HOW I KILLED A BEAR

So many conflicting accounts have appeared about my casual encounter

with an Adirondack bear last summer that in justice to the public, to

myself, and to the bear, it is necessary to make a plain statement of

the facts. Besides, it is so seldom I have occasion to kill a bear,

that the celebration of the exploit may be excused.

The encounter was unpremeditated on both sides. I was not hunting

for a bear, and I have no reason to suppose that a bear was looking

for me. The fact is, that we were both out blackberrying, and met by

chance, the usual way. There is among the Adirondack visitors always

a great deal of conversation about bears,--a general expression of

the wish to see one in the woods, and much speculation as to how a

person would act if he or she chanced to meet one. But bears are

scarce and timid, and appear only to a favored few.

It was a warm day in August, just the sort of day when an adventure

of any kind seemed impossible. But it occurred to the housekeepers

at our cottage--there were four of them--to send me to the clearing,

on the mountain back of the house, to pick blackberries. It was

rather a series of small clearings, running up into the forest, much

overgrown with bushes and briers, and not unromantic. Cows pastured

there, penetrating through the leafy passages from one opening to

another, and browsing among the bushes. I was kindly furnished with

a six-quart pail, and told not to be gone long.

Not from any predatory instinct, but to save appearances, I took a

gun. It adds to the manly aspect of a person with a tin pail if he

also carries a gun. It was possible I might start up a partridge;

though how I was to hit him, if he started up instead of standing

still, puzzled me. Many people use a shotgun for partridges. I

prefer the rifle: it makes a clean job of death, and does not

prematurely stuff the bird with globules of lead. The rifle was a

Sharps, carrying a ball cartridge (ten to the pound),--an excellent

weapon belonging to a friend of mine, who had intended, for a good

many years back, to kill a deer with it. He could hit a tree with it

--if the wind did not blow, and the atmosphere was just right, and

the tree was not too far off--nearly every time. Of course, the tree

must have some size. Needless to say that I was at that time no

sportsman. Years ago I killed a robin under the most humiliating

circumstances. The bird was in a low cherry-tree. I loaded a big

shotgun pretty full, crept up under the tree, rested the gun on the

fence, with the muzzle more than ten feet from the bird, shut both

eyes, and pulled the trigger. When I got up to see what had

happened, the robin was scattered about under the tree in more than a

thousand pieces, no one of which was big enough to enable a

naturalist to decide from it to what species it belonged. This

disgusted me with the life of a sportsman. I mention the incident to

show that, although I went blackberrying armed, there was not much

inequality between me and the bear.

In this blackberry-patch bears had been seen. The summer before, our

colored cook, accompanied by a little girl of the vicinage, was

picking berries there one day, when a bear came out of the woods, and

walked towards them. The girl took to her heels, and escaped. Aunt

Chloe was paralyzed with terror. Instead of attempting to run, she

sat down on the ground where she was standing, and began to weep and

scream, giving herself up for lost. The bear was bewildered by this

conduct. He approached and looked at her; he walked around and

surveyed her. Probably he had never seen a colored person before,

and did not know whether she would agree with him: at any rate, after

watching her a few moments, he turned about, and went into the

forest. This is an authentic instance of the delicate consideration

of a bear, and is much more remarkable than the forbearance towards

the African slave of the well-known lion, because the bear had no

thorn in his foot.

When I had climbed the hill,--I set up my rifle against a tree, and

began picking berries, lured on from bush to bush by the black gleam

of fruit (that always promises more in the distance than it realizes

when you reach it); penetrating farther and farther, through leaf-

shaded cow-paths flecked with sunlight, into clearing after clearing.

I could hear on all sides the tinkle of bells, the cracking of

sticks, and the stamping of cattle that were taking refuge in the

thicket from the flies. Occasionally, as I broke through a covert, I

encountered a meek cow, who stared at me stupidly for a second, and

then shambled off into the brush. I became accustomed to this dumb

society, and picked on in silence, attributing all the wood noises to

the cattle, thinking nothing of any real bear. In point of fact,

however, I was thinking all the time of a nice romantic bear, and as

I picked, was composing a story about a generous she-bear who had

lost her cub, and who seized a small girl in this very wood, carried

her tenderly off to a cave, and brought her up on bear's milk and

honey. When the girl got big enough to run away, moved by her

inherited instincts, she escaped, and came into the valley to her

father's house (this part of the story was to be worked out, so that

the child would know her father by some family resemblance, and have

some language in which to address him), and told him where the bear

lived. The father took his gun, and, guided by the unfeeling

daughter, went into the woods and shot the bear, who never made any

resistance, and only, when dying, turned reproachful eyes upon her

murderer. The moral of the tale was to be kindness to animals.

