"When at St. Helena, I believe I informed you I went from Cardigan to
Havre-de-Grace, as a common sailor; I there determined to seek a sister,
endeared to me by misfortune as well as the ties of blood; and
accordingly directed my steps to Rennes; my whole wealth consisting in
the clothes I wore, which were those I obtained by exchange from a lad
near Harwich, and the wages arising from my voyage. This little stock,
however, was insufficient to bear my expenses, and the last day I
travelled without money or food; but hope impelled me forward, and on my
arrival at Rennes, I inquired my way to the Convent of St. Ursule. My
appearance there was too mean to gain me access to the Abbess, or even
procure me a civil answer to the question I asked, whether Louise were
living, and residing in the Convent? The portress disclaimed all
knowledge of the circumstance--or the child I alluded to, and finally
closed the grate to my face.
"Thus repulsed, I slowly turned from the gate, and directed my steps to
an humble _auberge_, where I threw myself on a bench in the yard, in a
state of mind painfully depressed. The hope I had indulged to a most
sanguine degree of finding Louise, and being acknowledged by her as a
brother, and which had cheered me on my journey, and soothed me in my
moments of sadness, was thus completely destroyed; nor had I then the
least clue to guide me to her.
"Was my sister dead? I asked myself--or had I been deceived?
"The question led to events long since past; busy memory, in vivid
colours, brought to view each circumstance which had progressively
involved me in a state of wretchedness, and made me feel with maddening
exaggeration a fate I thought unmerited. I was indeed driven by a power
I could not oppose, from kindred, friends, and fortune--a wanderer on a
foreign shore, without even the means of procuring a single meal to
satisfy the wants of nature.--The only prospect before me, was beggary!
"The idea was too much--my passions, long restrained, with a violence
not to be controlled, o'erburst the bounds of reason; franticly I called
for death; cursed the hour that gave me to the arms of my parents; and
bade the earth open and bury me for ever in her bosom!
"What inconsistencies I was guilty of, I cannot say; I was unconscious
of observation--of all around me!--and such ascendancy did my madness
at last attain, that I thought I heard the voice of my father in the
breeze, chiding me for living in a world, where I had lost every
prospect of happiness.
"The conceit led to self-destruction; and suicide instantly presented
itself to my fevered imagination, as affording the oblivion I coveted.
Wildly my eye glanced to every object, in search of some instrument
wherewith to perpetrate my design; but none presented itself. A well,
however, met my view, and, starting from my seat, I ran with an
intention of precipitating myself into it. Already had I reached the
brink, when my arm was arrested, with a violence, which not only
prevented my design, but forced me some paces back from the place of
destruction.
"The shock in some degree recalled my recollection, and, raising my
eyes, I beheld an old _religieux_, to whose timely interposition I was
indebted for preservation. The tear started to his eye, and his right
hand trembled as he grasped my arm; he gently raised his other toward
heaven, and regarded me with such a look, as struck me to the the heart;
and reproved me more forcibly, than language could have done, for my
temerity in daring to rush unsummoned into the presence of my Maker!
"The tempest of my mind ceased; but was succeeded by a horror and
remorse, I cannot attempt to describe. I passively permitted the worthy
Monk to conduct me to the seat I had quitted; where, placing himself
beside me, he hesitatingly asked, what had induced me to attempt
self-destruction?
"I would have offered an extenuation of my madness; but my words were
incoherent. He stopped me--'Suicide, my son, can admit of no
excuse!--Misfortune and sorrow attend us all, from the monarch to the
lowest mendicant; but, were the burden ten times heavier than that
inflicted, it is our duty to bear it! I saw you in the street; your
appearance bespoke distress, and I followed, for the purpose of
affording that relief, I thought you merited. The action I have
witnessed here, young man,' he continued with severity, 'I need not
comment on; your own conscience, I trust, will sufficiently speak its
enormity.'
"I could not look up--I dared not meet his penetrating eye: and shame
added an additional pang to sorrow.--He saw the struggle in my bosom,
and pity regained her influence: his voice softened--'Forgive my
harshness, youth; I ought perhaps rather to apply the balm of
consolation to a mind diseased, than by reproaches add to its malady:
but you appear faint, my child;--perhaps for want of sustenance?'--He
anxiously arose, and beckoning the host, desired him to carry some wine
and provisions into a private room; then again addressing me, proffered
his assistance to conduct me into the house.
