DIANA'S READJUSTMENT
Diana had waited a minute or two in the motor, in order to allow time
for the entrance and seating of Mrs. Vane; also, Mr. Inglestry was to
give the signal to the musician at the organ.
Even after she had left the motor, and walked down the stone paving,
leading from Bishopsgate to the main entrance of St. Botolph's, she
paused, watching the sparrows and pigeons at the fountain, in the garden
enclosure--now very bare and leafless--opposite the church. Here she
waited until she heard the strains of organ music within. Then she
pushed open the door, and entered.
Once inside, a sudden feeling of awe and hesitancy overwhelmed Diana.
There seemed an unusual brooding sense of sanctity about this old
church. All light, which entered there, filtered devoutly through some
sacred scene, and still bore upon its beams the apostle's halo, the
Virgin's robe, or the radiance of transfiguration glory.
The shock of contrast, as Diana passed from the noise and whirl of
Bishopsgate's busy traffic into this silent waiting atmosphere of
stained glass, old oak carving, and the sheen of the distant altar, held
her senses for a moment in abeyance.
Then she took in every detail: Mr. Goldsworthy peeping from the vestry,
catching sight of her, and immediately proceeding within the communion
rails, and kneeling at the table; Mrs. Vane and Mr. Inglestry on one
side of the church; Sarah and Sir Deryck, in different pews, on the
other. Lastly, she saw David, and the place at his side which awaited
her; David, looking very slim and youthful, standing with his left hand
plunged deep into the pocket of his short coat--a boyish attitude he
often unconsciously adopted in moments of nervous strain. Slight and
boyish he looked in figure; but the intellectual strength and spiritual
power in the thin face had never been more apparent to Diana than at
this moment, as he stood with his head slightly thrown back, awaiting
her advance.
Then a complete mental readjustment came to Diana. How could she go
through with this marriage, for which she herself had worked and
schemed? It suddenly stood revealed as a thing so much more sacred, so
far more holy, so infinitely deeper in its significance, than she had
ever realised.
She knew, now, why David had felt it impossible, at first, for any
reasons save the one paramount cause--the reverent seeking of the
Church's sanction and blessing upon the union of two people who needed
one another utterly.
Had she loved David--had David loved her--she could have moved swiftly
to his side, without a shade of hesitancy.
As it was, her feet seemed to refuse to carry her one step forward.
Then Diana realised that had this ceremony been about to take place in
order that the benefits accruing to her under her uncle's will should
remain hers, she must, at that moment, have fled back to the motor,
bidding the chauffeur drive off--anywhere, anywhere--where she would
never see St. Botolph's church again, or look upon the face of David
Rivers.
But, by the happenings of the previous evening, the conditions were
changed--ah, thank God, they were changed! David still thought he was
doing this for her; but she knew she was doing it for him. He believed
he gave her all. She knew he actually gave her nothing, save this honest
desire to give her all. And, in return, she could give him much:--not
herself--_that_ he did not want--but much, oh, much!
All this passed through Diana's mind, in those few moments of paralysing
indecision, while she stood, startled and unnerved, beneath the gallery.
Then, as her eyes grew more accustomed to the dim light, David's look
reached her--reached her, and called her to his side.
And down from the organ-loft wafted the prayer for all uncertain souls:
"Lead, kindly Light, amid the encircling gloom; lead Thou--lead
Thou--lead Thou me on."
With this prayer on her lips, and her eyes held by the summons in
David's, Diana moved up the church, and took her place at his side.
No word of the service penetrated her consciousness, until she heard her
god-father's voice inquire, in confidential tones: "Who giveth this
woman to be married to this man?"
No one replied. Apparently no one took the responsibility of giving her
to David, to whom she did not really give herself. But in the silence of
the slight pause following the question, Uncle Falcon's voice said,
with startling clearness, in her ear: "_Diana--I have won_."
This inarticulate sentence seemed to Diana the clearest thing in the
whole of that service. She often wondered afterwards why all actual
spoken words had held so little conscious meaning. She could recall the
strong clasp of David's hand, and when his voice, steadfast yet quiet,
said: "I will," she looked at him and smiled; simply because his voice
seemed the only real and natural thing in the whole service.
When they walked up the chancel together, and knelt at the altar rail,
she raised her eyes to the pictured presentment of the crucified Christ;
but there was something too painful to be borne, in the agony of that
suffering form as pictured there. "Myrrh!" cried her troubled heart;
"myrrh, was _His_ final offering. Must gold and frankincense always
culminate in myrrh?"
* * * * *
In the vestry, Sir Deryck Brand was the first to offer well-expressed
congratulations. But, after the signing of the registers, as he took her
hand in his in bidding her farewell, he said with quiet emphasis: "I
have told your husband, Mrs. Rivers, that he must come home within the
year."
Diana, at a loss what to answer, turned to David.
"Do you hear that, David?"
"Yes," said David, gently; "I hear."
As they passed out together, her hand resting lightly on David's arm,
Diana looked up and saw above the organ gallery, between the golden
pipes, the beautiful stained-glass window, representing the Infant
Christ brought by His mother to the temple, and taken into the arms of
the agèd Simeon.
"Oh, look, David," whispered Diana; "I like this window better than the
others. It does not give us our Wise Men from the East, but it gives us
the new-born King. Do you see Him in the arms of Simeon?"
David lifted his eyes; and suddenly she saw the light of a great joy
dawn in them.
"Yes," he said, "yes. And do you remember what Simeon said?"
They had reached the threshold of St. Botolph's. Diana took her hand
from his coat sleeve; and, pausing a moment, looked into his face.
"What did he say, David?"
"Lord, _now_ lettest Thou Thy servant depart in peace," replied David,
quietly.
"And what have you just remembered, David, which has filled your face
with glory?"
"That this afternoon, I start for Central Africa," replied David Rivers,
as he put his bride into the motor.