_A Scene from Shakspeare._
_Enter Fluellen and Gower._
_Gow._ Nay, that's right: but why wear you your leek to day? St. David's
day is past.
_Flu_. There is occasions and causes why and wherefore in all things;
I will tell you as a friend, Captain Gower; the rascally, scauld,
beggarly, lowsie, pragging knave Pistol, which you and yourself and
all the world know to be no petter than a fellow (look you now) of no
merits; he is come to me and prings me pread and salt yesterday, look
you, and bid me eat my leek. It was in a place where I could breed no
contentions with him; but I will be so pold as to wear it in my cap,
till I see him once again; and then I will tell him a little piece of my
desires.
_Enter Pistol._
_Gow_. Why, here he comes, swelling like a Turky-cock.
_Flu._ 'Tis no matter for his swelling, nor his Turky-cocks. God plesse
you, aunchient Pistol: you scurvy, lowsie knave, God plesse you.
_Pist_. Ha! art thou bedlam? dost thou thirst, base Trojan, to have me
fold up Parca's fatal web?
Hence, I am qualmish at the smell of leek.
_Flu._ I peseech you heartily, scurvy, lowsie knave, at my desires, and
my requests, and my petitions, to eat, look you, this leek: because,
look you, you do not love it; and your affections, and your appetites,
and your digestions, does not agree with it; I would desire you to eat
it.
[Illustration: 084]
_Pist._ Not for Cadwallader and all his goats.
_Flu_. There is one goat for you, [Strikes him.] Will you be so good,
scald knave, as eat it?
_Pist_. Base Trojan, thou shalt die.
_Flu._ You say very true, scald knave, when God's will is: I will desire
you to live in the mean time and eat your victuals; come, there is sawce
for it----
[Strikes him] You call'd me yesterday, Mountain-Squire, but I will make
you to day a Squire of low degree. I pray you, fall to; if you can mock
a leek, you can eat a leek.
_Gow_. Enough, captain; you have astonish'd him.
_Flu_. I say, I will make him eat some part of my leek, or I will peat
his pate four days and four nights. Pite, I pray you; it is good for
your green wound and your ploody coxcomb.
_Pist._ Must I bite?
_Flu_. Yes, out of doubt, and out of questions too, and ambiguities.--
_Pist_. By this leek, I will most horribly revenge; I eat and swear----
_Flu_. Eat, I pray you; will you have some more sawce to your leek?
there is not enough leek to swear by. .
_Pist._ Quiet thy cudgel; thou dost see, I eat.
_Flu._ Much good do you, scald knave, heartily. Nay, pray you, throw
none away, the skin is good for your proken coxcomb: when you take
occasions to see leeks hereafter, I pray you, mock at 'em, that's all.
_Pist_. Good.
_Flu._ Ay, leeks is good; hold you, there is a groat to heal your pate.
_Pist._ Me a groat!
_Flu_. Yes, verily, and in truth, you shall take it; or I have another
leek in my pocket, which you shall eat.
_Pist._ I take thy groat in earnest of revenge.
_Flu_. If I owe you any thing, I will pay you in cudgels; you shall be a
woodmonger, and buy nothing of me but cudgels; God pe wi' you, and keep
you, and heal your pate. [Exit.]
_Pist._ All hell shall stir for this.
_Gore_. Go, go, you are a counterfeit cowardly knave: will you mock at
an antient tradition, began upon an honourable respect, and worn as
a memorable trophy of predeceased valour, and dare not avouch in your
deeds any of your words? I have seen you gleeking and galling at this
gentleman twice or thrice. You thought, because he could not speak
English in the native garb, he could not therefore handle an English
cudgel; you find it otherwise; and henceforth let a Welsh correction
teach you a good English condition: fare you well. [Exit.]
[Illustration: 086]