_The yard beside_ GIBSON'S _house. Upon our left is seen the
porch or sun-room wing of a good "colonial" house of the
present type. A hedge runs across at the back, about five feet
high, with a gateway and rustic gate. Beyond is seen a
residential suburban quarter, well wooded and with ample
shrubberies. A gravelled path leads from the gate to the porch,
or sun-room, where are broad steps. Upon the lawn are a white
garden bench, a table, and a great green-and-white-striped sun
umbrella, with several white garden chairs.
Autumn has come, and the foliage is beginning to turn; but the
scene is warm and sunlit.
After a moment a young housemaid brings out a tray with a
chocolate pot, wafers, and one cup and saucer and a lace-edged
napkin. She places the tray on the table, moves a chair to it,
looks at the tray thoughtfully, turns, starts toward the
house--when_ GIBSON _comes out. He wears a travelling suit and
is bareheaded._
ELLA: The cook thought you might like a cup of chocolate after a long
trip like that--just getting off the train and all, Mr. Gibson.
GIBSON: Thank you, Ella, I should.
ELLA: I'll bring your mail right out.
[_She goes into the house and returns with a packet of
letters._]
GIBSON: Thanks, Ella!
ELLA: Everything is there that's come since you sent the telegram not to
forward any more.
GIBSON: It's pleasant to find the house and everything just as I left
it.
ELLA: My, Mr. Gibson, we pretty near thought you wasn't never coming
back. Those June roses in that bed round yonder lasted pretty near up
into August this year, Mr. Gibson. For that matter it's such mild
weather even yet some say we won't have any fall till Thanksgiving.
GIBSON: Yes, it's extraordinary.
ELLA: Shall I leave the tray?
GIBSON: No; you can take it. [_She moves to do so._] Wait a minute.
Here's a letter from John Riley, up at the factory. Don't I remember his
son Tom coming here to see you quite a good deal?
ELLA: Yes, sir; Tom's one of the factory truckmen like his father. He
still comes to see me quite a good deal, sir. There isn't anything about
that in the letter, is there, sir? [_She knows there isn't._]
GIBSON [_absently_]: No, no! [_With faint irony._] He only wants to know
about where to get a stock of truck parts that had been ordered before I
broke connections with the factory. He thinks four months is a long time
for them to be on the way and doesn't know where to write.
ELLA: He's a terrible active man, Mr. Riley. Always pushing.
GIBSON: So Tom comes round more than ever, does he?
ELLA [_coyly_]: He does, sir!
GIBSON: I'm not going to lose you, am I, Ella?
ELLA: Well, sir, up to the time of that change in the factory we hadn't
expected we could get married for maybe two years yet, but the way
things are now--not that I want to leave here, sir--but it does look
like going right ahead with the wedding!
GIBSON: Tom feels that prosperous, does he?
ELLA: I guess he _is_ prosperous, sir!
GIBSON [_gravely digesting this_]: Well, I suppose I'm glad to hear it.
ELLA: Yes, sir; everybody's glad these days up at the factory, sir. I
don't mean about just Tom and me, they're glad.
GIBSON: You mean they're all in a glad condition?
ELLA: Oh, _are_ they, sir! Even the Commiskeys got an automobile last
month!
GIBSON: Well, I suppose that's splendid.
ELLA: Didn't you know about it, sir?
GIBSON: No, not a word. I've been pretty deep up in the Maine woods this
summer. Have you been over to the factory at all yourself, Ella?
ELLA: Yes, sir; visitors can go round just as they like to. They're glad
to have you.
GIBSON: When you've been over there, Ella--you know which one is Miss
Gorodna, don't you?
ELLA: Oh, yes, sir! She's one of the best in managing, Miss Gorodna.
GIBSON: You--did you--have you happened to see her?
ELLA: Yes, sir, once or twice.
GIBSON: Did she--ah--did she look overworked?
ELLA: Oh, I shouldn't say so, sir.
GIBSON: She looked well, then?
ELLA: Yes, indeed, sir! Everybody's so happy up there; I don't suppose
none of 'em could look happier than she is, sir!
GIBSON: They are all happy, then?
ELLA [_laughing joyfully_]: You never see such times in your life, sir!
[_A bell rings in the house._] I'll answer the bell.
GIBSON: I've finished this, Ella.
ELLA: Yes, sir. [_She takes the tray and goes into the house._ GIBSON
_opens another letter, reads it._ ELLA _returns._]
ELLA: It's Mr. Mifflin, sir.
