_"Visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third
and fourth generation._"--Bible.
"Don't be so hard on yourself, Nellie. I am sure it can be no great
wrong you have done. Girls like you are too apt to be morbid. No doubt
we all do it, whatever it is. I'm sure I shall not blame you when you
tell me. Perhaps I shall say you are quite right--that is, if there is
any right and wrong to it, and provided I know which is which, after I
hear the whole story--as most likely I shall not. Right--"
And here the elder woman smiled a little satirically, and looked out
of the window with a far-away gaze, as if she were retravelling through
vast spaces of time and experience far beyond anything her friend could
comprehend.
The evening shadows had gathered, and cast, as they will, a spell of
gravity and exchange of confidences over the two.
Presently the older woman began speaking again:
"Do you know, Nell, I was always a little surprised that Lord Byron, of
all people, should have put it that way:
"I know the right, and I approve it too;
Condemn the wrong--and yet the wrong pursue.
"_The_ right '--why, it is like a woman to say that. As if there were
but one 'right,' and it were dressed in purple and fine linen, and
seated on a throne in sight of the assembled multitude! '_The right._'
indeed! Yes, it sounds like a woman--and a very young woman at that,
Nellie."
The girl looked with large, troubled, passionate eyes at her friend, and
then broke out into hot, indignant words--words that would have offended
many a woman; but Florence Campbell only laughed, a light, queer little
peal; tipped her chair a trifle farther back, put her daintily slippered
feet on the satin cushion of the low window-seat, and looked at her
friend, through the gathering darkness, from under half-closed eyelids.
Presently--this woman was always deliberate in her conversation; long
silences were a part of her power in interesting and keeping the full
attention of her listeners--presently she said:
"Of course you think so. Why shouldn't you? So did I--once. And do you
know, Nellie, that sort of sentiment dies hard--_very_ hard--in a woman.
At your age--" Florence Campbell always spoke as if she were very old,
although to look at her one would say that she was not twenty-eight.
These delicately formed Dresden-china women often carry their age
with such an easy grace--it sits upon them so lightly--in spite of
ill-health, mental storms, and moral defeats, that while their more
robust sisters grow haggard and worn, and hard of feature and tone,
under weights less terrible and with feelings less intense, they keep
their grace and gentleness of tone in the teeth of every blast.
"At your age, dear, I would have scorned a woman who talked as I do now;
and more than that, I would have suspected her, as you do not suspect
me, of being a very dangerous and not unlikely a very bad person
indeed--simply from choice. While you--you generous little soul--think
that I am better than I talk."
She laughed again, and shifted her position as if she were not wholly
comfortable under the troubled gaze of the great eyes she knew were
fastened upon her.
"You think I am better than my opinions. I know exactly what you tell
yourself about me when you are having it out with yourself upstairs.
Oh, I know! You excuse me for saying this on the theory that it was not
deliberate--was an oversight. You account for that by the belief that I
am not well--my nerves are shaken. You are perfectly certain that _I_ am
all right, no matter what I do, or say, or think." She took her little
friend's soft hand as it twisted nervously a ribbon in her lap, and held
the back of it against her cheek, as she often did. "But just suppose it
were some one else--some other woman, Nellie, you would suspect her
(no doubt quite unfairly) of all the crimes in the statute-books. Oh, I
know, I know, child! I did--at your age--and, sad to relate, _I_ had no
Florence Campbell to soften my judgments on even one of my sex."
She had grown serious as she talked, and her voice almost trembled. The
instant she recognized this herself, she laughed again, and said gayly:
"Oh, I was a very severe judge--once--I do assure you, though you may
not think so now." She dropped her voice to a tone of mocking solemnity,
not uncommon with her, and added: "If you won't tell on me, I'll make a
little confession to you, dear;" and she took both of the girl's hands
firmly in her own and waited until the promise was given.
"I wouldn't have it get out for the world, but the fact is, Nell, I
sometimes strongly suspect that, at your age, I was--a most unmitigated,
self-righteous little prig."
