally highly
appreciated amongst really musical audiences. Do not let the selections
be too long, however.
Before closing the entertainment with “The Star Spangled Banner,” have a
good orchestral waltz to put every one in good humor.
GENERAL ARRANGEMENTS
And now for a few hints as to the actual performance. Do not be too
ready to give encores. Many people really dislike to hear a thing twice,
and unless you see there is a very general desire amongst your audience
for a repetition, pass on to the next item immediately.
Have the seats comfortably arranged, and see that every one is seated
before beginning your programme. Copies of the programme should be
handed to each person present, and the name and number announced before
starting the machine. Be careful that no hitch occurs in the
arrangements.
Remember that the greatest of artists can be called to your
assistance--Caruso, Melba, Patti, Albani, Tamagno (who though dead yet
sings), Constantino, Tetrazzini, and numberless other great singers and
musicians are at your beck and call, ready to sing to your friends or to
exert their greatest talents on your behalf. Avail yourselves of them
unsparingly, and you cannot miss success.
A Sunday programme is no more difficult to arrange. Magnificent records
of the “Messiah,” “Elijah,” and many other great oratorios can be
obtained, whilst numberless hymns and anthems are possible to the
gramophone, sung by some of the finest choirs.
With these hints there should be no great difficulty in making a
programme that will prove enjoyable to a mixed audience. They are,
however, but hints; to give exact instructions would be impossible. The
selection, even upon the lines sketched out in this chapter, must be
individual and adapted to the more immediate requirements of your
company, and in consequence no fixed rule for choice can be given.