GIBSON: All right.
[MIFFLIN, _beaming and bubbling, more radiant than in Act 1,
but dressed as then except for a change of tie, comes from the
house. He carries his umbrella and hat and the same old
magazines and a newspaper._]
MIFFLIN: Ah, Mr. Gibson, you couldn't stay away any longer!
GIBSON: How de do! Sit down!
MIFFLIN [_effervescing, as they sit_]: It's glorious! I heard from your
household you were expected back this Sunday. Now confess! You couldn't
stay away! You had to come and watch it!
GIBSON: Well, I've not had to come and watch it for four months. I don't
expect to watch it much, now.
MIFFLIN: You don't mean to sit there and tell me you don't know
anything about it!
GIBSON: No; I don't know anything about it.
MIFFLIN: Mr. Gibson, you're an extraordinary man!
GIBSON: No, I'm not. What I did was extraordinary, but I was only an
ordinary man pushed into a hole.
MIFFLIN: Oh, no; surrendering the factory was merely normal. What's
remarkable is your staying away from watching the glorious work these
former hireling workmen of your factory are doing, now they've won their
industrial freedom. Myself, I've taken rooms near by: I started to do
one article; now I have a series. And oh, the glory of watching these
comrades with their economic shackles off! Haven't you heard anything of
our success?
GIBSON: Only a word from my housemaid.
MIFFLIN [_delightedly, pinning him_]: Aha! There! What did she say?
"Only a word"; but what was IT?
GIBSON: It indicated--prosperity.
MIFFLIN: Ah! Immense prosperity, didn't it?
GIBSON: I suppose so. Success, at any rate.
MIFFLIN: Success? It's so magnificent that now it's inevitable for
every factory of every kind all over this country.
GIBSON: All over the country?
MIFFLIN: Not only all over this country! The world must do it. Ah,
they've done it in a country larger than this already! And these
comrades right here are showing our country what it means. I don't
begrudge you some credit for having begun it, Mr. Gibson. But you only
anticipated what all owners everywhere are going to have to do before
the workmen simply _take_ the factories. They're going to take them
because they have the inherent right; and they're going to take them
_now_, either by direct action or by the technical owners, like
yourself, seeing the handwriting on the wall.
GIBSON: What do you mean by direct action?
MIFFLIN: Why, just taking them!
GIBSON: By force?
MIFFLIN [_deprecatingly but affably_]: Oh, we hope the theoretical
owners won't reduce them to such extremes. There might be a few cases
that law-abiding citizens would regret; but that isn't the big thing.
Our work here is so far perhaps on the small scale, but it shows--it
shows--that everything must be on a coöperative basis!
GIBSON: Everything? My house, too?
MIFFLIN [_beaming_]: Your house, too.
GIBSON [_amiably_]: How about your gold eyeglasses?
MIFFLIN [_laughing_]: Those will be given me by the state. But
seriously, aren't you coming to pay us a visit at the factory?
GIBSON: Since you ask me--what's the best time? I suppose the whistle
doesn't blow as early as it used to.
MIFFLIN [_laughing pityingly_]: Whistle! Oh, my dear sir! This only
confirms me in my old idea that the technical owners didn't have
practical minds. You don't suppose we abolished you, and then didn't
abolish the whistle? That whistle hurt self-respect. Really I'm sorry
it's Sunday and I can't take you over there this minute to see the great
changes. Talk about collectivism! That factory is the most interesting
place in the world to-day. When the men were working eight long hours a
day under a master it was all repression, reserve; their individualities
were stifled. Now they expand!
GIBSON: You mean they talk a good deal?
MIFFLIN: I never have been in a place where there was so much talk in my
life. They talk all the time; it shows they are thinking.
GIBSON: Isn't it noisy?
MIFFLIN [_delighted_]: It is! Every man has his own ideas and he
expresses them. It means a freshness and originality in the work that
never got into it before.
GIBSON [_worried_]: Originality? You don't mean to say they've changed
any of the features of The Gibson Upright.
MIFFLIN: Oh, no; it's the same piano--and yet different! I almost feel I
could tell the difference by looking at one. There's no change; yet now
it has character. And those men--those men, Mr. Gibson--it's brought out
_their_ character so! They're thinking all the time.
GIBSON: They're working, too, of course?
MIFFLIN: Working! You never saw men work under the old capitalistic
régime, Mr. Gibson! Don't think that this work is the driven, dogged
thing it was when they had to. This is work with dignity, with
enthusiasm, with spontaneity!
