Why is he? Why defaces he the fair page of creation, and why is he to
be continued? This has never been explained; it is one of those
dispensations of Providence the design whereof is wrapped in
profoundest obscurity. The good young man is perhaps not without excuse
for his existence, but society is without excuse for permitting it. At
his time of life to be “good” is to insult humanity. Goodness is proper
to the aged; it is their sole glory; why should this milky stripling
bring it into disrepute? Why should he be permitted to defile with the
fat of his sleek locks a crown intended to adorn the grizzled pow of
his elders?
A young man may be manly, gentle, honourable, noble, tender and true,
and nobody will ever think of calling him a good young man. Your good
young man is commonly a sneak, and is very nearly allied to that other
social pest, the “nice young lady.” As applied to the immature male of
our kind, the adjective “good” seems to have been perverted from its
original and ordinary signification, and to have acquired a dyslogistic
one. It is a term of reproach, and means, as nearly as may be,
“characterless.” That any one should submit to have it applied to him
is proof of the essential cowardice of Virtue.
We believe the direst ill afflicting civilization is the good young
man. The next direst is his natural and appointed mate, the nice young
lady. If the two might be tied neck and heels together and flung into
the sea, the land would be the fatter for it.