Letters to his Wife.
In the long absences from home, which the religious visits of Elias
Hicks involved, as a matter of course many of the domestic burdens fell
heavily upon his wife. In so far as he could atone for his absence
by sending epistles home he did so. In fact, for the times, he was a
voluminous letter writer.
It was not a time of rapid transit. Distances now spanned in a few
hours demanded days and weeks when Elias Hicks was active in the
ministry. At the best, but a few letters could reach home from the
traveler absent for several months.
In the main the letters which Elias sent to his beloved Jemima were
of the ardent lover-like sort. It seemed impossible, however, for
him to avoid the preacherly function in even his most tender and
domestic missives. Exhortations to practical righteousness, and to
the maintenance of what he considered the Friendly fundamentals, were
plentifully mixed with his most private and personal concerns.
In going over this correspondence one wishes for more description,
relating to the human side of the traveler's experiences. A man who
several times traversed what was really the width of habitable America,
and mostly either in a wagon or on horseback, must have seen much that
was interesting, and many times humorous and even pathetic. But few of
these things moved Elias Hicks, or diverted him from what he considered
the purely gospel character of his mission.
Still there is much worth while in this domestic correspondence. From
it we compile and annotate such extracts as seem to help reveal the
character of the man who wrote them.
On the 13th of Eighth month, 1788, Elias was at Creek, now Clinton
Corners, in Dutchess county, New York. From a letter written to his
wife that day, we quote:
"My heart glows at this time with much love and affection for thee
and our dear children, with breathing desires for your preservation,
and that thou, my dear, may be kept in a state of due watchfulness
over thyself, and those dear lambs under thy care, that nothing may
interrupt the current of pure love among you in my absence."
A letter dated "Lynn, Massachusetts, ye 24th of Eighth month, 1793,"
and written to his wife, is of peculiar interest. We quote the first
sentences:
"I received last evening, at my return to this place from the East,
thy very acceptable letter of the 16th instant.... The contents,
except the account of the pain in thy side, were truly comfortable.
That part wherein thou expresseth a resignation to the Divine Will,
was particularly satisfactory, for in this, my dear, consists our
chiefest happiness and consolation."
He sometimes expressed a sense of loneliness in his travels, but was
certain of the nearness of the Divine Spirit. In the letter mentioned
above he said:
"Thou hast cause to believe with me, my dear, that it was He that
first united our hearts together in the bonds of an endeared love
and affection. So it is He that has kept and preserved us all our
life long, and hath caused us to witness an increase of that unfading
love, which as thou expresseth is ever new."
Evidently his beloved Jemima, like Martha of old, was unduly troubled
about many things, for we find Elias in his letter indulging in the
following warning: "And let me again hint to thee a care over thyself,
for I fear thou wilt expose thyself by too much bodily exercise in the
care of thy business."
It is seldom that we find even a tinge of complaining in any of his
letters. It seems, however, that his women folks were not industrious
correspondents. In closing the letter noted he thus expressed himself:
"My companion receives his packet of letters, frequently four, five
or six at a time, which makes me feel as if I was forgotten by my
friends, having received but two small letters from home since I left
you. And thou writest, my dear, as if paper was scarce, on very small
pieces."
On the 3d of Ninth month, of the same year, a letter was written to his
wife, much like the foregoing. It is interesting to note that Elias was
at this time the guest of Moses Brown (in Providence), the founder of
the Moses Brown School. The small pieces of paper mentioned are hints
of a wifely economy, not altogether approved by her very economical
husband. There is a gentle tinge of rebuke in the following, written
from Nine Partners, Eleventh month 19, 1818. The temptation is strong
to read into these lines, a grain of humor touching the much-talked-of
persistence of a woman's will:
"Inasmuch as I have often felt concerned when thus absent, least thou
should worry thyself, with too much care and labor in regard to our
temporal concerns, and have often desired thee to be careful in that
respect, but mostly without effect, by reason that thou art so choice
of thy own free agency as to be afraid to take the advice of thy
best friend, lest it might mar that great privilege; I therefore now
propose to leave thee at full liberty to use it in thine own pleasure
with the addition of this desire, that thou use it in that way as
will produce to thee the most true comfort and joy, and then I trust
I shall be comforted, my dear, in thy comfort, and joyful in thy joy."
A letter dated West Jersey, near Salem, the 6th of First month, 1798,
mentions a singular concern about apparel. He exhorts his wife to guard
the tender minds of their children from "foolish and worldly vanities,"
and then drops into a personal and general statement regarding what he
considered simplicity and plainness as follows:
"Great is the apparent departure from primitive purity and plainness
among many professors of the truth, where our lots have been cast.
Foreseeing that I may often be led in a line of close doctrine to
such it has brought me under close self-examination, knowing for
certain that those who have to deal out to others ought to look well
to their own going. In this time of scrutiny nothing turned up as
bringing reproof to my mind concerning our children, but the manner
of wearing their gown sleeves long and pinned at the wrist. This I
found to strike at the pure life, and wounded my mind. I clearly saw
my deficiency that I had not more endeavored to have it done away
with before I left home, for I felt it as a burden then. But seeing
our dear daughters had manifested so much condescension in other
things, and this being like one of the least, I endeavored to be easy
under it. But feeling it with assurance not to be a plant of our
Heavenly Father's right-hand planting, think it ought to be plucked
up. Let our dear daughters read these lines, and tell them their dear
father prays they may wisely consider the matter, and if they can be
willing so far to condescend to my desire while absent as to have
these things removed, it will be as balsam to my wounded spirit, and
they will not go without their reward. But their father's God will
bless them and become their God, as they are faithful to his reproofs
in their hearts, and walk fearfully before Him. He will redeem them,
out of all adversity to the praise and glory of His grace, who is
over all, God, blessed forever."