GIBSON [_rising, very thoughtful_]: Well, I ought to hope that it is, of
course!
[_He walks to and fro a moment, then comes and rests his hands
on the back of a chair, looking at_ MIFFLIN.]
Mr. Mifflin, I went into this with open eyes. I was angry at the time,
but I had thought of it often. And when I went out I went out! Now I've
kept away and I don't intend to do any prying--as a matter of fact, I'm
only back here for two or three days--but I have some natural curiosity,
especially about certain particulars.
MIFFLIN: Everything is as open as the sunlight--no capitalistic secret
machinations. Ask anything you like!
GIBSON: Well, then, do you happen to know what are the profits for these
four months?
MIFFLIN: Frankly, that's a detail I don't know. But I do know that
everyone is delighted and that the profits have been large.
GIBSON: And no friction among the men?
MIFFLIN: No--I--no, none at all; no friction; nothing that could be
called friction at all.
GIBSON: Then it's a complete success?
MIFFLIN: Absolutely! Why, just let me picture it to you, Mr. Gibson.
Don't you understand, these men are not hirelings now; they're comrades,
a brotherhood! You should see them as they come from the factory in the
warm afternoon sunshine. They stop in groups and continue discussions of
matters of interest that have come up during the day. You hear the most
eager discussion, such spirited repartee; and in the factory itself
these groups gather at any time. When there may be some tiny bit of
friction it is disposed of amicably, comrade to comrade. And some of the
wives of the workmen have taken the greatest interest! Imagine under the
capitalistic régime a wife coming and sitting at her husband's side and
taking up little matters of importance with him, as a wife should, while
he worked! Oh, the wives have caught the idea, too! They're
proprietresses just as much as their husbands are proprietors. And you
can see how keenly they feel the responsibility and want to share in
settling all questions that come up. Then they walk home with their
husbands, talking it all over. Mr. Gibson, I tell you, sometimes it has
moved me. More than once I have found my eyes moistening as I watched
it.
GIBSON: And do you happen to know--well, haven't the men felt the need
for a certain kind of general management of the institution's affairs?
MIFFLIN: Oh, that's all met--all met by meetings of the governing board,
the committee.
GIBSON: No; I meant, hasn't any need been felt for a man with a certain
specialized knowledge? Say, for instance, to deal with the purchasing
of raw materials?
MIFFLIN [_somewhat vague and puzzled_]: I think they did do this through
an individual for a time. I think the head bookkeeper was given charge
of such matters; at least I think so. But probably they found that the
creation of such an office was unnecessary. Purely clerical work. At
least I haven't seen him about for several weeks.
GIBSON: Was he there on just one share of the profits?
MIFFLIN: Why, of course! That is the _sine qua non_.
GIBSON [_thoughtfully_]: I see. [_Paces up and down and halts again._]
So you say everybody is happy?
MIFFLIN: Radiant!
GIBSON: Everybody?
MIFFLIN [_beaming_]: Come and see!
GIBSON: Ah--Miss Gorodna seems to like it all, does she?
MIFFLIN: _Does_ she!
GIBSON [_a little falsely_]: None of them are happier than she is, I
suppose?
MIFFLIN: Miss Gorodna is the radiant, joyous sunshine of the whole
place!
GIBSON [_somewhat ruefully_]: Well, that's pleasant news.
[ELLA _appears from the house._]
ELLA: It's that old Ed Carter from the factory, Mr. Gibson. He heard
from Tom Riley you was expected back and he's come to call on you.
GIBSON: Tell him to come right out. [_Sees_ CARTER _beyond_ ELLA.] Come
out here, Carter! Glad to see you!
[_They shake hands._ CARTER _is unchanged as to head and
whiskers, but wears a square-cut black frock coat, or "Prince
Albert," with trousers and waistcoat of the same material; old
brown shoes, a derby hat, a blue satin four-in-hand tie._]
CARTER: How do you do, Mr. Gibson! I just thought I'd pay my respects,
as Tom Riley passed the word round the factory you was coming back.
GIBSON: Sit down, sit down!
MIFFLIN [_exuberantly_]: How do you do, Carter, how do you do! [_They
shake hands and_ MIFFLIN _pats_ CARTER _on the shoulder._] Look at him,
Mr. Gibson! Look at him! Don't you see what the New Freedom has done for
him? It's in his eye! That pride of liberty! It's in his step, in every
gesture he makes. [CARTER _strokes his whiskers._] You're old
friends--equal now, equal at last. I won't disturb you! [_Picks up his
hat, magazines, and umbrella._] He can give you more than I can, Mr.
