_A SIMPLE BIOGRAPHIC RECITATIVE BASED ON THE TONIC SOL-FA NOTE OF MI._
In ante-bellum days, ah me, when I a stuffman used to be, and proudly
pouched a junior's fee, the _Law List_ styled me "Smith, F.E." Oh,
how my place seemed small for me; not that I scorned the stuffman's
fee, but stuffy courts did not agree with me. I dearly longed to be
respiring often, fresh and free, the breath that was the life of me,
so I became a live M.P. And, lest the spacious H. of C. should fail to
hold sufficiently the lot of air respired by me, said I, "A soldier
I will be--not one of Foot (that's Infantry), nor yet the reg'lar
Cavalry, for barrack-life will not suit me, yet ride I must the high
gee-gee;" so I decided straight to be an officer of Yeomanry. Drilling
the troopers on the lea, the vent I craved for gave to me. Moreover,
on my high gee-gee I learned what galloping could be.
Those back-bench days! Ah me, ah me, rude Members christened me "F.E."
And even _Punch_, in kindly glee, once on a time, did picture me a
prowling beast, beside the sea, all spotted o'er with signs, "F.E."
That patronymic thus will be preserved for immortality. Newspapers,
too, I chance to see sometimes apply that name to me.
Although I found smart repartee, shot forth from back seats, gave me
glee, still I aspired to climb the tree, so with restrained temerity
I donned a gown of silk, i.e. became a fully-fledged K.C. Then, after
able A.J.B. was shunted by his great party and A.B.L. assumed the see,
the latter's finger beckoned me to face direct the enemy. Anon the
KING created me a member of his own P.C.
And then "the active life" for me, as Galloper to "Gen'ral" C.,
the loyal Ulsterman, to free from acts of Irish devilry. I thanked
"whatever gods may be" for training with the Yeomanry!
Then came the war with Germany. Alas, again I sighed, "Ah me," and
viewed the aspect gloomily, for I was then in apogee from all that
mighty company that domineered the H. of C. A. ruled the roast, not
A.J.B. But happy thought, that company of muddlers held one hope for
me--my constant pal of Yeomanry, the smashing, dashing WINSTON C.;
result--the Censorship for me. But not for long. The fresh and free
and open air was calling me, so off I went across the sea to join the
fighting soldiery. But soon there came a call for me, and back I came
across the sea to be His Majesty's S.-G.