"A false pride at first made me recoil: but the benevolence which beamed
in his eyes, as he gently drew my hand on his arm, checked the
ungrateful sentiment.
"I attended him to a room, where the humble Jean officiously spread a
table with the little dainties of the larder; but a significant glance
from my entertainer telling him his presence could be dispensed with, he
respectfully bowed and retired. The worthy Monk then pressed me to eat;
filled a glass with wine, and placed it near my plate: but all was
ineffectual; my mind, more exhausted than my body, required that support
he vainly offered to my enfeebled frame. I would in gratitude have
eaten, but nature refused her office. He looked grieved--'Your sorrows,
my son, I believe, are deeper than I at first imagined. Your looks--your
deportment, bespeak you acquainted with fairer scenes in life, as well
as with misfortune. Tell me--am I mistaken?'
"'You are not, Father,' I replied, 'and the action you lately witnessed,
may tell you those misfortunes are neither trivial nor common. I am
indeed the child of misery!'
"'Alas! my son,' he returned with a sigh, 'we view the events of life
through the glass of prejudice. When misfortunes oppress us, we look
through the magnifying end, and think our own afflictions by far the
most superior: and, by the same rule, we reverse the glass to the
distresses of others, and see them in a lessened point of view: still
judging the happiness or misery of the world by our own feelings. Yet,
true it is, that which afflicts you, might by another be disregarded;
and that which would bow another to the grave, you, perhaps, could
support with fortitude! It is the hand of a Power, which cannot err,
that dispenses our portion of good and evil to each according to his
abilities of bearing. Take religion for your staff, my son, and
integrity for your guide, and the misfortunes of the world combined, can
never crush you!'
"'Ah! Father,' I cried, 'resignation is easy in theory, to those who
have only to preach it. Sheltered yourself from misfortune, how can you
judge of that, which drove me a fugitive from hope and happiness?'
"'I can judge,' said he solemnly; 'for I have experienced sorrow; and I
preach--from my practice! Listen to my tale, young man, with attention,
and from my misfortunes learn to bear your own without repining.--
"'Monsieur La Roche, my father, was in his youth clerk to a merchant at
Nantes, and early in life married a woman in circumstances humble as his
own. I was the only fruit of that marriage, my mother dying of a
decline, a few months after my birth. My father, however, did not long
remain in a state of widowhood; for the only daughter of his master, who
had long entertained a partiality for him, inadvertently so far
discovered her sentiments, that he was emboldened to offer secret
addresses; and a private marriage soon after made him the presumptive
heir to his master. The old gentleman, who certainly had expected a more
suitable match for his daughter, was yet too doatingly fond of her, to
refuse the forgiveness she entreated: and the respectful behaviour of
my father to him, and his strict application to business, in a little
time, not only reconciled him to her imprudent choice, but raised my
father so high in his esteem, that he voluntarily took him into
partnership.
"'By my mother-in-law, who had not any children, and this worthy man, I
was ever treated with the greatest tenderness, but in less than five
years, a malignant fever broke out at Nantes, and, amongst its numerous
victims, carried the gentle Madeleine and her sire to the grave; leaving
my father, for the second time, what the world called, an inconsolable
widower. He found himself, however, master of a princely fortune; and,
in less than twelve months, surprised the world, by a third
marriage--and that with the femme-de-chambre of his late wife!
"'From that period I date the commencement of the sorrows and
misfortunes which attended me, till my head was silvered by the hand of
time!
"'Madame La Roche, my new mother-in-law, who far exceeded her
predecessors in personal attractions, soon gained a complete ascendancy
over my father: and as, in the course of three years, she presented him
with as many children, she began to regard me with an eye of jealous
hatred. This showed itself on a variety of occasions, and one day, on my
father honouring me with his notice, a thing rather unusual, she
peremptorily insisted on my being sent to a public academy. My father
yielded, and I was thus banished from home--never to be recalled!
"'At first I rejoiced at being freed from the tyranny of Madame La
Roche; but after passing three years, without once visiting the
habitation of my father, I began to think my lot peculiarly hard; till
the master informed me I was not to return till my education was
completed. This reason satisfied me, and three years more elapsed, when
I was surprised by a visit from Monsieur and Madame La Roche. My father
beheld me without emotion, and, on his wife declaring that my uncouth
appearance would disgrace the family, readily agreed to her proposal of
binding me apprentice to some reputable tradesman. I timidly expressed
my wish of being placed in his counting-house, but was refused by Madame
with a frown; and after telling me I must remain at the academy till
they had fixed on a trade suitable to my genius, they departed.