Gibson. Good afternoon! Good afternoon!
[_He goes out through the gate._]
GIBSON: Sit down, Carter. Sit down! [_They sit._] Well, is everything
fine?
CARTER [_heartily_]: Yes, sir! It is, Mr. Gibson! Indeed it is!
[_Glances with some little pride at his clothes._] I couldn't of
expected no finer. Fact is, I never could of asked for anything like
this, even if I'd been a praying man.
GIBSON: Well, I'm glad to hear it, Carter!
CARTER: I knowed you would be, Mr. Gibson. It's all just wonderful the
way things are working out!
GIBSON: Everything is working out just right, is it?
CARTER: Oh, I don't say everything! They's bound to be some little mites
here and there. You know that yourself.
GIBSON [_grimly_]: Yes, I do! What are _your_ little mites, Carter?
CARTER: Well, what mostly gits my goat is this here Simpson's wife, Mrs.
Simpson.
GIBSON: What bothers you about Simpson's wife?
CARTER: Well, what I says, woman's place is the home, and this here Mrs.
Simpson--I--I never could stand no loud, gabby woman!
GIBSON: You're not neighbours, are you?
CARTER: No! She spends all her days at the factory; you might think she
was running the whole place! What's worse'n that, you know they elected
me chairman o' the governing committee, and she's all the time trying to
'lectioneer me out. What she wants is to git Simpson in for chairman;
that'd be jest same's her bein' chairman herself, the way she runs
Simpson! That's the only thing that worries me. Everything else is just
splendid, splendid!
GIBSON: I understand you don't blow the whistle any more. What hours are
you working now?
CARTER: Well, first we thought we ought to work about six; but we got on
such a good basis a good many of them are talkin' how they think that's
too much. It'd suit me either way. _That_ ain't the trouble over at that
factory, Mr. Gibson.
GIBSON: What is the trouble over at that factory?
CARTER [_with feeling_]: Mr. Gibson, it's the inequality. Look at me
now, and look at Simpson. Simpson and his wife haven't got a child, and
I got seven, every one of 'em to support, and my married daughter lost
her husband and got a shock, and I got her and her three little ones
pretty much on my hands. And Simpson draws down every cent as much as
what I do; just exactly the same. And if the truth was told he don't
work as much as what I do. Then, look at them bachelors; they ain't got
_nobody_ to support! Well, that's got to be settled!
GIBSON: How are you going to settle it?
CARTER [_cheerfully_]: Oh, the committee meetin' settles everything by
vote. I'd of put a motion about these matters at some o' the meetings
long ago except I'm chairman and they worked a rule on me the chairman
can't put motions. But some of us got it fixed up to git it put over at
the meeting to-morrow. That's the _big_ meeting to-morrow--the monthly
one. Don't misunderstand me, Mr. Gibson; I ain't makin' no complaint
about these here details, because everything else is so splendid and
prosperous it seems like this here New Dawn Mr. Mifflin called it in his
article.
GIBSON: Nothing else worries you then, Carter?
CARTER: Nothing else in the world, Mr. Gibson. Except there might be
some of 'em don't take their responsibilities the way I could wish.
Fact is, there's so much talkin' gits to goin' over there sometimes you
can't hear yourself work. Me? I'm an honest worker, if I work for you or
work for myself. But I can't claim they're all that way. Some that used
to loaf, you can't claim they don't loaf more than they did; yes, sir!
GIBSON: They get just the same as you do, though, don't they?
CARTER: Oh, yes! That's the _sinee que none_; it's the brotherhood
between comrades. I don't mean to complain, but they's one thing that
don't look to me just fair. It took me four years to learn my trade and
I'm a skilled workman, and now some Hunnyacks that just sends strips
along through a chute--and it's all they do know how to do--they used to
git two and a half a day to my six, but this way we both git just the
same. I says something about it didn't seem right to me, and one them
Hunnyacks called me a boor-jaw. Well, then I talked to Miss Gorodna
about it.
GIBSON: What did Miss Gorodna say?
CARTER: Miss Gorodna says: "But you both get enough, don't you?"
GIBSON: Well, don't you?
CARTER [_scratching his head_]: Yes, plenty; and it _sounds_ all right,
them and me gittin' the same; but I can't just seem to work it out in my
mind how it _is_ right. [_Cheering up._] Mr. Mifflin says himself,
though, it's just wonderful! And we certainly are makin' great money!