Nellie's hands gave a disappointed little jerk: but her friend held them
firmly, laughed gayly at her discomfiture--for she recognized fully
that the girl was attuned to tragedy--buried her face in them! for an
instant, and then deliberately kissed in turn each pink little palm--not
omitting her own. Then she dropped those of her friend, and leaned back
against her cushions and sighed.
Nellie was puzzled and annoyed. She was on the verge of tears.
"Florence, darling," she said presently, "if I did not know you to be
the best woman in the world, I shouldn't know what to make of your dark
hints, and of--and of you. You are always a riddle to me--a beautiful
riddle, with a good answer, if only I could guess it. You talk like a
fiend, sometimes, and you act like--an angel, always."
"Give me up. You can't guess me. Fact is, I haven't got any answer,"
laughed Florence.
But the girl went steadily on without seeming to hear her: "Do you know,
there are times when I wonder if it would be possible to be insane and
vicious, mentally and _verbally_, as it were, and perfectly sane and
exaltedly good morally."
Florence Campbell threw herself back on her cushions and laughed gayly,
albeit a trifle hysterically. "Photograph taken by an experienced
artist!" she exclaimed. "You've hit me! Oh, you've hit me, Nell." Then
sitting suddenly bolt-upright, she looked the girl searchingly in the
face, and said slowly: "Do you know, Nellie, that I am sometimes tempted
to tell the truth? About myself, I mean--and to _you_. Never on any
other subject, nor to anybody else, of course," she added dryly, in
comedy tones, strangely contrasting with the almost tragic accents as
she went on. "But I can't. '_The_ truth!' Why, it is like _the_ right;
I'm sure I don't know what it is; and it has been so long--oh, so
cruelly long--since I told it, by word or action, that I have lost its
very likeness from my mind. I have told lies and acted lies so long--"
Her friend's eyes grew indignant and she began to protest, but Florence
ran on: "I have evaded facts--not only to others, but to myself,
until--until I'd have to swear out a search-warrant and have it served
on my mental belongings to find out myself what I _do_ think or feel or
want on any given subject."
It was characteristic of the woman to use this flippant method of
expression, even in her most intense moments.
"I change so, Nell; sometimes suddenly--all in a flash."
There was a long silence. Then she began again, quite seriously:
"There is a theory, you know, that we inherit traits and conditions from
our remote ancestors as well as from our immediate ones. I sometimes
fancy that they descend to some people with a Time Lock attachment. A
child is born"--she held out her hands as if a baby lay on them--"he
is like his mother, we will say, gentle, sweet, kind, truthful, for
years--let us say seven. Suddenly the Time Lock turns, and the traits of
his father (modified, of course, by the acquired habits of seven years)
show themselves strongly--take possession, in fact. Another seven years,
and the priggishness of a great-uncle, the stinginess of an aunt, or the
dullness, in books, of a rural grandfather. Then, in keeping with the
next two turns of the Lock, he falls in love with every new face he
sees, marries early and indulges himself recklessly in a large family.
He is an exemplary husband and father, as men go, an ideal business man,
and a general favorite in society."
She was running on now as if her words had the whip-hand of her.