"'About three weeks after, a chaise was sent for me, in which I was
conveyed to the house of a printer, in the suburbs of Nantes, where I
was immediately settled as an apprentice for seven years.
"'There I endured every mortification, ill nature and arrogance could
inflict; heightened by the comparison of my lot to those of my brothers,
whom I frequently saw, with their mother, in all the pomp of dress and
equipage!
"'Slowly passed the time in my imagination, till I had completed the
term of my servitude: still had I indulged hopes that my father would
receive me into his house, if not as a son, at least as an assistant;
when I determined, by the most circumspect behaviour, to obliterate, if
possible, the unfavourable sentiments he entertained of me. But vain
were my hopes; my mother-in-law's influence overbalanced the weak claim
I had to his regard. When I went to his house, he was not at home, the
servant said, and I was refused admittance. I again went, and was
rudely reprimanded by the menial for being troublesome. I then wrote to
my father, urged my claim of nature, to his notice and protection, and
appealed to his heart, if any part of my conduct had given just cause
for the neglect with which I had been treated? I coveted not his wealth,
I said, but to his affection I felt I had an equal claim with his other
children.
"'This letter was answered by Madame La Roche. She coolly denied the
justness of my claim, by reminding me I had never been regarded as one
of the family: however, as she acknowledged I had some small demand on
their notice, she remitted me a draft for two thousand livres; a sum
sufficient, she said, to establish me respectably: and to my own
diligence I must look for future supplies. My father added a postscript,
to confirm the decree of his wife, and advised my proceeding to Paris,
as a place where industry was most likely to be rewarded.
"'A tear of wounded sensibility forced its way down my cheek, at this
final act and renunciation of my father: I, however, determined to show
my obedience to his will, cruel as it was, and, accordingly, a few days
after receiving my small fortune, set out for Paris, having been
previously refused the liberty of writing to him.
"'On my arrival at Paris, I determined to engage as a journeyman to some
master, till I should meet with a situation to my satisfaction; and not,
by plunging into business without friends or connexions, with so small a
principal, hazard what might terminate in my ruin.
"'With a printer in the Fauxbourg St. Germain, I engaged, and passed
three years in that humble station, when I married an amiable woman, who
declared herself willing to share the frowns or smiles of fortune with
me; and for two years experienced a happiness interrupted only by the
remembrance of my father.
"'A smiling infant crowned our love. Fortune, too, assumed a fairer
aspect. My master retired from business; and, though it required a
larger capital than I possessed, I ventured to take it, relying on my
own application to clear the debt I incurred.
"'But, alas! weak man!--I read not the volume of my fate: I dreaded not
the wretchedness which in that hour of fancied prosperity awaited me!
"'Cheerfully I paid my little fortune into the hands of my master, and
gave him my bond for the residue of the debt. But scarcely had we been
settled in our new habitation a week, when, in the night, I was roused
from a peaceful slumber by the alarm of fire! I instantly awoke my wife,
and, starting from the bed, ran to the staircase,--but, alas! it was in
flames! I then hastened to the window, and called for assistance, but
its situation was too obscure to gain me notice; and my voice was
unheard amidst the noise and confusion which reigned in the street,
where all were assiduous to assist and save an opulent family, whose
house adjoined mine, and where the fire, I believe, originally began. In
this distressing situation, we remained, nearly suffocated with smoke,
till the flames began to appear through the floor of the room:--not
another moment, I found, was to be lost:--I clasped my infant daughter
to my bosom, and, springing on the frame of the window, bade my wife
trust herself to my arms, and, by throwing ourselves into the street,
either be saved or perish together! She approached--the height appalled
her--she drew back--hesitated--the floor gave way, and she sunk to a
grave--horrid as inevitable!
"'The flames raged around me with the maddest fury, and, unable to
withstand their force, I gave a groan of anguish to the fate of my
wretched wife, and threw myself from the window. I fell unnoticed: two
of my ribs and my arm were broken, and my hapless infant killed on the
spot: but oblivion drew her veil over my senses, and for some hours
kindly saved me from the knowledge of my misery. I was at last
discovered; and, as I was afterwards informed, carried to several houses
in the neighbourhood, but no one had charity sufficient to receive me.
