The Influence of Faro Nell.
"Thar's no doubt about it," observed the Old Cattleman, apropos of the
fairer, better sex--for woman was the gentle subject of our morning's
talk; "thar's no doubt about it, females is a refinin' an' ennoblin'
inflooence; you-all can hazard your chips on that an' pile 'em higher
than Cook's Peak! An' when Faro Nell prefers them requests, she's
ondoubted moved of feelin's of mercy. They shore does her credit, said
motives does, an' if she had asked Cherokee or Jack Moore, or even
Texas Thompson, things would have come off as effective an' a mighty
sight more discreet. But since he's standin' thar handy, Nell ups an'
recroots Dan Boggs on the side of hoomanity, an' tharupon Dan goes
trackin' in without doo reflection, an' sets the Mexicans examples
which, to give 'em a best deescription, is shore some bad. It ain't
Nell's fault, but Dan is a gent of sech onusual impulses that you-all
don't know wherever Dan will land none, once you goes pokin' up his
ha'r-hung sensibil'ties with su'gestions that is novel to his game.
Still, Nell can't he'p it; an' in view of what we knows to be the
female record since ever the world begins, I re-asserts onhesitatin'
that the effects of woman is good. She subdooes the reckless,
subjoogates the rebellious, sobers the friv'lous, burns the ground from
onder the indolent moccasins of that male she's roped up in holy
wedlock's bonds, an' p'ints the way to a higher, happier life. That's
whatever! an' this dramy of existence, as I once hears Colonel Sterett
say, would be a frost an' a failure an' bog plumb down at that, if you
was to cut out the leadin' lady roles an' ring up the curtain with
nothin' but bucks in the cast.'
"Narrow an' contracted as you may deem said camp to be, Wolfville
itse'f offers plenty proof on this head. Thar's Dave Tutt: Whatever is
Dave, I'd like for to inquire, prior to Tucson Jennie runnin' her
wifely brand on to him an' redoocin' him to domesticity? No, thar's
nothin' so evil about Dave neither, an' yet he has his little ways.
For one thing, Dave's about as extemporaneous a prop'sition as ever
sets in a saddle, an' thar's times when you give Dave licker an'
convince him it's a o'casion for joobilation, an' you-all won't have to
leave no 'call' with the clerk to insure yourse'f of bein' out early in
the mornin.' Son, Dave would keep that camp settin' up all night.
"But once Dave comes onder the mitigatin' spells of Tucson Jennie,
things is changed. Tucson Jennie knocks Dave's horns off doorin' the
first two weeks; he gets staid an' circumspect an' tharby plays better
poker an' grows more urbane.
"Likewise does Benson Annie work mir'cles sim'lar in the conduct of
that maverick French which Enright an' the camp, to allay the burnin'
excitement that's rendin' the outfit on account of the Laundry War,
herds into her lovin' arms. Tenderfoot as he is, when we-all ups an'
marries him off that time, this French already shows symptoms of
becomin' one of the most abandoned sports in Arizona. Benson Annie
seizes him, purifies him, an' makes him white as snow.
"An' thar's Missis Rucker;--as troo a lady as ever bakes a biscuit!
Even with the burdens of the O.K. Restauraw upon her she still finds
energy to improve old Rucker to that extent he ups an' rides off
towards the hills one mornin' an' never does come back no more.
"'Doc,' he says to Doc Peets, while he's fillin' a canteen in the Red
Light prior to his start; 'I won't tell you what I'm aimin' to
accomplish, because the Stranglers might regyard it as their dooty to
round me up. But thar's something comin' to the public, Doc; so I
yereby leaves word that next week, or next month, or mebby later, if
doubts is expressed of my fate, I'm still flutterin' about the scenery
some'ers an' am a long ways short of dead. An' as I fades from sight,
Doc, I'll take a chance an' say that the clause in the Constitootion
which allows that all gents is free an' equal wasn't meant to incloode
no married man.' An' with these croode bluffs Rucker chases forth for
the Floridas.