"Everybody remarks upon the favorable change since his stupid, priggish
college days. All this time, through every change, he has been honorable
and upright in his dealings with his fellows. Suddenly the Time Lock
of a Thievish Ancestor is turned on; he finds temptation too strong
for even that greatly under-estimated power--the force of habit of
a lifetime--and the trust funds in his keeping disappear with him to
Canada. Everybody is surprised, shocked, pained--and he, no doubt,
more so than any one else. Emotional insanity is offered as a possible
explanation by the charitable; longheaded, calculating, intentional
rascality, by the severe or self-righteous. And he? Well, he is wholly
unable to account for it at all. He _knows_ that he had not lived all
these years as a conscious, self-controlled thief. He _knows_ that the
temptations of his past life had never before taken that particular
form. He _knows_ that the impulse was sudden, blinding, overwhelming;
but he does not know why and how. It was like an awful dream. He seemed
to be powerless to overcome it. The Time Lock had turned without his
knowledge, and in spite of himself. The unknown, unheard-of Thievish
Ancestor took possession, as it were, through force of superior strength
and ability--and then it was his hour. The hereditary shadow on the dial
had come around to him. The great-uncle's hour was past. _He_, no doubt,
was 'turned on' to some other dazed automaton--in Maine or Texas--who
had fallen heir to a drop too much of his blood, and she, poor thing, if
it happened to be a girl this time, forthwith proceeded to fall in love
with her friend's husband--seeing he was the only man at hand at the
time; while the Thievish Ancestor left--in shame and contrition--a
small but light-fingered boy in Georgia, to keep his engagement with
our respectable, highly honored, and heretofore highly honorable man of
affairs in Wall street. The Time Lock of heredity had been set for this
hour, and the machinery of circumstances oiled the wheels and silently
moved the dial." There was absolute silence when Florence Camp-bell's
voice ceased. The heavy curtains made the shadows in the struggling
moonlight deep and solemn. Two great eyes looked out into the darkness
and a shudder passed over her frame. She thought her little friend
had fallen asleep, she lay so still and quiet on the rug at her feet.
Florence sighed, and thought how quickly youth forgot its troubles and
how lightly Care sat on her throne. Then suddenly a passionate sobbing
broke the silence, and two arms, covered with lace and jewels, flung
themselves around the older woman's knees.
"O my God! Florence; O my God! is there no way to stop the wheels?
Must they go blindly on? Can we _never_ know who or what we shall be
to-morrow? It is awful, Florence, awful; and--it--is _true!_ O God! it
is _true!_"
Florence Campbell had been very serious when she stopped her little
harangue. There had been a quality in her voice which, while it was not
wholly new to her friend, _would_ have been unknown to many who thought
they knew her well. To them she was a beautiful, fashionable, rather
light woman, with a gay nature, who either did not know, or did not care
to investigate too closely, the career of her husband, to whom she was
devotedly attached.
She had been quite serious, I say, when she stopped her little
philosophical speculation; but she was greatly surprised at the storm
she had raised in the breast of her little friend.
Florence bent down quickly, and putting her arms about the girl tried to
raise her up; but she only sobbed the harder, and clung to her friend's
knees as a desperate, frightened creature might cling to its only
refuge.
"Why, Nellie, little kitten," said the older woman, using a term of
endearment common with her in talking with the girl--"why, Nellie,
little kitten, what in the world is the matter? Did I scare the life out
of you with my Time Locks and my gruesome ancestors?" and she tried to
laugh a little; but the sound of her voice was not altogether pleasant
to the ear. "I'll ring for a light. I had no business to talk such stuff
to you when you were blue and in the dark too. I guess, Nell, that the
Time Lock of _my_ remote ancestor, who was a fool, must have been turned
on me shortly after sundown to-day, don't you think?" And this time her
laugh lacked the note of bitterness it had held before.
She ran on, still caressing the weeping girl at her feet:
"Yes, undoubtedly, my Remote Ancestor--the fool--has now moved in. Do
you think you can stand seven years of him, kitten, if you live with
me that long? But you won't. You'll go and marry some horrid man, and I
shall be so jealous that my hair will curl at sight of him."
But the girl would not laugh. She refused to be cheered, nor would she
have a light. She raised herself until her head rested on her friend's
bosom, and clung to her, sobbing as if her heart would break. Florence
stroked her hair and sat silent for a while, wondering just what had
so shaken the child. She knew full well that it was _not_ what she had
hinted of the darkness and her gruesome story. Presently Nellie drew her
friend's face down, and whispered between her sobs:
"Darling, I must have had some dreadful ancestor, a wicked--_wicked_
woman. I--"
Florence Campbell shrieked with laughter. She felt relieved of--she did
not know what. She had blamed herself for even unconsciously touching
the secret spring of sorrow in the girl's heart. It was a strange
sight, the two women clinging to each other, the one sobbing, the other
laughing, each trying in vain to check the other.
