CHAPTER II.

IN extenuation of so unchristian-like an aspiration as the one which

escaped from the lips of Madame Doppeldick at the end of the last

chapter, it must be remembered that she was a woman of great delicacy

for her size. She was so corpulent, that she might safely have gone to

court without a hoop, her arms were too big for legs; and as for her

legs, it passed for a miracle of industry, even amongst the laborious

hard-working inhabitants of Kleinewinkel, that she knitted her own

stockings. It must be confessed, that she ate heartily, drank heartily,

and slept heartily; and all she ate, drank, and slept, seemed to do her

good, for she never ceased growing, at least horizontally, till she

did ample justice to the name which became her own by marriage. Still,

as the bulk of her body increased, the native shrinking, unobtrusive

modesty of her mind remained the same; or rather it became even more

tremulously sensitive. In spite of her huge dimensions, she seemed to

entertain the Utopian desire of being seen by no eyes save those of

her husband; of passing through life unnoticed and unknown; in short

she was a globe-peony with the feelings of a violet. Judge then what

a shock her blushing sensibilities received from the mere idea of the

strange captain intruding on the shadiest haunts of domestic privacy!

Although by birth, education, and disposition, as loyal as the

sunflower to the sun, in the first rash transports of her trepidation

and vexation she wished anything but well to her liege sovereign the

King of Prussia--wondering bitterly why his majesty could not contrive

to have his reviews and sham-fights in Berlin itself; or at least in

Posen, where there were spare beds to be had, and lodgings to let for

single men. Then again, if the Quarter-master had but condescended

to give a quarter’s notice, why, Mr. Doppeldick might have run up

an extra room, or they might have parted off a portion of their own

chamber with lath and plaster--or they might have done a thousand

things; for instance, they might have sold their house and left the

country, instead of being thus taken unawares in their own sanctorum

by a strange gentleman, as suddenly as if he had tumbled through the

roof. “It was too bad--it was really too bad--and she wondered what Mr.

Doppeldick would say to it when he came home.”

[Illustration: “I WISH I WAS WELL THROUGH IT.”]

The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 02 (of 11) Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original Illustrations · 第 2 / 10 章