In view of the theory developed by the Ministry of Reconstruction's
Sub-Committee on Organisation and Conditions of Domestic Service,
that "the attitude adopted by the Press and the Stage is usually an
unfortunate one, as servants are frequently represented as comic or
flippant characters, and are held up to ridicule," a meeting of our
leading dramatists was hastily convened last evening by Lady
HEADFORT (who, it will be remembered, is all for calling her maids
"Home-birds") to engage their sympathetic co-operation in aid of
mistresses, housekeepers and employers generally. What the stage
has taken away the stage must give back: that is Lady HEADFORT'S
contention. Not that the domestic problem will even then be settled;
there will probably still be difficulty in persuading W.A.A.C.s and
Land Women and Munitioners who have tasted blood to descend below
stairs again; but perhaps a little help will be forthcoming. Hence
this influential gathering.
Sir SQUIRE BANCROFT, who presided, said that the domestic problem
was one of great seriousness. Personally he rarely descended to the
servants' hall, but he did not pretend to be unaware of the usefulness
of such regions and of our dependence upon them. There must be give
and take. If the stage had been guilty of too much levity in its
portraiture of domestic servants, then, in the interests of all of us,
it must make what our lively neighbours call the _amende honorable_.
Sir JAMES BARRIE said that no one could hold him personally to blame.
His plays had always exhibited domestic servants in a most favourable
light. Not only was a butler the hero of _The Admirable Crichton_, a
maidservant the heroine of _A Kiss for Cinderella_ and a charwoman the
heroine of _The Old Lady Shows Her Medals_, but the actual authorship
of _Peter Pan_ was given to the smallest nursemaid on record.
Mr. SOMERSET MAUGHAM also claimed to be on the side of the home-birds.
Had he not in _Smith_ written a part of strong parlour-maid interest
for Miss MARIE LÖHR?
Mr. G.B. SHAW said that there was no need for the meeting at all,
because he was just putting the finishing touches to a witty drama
which would settle the whole question. In this play, which, he could
tell them on the best authority in the world, his own, was a work of
surpassing genius, the Irish Question, which had baffled statesmen and
philosophers for centuries, is settled once and for all by the wisdom
and presence of mind of a Kerry kitchenmaid.
The Chairman said that perhaps the meeting might as well proceed with
its discussion, since there was always the possibility that the run
of Mr. SHAW'S play might not equal that of his last, which, he
understood, had just been produced in New York and had come off almost
at once.
Mr. HENRY ARTHUR JONES said that if any branch of art could effect
social transformations it was the drama. Personally he looked upon the
stage as only one degree less powerful than the Senate and vastly more
serious than the Church. Its first duty was to instruct, elevate and
reform; to amuse was never its true function. Hence, if the dramatists
of the country cared to take up the task of remedying the servant
shortage, the matter would be quickly settled. But only, added the
speaker with extreme gravity, if the authors of the pernicious rubbish
known as _revue_ were first gagged and bound.
Mr. MAX PEMBERTON said that, although he had given up _revue_ writing
in favour of transforming farcical plays, he felt that he might make
an appeal to the authors of _revue_ (who often exceeded the audience
in number) to join in this very laudable campaign. Speaking as one of
the two-and-twenty Hippodromios, although no longer in that capacity,
he would appeal to his successors to paint life below stairs in such
resplendent hues that the desire instantly to take service would be
implanted in every female bosom.
Mr. ALFRED SUTRO, speaking at the moment not so much as a dramatist as
a man without a cook, said that he agreed heartily with the sentiments
of the gentleman who had just sat down.
Sir ARTHUR WING PINERO said that he was always willing to help worthy
causes and was as ready to write a play for the object in view as, not
long since, he had been to write one to encourage economy. But it was
useless unless the company chosen would co-operate. The dramatist did
not stand alone. So long as the ordinary stage idea of a parlourmaid
was a saucy nymph with a feather brush and very short skirts, so long
would dramatists strive in vain to exalt her calling. He was prepared
to do his best, but feared that the actors' traditions would prove too
strong.
Mr. WALTER MELVILLE said that he hoped nothing would be done to tamper
with such traditions as Sir ARTHUR complained of. It was the duty of a
stage servant to begin plays and to be funny. The curtain of a farce
should rise on a butler and a parlourmaid remarking on the fact that
master was suspiciously late last night; and the butler should be
amorous, bibulous and peculative, and the parlourmaid coy and trim.
Similarly, footmen should be haughty and drop their aitches, cooks
short-tempered, red and fat, and office-boys knowing and cheeky. The
public expected it, and the public ought to have it because the public
paid.
There being no further remarks, the meeting dispersed, the various
speakers returning sadly home to perform the household duties.
* * * * *
"EX-KAISER TO PAP THE PENALTY."
_Sunday Paper_.
We always feared he would get off with a soft punishment.
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[Illustration:_Docker_ (_by way of concluding a heated argument with
Scotsman_). "WELL, GO UP THERE, THEN, AN' TALK TO YOUR BLINKIN'
SCOTCH PALS."]
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