(_By an Undecided Man._)
Between now and my holidays there but remain two solid days,
And thinking where I'll spend my "vac" has driven me wild with worry;
In vain have I surveyed acres of plans and maps and Baedekers,
And purchased a small library of "Handy Guides" of MURRAY.
Shall I, for want of better, say I'll view the Vierwaldstaettersee,
Or watch the Staubbach fall in mist like web of an arachnid?
Or else, the dawn to see, get up o'ernight upon the Righi-top--
But no, I feel that Joedel-land is now a trifle hackneyed!
For a flutter at _chemin-de-fer_ I might (the place is handy) fare
To Trouville, and along the _plage_ a "Milor" on the spree be;
I could in Teuton _musikshaus_ (till I of Wagner grew sick) souse
In "Hofbraeu," and essay to flirt with each _biergarten_ Hebe.
But then, if I to Norway turn, as Ibsenite I'd _more_ weight earn--
And salmon-fishing mid the Kvaens is certainly high-class sport;
Or rumble in a tarantass o'er Russia? No, an arrant ass
I were, to go where night and day you're badgered for your passport!
I'd like (my programme's large), a panoramic glimpse of far Japan
From Fuji, and round Biwa Lake I'd in a jinrickshaw go;
Or even--for a hasty bet--I'd (like Miss TAYLOR) pace Thibet,
Or "blue" my surplus cash at what the Yankees call "Shecawgo."
Look here! I'll have to sham a tour (though but a humble amatoor
At yarning), as this sort of thing is giving me the fidgets!
I'll--since I've eased my intellect by tripping thus in print--elect
To stay at home and twiddle (for the sake of rhyme) my digits!
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