At last Nellie said, still almost in a whisper: "But, Florence, you do
not know. You do not understand. You are too good to know. It is you
who will scorn and hate me when I tell you. O Florence, Florence, I
can never _dare_ to tell you!" Her friend, still laughing, made
little ejaculations of satirical import as the girl grew more and more
hysterical.
"O thou wicked wretch!" laughed she. "No doubt you've killed your man,
as they say out West. Oh, dear--oh, dear! Nell, this is really quite
delicious! Did it step on a bug? Or was it a great big spider? And does
it think it ought to be hanged for the crime? A peal of laughter from
the one, a shudder from the other, was the only reply to these efforts
to break the force of the girl's self-reproach. Florence clinched her
small fist in mock heroics and began again:
"Your crimes have found you out! And mine--_mine_--has been the avenging
hand! Really, this is too good, kitten. I shall tell, let me see--I
shall tell--_Tom!_"
The girl was on her feet in a flash.
"Not that! _not that_, Florence! Anything but that! I will tell you
myself first--_he_ shall not?" Florence grew suddenly silent and grave.
The girl slipped down at her knees again, and clasping her hand, went
hoarsely on:
"O Florence, darling, I did not mean to wrong you! Truly, truly, I did
not--and I do not believe _he_ did--not at--first. We--oh, it was--"
she sank on the floor, at the feet of her astonished friend, and with
upstretched arms in the darkness whispered: "Florence, Florence--O my
God! I _cannot_ tell you! I must go away! _I must go away!_" The older
woman did not touch the outstretched hands and they sank to the floor,
and on them rested a tear-stained, wretched face.
A moment later Tom Campbell entered the room. To eyes unaccustomed to
the darkness nothing was visible. He did not see his wife, who arose as
he entered, and stood with bated breath over the form of the girl on the
floor.
"By Jove!" he muttered, "this room is as dark as Egypt, and then
some--Wonder where Florence is. Those damned servants ought to be shot!
Whole house like a confounded coal-pit! Didn't expect me for hours yet,
I suppose! That's no reason for living like a lot of damned bats! 'Fraid
of musquitoes, I suppose. Where are those matches? _Florence!_ She's
evidently gone out--or to bed. Wonder where her little 'kitten' is?
Umm--wonder how much longer Florence means to keep her here? Don't see
how the thing's going to go on much longer this way, with a girl with a
conscience like that. Perfectly abnormal! Perfectly ridiculous! Umm--no
more tact than--"
Nellie moaned aloud. Florence had held her breath, hoping he would
go. He had almost reached the door leading to the hall, after his vain
search for matches.
"Hello! what was that?" said Campbell, turning again into the room.
His wife knew that escape was not now possible. "Nothing, Tom," she
said, in a voice that trembled a little. "Go upstairs. I will come up
soon."
"Why, hello, Florence, that you? What are you sitting here in the dark
for, all alone? Why didn't you speak to me when I came in? What did you
let me--"
Nellie sat up, and in doing so overturned a chair.
Tom's eyes had grown accustomed to the darkness. He saw the two women
outlined before him, and he saw that Nellie had been on the floor, and
that his wife stood over her.
"What's the matter?" he demanded. "What's up?"
He came toward them. Nellie sprang to her feet, with flashing eyes and
outstretched, imploring hands to wave him back. She was about to rush
into a painful explanation. Florence stepped toward her, put both arms
about her, and drew her onto the cushioned window-seat at their side.
She knew she must cover the girl's agitation from her husband, and
somehow gain time to think.
"Sit down, dear," she said softly. "Sit down here by me. You have been
asleep. He frightened you coming in so suddenly. You have been dreaming;
you talked in your sleep--but it was all nonsense--about an ancestor,
whom you blamed very bitterly."