"No, the camp don't do nothin'; the word gets passed 'round that old
Rucker's gone prospectin' an' that he will recur in our midst whenever
thar's a reg'lar roll-call. As for Missis Rucker, personal, from all
we can jedge by lookin' on--for thar's shore none of us who's that
locoed we ups an' asks--I don't reckon now she ever notices that
Rucker's escaped.
"Yere's how it is the time when Faro Nell, her heart bleedin' for the
sufferin's of dumb an' he'pless brutes, employs Dan Boggs in errants of
mercy an' Dan's efforts to do good gets ill-advised. Not that Dan is
easily brought so he regyards his play as erroneous; Enright has to
rebooke Dan outright in set terms an' assoome airs of severity before
ever Dan allows he entertains a doubt.
"'Suppose I does retire that Greaser's hand from cirk'lation?' says
Dan, sort o' dispootatious with Enright an' Doc Peets, who's both
engaged in p'intin' out Dan's faults. 'Mexicans ain't got no more need
for hands than squinch owls has for hymn books. They won't work; they
never uses them members except for dealin' monte or clawin' a guitar.
I regyards a Mexican's hands that a-way, when considered as feachers in
his makeup, as sooperfluous.'
"'Dan, you shore is the most perverse sport!' says Enright, makin' a
gesture of impatience an' at the same time refillin' his glass in hopes
of a ca'mer frame. 'This ain't so much a question of hands as it's a
question of taste. Nell's requests is right, an' you're bound to go
about the rescoo of said chicken as the victim of crooelties. Where
you-all falls down is on a system. The method you invokes is
impertinent. Don't you say so, Doc?'
"'Which I shore does,' says Peets. 'Dan's conduct is absolootely
oncouth.'
"Dan lays the basis for these strictures in the follow-in' fashion:
It's a _fieste_ with the Mexicans--one of the noomerous saint's days
they gives way to when every Greaser onbuckles an' devotes himse'f to
merriments--an' over in Chihuahua, as the Mexican part of the camp is
called, the sunburnt portion of Wolfville's pop'lation broadens into
quite a time. Thar's hoss races an' monte an' mescal an' pulque,
together with roode music sech as may be wrung from primitive
instruments like the guitar, the fiddle, an' tin cans half filled with
stones.
"Faro Nell, who is only a child as you-all might say, an' ready to be
engaged an' entertained with childish things, goes trippin' over to
size up the gala scene.
"Thar's a passel of young Mexicans who's Ridin' for the Chicken's Head.
This yere is a sport something like a Gander Pullin', same as we-all
engages in on Thanksgivin' days an' Christmas, back when I'm a boy in
Tennessee. You saveys a Gander Pullin'? Son, you don't mean sech
ignorance! Thar must have been mighty little sunshine in the life of a
yooth in the morose regions where you was raised for you-all never to
disport yourse'f, even as a spectator, at a Gander Pullin'! It
wouldn't surprise me none after that if you ups an' informs me you
never shakes a fetlock in that dance called money-musk.
"To the end that you be eddicated,--for it's better late than
never,"--I'll pause concernin' Boggs an' the Mexicans long enough to
eloocidate of Gander Pullin's.
"As I su'gests, we onbends in this pastime at sech epocks as Christmas
an' Thanksgivin.' I don't myse'f take actooal part in any Gander
Pullin's. Not that I'm too delicate, but I ain't got no hoss. Bein' a
pore yooth, I spends the mornin' of my c'reer on foot, an' as a hoss is
a necessary ingreedient to a Gander Pullin', I never does stand in
personal on the festival, but is redooced to become a envy-bitten
looker-on.
"Gander Pullin's is conducted near a tavern or a still house so's the
assembled gents won't want the inspiration befittin' both the season
an' the scene, an' is commonly held onder the auspices of the
proprietor tharof. Thar's a track marked out in a cirkle like a little
racecourse for the hosses to gallop on. This course runs between two
poles pinned into the ground; or mebby it's two trees. Thar's a rope
stretched from pole to pole,--taut an' stiff she's stretched; an' the
gander who's the object of the meetin', with his neck an' head greased
a heap lavish, is hung from the rope by his two hind laigs. As the
gander hangs thar, what Colonel Sterett would style 'the cynosure of
every eye,' you'll notice that a gent by standin' high in the stirrups
can get a grip of the gander's head.