GIBSON: Then all you poor are getting rich?
CARTER: Yes; looks like we will be.
[_During these speeches_ NORA _has appeared, or rather her head
and shoulders have, above the hedge. She has come along the
hedge and now stands halting at the gate. She wears a becoming
autumn dress and hat, in excellent taste; carries a slim
umbrella. She has a beautifully bound book in her hand._]
NORA [_opening the gate_]: Do you mind my coming in the side gate, Mr.
Gibson?
[GIBSON, _startled by her voice, turns abruptly from_ CARTER
_to stare at her, speaks after a pause, slowly._]
GIBSON: No, I don't mind what gate you come in.
NORA [_coming down to join them_]: How do you do! [_Gives him her
hand._]
GIBSON: How do you do!
CARTER [_on the other side of her_]: How do you do, Miss Gorodna!
NORA [_for a brief moment confused that she has not noticed_ Carter]:
Oh--oh, how do you do, Mr. Carter! [_Turns and shakes hands with him.
She turns again, facing_ GIBSON.] I just heard you were here. I wanted
to bring you this copy of Montaigne--if you'll forgive me for keeping it
a year.
GIBSON: I gave it to you. Don't you--remember?
NORA: Yes, I--remember. But things were different then. Please. I think
I oughtn't to keep it now. [_He takes it, places it gently upon the
table; they sit facing each other; she speaks more cheerfully and
briskly._] I came to see you on a matter of business, too.
CARTER: Well, then, I'll just be--
NORA: Oh, no! Please stay, Mr. Carter! It's a factory matter. [CARTER
_coughs and sits._ NORA _continues, not pausing for that._] It was about
that great stock of wire you had your purchasing agent buy just before
the--before you went away, Mr. Gibson.
GIBSON: I'm glad to see you looking so well, Miss Gorodna.
NORA: Thank you! If you remember, you must have ordered him to buy all
the wire of our grade that was in the market at that time. At any rate,
we found ourselves in possession of an enormous stock that would have
lasted us about three years.
GIBSON: Yes. That's what I wanted.
NORA: As it happened it turned out to be a very good investment, Mr.
Gibson, because in less than a month it had gained about nine per cent.
in value, and three weeks ago a man came to us and offered to take it
off our hands at a price giving us a twenty-two per cent. profit!
GIBSON: Yes; I should think he would.
NORA: So of course we sold it.
GIBSON [_checks an exclamation, merely saying_]: Did you?
NORA: Naturally we did! Twenty-two per cent. profit in that short time!
Now it just happens that we've got to buy some more ourselves, and we
can't get hold of any, even at the price that we sold it, because it
seems to have kept going up. I thought perhaps you might know where to
get some at the price you bought the other, and you mightn't mind
telling us.
GIBSON: No; I wouldn't mind telling you. I'd like to tell you.
NORA: You think there isn't any?
GIBSON: I'm sure there isn't any.
NORA: Then I'm afraid we'll have to get some back from the people we
sold to. Of course I'm anxious to show the great financial improvement
as well as other improvements. That's partly my province and Mr.
Carter's, our committee chairman, besides our regular work.
GIBSON: Mr. Mifflin tells me that you had a sort of general manager for
a while at first.
CARTER: Oh, that was Hill, the head bookkeeper. He left. He was a
traitor to the comrades.
GIBSON: Hill? He knew quite a little about the business. Why did he
leave?
CARTER: Why, that Coles-Hibbard factory went and offered him a big
salary to come over there; more than he thought he could get coöperatin'
with us.
NORA: Hill was always a capitalist at heart. We certainly haven't needed
him!
CARTER: Oh, everybody was glad to get rid of Hill! Better off without
him--better off without him!
GIBSON: I suppose it was really an economy, his going?
NORA [_smiling_]: It resulted in economy.
GIBSON: Have you made many economies?
NORA: Oh, a great many!
CARTER: Oh, my! Yes!
NORA: Economies! [_Her manner now is indulgent, amused, friendly, almost
pitying._] Mr. Gibson, have you any realization of what you threw away
at that place? Don't be afraid, I'll never bring you the figures. I
wouldn't do such a thing to anybody!
GIBSON: Do you think I was too lavish?
NORA: We couldn't believe it at first. Just what was being thrown away
on advertising, for instance. The bill you paid for the last month you
were there was five thousand dollars!
CARTER: That was the figger! It's certainly a good one on you, Mr.
Gibson.