I was therefore conveyed to an hospital, where proper means were used
for my restoration; but the last shriek of my wife still vibrated in my
ears: her last look, with all its horrors, still pierced my heart: the
innocent pressure of my infant to my bosom--all combined to tear reason
from her seat. My fractures were healed, and I was removed from the
hospital to a madhouse.'
"The worthy Monk," said Sir Henry, "here paused, whilst a tear unbidden
forced its way from his eye. I attempted not to speak: my faculties,
indeed, were suspended by his tale; and I still regarded him with a look
of silent attention, sufficiently expressive, I believe, of the
commiseration and curiosity I felt, and which had, for the time, wholly
banished my own afflictions from my mind.
"His voice soon regained its wonted tone, when he thus continued the
relation of his misfortunes.
"'It was three years before my senses regained their usual tenour; when
I was permitted to enter on the world to seek subsistence. The accidents
I had met with, I thought might authorise an application to my father. I
accordingly wrote; but he was dead, and his fortune wholly settled on my
brothers and Madame La Roche! She condescended to inform me of these
particulars, and testified her surprise at my application, after the
liberal provision formerly bestowed on me, which, she said, if I had
either squandered or lost, I must answer to myself, as she should by no
means injure her fortune to re-establish mine.
"'I gave a tear to the memory of my father, which, however neglectful he
had been of my welfare, I still held sacred. To my lot of poverty I
submitted with feelings of mingled regret and resignation; and once more
sought employment as a journeyman. But sorrow had robbed me of my
vivacity; my mind had been deranged; some believed it so still; few
cared to trust me; and fewer to employ, or pay me for my labour. At
last, unable to bear the penury which threatened me, I left Paris: and,
after unsuccessful applications for employ, in various places, I was
received on moderate wages by a printer at St. Malo's. I there by
degrees recovered my health and spirits, and served my master with such
attention and diligence, that, at the end of five years, he agreed to
admit me as a partner in his business, allowing me a small share of the
profits, independently of my salary. Here then fortune once more began
to smile, and for four years rewarded my assiduity with success.
"'At that time my master consented to take me into equal partnership;
and I was on the point of marriage with a young lady of small fortune;
when one evening, as I was returning home, I was accosted by a
countrywoman with an infant, who earnestly entreated I would direct her
the road to Rennes. I gave her the information she wanted, but observed
it was too late for her to think of prosecuting her journey; and as she
declared herself a stranger, offered to conduct her to a house of honest
repute, where she might pass the night. She thanked me, and as she
appeared much fatigued, I took the child in my arms and carried it. Some
idle chat with the hostess and herself, when I had seen her accommodated
to her satisfaction, detained me nearly an hour, when I returned home,
little suspecting an action so trivial and innocent, would be the means
of involving me again in trouble.
"'The next day, on visiting my intended bride, I was received with a
reserve I could not account for; thinking, however, some occurrence,
unconnected with me, might have occasioned a dissatisfaction as apparent
as unusual, I concealed my observation of it; but, in the evening, on
repeating my visit, her coldness had so far increased, that I could no
longer refrain from asking an explanation: and was answered, by an
accusation of an illicit connexion with the woman I had the preceding
evening conducted to the auberge. My surprise at this unexpected charge,
she construed into a confirmation of my guilt, and declared her
resolution of instantly breaking off an acquaintance with a man, who had
so wantonly deceived her. In vain I affirmed my innocence; related my
accidental meeting with the woman, and appealed to her evidence for the
truth of my assertion; but, with a look of reproachful triumph, as
detecting my falsehood, she told me, the servant had seen me enter the
auberge with my infant charge and its worthless mother; and on informing
her, she herself went and questioned the woman concerning the nature of
our acquaintance: and her answers, ambiguous as they were, were yet
sufficient to condemn me. That she had at first declared herself a
native of the place; then again, that she was a stranger, and unknown.
That the child was hers--then, that she was only hired to take it from
its mother.--Of its father, she would not give any account, but its
likeness to me sufficiently proved that father to be myself! In vain I
strove to reason--to rally her from an opinion so absurdly founded; she
resented my justification, as an additional insult. Finding the foolish
dispute likely to terminate too seriously, I at last insisted on the
woman being sent for, and made to acknowledge to whom it was, the child
belonged. Antoinette scornfully smiled at what she termed my artful
subterfuge, as the woman, she said, had no doubt received her lesson. I
could not conceal my vexation at this additional charge; but, however,
sent for the peasant. She had left the town: I dispatched a person
after her, on the road to Rennes: but her steps were not to be traced;
and I remained stigmatised as an unprincipled debauchee, by the unjust
suspicions of my mistress, and the tattling hostess.