"As many as determines to distinguish themse'fs in the amoosement
throws a two-bit piece into a hat. Most likely thar'll be forty
partic'pants. They then lines up, Injun file, an' goes caperin' round
the course, each in his place in the joyous procession. As a gent goes
onder the rope he grabs for the gander's head; an' that party who's
expert enough to bring it away in his hand, wins the hat full of
two-bit pieces yeretofore deescribed.
"Which, of course, no gent succeeds the first dash outen the box, as a
gander's head is on some good and strong; an' many a saddle gets
emptied by virchoo of the back'ard yanks a party gets. But it's on
with the dance! They keeps whoopin' an' shoutin' an' ridin' the cirkle
an' grabbin' at the gander, each in his cheerful turn, ontil some
strong or lucky party sweeps away the prize, assoomes title to the
two-bit pieces, goes struttin' to the licker room an' buys nosepaint
for the pop'lace tharwith.
"Shore, doorin' a contest a gent's got to keep ridin'; he's not allowed
to pause an' dally with the gander an' delay the game. To see to this
a brace of brawny sharps is stationed by each pole with clubs in their
willin' hands to reemonstrate with any hoss or gent who slows down or
stops as he goes onder the gander.
"Thar you have it, son; a brief but lively picture of a Gander Pullin'
as pulled former in blithe old Tennessee. An' you'll allow, if you
sets down to a ca'm, onja'ndiced study of the sport, that a half hour
of reasonable thrill might be expected to flow from it. Gander
Pullin's is popular a lot when I'm a yearlin'; I knows that for shore;
though in a age which grows effete it's mighty likely if we-all goes
back thar now, we'd find it fallen into disuse as a reelaxation.
"In Ridin' for the Chicken's Head, a Mexican don't hang up his prey
none same as we-all does at Gander Pullin's. He buries it in the
ground to sech degrees that nothin' but the head an' neck protroodes.
An' as the Mexicans goes flashin' by on their broncos, each in turn
swings down an' makes a reach for the chicken's head. The experiment
calls for a shore-enough rider; as when a party is over on one side
that a-way, an' nothin' to hold by but a left hand on the saddlehorn
an' a left spur caught in the cantle, any little old pull will fetch
him out on his head.
"This day when Faro Nell comes bulgin' up to amoose her young an' idle
cur'osity with the gayeties of Chihuahua, the Ridin' for the Chicken's
Head is about to commence. Which they're jest plantin' the chicken.
At first Nell don't savey, as she ain't posted deep on Mexican
pastimes. But Nell is plenty quick mental; as, actin' look-out for
Cherokee's bank, she's bound to be. Wherefore Nell don't study the
preeliminaries long before she gets onto the roodiments of some idee
concernin' the jocund plans of the Greasers.
"At last the chicken is buried, an' thar's nothin' in sight but its
anxious head. Except that it can turn an' twist its neck some, it's
fixed in the ground as firm an' solid as the stumps of a mesquite bush.
"The first Greaser--he's a gaudy party with more colours than you could
count in any rainbow--is organisin' for a rush. He's pickin' up his
reins an' pushin' his moccasins deep into his tappedaries, when, as he
gives his cayouse the spur, the beauty of Ridin' for the Chicken's Head
bursts full on Faro Nell. Comin' on her onexpected, Nell don't see no
pleasure in it. It don't present the attractions which so alloores the
heart of a Greaser. Without pausin' to think, an' feelin' shocked over
the fate that's ridin' down on the buried chicken, Nell grips her
little paws convulsive an' snaps her teeth. It's then her eye catches
Dan Boggs, who's contemplatin' details an' awaitin' the finish with
vivid interest.
"'Oh, Dan!' says Nell, grabbin' Dan's arm, 'I don't want that chicken
hurt none! Can't you-all make 'em stop?'
"'Shore!' says Dan, prompt to Nell's cry. 'I preevails on 'em to cease
easy.'
"As Dan says this, that radiant cavalier is sweepin' upon the pore
chicken like the breath of destiny. He's bendin' from the saddle to
make a swoop as Dan speaks. Thar ain't a moment to lose an' Dan's hand
goes to his gun.