During a visit to Nine Partners, Twelfth month 15, 1803, Elias wrote
to Jemima. Evidently she had repelled the inference, if not the
implication, that she had been negligent in her correspondence, for we
find the letter in question beginning in this fashion:
"Although I wrote thee pretty fully last evening, yet having since
that received a precious, refreshing letter from thee, by Isaac
Frost (it being the first I have received from thee since I left
home), but finding from thy last that thou hast written several. It
affords a singular satisfaction in finding thou hast been mindful of
me. But I have not complained, my dear, nor let in, nor indulged a
thought that thou hadst forgotten me, nor do I believe thou couldst.
There is nothing while we continue in our right minds that can
dissolve that firm and precious bond of love and endeared affection,
which from our first acquaintance united us together, and in which,
while writing these lines my spirit greets thee with endeared
embraces."
It surely seems strange that a man who was the father of eleven
children, that his only source of personal "reproof" concerning them,
was this little matter of the sleeves and the pins. This probably is a
fair illustration of what may be called the conservatism of Elias Hicks
touching all of the peculiarities of the Society of Friends.
The postscript to a letter written to Jemima from Shrewsbury, New
Jersey, Twelfth month 17, 1797, reads as follows: "As thou writes but
poorly, if thou should get Hallet or Royal to write superscriptions on
the letters, it would make them more plain for conveyance."
It was only seldom that business affairs at home were referred to in
his epistles to his wife. But occasionally a departure was made from
this practice. Where these lapses do occur, it would seem that they
should be noted. In the fall of 1822 Elias was in the vicinity of
Philadelphia, and was stopping with his friend and kinsman, Edward
Hicks, at Newtown, in Bucks county.
In this letter he says: "My health is much the same as when I left
home. I was disappointed in not meeting any letters here, as I feel
very anxious how you all do." We copy the balance of the letter, with
its tender admonition to Jemima:
"I will just remind thee that before I left home I put two old ewes
in the green rye on the plains. If they should improve as to be fit
to kill, I should be willing thou would let Josiah have one of them,
as he agreed to split up some of the timber that was blown down in
the woods by him, into rails and board himself. The other thou might
sell or otherwise at thy pleasure.
"Now, my dear, let me remind thee of thy increasing bodily
infirmities, and the necessity it lays thee under to spare thyself of
the burthen and care of much bodily and mental labour and exercise,
by which thou will experience more quiet rest, both to body and
mind, and that it may be, my dear, our united care to endeavor that
our last days may be our best days, that so we may witness a state
and qualification to pass gently and quietly out of time, into the
mansions of eternal blessedness, where all sighing and sorrow, will
be at an end."
While in Pennsylvania, and at what is now York, Fourth month 3, 1798,
he sent a tender missive home. Part of it referred to business matters.
He gave directions for preparing the ground, and planting potatoes, and
also for oats and flax, the latter being a crop practically unknown
to present-day Long Island. He then gives the following direction
regarding a financial obligation:
"And as James Carhartt has a bond of sixty pounds against me, of
money belonging to a Dutchman, should be glad if thou hast not money
enough by thee to pay the interest thereof, thou would call upon
Royal or brother Joseph and get some, and pay it the first of Fifth
month."
While at Rahway, New Jersey, Eleventh month 6, 1801, on his visit
to Friends in New Jersey and Pennsylvania, he wrote one of his most
expressive letters to Jemima. A postscript was attached directed to
his daughters. To his oldest daughter, Martha, he sent an exhortation
in which he said: "My desires for thee, my dear, are that thou may be
preserved innocent and chaste to the Lord, for I can have no greater
joy than to find my children walking in the truth."
That a large part of his concern was for the comfort of his wife
in the long absences from home is abundantly shown in his entire
correspondence. The last postscript to the Rahway letter is as follows:
"And, dear Phebe and Abigail, remember your Creator, who made you not
to spend your time in play and vanity, but to be sober and to live
in his fear, that he may bless you. Be obedient to your dear mother,
it is my charge to you. Love and help her whatever you can; it will
comfort your dear father."
The 2d of Eleventh month, 1820, Elias arrived at Hudson, and learning
that the steamboat to New York was to pass that day, he prepared and
sent a letter to his wife. In this letter he says:
"It may be that some of my friends may think me so far worth
noticing, as to meet me with a line or two at Nine Partners, as I
have often felt very desirous of hearing how you fare at home, but
this desire hath mostly failed of being gratified. I suppose the many
things so absorb the minds of my friends at home, that they have no
time to think of so poor a thing as I am. But never mind it, as all
things, it is said, will work together for good to those that love
and fear [God]."
While at Saratoga, in 1793, Elias wrote to Jemima, Tenth month 15th.
This is one of his most ardent epistles. "Oh, my dear," he says, "may
we ever keep in remembrance the day of our espousal and gladness of our
hearts, as I believe it was a measure of the Divine Image that united
our hearts together in the beginning. It is the same that I believe
has, and still doth strengthen the sweet, influential and reciprocal
bond, that nothing, I trust, as we dwell under a sense of Divine love
and in the pure fear, will ever be able to obliterate or deface."
Third month 15, 1798, a letter was written from Alexandria, Va., from
which we make this extract:
"We came here this morning from Sandy Spring, which is upwards of
twenty miles distant. Got in timely so as to attend their meeting
which began at the tenth hour. Crossed the river Potomac on our way.
We got on horseback about break of day, and not being very well I
thought I felt the most fatigued before I got in, I was ever sensible
of before. When I came to the meeting, a poor little one it was, and
wherein I had to suffer silence through the meeting for worship, but
in their Preparative which followed, I found my way open in a measure
to ease my mind."