There seems to be so little knowledge left in the world, and so little
of that reflection practised, by which knowledge is to be gained, that
I am in doubt, whether I shall be understood, when I complain of want
of opportunity for thinking; or whether a condemnation, which at present
seems irreversible, to perpetual ignorance, will raise any compassion,
either in you, or your readers: yet I will venture to lay my state before
you, because I believe it is natural, to most minds, to take some pleasure
in complaining of evils, of which they have no reason to be ashamed.
I am the daughter of a man of great fortune, whose diffidence of mankind,
and, perhaps, the pleasure of continual accumulation, incline him to
reside upon his own estate, and to educate his children in his own house,
where I was bred, if not with the most brilliant examples of virtue
before my eyes, at least remote enough from any incitements to vice; and
wanting neither leisure nor books, nor the acquaintance of some persons
of learning in the neighbourhood, I endeavoured to acquire such knowledge
as might most recommend me to esteem, and thought myself able to support
a conversation upon most of the subjects, which my sex and condition made
it proper for me to understand.
I had, besides my knowledge, as my mamma and my maid told me, a very fine
face, and elegant shape, and with all these advantages had been seventeen
months the reigning toast for twelve miles round, and never came to the
monthly assembly, but I heard the old ladies that sat by wishing that
_it might end well_, and their daughters criticising my air, my features,
or my dress.
You know, Mr. Rambler, that ambition is natural to youth, and curiosity
to understanding, and therefore will hear, without wonder, that I was
desirous to extend my victories over those who might give more honour to
the conqueror; and that I found in a country life a continual repetition
of the same pleasures, which was not sufficient to fill up the mind for
the present, or raise any expectations of the future; and I will confess
to you, that I was impatient for a sight of the town, and filled my
thoughts with the discoveries which I should make, the triumphs that I
should obtain, and the praises that I should receive.
At last the time came. My aunt, whose husband has a seat in parliament,
and a place at court, buried her only child, and sent for me to supply
the loss. The hope that I should so far insinuate myself into their
favour, as to obtain a considerable augmentation of my fortune, procured
me every convenience for my departure, with great expedition; and I
could not, amidst all my transports, forbear some indignation to see with
what readiness the natural guardians of my virtue sold me to a state,
which they thought more hazardous than it really was, as soon as a new
accession of fortune glittered in their eyes.
Three days I was upon the road, and on the fourth morning my heart danced
at the sight of London. I was set down at my aunt's, and entered upon
the scene of action. I expected now, from the age and experience of my
aunt, some prudential lessons; but, after the first civilities and first
tears were over, was told what pity it was to have kept so fine a girl so
long in the country; for the people who did not begin young, seldom dealt
their cards handsomely, or played them tolerably.
Young persons are commonly inclined to slight the remarks and counsels
of their elders. I smiled, perhaps, with too much contempt, and was upon
the point of telling her that my time had not been passed in such trivial
attainments. But I soon found that things are to be estimated, not by the
importance of their effects, but the frequency of their use.
A few days after, my aunt gave me notice, that some company, which she had
been six weeks in collecting, was to meet that evening, and she expected
a finer assembly than had been seen all the winter. She expressed this
in the jargon of a gamester, and, when I asked an explication of her
terms of art, wondered where I had lived. I had already found my aunt
so incapable of any rational conclusion, and so ignorant of every thing,
whether great or little, that I had lost all regard to her opinion,
and dressed myself with great expectations of an opportunity to display
my charms among rivals, whose competition would not dishonour me. The
company came in, and after the cursory compliments of salutation, alike
easy to the lowest and the highest understanding, what was the result?
The cards were broke open, the parties were formed, the whole night
passed in a game, upon which the young and old were equally employed; nor
was I able to attract an eye, or gain an ear; but being compelled to play
without skill, I perpetually embarrassed my partner, and soon perceived
the contempt of the whole table gathering upon me.
I cannot but suspect, Sir, that this odious fashion is produced by a
conspiracy of the old, the ugly, and the ignorant, against the young
and beautiful, the witty and the gay, as a contrivance to level all
distinctions of nature and art, to confound the world in a chaos of
folly, to take from those who could outshine them all the advantages
of mind and body, to withhold youth from its natural pleasures, deprive
wit of its influence, and beauty of its charms, to fix those hearts upon
money, to which love has hitherto been entitled, to sink life into a
tedious uniformity, and to allow it no other hopes or fears, but those
of robbing, and being robbed.
Be pleased, Sir, to inform those of my sex who have minds capable of
nobler sentiments, that, if they will unite in vindication of their
pleasures and their prerogatives, they may fix a time, at which cards
shall cease to be in fashion, or be left only to those who have neither
beauty to be loved, nor spirit to be feared; neither knowledge to teach,
nor modesty to learn; and who, having passed their youth in vice, are
justly condemned to spend their age in folly[39].