HOW SHALL WE BE AMUSED

"One, two, three, four,--this makes the fifth accident on the Fourth

of July, in the two papers I have just read," said Jenny.

"A very moderate allowance," said Theophilus Thoro, "if you consider

the Fourth as a great national saturnalia, in which every boy in the

land has the privilege of doing whatever is right in his own eyes."

"The poor boys!" said Mrs. Crowfield. "All the troubles of the world

are laid at their door."

"Well," said Jenny, "they did burn the city of Portland, it appears.

The fire arose from firecrackers, thrown by boys among the shavings of

a carpenter's shop,--so says the paper."

"And," said Rudolph, "we surgeons expect a harvest of business from

the Fourth, as surely as from a battle. Certain to be woundings,

fractures, possibly amputations, following the proceedings of our

glorious festival."

"Why cannot we Americans learn to amuse ourselves peaceably like other

nations?" said Bob Stephens. "In France and Italy, the greatest

national festivals pass off without fatal accident, or danger to any

one. The fact is, in our country we have not learned _how to be

amused_. Amusement has been made of so small account in our philosophy

of life, that we are raw and unpracticed in being amused. Our

diversions, compared with those of the politer nations of Europe, are

coarse and savage,--and consist mainly in making disagreeable noises

and disturbing the peace of the community by rude uproar. The only

idea an American boy associates with the Fourth of July is that of

gunpowder in some form, and a wild liberty to fire off pistols in all

miscellaneous directions, and to throw firecrackers under the heels of

horses, and into crowds of women and children, for the fun of seeing

the stir and commotion thus produced. Now take a young Parisian boy

and give him a fete, and he conducts himself with greater gentleness

and good breeding, because he is part of a community in which the art

of amusement has been refined and perfected, so that he has a thousand

resources beyond the very obvious one of making a great banging and

disturbance.

"Yes," continued Bob Stephens, "the fact is, that our grim old Puritan

fathers set their feet down resolutely on all forms of amusement; they

would have stopped the lambs from wagging their tails, and shot the

birds for singing, if they could have had their way; and in

consequence of it, what a barren, cold, flowerless life is our New

England existence! Life is all, as Mantalini said, one 'demd horrid

grind.' 'Nothing here but working and going to church,' said the

German emigrants,--and they were about right. A French traveler, in

the year 1837, says that attending the Thursday-evening lectures and

church prayer-meetings was the only recreation of the young people of

Boston; and we can remember the time when this really was no

exaggeration. Think of that, with all the seriousness of our Boston

east winds to give it force, and fancy the provision for amusement in

our society! The consequence is, that boys who have the longing for

amusement strongest within them, and plenty of combativeness to back

it, are the standing terror of good society, and our Fourth of July is

a day of fear to all invalids and persons of delicate nervous

organization, and of real, appreciable danger of life and limb to

every one."

"Well, Robert," said my wife, "though I agree with you as to the

actual state of society in this respect, I must enter my protest

against your slur on the memory of our Pilgrim fathers."

"Yes," said Theophilus Thoro, "the New Englanders are the only people,

I believe, who take delight in vilifying their ancestry. Every young

hopeful in our day makes a target of his grandfather's gravestone, and

fires away, with great self-applause. People in general seem to like

to show that they are well-born, and come of good stock; but the young

New Englanders, many of them, appear to take pleasure in insisting

that they came of a race of narrow-minded, persecuting bigots.

"It is true, that our Puritan fathers saw not everything. They made a

state where there were no amusements, but where people could go to bed

and leave their house doors wide open all night, without a shadow of

fear or danger, as was for years the custom in all our country

villages. The fact is, that the simple early New England life, before

we began to import foreigners, realized a state of society in whose

possibility Europe would scarcely believe. If our fathers had few

amusements, they needed few. Life was too really and solidly

comfortable and happy to need much amusement.

"Look over the countries where people are most sedulously amused by

their rulers and governors. Are they not the countries where the

people are most oppressed, most unhappy in their circumstances, and

therefore in greatest need of amusement? It is the slave who dances

and sings, and why? Because he owns nothing, and can own nothing, and

may as well dance and forget the fact. But give the slave a farm of

his own, a wife of his own, and children of his own, with a

schoolhouse and a vote, and ten to one he dances no more. He needs no

amusement, because he is happy.

"The legislators of Europe wished nothing more than to bring up a

people who would be content with amusements, and not ask after their

rights or think too closely how they were governed. 'Gild the dome of

the Invalides,' was Napoleon's scornful prescription, when he heard

the Parisian population were discontented. They gilded it, and the

people forgot to talk about anything else. They were a childish race,

educated from the cradle on spectacle and show, and by the sight of

their eyes could they be governed. The people of Boston, in 1776,

could not have been managed in this way, chiefly because they were

brought up in the strict schools of the fathers."