The girl began to speak impulsively, but Florence checked her.
"Yes, I know. You told me. It was all the greatest stuff. But the part
that was true--I doubt if she was to blame. I think, from all I know
of--of her, and of the gentleman you mentioned, the one she--seemed to
care for--that--oh, no, kitten! I am _sure she_ was not to blame."
Nellie was trembling violently, clinging to her friend in shame and
remorse. Tom stood perfectly quiet in the deeper darkness, back from
the window, with a smile on his cheerful face and a puzzled light in his
handsome eyes.
"Go upstairs, Tom," said Florence again, this time in a steadier tone.
"Nellie's head aches; you waked her up too suddenly. We don't want more
light--do we, Nellie? Not just now. We have quite light enough for the
present. I assure you we are better off just now in the dark. You would
think so yourself if you could see us as we see ourselves. We are
quite battered and out at elbow, I assure you, and not at all fit for
fastidious masculine eyes."
She was pulling herself up well. "To-morrow we will spruce up our bangs,
put on fresh gowns, and not know ourselves for the wretches we are
tonight. Until then, Sir Knight, no masculine eye shall rest upon our
dilapidation. Go!"
Tom Campbell had seen his wife in this mood before. He went.
All the way upstairs he wondered what had happened. "Never could make
women out anyway," he muttered; "least of all, Florence. Women are a
queer lot. More you live with 'em, more you don't know what they'll do
next. Wonder what in thunder's up. 'Kitten' never said a word; but I'm
damned if I did't hear her groan! Guess the little goose feels kind
of--queer--with me and the old lady both present. Wonder--whew!--wonder
how much I said aloud, and how much they heard when I first went in!
Confounded habit, talking aloud to myself! Got to stop it, old boy; must
be done--get you into trouble yet!"
Then he turned off the gas, and was sleeping as peacefully as an infant
before the two women below stairs had parted for the night.
When Tom left the room, Nellie began to sob again, and Florence stroked
her hair with her icy hands and waited for the girl to speak--or grow
calm. And for herself--she hardly knew what she waited for in herself;
but she felt that she needed time.
After a long silence she said, quite gently; "Nellie, little girl, we
will go upstairs now; you will go to bed. If you ever feel like it,
after you take time to think it over, and your nerves are quiet--if
you ever feel like it, you may tell just what trick your troublesome
ancestor has tried to play you; but I want to say now, dear, don't feel
that you _must_ tell me, nor that I do not know perfectly well that
my little kitten is all right, ancestors or no ancestors, and that we,
together can somehow find the combination to that Time Lock that so
distresses you, and turn it off again. Meantime, little girl _no one_
shall harm you. You shall be let alone; you are all right! Be _sure_ of
that. I am. Now, good-night;" and she kissed the still sobbing girl on
the forehead and hands, in spite, of her protests and self-accusations.
Suddenly Nellie sank on her knees again, and grasped Florence's dress as
she had turned to go:
"O Florence! O Florence! are you human? How _can_ you? You are not like
other women! O my God! if I could only be like you; but you frighten me!
You are so calm. How cold your hands are! oh--"
"Are they? I did not notice. Oh well, no matter; it is an old trick of
theirs, you know."
Florence Campbell's voice was very steady now. Her words were slow and
deliberate--they sounded as if she was very tired; and her step, as she
climbed the stairs, had lost its spring and lightness.
The next morning Nellie's breakfast was carried to her room, with a
message from Florence not to get up until she came to her at their usual
hour for reading together.
About noon, as the girl lay thinking for the hundredth time that she
must get up and face life again--that she must somehow stop this
blinding headache, and go away--that she must die--Florence swept into
the room, trailing her soft, long gown behind her, and gently closed the
door. She had put on a gay pink tea-gown, with masses of white lace and
smart little bows in unexpected places.
"Feel better, dear?" she asked, gayly. "Griggs told me your head ached,
and that you had not slept well. I confess I did not either--not very.