I was in the midst of this tale when I happened to look some rods

away to the other edge of the clearing, and there was a bear! He was

standing on his hind legs, and doing just what I was doing,--picking

blackberries. With one paw he bent down the bush, while with the

other he clawed the berries into his mouth,--green ones and all. To

say that I was astonished is inside the mark. I suddenly discovered

that I didn't want to see a bear, after all. At about the same

moment the bear saw me, stopped eating berries, and regarded me with

a glad surprise. It is all very well to imagine what you would do

under such circumstances. Probably you wouldn't do it: I didn't.

The bear dropped down on his forefeet, and came slowly towards me.

Climbing a tree was of no use, with so good a climber in the rear.

If I started to run, I had no doubt the bear would give chase; and

although a bear cannot run down hill as fast as he can run up hill,

yet I felt that he could get over this rough, brush-tangled ground

faster than I could.

The bear was approaching. It suddenly occurred to me how I could

divert his mind until I could fall back upon my military base. My

pail was nearly full of excellent berries, much better than the bear

could pick himself. I put the pail on the ground, and slowly backed

away from it, keeping my eye, as beast-tamers do, on the bear. The

ruse succeeded.

The bear came up to the berries, and stopped. Not accustomed to eat

out of a pail, he tipped it over, and nosed about in the fruit,

"gorming" (if there is such a word) it down, mixed with leaves and

dirt, like a pig. The bear is a worse feeder than the pig. Whenever

he disturbs a maple-sugar camp in the spring, he always upsets the

buckets of syrup, and tramples round in the sticky sweets, wasting

more than he eats. The bear's manners are thoroughly disagreeable.

As soon as my enemy's head was down, I started and ran. Somewhat out

of breath, and shaky, I reached my faithful rifle. It was not a

moment too soon. I heard the bear crashing through the brush after

me. Enraged at my duplicity, he was now coming on with blood in his

eye. I felt that the time of one of us was probably short. The

rapidity of thought at such moments of peril is well known. I

thought an octavo volume, had it illustrated and published, sold

fifty thousand copies, and went to Europe on the proceeds, while that

bear was loping across the clearing. As I was cocking the gun, I

made a hasty and unsatisfactory review of my whole life. I noted,

that, even in such a compulsory review, it is almost impossible to

think of any good thing you have done. The sins come out uncommonly

strong. I recollected a newspaper subscription I had delayed paying

years and years ago, until both editor and newspaper were dead, and

which now never could be paid to all eternity.

The bear was coming on.

I tried to remember what I had read about encounters with bears. I

couldn't recall an instance in which a man had run away from a bear

in the woods and escaped, although I recalled plenty where the bear

had run from the man and got off. I tried to think what is the best

way to kill a bear with a gun, when you are not near enough to club

him with the stock. My first thought was to fire at his head; to

plant the ball between his eyes: but this is a dangerous experiment.

The bear's brain is very small; and, unless you hit that, the bear

does not mind a bullet in his head; that is, not at the time. I

remembered that the instant death of the bear would follow a bullet

planted just back of his fore-leg, and sent into his heart. This

spot is also difficult to reach, unless the bear stands off, side

towards you, like a target. I finally determined to fire at him

generally.

The bear was coming on.

The contest seemed to me very different from anything at Creedmoor.

I had carefully read the reports of the shooting there; but it was

not easy to apply the experience I had thus acquired. I hesitated

whether I had better fire lying on my stomach or lying on my back,

and resting the gun on my toes. But in neither position, I

reflected, could I see the bear until he was upon me. The range was

too short; and the bear wouldn't wait for me to examine the

thermometer, and note the direction of the wind. Trial of the

Creedmoor method, therefore, had to be abandoned; and I bitterly

regretted that I had not read more accounts of offhand shooting.

For the bear was coming on.

I tried to fix my last thoughts upon my family. As my family is

small, this was not difficult. Dread of displeasing my wife, or

hurting her feelings, was uppermost in my mind. What would be her

anxiety as hour after hour passed on, and I did not return! What

would the rest of the household think as the afternoon passed, and no

blackberries came! What would be my wife's mortification when the

news was brought that her husband had been eaten by a bear! I cannot

imagine anything more ignominious than to have a husband eaten by a

bear. And this was not my only anxiety. The mind at such times is

not under control. With the gravest fears the most whimsical ideas

will occur. I looked beyond the mourning friends, and thought what

kind of an epitaph they would be compelled to put upon the stone.

Something like this:

The Complete Writings of Charles Dudley Warner — Volume 3 · 第 5 / 63 题