"But don't you think," said Jenny, "that something might be added and

amended in the state of society our fathers established here in New

England? Without becoming frivolous, there might be more attention

paid to rational amusement."

"Certainly," said my wife, "the State and the Church both might take a

lesson from the providence of foreign governments, and make liberty,

to say the least, as attractive as despotism. It is a very unwise

mother that does not provide her children with playthings."

"And yet," said Bob, "the only thing that the Church has yet done is

to forbid and to frown. We have abundance of tracts against dancing,

whist-playing, ninepins, billiards, operas, theatres,--in short,

anything that young people would be apt to like. The General Assembly

of the Presbyterian Church refused to testify against slavery, because

of political diffidence, but made up for it by ordering a more

stringent crusade against dancing. The theatre and opera grow up and

exist among us like plants on the windy side of a hill, blown all awry

by a constant blast of conscientious rebuke. There is really no

amusement young people are fond of, which they do not pursue, in a

sort of defiance of the frown of the peculiarly religious world. With

all the telling of what the young shall _not_ do, there has been very

little telling what they shall do.

"The whole department of amusements--certainly one of the most

important in education--has been by the Church made a sort of outlaws'

ground, to be taken possession of and held by all sorts of spiritual

ragamuffins; and then the faults and shortcomings resulting from this

arrangement have been held up and insisted on as reasons why no

Christian should ever venture into it.

"If the Church would set herself to amuse her young folks, instead of

discussing doctrines and metaphysical hair-splitting, she would prove

herself a true mother, and not a hard-visaged stepdame. Let her keep

this department, so powerful and so difficult to manage, in what are

morally the strongest hands, instead of giving it up to the weakest.

"I think, if the different churches of a city, for example, would rent

a building where there should be a billiard-table, one or two

ninepin-alleys, a reading-room, a garden and grounds for ball playing

or innocent lounging, that they would do more to keep their young

people from the ways of sin than a Sunday-school could. Nay, more: I

would go further. I would have a portion of the building fitted up

with scenery and a stage, for the getting up of tableaux or dramatic

performances, and thus give scope for the exercise of that histrionic

talent of which there is so much lying unemployed in society.

"Young people do not like amusements any better for the wickedness

connected with them. The spectacle of a sweet little child singing

hymns, and repeating prayers, of a pious old Uncle Tom dying for his

religion, has filled theatres night after night, and proved that there

really is no need of indecent or improper plays to draw full houses.

"The things that draw young people to places of amusement are not at

first gross things. Take the most notorious public place in

Paris,--the Jardin Mabille, for instance,--and the things which give

it its first charm are all innocent and artistic. Exquisite beds of

lilies, roses, gillyflowers, lighted with jets of gas so artfully as

to make every flower translucent as a gem; fountains where the

gaslight streams out from behind misty wreaths of falling water and

calla-blossoms; sofas of velvet turf, canopied with fragrant

honeysuckle; dim bowers overarched with lilacs and roses; a

dancing-ground under trees whose branches bend with a fruitage of

many-colored lamps; enchanting music and graceful motion; in all these

there is not only no sin, but they are really beautiful and desirable;

and if they were only used on the side and in the service of virtue

and religion, if they were contrived and kept up by the guardians and

instructors of youth, instead of by those whose interest it is to

demoralize and destroy, young people would have no temptation to stray

into the haunts of vice.

"In Prussia, under the reign of Frederick William II., when one

good, hard-handed man governed the whole country like a strict

schoolmaster, the public amusements for the people were made such

as to present a model for all states. The theatres were strictly

supervised, and actors obliged to conform to the rules of decorum

and morality. The plays and performances were under the immediate

supervision of men of grave morals, who allowed nothing corrupting

to appear; and the effect of this administration and restraint is to

be seen in Berlin even to this day. The public gardens are full of

charming little resorts, where, every afternoon, for a very moderate

sum, one can have either a concert of good music, or a very fair

dramatic or operatic performance. Here whole families may be seen

enjoying together a wholesome and refreshing entertainment,--the

mother and aunts with their knitting, the baby, the children of all

ages, and the father,--their faces radiant with that mild German light

of contentment and good will which one feels to be characteristic of

the nation. When I saw these things, and thought of our own outcast,

unprovided boys and young men, haunting the streets and alleys of

cities, in places far from the companionship of mothers and

sisters, I felt as if it would be better for a nation to be brought

up by a good strict schoolmaster king than to try to be a republic."