Tom and I talked rather late; you know he sails for Liverpool at noon.
Sure enough, you didn't know. Well, no matter. The vessel is just about
sailing now. Yes, it is _rather_ sudden. We talked so much of it last
night that it seems quite an old story to me to-day, though. You know
he was to go in two weeks, anyway. It seemed best to go earlier, so I
helped him pack, and saw him to the steamer two hours ago. You know a
man doesn't have to take anything but a tooth-brush and a smoking-cap.
We thought it would be best for his health to go at once. Tom has not
seemed quite himself of late." She did not look at her friend as she
talked and her white face was turned from the light. She talked so fast,
it seemed as if she had rehearsed and was repeating a part with a desire
to have it over as soon as might be. "His Travelling Ancestor, the one
who wants change--change--change in all things, has had hold of him of
late. I'm sure you have noticed how restless he was."
The girl sat up and listened with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. She had
known many unexpected and unexplained things to be done in the house of
this friend, who had given her a home and a warm welcome a year before,
when she had left school, an orphan and homeless. But this sudden
departure she had not heard even mentioned before. She thought she
understood it.
"O Florence! Florence!" she cried, passionately. "It is _my_ fault! I
have separated you! I have brought sorrow to you! You, who are so good,
_so good;_ and I--oh, how _can_ you be so kind to me? _Hate_ me! _Hate
me!_ Thrust me from your house, and tell the world I tried to steal your
husband! Tell that I am vile and wicked! Tell--and now I have sent him
away from you, who love him--whom he loves! Why do you not blame me? Why
do you never blame anyone? Why--"
There was a pause; the girl sobbed bitterly, while the older woman
seemed afraid to trust her voice. After a while in a tired, solemn tone,
Nellie went on:
"Do you think you can believe a word I say, Florence? Is there any use
for me to tell you the truth?"
Her friend nodded slowly, looking her steadily in the eyes. Her lips
were tightly drawn together, and her hands were cold and trembling.
"Then, Florence, I will tell you, truly--truly--truly, as I hope for--"
She was going to say "your forgiveness," but it seemed too cruel to ask
for that just now. "I did not understand, not at first, either him or
myself. I thought he was like you"--she felt Florence shudder--"and
loved me, as he said, as you did. I was so glad and proud,
until--until--O Florence! how can I tell you that I let him _beg_ me to
go away with him! After I understood what he meant, my heart _did_ leap,
even in its utter self-abasement and wretchedness. I let him beg me
twice, and kiss me, _after_ I understood! It must have been my fault;
he said it was"--Florence took her friend's hand in hers--"and he said
that no one else had ever taken his thoughts away from you."
The girl thought she saw the drawn lips before her curl; but she must
free her whole heart now, and lay bare her very soul.
"He said that he had always been true to you, Florence, even in thought,
until I--O Florence! I must be worse than anyone one earth. I--he said--"
Florence Campbell sprang to her feet. "Yes, I know, I know!" she
exclaimed, breathlessly, "and you _believed_ him! Poor little fool!
Women do. Sometimes a second time, but not a third time, dear--not a
third time! Do not blame yourself any more." She stopped, then hurried
on as one will do when danger threatens from within. "If it had not been
you, it would, it might--my God! it might have been worse! Some poor
girl--"
She stopped again as if choking. The two women looked at each other;
the younger one gave a long, shuddering moan, and buried her face in her
hands.
Presently Florence said slowly: "All ancestors were not thieves. Some
were simply fickle, and light, and faithless."
Nellie raised a face full of passionate suffering: "Florence! Florence!
how can you excuse either of us? How _can--_"
Suddenly, with a great sob, Florence Campbell threw herself into the
girl's outstretched arms, and with a wail of utter desolation cried:
"Hush, Nellie, hush! Never speak of it again, never! Only _love_ me,
_love me--love me!_ I need it so! And _no_ one--no one in all the world
has ever loved me truly!" It was the only time Nellie ever saw Florence
Campbell lose her self-control.