+I. The apostle remembered his past sins.+--Wherever there is a
quickened conscience, it will prompt the possessor to think of his
past sins, and this even when he has reason to believe that they have
been forgiven. The apostle continued to remember the natural and
deeply seated pride and self-righteousness which he had so long
cherished. Allusion is made in every one of his public apologies and
in a number of his epistles to the circumstance of his once having
been an enemy of the cross of Christ and a persecutor. It is for the
benefit of the believer to remember his past sinfulness. The
recollection of his infirmities may enable him to guard against their
recurrence. Our sins, even when past and forgiven, are apt to leave a
prejudicial influence behind. Our sins are like wounds, which even
when cured and closed are apt to leave a scar behind. It is most meet
and becoming, and in every respect for his own profit and the
advantage of the Church and world, that the sinner, and more
particularly the man whose former life has been known, should walk
humbly before God and his fellow-men all the days of his life. Nor
let it be forgotten that the remembrance of past sin is one of the
motives impelling the Christian to be "zealously affected in every
good thing." The remembrance of the injury he had done to the Church
stimulated him to make greater endeavours to benefit it. The
persecution which he had inflicted on others made him more steadfast
in bearing the sufferings to which he was now exposed. According to
the account handed down from the early Church, the apostle had to
suffer a violent death in the reign of Nero, when Christians were
covered with pitch and burned as torches, or clothed with the skins
of wild beasts and dogs let loose upon them. We can conceive that as
he saw the terrible preparations for putting him to death, his memory
would go back thirty years, and he would remember how he himself had
stood by and consented to the death of the holy martyr Stephen, and
he would feel himself thereby the more strengthened to endure what
the Lord was now pleased to lay upon him.
+II. The apostle mourned over the sin yet cleaving to him.+--He had
not only a recollection of past sin, he had a sense of present sin.
This sense of indwelling sin is one of the elements that conduce to
the onward progress of the believer. Why is it that so many
professing Christians, ay, and too many true Christians, are not
advancing in the spiritual life; are the same this week as they were
the previous week; the same this year as they were the last year; and
to all appearance, and unless God arouse them, will be the same the
next week or next year as they are this? It is because they are
contented with themselves and with their condition, they have reached
a state of self-complacency, they have "settled upon their lees," and
they do not wish to be disturbed by so much as an allusion to their
sin. Very different was the temper of the apostle. Conscious of the
sin that still adhered to him, he longed to have it completely
exterminated, and sought the heavenly aid which might enable him to
reach that after which he was always striving--"unto a perfect man,
unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ."
+III. The apostle acknowledged God to be the Author of all the gifts
and graces possessed by him.+--Paul on more than one occasion found
it necessary to speak of his gifts. And when he follows this train of
reflection, he arrests himself to explain that his faults are his
own, and to ascribe the glory of his gifts to God. There may be
circumstances requiring us to speak of our attainments in the
spiritual life; but there can be no excuse for our thinking of them
or alluding to them in a spirit of complacency. Of all pride,
spiritual pride is the most hateful, and the most lamentably
inconsistent. How often does it happen that, when persons are
suddenly elevated to places of honour, they see nothing but their own
merits, their own talent, their own skill or good management?
Elevation of rank thus leads in too many cases to an increase of
pride and vanity. This is painfully illustrated in the history of
Saul, the son of Kish. Setting out in search of his father's asses,
he received before he returned a kingdom for the discharge of the
offices of which he had many qualifications. But his rise seems to
have fostered the morbid vanity of his mind; and when this was not
fed by constant incense, when the Israelites cried: "Saul hath slain
his thousands, and David his tens of thousands," it led to envy and
revenge, which goaded him on to deeds of utter infatuation. How
different with Saul of Tarsus! At every step of his elevation in the
Church he saw the finger of God, and was the more impressed with his
own unworthiness.
+IV. The apostle took a high standard of excellence: he took as his
model the law of God and the character of Jesus.+--All actual
excellence, whether earthly or spiritual, has been attained by the
mind keeping before it and dwelling upon the ideas of the great, the
good, the beautiful, the grand, the perfect. The tradesman and
mechanic reach the highest eminence by never allowing themselves to
rest till they can produce the most finished specimens of their
particular craft. The painter and sculptor travel to distant lands
that they may see and as it were fill their eye and mind with the
sight of the most beautiful models of their arts. Poets have had
their yet undiscovered genius awakened into life as they contemplated
some of the grandest of nature's scenes; or as they listened to the
strains of other poets the spirit of inspiration has descended upon
them, as the spirit of inspiration descended on Elisha while the
minstrel played before him. The soldier's spirit has been aroused
even more by the stirring sound of the war-trumpet than by the record
of the courage and heroism of other warriors. The fervour of one
patriot has been created as he listened to the burning words of
another patriot; and many a martyr's zeal has been kindled at the
funeral pile of other martyrs. In this way fathers have handed down
their virtues to their children, and those who could leave their
offspring no other have in their example left them the very richest
legacy; and the deeds of those who perform great achievements have
lived far longer than those who do them, and have gone down from one
generation to another. Now the believer has such a model set before
him in the character of Jesus, which as it were embodies the law and
exhibits in it the most attractive and encouraging light. We may copy
others in some things; we should copy Christ in all.--_Dr. J. McCosh._