"'Antoinette truly kept her word, in ceasing to admit of my addresses,
and my master, to whom she was related, incensed at the breaking-off of
the marriage, not only refused to fulfil his intentions in my favour,
but dissolved our partnership, and dismissed me from his service!
"'At that time I entertained not the idea, but subsequent occurrences
induce me to believe, that Antoinette was actuated by other motives
than jealousy, for her conduct; as she soon after accepted the hand of a
man, by far my junior, and in more affluent circumstances.
"'This, however, was but the commencement of my difficulties; for,
whilst I was endeavouring to clear myself to my irritated master, a
person inquired for me. On being admitted, he informed me, that Monsieur
Orfevre, my former master in Paris, was dead; and that on examining his
papers, a bond was found for two thousand livres, due from me, for the
stock unfortunately consumed by fire. That his nephew, who succeeded to
his property, understanding that I was in circumstances sufficiently
affluent to discharge the obligation, had deputed him to receive the
money.
"'The justness of the debt I attempted not to deny; yet, reflecting on
the promise of the deceased, (which I declared), of expunging it, on
account of my misfortune, I hesitated to pay the demand. The officer,
for such he proved to be, coolly answered, if such had been the
intentions of Monsieur Orfevre, he would undoubtedly have mentioned it
in his will, or have destroyed the bond; and on my master saying I was
capable of paying the debt, he immediately arrested me!
"'Thus compelled, I paid the money; which, by dint of the strictest
frugality, I had accumulated, and found myself once more in the world,
poor and friendless! I endeavoured to submit with patience to my lot;
but injudiciously entered into business, without the means of pursuing
it. This was regarded as an avowed opposition to my master, who highly
resented the action; and as his interest and connexions were great, my
exertions were rendered abortive. For two years I struggled for
support--for bread; when my creditors finding me unable to satisfy their
demands, completed my ruin by throwing me into prison.
"'At first the gloomy horrors of the place, the misery of its inmates,
deeply affected my mind, and each hour the sigh of sorrow swelled my
bosom; till religion opened to my soul that source of comfort which can
never fail; my prison lost its horrors, peace shed her gentlest
influence on my slumbers, and marked my days with serenity: my brow lost
its contraction, and my heart expanded, and bowed before the wisdom of
my God! Contentedly I passed the day, in such work as the charity of a
few individuals afforded me; by which means, I not only acquired
sufficient to procure me what comforts my situation would admit of, but
likewise to assist those more helpless than myself.
"'Thus passed fourteen years of my existence, when an English gentleman,
actuated by curiosity, came to the prison. He saw--conversed with me;
and at last inquired on what account I was confined? I told him, and the
years I had been immured. He regarded me, as I spoke, with a look of the
gentlest pity: the half-formed answer hung on his lips, but turning from
me, he hastily left the prison.--In less than an hour, an order came for
my enlargement! Scarcely could I credit the gaoler's assertion, that I
was at liberty; yet, though weaned from the world, the thoughts of once
more becoming an active member in it, made the tide of life, which had
been wont to flow calmly through its channels, rush with reanimated
force, and each pulse to beat with redoubled vigour. I raised my heart
in thankfulness to God--I blessed the generous Corbet, and on the doors
of the prison being opened to me, hastened to the hotel where he was. I
was instantly shown to the room where he was sitting, with his lady; but
such were my emotions, I could not return the thanks my heart dictated:
I attempted to speak--and burst into tears! My benefactor instantly
arose, and conducted me to a seat, and after pressing me to partake of
refreshments, requested to be informed by what circumstances I had
incurred the debt, for which I had so long suffered confinement. I
instantly complied, and gave him a concise relation of my life: when I
recounted my meeting with the peasant woman, the emotions of my auditors
were too apparent to escape observation, and the words, 'Poor Louise!'
faintly murmured by Sir Henry, (for so was my benefactor called), induce
me to believe they were the parents of that infant.
"'Fearful of intruding, when I had concluded, I arose to depart; and Sir
Henry, presenting me a small packet, said--'Oblige me, Monsieur La
Roche, by accepting this trifle; little should I evince myself a friend,
by leaving you exposed to indigence, or the fate from which I so lately
rescued you. From the misfortunes you have experienced in your native
land, you perhaps would feel little repugnance in quitting it; and I
should advise you to seek a situation in the Eastern or Western
settlements, where fortune yet may make you amends for your former
losses.