"'Watch me stop him,' says Dan; an' as he does, his bullet makes rags
of the Mexican's hand not a inch from the chicken's head.
"For what time you-all might need to slop out a drink, the onlookin'
Mexicans stands still. Then the stoopefyin' impressions made by Dan's
pistol practice wears off an' a howl goes up like a hundred wolves. At
this Dan gets his number-two gun to b'ar, an' with one in each hand,
confronts the tan-coloured multitoode.
"'That's shore a nice shot, Nell!' says Dan over his shoulder, ropin'
for the congratoolations he thinks is comin.'
"But Nell don't hear him; she's one hundred yards away an' streakin' it
for the Red Light like a shootin' star. She tumbles in on us with the
brake off like a stage-coach downhill.
"'Dan's treed Chihuahua!' gasps Nell, as she heads straight for
Cherokee; 'you-all better rustle over thar plumb soon!'
"Cherokee jumps an' grabs his hardware where they're layin' onder the
table. Bein' daylight an' no game goin', an' the day some warm
besides, he ain't been wearin' 'em, bein' as you-all might say in
negligee. Cherokee buckles on his belts in a second an' starts; the
rest of us, however, since we're more ackerately garbed, don't lose no
time an' is already half way to Dan.
"It ain't a two-minute run an' we arrives in time. Thar's no more
blood, though thar might have been, for we finds Dan frontin' up to
full two hundred Greasers, their numbers increasin' and excitement
runnin' a heap high. We cuts in between Dan an' Mexican public opinion
and extricates that over-vol'tile sport.
"But Dan won't return ontil he exhoomes the chicken, which is still
bobbin' an' twistin' its onharmed head where the Mexican buries it.
Dan digs it up an' takes it by the laigs; Enright meanwhile cussin' him
out, fervent an' nervous, for he fears some locoed Greaser will cut
loose every moment an' mebby crease a gent, an' so leave it incumbent
on the rest of us to desolate Chihuahua.
"'It's for Nell,' expostulates Dan, replyin' to Enright's criticisms.
'I knows she wants it by the way she grabs my coat that time.
Moreover, from the tones she speaks in, I reckons she wants it alive.
Also, I don't discern no excoose for this toomult neither; which
you-all is shore the most peevish bunch, Enright, an' that's whatever!'
"'Peevish or no,' retorts Enright, 'as a jedge of warjigs I figgers
that we gets here jest in time. Thar you be, up ag'inst the entire
tribe, an' each one with a gun. It's one of the deefects of a Colt's
six-shooter that it hits as hard an' shoots as troo for a Injun or a
Greaser as it does for folks. Talk about us bein' peevish! what do
you-all reckon would have been results if we hadn't cut in on the
_baile_ at the time we does?'
"'Nothin',' says Dan, with tones of soopreme vanity, at the same time
dustin' the dirt off Nell's chicken, 'nothing except I'd hung crape on
half the dobies in Chihuahua.'
"About two hours after, when things ag'in simmers to the usual, an'
Nell is makin' her chicken a coop out to the r'ar of the Red Light,
Enright gives a half laugh.
"'Dan,' says Enright, 'when I reflects on the hole we drug you out of,
an' the way you-all gets in, you reminds me of that Thomas Benton dog I
owns when I'm a yoothful child on the Cumberland. Which Thomas Benton
that a-way is a mighty industrious dog an' would turn over a
quarter-section of land any afternoon diggin' out a ground-hawg. But
thar's this drawback to Thomas Benton which impairs his market valyoo.
Some folks used to regyard it as a foible; but it's worse, it's a
deefect. As I remarks, this Thomas Benton dog would throw his whole
soul into the work, an' dig for a groundhawg like he ain't got another
dollar. But thar's this pecooliarity: After that Thomas Benton dog has
done dug out the ground-hawg for a couple of hours, you-all is forced
to get a spade an' dig out that Thomas Benton dog. He's dead now these
yere forty years, but if he's livin' I'd shore change his name an'
rebrand him "Dan'l Boggs."'"