"Yes," said I, "but the difficulty is to get the good schoolmaster

king. For one good shepherd, there are twenty who use the sheep only

for their flesh and their wool. Republics can do all that kings

can,--witness our late army and sanitary commission. Once fix the idea

thoroughly in the public mind that there ought to be as regular and

careful provision for public amusement as there is for going to church

and Sunday-school, and it will be done. Central Park in New York is a

beginning in the right direction, and Brooklyn is following the

example of her sister city. There is, moreover, an indication of the

proper spirit in the increased efforts that are made to beautify

Sunday-school rooms, and make them interesting, and to have

Sunday-school fetes and picnics,--the most harmless and commendable

way of celebrating the Fourth of July. Why should saloons and

bar-rooms be made attractive by fine paintings, choice music, flowers,

and fountains, and Sunday-school rooms be four bare walls? There are

churches whose broad aisles represent ten and twenty millions of

dollars, and whose sons and daughters are daily drawn to circuses,

operas, theatres, because they have tastes and feelings, in themselves

perfectly laudable and innocent, for the gratification of which no

provision is made in any other place."

"I know one church," said Rudolph, "whose Sunday-school room is as

beautifully adorned as any haunt of sin. There is a fountain in the

centre, which plays into a basin surrounded with shells and flowers;

it has a small organ to lead the children's voices, and the walls are

hung with oil paintings and engravings from the best masters. The

festivals of the Sabbath school, which are from time to time held in

this place, educate the taste of the children, as well as amuse them;

and, above all, they have through life the advantage of associating

with their early religious education all those ideas of taste,

elegance, and artistic culture which too often come through polluted

channels.

"When the amusement of the young shall become the care of the

experienced and the wise, and the floods of wealth that are now

rolling over and over, in silent investments, shall be put into the

form of innocent and refined pleasures for the children and youth of

the state, our national festivals may become days to be desired, and

not dreaded.

"On the Fourth of July, our city fathers do in a certain dim wise

perceive that the public owes some attempt at amusement to its

children, and they vote large sums, principally expended in

bell-ringing, cannon, and fireworks. The sidewalks are witness to the

number who fall victims to the temptations held out by grog-shops and

saloons; and the papers, for weeks after, are crowded with accounts of

accidents. Now, a yearly sum expended to keep up, and keep pure,

places of amusement which hold out no temptation to vice, but which

excel all vicious places in real beauty and attractiveness, would

greatly lessen the sum needed to be expended on any one particular

day, and would refine and prepare our people to keep holidays and

festivals appropriately."

"For my part," said Mrs. Crowfield, "I am grieved at the opprobrium

which falls on the race of _boys_. Why should the most critical era in

the life of those who are to be men, and to govern society, be passed

in a sort of outlawry,--a rude warfare with all existing institutions?

The years between ten and twenty are full of the nervous excitability

which marks the growth and maturing of the manly nature. The boy feels

wild impulses, which ought to be vented in legitimate and healthful

exercise. He wants to run, shout, wrestle, ride, row, skate; and all

these together are often not sufficient to relieve the need he feels

of throwing off the excitability that burns within.

"For the wants of this period what safe provision is made by the

church, or by the state, or any of the boy's lawful educators? In all

the Prussian schools amusements are as much a part of the regular

school system as grammar or geography. The teacher is with the boys on

the playground, and plays as heartily as any of them. The boy has his

physical wants anticipated. He is not left to fight his way, blindly

stumbling against society, but goes forward in a safe path, which his

elders and betters have marked out for him.

"In our country, the boy's career is often a series of skirmishes with

society. He wants to skate, and contrives ingeniously to dam the

course of a brook and flood a meadow which makes a splendid

skating-ground. Great is the joy for a season, and great the skating.

But the water floods the neighboring cellars. The boys are cursed

through all the moods and tenses,--boys are such a plague! The dam is

torn down with emphasis and execration. The boys, however, lie in wait

some cold night, between twelve and one, and build it up again; and

thus goes on the battle. The boys care not whose cellar they flood,

because nobody cares for their amusement. They understand themselves

to be outlaws, and take an outlaw's advantage.

"Again, the boys have their sleds; and sliding down hill is splendid

fun. But they trip up some grave citizen, who sprains his shoulder.

What is the result? Not the provision of a safe, good place, where

boys _may_ slide down hill without danger to any one, but an edict

forbidding all sliding, under penalty of fine.

"Boys want to swim: it is best they should swim; and if city fathers,

foreseeing and caring for this want, should think it worth while to

mark off some good place, and have it under such police surveillance

as to enforce decency of language and demeanor, they would prevent a

great deal that now is disagreeable in the unguided efforts of boys to

enjoy this luxury.