"'Oppressed as I was by his late beneficence, I for a moment hesitated
to receive this additional proof of his friendship, but the glance of
his eye, beaming with benevolence, more than his words, urged my
acceptance. I readily promised to follow his advice, and in language
scarcely coherent, was endeavouring to express my gratitude, when the
master of the packet came to inform them all was prepared for their
departure for England. Sir Henry instantly arose, and presenting his
hand to his fair companion, bade me a cordial and a last adieu. I
followed at a humble distance, willing to retain a last view of a man I
thought an honour to human nature. I saw them embark, and watched the
vessel till they retired from the deck, when I slowly retraced my way
into town. On examining the contents of my packet, I found in it, to the
amount of a thousand crowns; a sum so far exceeding my expectation, I at
first nearly doubted its reality: the sight of Antoinette and her
husband, however, convinced me my senses retained their perfect powers;
and as their appearance recalled ideas far from pleasing, I determined
to quit St. Malo's that very evening. The few necessaries I wanted, were
soon procured, and I set out towards L'Orient, intending to embark in
some vessel for Madagascar or Pondicherry.
"'As I drew near L'Orient, however, I experienced a wish to take a last
farewell of the place where I first drew breath; and therefore directed
my steps to Nantes. I there visited every place I remembered as pleasing
to my childhood; and having passed some hours greatly to my
satisfaction, went to an hotel, where I inquired after my brothers, and
my father's widow. Madame La Roche, the host informed me, had been dead
some years, and her eldest son, to whom she left the principal part of
her property, lived long enough to squander it, with that left him by my
father, and died in consequence of his debaucheries. Her second son, a
man of the fairest character and honour, and who had been brought up to
the mercantile business, was lost about two years preceding my inquiry,
in returning from America. The youngest, who had succeeded to his
property, was the only one left of her descendants; and he had been
thrown from his horse a few days before, and was so severely hurt, that
the most serious apprehensions were entertained for his life.
"'I could not, unmoved, hear this account of my only relation; in that
hour of affliction, I longed to claim the privilege of a brother; to
minister to his wants, to speak the words of comfort, and soothe the
anguish of a sick bed.--I at last determined to write: my advances
might, perhaps, be rejected with disdain; but I should nevertheless, I
thought, feel a satisfaction from the consciousness of having performed
a duty. I accordingly wrote: but, contrary to my expectation, in less
than an hour, my brother's chariot drove to the hotel, and the servants
with the utmost obsequiousness, requested my presence immediately, at
the house of their master. I went--and found my brother, as I expected,
confined to his bed; a smile of satisfaction enlivened his manly
features at my approach; for my resemblance to my father convinced him I
was not an impostor. He immediately ordered his servants to pay the same
deference to me, as to himself; and at his request I related my past
misfortunes, the reason which brought me to Nantes, and my future
prospects.
"'He heard me with attention, but strenuously opposed my leaving the
kingdom--'If I live, Hilaire,' he said, 'you shall share my fortune: if
I die--none but yourself shall inherit it.'
"'As I saw he wished it, I readily promised to remain with him; and from
that day my time and attention were employed to effect his restoration:
but my efforts, and those of the faculty, were equally ineffectual; he
died in my arms, resigned and serene, leaving me, as he had promised,
the undivided heir of his possessions.
"'I felt the loss of my brother more severely than might have been
expected from the little time he had been known to me; but the tie of
nature, never before indulged, joined to the lively regard he evinced
for me, made me regret him as the dearest of friends: and as he had left
me wealth beyond my wishes, I relinquished my intention of quitting
France, and determined to dedicate the residue of my days to the service
of my God, and the assistance of my fellow-creatures. In the course of
settling my affairs, I came to Rennes, and here meeting with a companion
of my boyish days, who had become a Benedictine, I determined to enter
into the same brotherhood; and as soon as I had fully withdrawn my money
from business, after vainly endeavouring to discover the generous
Corbet, to repay my debt of gratitude, here took the cowl. Half my
property I settled on the Convent, reserving the other at my own
disposal, to relieve those I thought deserving my assistance.
"'And here, young man, I have experienced a foretaste of that happiness
I hope to enjoy hereafter. I look forward with hope, I can look back
without regret: I have experienced misfortunes, but never was guilty of
an action, that can justly raise the blush of shame on my cheek!'"