NORA: We cut that five thousand dollars down to _three hundred_! That
was one item of forty-seven hundred dollars a month saved. Just one
item!
CARTER [_hilariously_]: Quite some item!
NORA [_seriously and gently_]: Five thousand dollars a month to
advertise a piano that sells for only a hundred and eighty-eight
dollars!
CARTER: That's the facts!
NORA: Mr. Gibson, did you really ever have any idea what you were
paying in commissions to agents?
GIBSON: Yes, I did.
NORA: Why, I can't believe it! Did you know that you paid them twenty
per cent. on each piano? Over thirty-seven dollars!
GIBSON: Yes.
NORA: But wasn't it thrown away? I can't understand how you kept the
factory going so long as you did, with such losses. Why, don't you know
it amounts to hundreds of thousands of dollars a year? When we found it
out we couldn't see how you made both ends meet, and we thought there
must have been some mistake, and you'd never realized what advantage
these agents were taking of you.
GIBSON: Yes, I knew what they got.
NORA [_triumphantly_]: We cut those commissions from thirty-seven
dollars--to _twelve_! And that's just one more item among our economies.
Now do you wonder at the success we're making?
GIBSON: And your profits have been--satisfactory?
NORA: The very first month our profits were _four thousand dollars_ more
than the last month you were there!
GIBSON: That's the month you say you cut out four thousand seven
hundred dollars' worth of advertising.
NORA: And the next month we cut down the commissions, and the profits
were _five_ thousand more!
GIBSON: But those were returns under the old commissions.
NORA: But last month, with new economies, we showed a larger profit than
you had!
GIBSON: And this month?
NORA: We shan't know that until the report's read at the meeting
to-morrow. I think it will be the largest profit of all.
CARTER: That bookkeeper's workin' on it to-day. Talked like he was going
to cut us down two or three thousand, mebbe. [_Laughing._] That's the
way he always talks.
NORA: He isn't a good influence.
CARTER: No--too gloomy, too gloomy to suit me!
GIBSON: What about the two other bookkeepers?
CARTER: The committee voted them into the packing department; and they
ain't much good even there. It's a crime!
NORA: They weren't needed. Our bookkeeping is so simplified since you
left!
GIBSON: It all seems to be simplified, Miss Gorodna.
NORA: Yes; and whatever problems come up, they're all settled at our
meetings.
[_A sound of squabbling is heard upon the street, growing
louder as the people engaging in it approach along the
sidewalk._]
CARTER: There's one we got to bring up and do something about at the
meetin' to-morrow.
GIBSON: What is it? [CARTER _goes up to the gate._]
NORA: It's that Mrs. Simpson; she's a great nuisance.
CARTER: Yes, it's her and Simpson and Frankel. The Simpsons moved into a
flat right up in this neighbourhood. Quite some of the comrades live up
round here now.
[FRANKEL _and_ MRS. SIMPSON _are heard disputing as they
approach: "Well, what you goin' to do about it!" "I'll show you
what we're goin' to do about it!" "You can't do nothing!" "You
wait till to-morrow and see." "I got my rights, ain't I?" and
so on._]
SIMPSON [_heard remonstrating_]: Now, Mamie, Mamie! Frankel, you
oughtn't to talk to Mamie that way.
[GIBSON, _interested and amused, goes part way up to the
hedge._ NORA _is somewhat mortified as the disputants reach the
gate._ GIBSON _speaks to them._]
GIBSON: How do you do, Simpson! How do you do, Mrs. Simpson! How do you
do, Frankel! Won't you come in and argue here?
MRS. SIMPSON: Wha'd you say, Mr. Gibson?
GIBSON: I said come in; come in!
SIMPSON [_uncertainly_]: Well, I don't know.
GIBSON: Come in! Nobody here but friends of yours. Sit down. I'd like to
hear what the argument was about.
[MRS. SIMPSON _is a large woman, domineering and noisy, dressed
somewhat expensively. She is proud of some new furs and a pair
of quite fancy shoes._ SIMPSON _has a new suit of clothes and a
gold-headed cane._
FRANKEL _wears a cheap cutaway suit and is smoking a cigar._]
MRS. SIMPSON: I don't care who hears the argument! Right's right and
wrong's wrong!
FRANKEL: You bet right's right, and so's my rights right!
MRS. SIMPSON: You ain't got any rights.
FRANKEL [_hotly to everybody_]: Do you hear she says I ain't got no
rights at all?
MRS. SIMPSON: You ain't got the rights you claim you got.