"It would be cheaper in the end, even if one had to build sliding-piles,

as they do in Russia, or to build skating-rinks, as they do in

Montreal,--it would be cheaper for every city, town, and village to

provide legitimate amusement for boys, under proper superintendence,

than to leave them, as they are now left, to fight their way against

society.

"In the boys' academies of our country, what provision is made for

amusement? There are stringent rules, and any number of them, to

prevent boys making any noise that may disturb the neighbors; and

generally the teacher thinks that, if he keeps the boys _still_, and

sees that they get their lessons, his duty is done. But a hundred boys

ought not to be kept still. There ought to be noise and motion among

them, in order that they may healthily survive the great changes which

nature is working within them. If they become silent, averse to

movement, fond of indoor lounging and warm rooms, they are going in

far worse ways than any amount of outward lawlessness could bring them

to.

"Smoking and yellow-covered novels are worse than any amount of

hullabaloo; and the quietest boy is often a poor, ignorant victim,

whose life is being drained out of him before it is well begun. If

mothers could only see the series of books that are sold behind

counters to boarding-school boys, whom nobody warns and nobody cares

for,--if they could see the poison, going from pillow to pillow, in

books pretending to make clear the great, sacred mysteries of our

nature, but trailing them over with the filth of utter corruption!

These horrible works are the inward and secret channel of hell, into

which a boy is thrust by the pressure of strict outward rules,

forbidding that physical and out-of-door exercise and motion to which

he ought rather to be encouraged, and even driven.

"It is melancholy to see that, while parents, teachers, and churches

make no provision for boys in the way of amusement, the world, the

flesh, and the devil are incessantly busy and active in giving it to

them. There are ninepin-alleys, with cigars and a bar. There are

billiard-saloons, with a bar, and, alas! with the occasional company

of girls who are still beautiful, but who have lost the innocence of

womanhood, while yet retaining many of its charms. There are theatres,

with a bar, and with the society of lost women. The boy comes to one

and all of these places, seeking only what is natural and proper he

should have,--what should be given him under the eye and by the care

of the Church, the school. He comes for exercise and amusement,--he

gets these, and a ticket to destruction besides,--and whose fault is

it?"

"These are the aspects of public life," said I, "which make me feel

that we never shall have a perfect state till women vote and bear rule

equally with men. State housekeeping has been, hitherto, like what any

housekeeping would be, conducted by the voice and knowledge of man

alone.

"If women had an equal voice in the management of our public money, I

have faith to believe that thousands which are now wasted in mere

political charlatanism would go to provide for the rearing of the

children of the state, male and female. My wife has spoken for the

boys; I speak for the girls also. What is provided for their physical

development and amusement? Hot, gas-lighted theatric and operatic

performances, beginning at eight, and ending at midnight; hot, crowded

parties and balls; dancing with dresses tightly laced over the

laboring lungs,--these are almost the whole story. I bless the advent

of croquet and skating. And yet the latter exercise, pursued as it

generally is, is a most terrible exposure. There is no kindly parental

provision for the poor, thoughtless, delicate young creature,--not

even the shelter of a dressing-room with a fire, at which she may warm

her numb fingers and put on her skates when she arrives on the ground,

and to which she may retreat in intervals of fatigue; so she catches

cold, and perhaps sows the seed which with air-tight stoves and other

appliances of hot-house culture may ripen into consumption.

"What provision is there for the amusement of all the shop girls,

seamstresses, factory girls, that crowd our cities? What for the

thousands of young clerks and operatives? Not long since, in a

respectable old town in New England, the body of a beautiful girl

was drawn from the river in which she had drowned herself,--a

young girl only fifteen, who came to the city, far from home and

parents, and fell a victim to the temptation which brought her to

shame and desperation. Many thus fall every year who are never

counted. They fall into the ranks of those whom the world abandons

as irreclaimable.

"Let those who have homes and every appliance to make life pass

agreeably, and who yet yawn over an unoccupied evening, fancy a lively

young girl all day cooped up at sewing in a close, ill-ventilated

room. Evening comes, and she has three times the desire for amusement

and three times the need of it that her fashionable sister has. And

where can she go? To the theatre, perhaps, with some young man as

thoughtless as herself, and more depraved; then to the bar for a glass

of wine, and another; and then, with a head swimming and turning, who

shall say where else she may be led? Past midnight and no one to look

after her,--and one night ruins her utterly and for life, and she as

yet only a child!

"John Newton had a very wise saying: 'Here is a man trying to fill a

bushel with chaff. Now if I fill it with wheat first, it is better

than to fight him.' This apothegm contains in it the whole of what I

would say on the subject of amusements."

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