As very many well-disposed persons, by the unavoidable necessity of their
affairs, are so unfortunate as to be totally buried in the country, where
they labour under the most deplorable ignorance of what is transacting
among the polite part of mankind, I cannot help thinking, that, as a
publick writer, you should take the case of these truly compassionable
objects under your consideration.
These unhappy languishers in obscurity should be furnished with such
accounts of the employments of people of the world, as may engage them
in their several remote corners to a laudable imitation; or, at least, so
far inform and prepare them, that if by any joyful change of situation
they should be suddenly transported into the gay scene, they may not gape,
and wonder, and stare, and be utterly at a loss how to behave and make a
proper appearance in it.
It is inconceivable how much the welfare of all the country towns in the
kingdom might be promoted, if you would use your charitable endeavours to
raise in them a noble emulation of the manners and customs of higher life.
For this purpose you should give a very clear and ample description of the
whole set of polite acquirements; a complete history of forms, fashions,
frolicks; of routs, drums, hurricanes, balls, assemblies, ridottos,
masquerades, auctions, plays, operas, puppet-shows, and bear-gardens;
of all those delights which profitably engage the attention of the
most sublime characters, and by which they have brought to such amazing
perfection the whole art and mystery of passing day after day, week after
week, and year after year, without the heavy assistance of any one thing
that formal creatures are pleased to call useful and necessary.
In giving due instructions through what steps to attain this summit of
human excellence, you may add such irresistible arguments in its favour,
as must convince numbers, who in other instances do not seem to want
natural understanding, of the unaccountable errour of supposing they
were sent into the world for any other purpose but to flutter, sport, and
shine. For, after all, nothing can be clearer than that an everlasting
round of diversion, and the more lively and hurrying the better, is the
most important end of human life.
It is really prodigious, so much as the world is improved, that there
should in these days be persons so ignorant and stupid as to think it
necessary to mispend their time, and trouble their heads about any thing
else than pursuing the present fancy; for what else is worth living for?
It is time enough surely to think of consequences when they come; and
as for the antiquated notions of duty, they are not to be met with in any
French novel, or any book one ever looks into, but derived almost wholly
from the writings of authors[57], who lived a vast many ages ago, and who,
as they were totally without any idea of those accomplishments which now
characterize people of distinction, have been for some time sinking apace
into utter contempt. It does not appear that even their most zealous
admirers, for some partisans of his own sort every writer will have, can
pretend to say they were ever at one ridotto.
In the important article of diversions, the ceremonial of visits, the
ecstatick delight of unfriendly intimacies and unmeaning civilities, they
are absolutely silent. Blunt truth, and downright honesty, plain clothes,
staying at home, hard work, few words, and those unenlivened with
censure or double meaning, are what they recommend as the ornaments and
pleasures of life. Little oaths, polite dissimulation, tea-table scandal,
delightful indolence, the glitter of finery, the triumph of precedence,
the enchantments of flattery, they seem to have had no notion of; and
I cannot but laugh to think what a figure they would have made in a
drawing-room, and how frighted they would have looked at a gaming-table.
The noble zeal of patriotism that disdains authority, and tramples on laws
for sport, was absolutely the aversion of these tame wretches.
Indeed one cannot discover any one thing they pretend to teach people, but
to be wise, and good; acquirements infinitely below the consideration of
persons of taste and spirit, who know how to spend their time to so much
better purpose.
Among other admirable improvements, pray, Mr. Rambler, do not forget to
enlarge on the very extensive benefit of playing at cards on Sundays,
a practice of such infinite use, that we may modestly expect to see it
prevail universally in all parts of this kingdom.
To persons of fashion, the advantage is obvious; because, as for some
strange reason or other, which no fine gentleman or fine lady has yet
been able to penetrate, there is neither play, nor masquerade, nor
bottled conjurer, nor any other thing worth living for, to be had on a
Sunday; if it were not for the charitable assistance of whist or bragg,
the genteel part of mankind must, one day in seven, necessarily suffer
a total extinction of being.
Nor are the persons of high rank the only gainers by so salutary a custom,
which extends its good influence, in some degree, to the lower orders of
people; but were it quite general, how much better and happier would the
world be than it is even now?
'Tis hard upon poor creatures, be they ever so mean, to deny them those
enjoyments and liberties which are equally open for all. Yet if servants
were taught to go to church on this day, spend some part of it in reading
or receiving instruction in a family way, and the rest in mere friendly
conversation, the poor wretches would infallibly take it into their
heads, that they were obliged to be sober, modest, diligent, and faithful
to their masters and mistresses.
Now surely no one of common prudence or humanity would wish their
domesticks infected with such strange and primitive notions, or laid
under such unmerciful restraints: all which may, in a great measure, be
prevented by the prevalence of the good-humoured fashion, that I would
have you recommend. For when the lower kind of people see their betters,
with a truly laudable spirit, insulting and flying in the face of those
rude, ill-bred dictators, piety and the laws, they are thereby excited
and admonished, as far as actions can admonish and excite, and taught
that they too have an equal right of setting them at defiance in such
instances as their particular necessities and inclinations may require;
and thus is the liberty of the whole human species mightily improved
and enlarged.
In short, Mr. Rambler, by a faithful representation of the numberless
benefits of a modish life, you will have done your part in promoting
what every body seems to confess the true purpose of human existence,
perpetual dissipation.
By encouraging people to employ their whole attention on trifles, and make
amusement their sole study, you will teach them how to avoid many very
uneasy reflections.
All the soft feelings of humanity, the sympathies of friendship, all
natural temptations to the care of a family, and solicitude about the
good or ill of others, with the whole train of domestick and social
affections, which create such daily anxieties and embarrassments, will
be happily stifled and suppressed in a round of perpetual delights; and
all serious thoughts, but particularly that of _hereafter_, be banished
out of the world; a most perplexing apprehension, but luckily a most
groundless one too, as it is so very clear a case, that nobody ever dies.