FRANKEL: She comes down there and tries to run the whole factory. Ask
any of 'em if she don't. Ask Carter!
MRS. SIMPSON: I own that factory just as much as anybody does.
SIMPSON: Now, Frankel, you be careful what you say to Mamie!
FRANKEL: I got shares in that factory and by rights ought to have as
many votes at the meetin' as I got shares--let alone your talking about
trying to root me out of my profits!
GIBSON: What's this about Frankel having shares?
FRANKEL [_violently_]: You bet your life I got shares! And I'm going to
have my shares of the money at that meetin' to-morrow!
MRS. SIMPSON: You bet your life you ain't!
SIMPSON: You think we're goin' to vote all our profits away to you?
CARTER: Wait a minute! Ain't I the chairman of that--
MRS. SIMPSON: You may be chairman yet--but not long!
FRANKEL [_sharply to_ CARTER]: You just try to rule me out once!
GIBSON: What's it all about?
MRS. SIMPSON: I'll soon enough tell anybody what it's about!
FRANKEL: You couldn't tell nothing straight!
CARTER [_deprecatingly_]: Now, now, this here's just one of our little
side difficulties, you might say. What's the use to git huffy over it,
we're gittin' along so well and all? The trouble is, some o' the men and
their families ain't been used to so much prosperity and money in the
house that way, all of a sudden. Of course some of 'em got to living too
high and run into some debt and everything.
FRANKEL: Well, what business is that of yours? The factory ain't a Home,
is it? And you ain't the Matron, are you?
CARTER: I don't claim such!
FRANKEL: It's my business, ain't it, if I take and live on the cheaps
and put by for a rainy day, and happen to have money when other people
need it from me?
SIMPSON: _That_ much may be your business, but I reckon it was our
business when you come blowin' round the factory, first that you owned
seven shares besides your own; then, a week after, you says seventeen;
then--
GIBSON: Well, how many shares has he got?
SIMPSON: He was claimin' twenty-four yesterday.
MRS. SIMPSON [_violently_]: He's bought two more since last night. Now
he claims twenty-six!
FRANKEL: Yes; and I _own_ twenty-six!
CARTER: That ain't never goin' to do! I don't say it's a condition as
you might say we exactly see how to handle right now, but the way it is,
you certainly got us all disturbed up and hard to git at the rights of
it. You claimin' all them shares--
FRANKEL: Well, my goodness, you git the _work_ fer them shares, don't
you? What you yelpin' about?
CARTER: I don't say we don't git the same amount o' work, but--
FRANKEL: Well, _how_ you git it, that's my lookout, ain't it, so it's
done?
CARTER: But you claim you got a right to draw out twenty-six profits!
FRANKEL: Sure I do when I furnish the labour for twenty-six. Am I
crazy?
CARTER: But that way you're makin' more than any ten men put together in
the whole factory!
FRANKEL: Ain't it just? What you goin' to do about it?
[_During this speech_ SHOMBERG _has come along the street and
stands looking over the gate._]
CARTER: Well, so fur, we ain't been able to see how to argue with you.
It don't look right, and yet it's hard to find jest what to say to you.
FRANKEL: You bet it is!
CARTER: 'Course, that's one of the points that's got to be settled at
the meeting to-morrow.
FRANKEL: You bet it'll be settled!
MRS. SIMPSON: If we had another kind of a chairman it'd been settled
long ago, and settled right!
CARTER: Now look here, Mrs. Simpson--
FRANKEL [_passionately_]: I got twenty-six shares, and I earned 'em,
too! [_To_ GIBSON.] Look at the trouble they make me--to git my legal
rights, let alone the rest the trouble I got! [_Fiercely to_ CARTER _and
to_ SIMPSON]: Yes, I had twenty-four shares yesterday and I got
twenty-six to-day! and I might have another by to-night. Don't think
I'm the only one that's got sense enough not to go smearin' his money
all round on cheap limousines and Queen Anne dinin'-room sets at
eighty-nine dollars per! [_Dramatically pointing at_ SHOMBERG]: There's
a man worth four shares right now! He had three and he bought Mitchell's
out last night at Steinwitz's pool room. Ask him whether he thinks I got
a right to my twenty-six profits or not!
SHOMBERG: You bet your life!
MRS. SIMPSON: I guess that Dutchman hasn't got the say-so, has he?
FRANKEL: No. _You_ run the factory now, Mrs. Simpson!
CARTER: Now look here; this ain't very much like comrades, is it, all
this arguin'? Sunday, too!
