UNDERGROUND GAME.

It was four o'clock on a wet wintry morning.

Captain Blank executed an inadvertent double-shuffle on a greasy trench

plank and wondered vaguely why the rain should _always_ come from the

north-east. Presently a figure squelched up to him and halted.

"'Tis Sergeant O'Hagan, Sorr," it whispered hoarsely.

"Well, Sergeant, what is it?"

"'Tis the sintry at Fosse 19, Sorr. He's reported quare noises in that

inimy sap beyant."

"Been dreaming, I expect," muttered the Captain, and then added briskly,

"I think I'll have a listen myself. Go ahead, Sergeant."

They made their way slowly along the uneven trench, past silent figures

reclining in various attitudes of ease or discomfort; past emplacements

where machine-guns and trench-mortars were innocently sleeping (with one

eye always open) or being overhauled by an expert night-nurse.

Eventually, by that instinct common to trench-dwellers and professional

poachers, they found themselves at Fosse 19, and with superlative

caution crept up to the sentry.

"What's wrong?" whispered the Captain tersely.

"Well, Sir," replied Private Blobbs, "I was standin' 'ere on listenin'

duty, when I 'ears somethink movin' very contagious, so I pops up me

'ead to 'ave a peep. Didn't see nothink, but I 'ears a pecooliar noise

like----There y'are, Sir."

He broke off abruptly, and, borne upon the wind, came a series of

guttural murmurs.

"Now wouldn't ut give one a quare shtart, that?" remarked Sergeant

O'Hagan, _sotto voce_.

"Um-m," said the Captain thoughtfully. "I think Mr. Hamilton had better

have a look round."

A few minutes later, having invaded the privacy of "Whortleberry Villa,"

he was relentlessly prodding a bundle of waterproofs.

"Come on, young fella!" he exclaimed when the bundle showed signs of

life; "bombin' party forward. Brother Bosch is playin' the piccolo just

outside Fosse 19."

The Subaltern scrambled out of his wraps and, with incredible dispatch,

gathered together the Davids of his section. "All guaranteed," so he

boasted, "to hit the cocoanut every time."

Accoutred with their infernal machines, the little band of hope passed

along the trench as silently as a party of Fenimore Cooper's

North-American Indians.

"Yes, they're at home right enough," muttered the Subaltern, after a

cramped interval of breathless attention, "and fairly asking for it."

He proceeded to make his dispositions with the skill and assurance of an

old hand. He was nearly nineteen.

"We're going to stalk 'em this time," he whispered to the men; "you keep

on crawling till I say 'Go!' Then drop it on them quick."

He slid over the parapet like an eel and disappeared into the night. In

a few moments the sentry was alone in the trench. His state of mind was,

from sheer excitement, almost insupportable.

After what seemed interminable hours, at last he heard the clear word of

command, the clatter of things falling and the immediate roar of the

explosions. In reply, rifle fire began to break out along the German

first trenches, whilst, overhead, a star-shell burst into blossom; then

the stutter of machine-guns joined in the chorus. The sentry flattened

himself like a poultice against the side of the trench. Fosse 19 had,

among other disadvantages, the reputation of being open to enfilading by

machine-gun fire.

The disturbance died away as quickly as it had arisen, but there were no

indications that the bombing party was returning. Private Blobbs danced

with futile impatience and bent his head to the approved angle of the

expert listener. Suddenly a heavy body took him in the nape of the neck.

"Ow!" he exclaimed, floundering in mud and water with an unseen and

inconceivable presence. He clutched the nightmare of an ear and kicked

violently.

"Look aht, Percy," enjoined a hollow but reassuring voice, "'ere comes

another!"

Private Blobbs removed himself with remarkable agility.....

"Good!" exclaimed the Subaltern when he finally slid into the trench.

"This expedition hasn't quite come up to expectations, but it's the

nicest family of pigs I've seen for some time."

He flashed an electric torch on to the disordered carcasses.

"Corporal Leary," he added incisively, "will you kindly see that the

officers' mess is served with fresh pork?"

He snapped out the torch and, complete master of the situation, started

on the return journey to "Whortleberry Villa."

* * * * *

Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 150, February 23, 1916 · 第 28 / 37 题