FRANKEL: Oh, I'm tryin' to be friendly!
CARTER [_to_ GIBSON]: This buyin' of shares and all has kind of
introduced a sort of an undesirable element into the factory, you might
say. That's kind of the bothersome side of it, and it can't be denied we
would have quite a good deal of bothersomeness if it wasn't for our
meeting.
NORA [_to everybody except_ GIBSON]: Don't you all think that these
arguments are pretty foolish when you know that nothing can be settled
except at the governing committee's meeting?
SIMPSON: That's so, Miss Gorodna. What's more, it don't look like as
good comrades as it ought to. I don't want to have no trouble with
Frankel. He might have the rights of it for all I know. Anyways, if he
hasn't I ain't got the brains to make out the case against him, and
anyways, as you say, the meetin' settles all them things.
NORA: Don't you think you and Frankel might shake hands now, like good
comrades?
FRANKEL [_with hostility_]: Sure, I'll shake hands with him!
SIMPSON: Well, I just as soon.
MRS. SIMPSON: Don't you do it, Henry!
SIMPSON: Well, but he's a comrade.
MRS. SIMPSON: Well, you can't help that! You don't have to shake hands
with him.
SIMPSON: Well, consider it done, Frankel. Consider it done!
CARTER: That's right, that's right! We can leave it to the meeting.
SHOMBERG: You bet you can! You goin' my way, Frankel?
[FRANKEL, _joining him, speaks to_ MRS. SIMPSON.]
FRANKEL: I s'pose you're going to come to the meetin', Mrs. Simpson?
MRS. SIMPSON: Ain't my place where my husband is?
FRANKEL: Well, you don't git no vote!
MRS. SIMPSON: There's goin' to be a motion introduced for the wives _to_
vote.
FRANKEL: Watch it pass! Good-bye, Mr. Gibson!
[GIBSON _nods._ FRANKEL _goes away with_ SHOMBERG.]
SIMPSON: Good-bye, Mr. Gibson! All this don't amount to much. It'll all
be settled to-morrow.
MRS. SIMPSON: Good-bye, Mr. Gibson! [_And as they go out the gate_]: You
bet your life it'll be settled! If that wall-eyed runt thinks he can
walk over _me_--
CARTER [_looking after them, laughing_]: Well, she's an awful
interfering woman! And she ain't the only one. If they'd all stay home
like my wife things would be smoother, I guess. Still, they're smooth
enough. [_Going_]: If you want to see that, Mr. Gibson, we'll be glad to
have you look in at the meeting. You're always welcome at the factory
and it'd be a treat to you to see how things work out. It's at eleven
o'clock if you'd like to come.
GIBSON: Thanks, Carter.
CARTER: Well, good afternoon, Mr. Gibson and Miss Gorodna. Good evening,
I should say, I reckon.
GIBSON: Good evening, Carter.
[_The light has grown to be of sunset._ CARTER _goes._]
NORA [_going toward the gate_]: I'm glad to see you looking so well.
Good evening!
GIBSON: Oh, just a minute more.
NORA: Well?
GIBSON: It looks as if that might be a lively meeting to-morrow.
NORA: Is that the old capitalistic sneer?
GIBSON: Indeed it's not! It only seemed to me from what we've just heard
here--
NORA [_bitterly_]: Oh, I suppose all business men's meetings and
arguments, when their interests happen to clash, are angelically sweet
and amiable! Because you see that my comrades are human and have their
human differences--
GIBSON: Nora, don't be angry.
NORA: I'll try not. Of _course_ it isn't all a bed of roses! Of _course_
things don't run like oiled machinery!
GIBSON: But they do run?
NORA: It's magnificent!
GIBSON: Do you want me to come to that meeting to-morrow?
NORA: Yes; I'd like you to see how reasonable people settle their
differences when they have an absolutely equal and common interest.
GIBSON [_in a low voice_]: Aren't you ever tired?
[_For a moment she has looked weary. She instantly braces up
and answers with spirit._]
NORA: Tired of living out my ideals?
GIBSON: No; I just mean tired of working. Wouldn't you rather stop and
come here and live in this quiet house?
NORA [_incredulously_]: I?
GIBSON: Couldn't there even be a chance of it, Nora? That you'd marry
me?
NORA [_amazed and indignant_]: A chance that I would--
GIBSON: Well, then, wouldn't you even be willing to leave it to the
meeting to-morrow?
[_Already in motion she gives him a look of terror and intense
negation._]
NORA: Oh! [_She runs from the gateway._]