_More than one Surprise._
I should deeply regret, if any thing I have said of myself should
dispose my readers to think me a censorious Ass; nay, it would vex me
if I thought any one could justly accuse me of caprice. Yet, I know not
how far I shall stand acquitted to the juvenile world, when I declare,
that in less than a week after my arrival at Kensington, my renovated
health and improved spirits, by leading me to look out of myself,
presented objects which called forth my disapprobation, and exceedingly
offended my ideas of propriety. It may be argued, that having
associated, with the Carter family and other Westminster gentry, I
ought to have been lenient towards less conspicuous personages. Allow
me to say, that in proportion as people are removed from the more
immediate pressure of poverty, we expect to see some of that gratitude,
those attentions to the wants of others, which make prosperity doubly
valuable. My mistress was what is called a hard-working woman, viz.
she employed a number of hands, and in order not to lose money, made
no difference between Sunday and other days. Though she paid her
assistants regularly, it was always at a lower rate than others paid;
and such was her fear of being cheated, I really think she was more
miserable while gaining money, than thousands who are in actual want of
a shilling. I soon learned, it was to her taste for bargains I owed my
station in her family: consequently, my increasing strength was matter
of triumph to one who placed all to the account of her own foresight,
rather than the real cause. I could not respect this woman: she had
not an atom of sympathy in her nature. And though I fed well, I did
not feel in the smallest degree, indebted to her care; the season was
luxuriant, and the field in which I resided was not her entire property.
The Donkey of a neighbour shared my pasturage; a circumstance which
helped to restore me to cheerfulness. He was intelligent and amusing,
and used to relate the occurrences of each day as they arose. His
immediate employment was that of carrying goods for a small grocer.
It was from him I learned the character of Mrs. Dawes. Once put upon
one’s guard, every thing tends to confirm or controvert our suspicions.
I was soon convinced he was right. If my mistress was called away for
half an hour, her poor servants took a little respite, or enjoyed a
laugh amongst themselves; for I should have told you, Mrs. Dawes was
an enemy to mirth in every shape. I used to watch these poor labourers
with lively emotion, and often as I stood gazing at them, have I
heard them say, They worked harder than horses, but never could give
satisfaction to their employer. My own fate compared with these women’s
was bliss; in fact, there were only three days in the week in which my
services were required; and though my knees never acquired their former
strength, I was then fully able to get through my appointed duties.
The natural character of any animal is frequently obscured by the
circumstances of situation; the creature himself often doubting whether
he has not mistaken his own feelings and tastes.
Poverty and low life had given me this sort of impression. I had
sedulously avoided the contamination too often produced by “evil
communication,” but with that ennui inseparable from an English
Ass, believed it impossible I could ever be cheerful again. Vivacity
was certainly a striking feature in my character; it must have been
a radical quality in my disposition,--for neither broken knees nor
past experience could teach me to be grave when I felt myself equal
to a frolic. One sunny morning, perceiving the drying ground full of
linen, whose whiteness almost dazzled the sight, I walked round the
field admiring the regularity of the lines; on a nearer approach, I
observed that some of the articles were of an immense size, suspended
over two lines, forming beautiful avenues beneath. The whim seized me,
that I should like to walk in these lovely alcoves: when, opposing my
shoulders to some weak palings, they gave way and in I marched. Nothing
could exceed my delight on finding myself enclosed within these tents;
I wandered from one path to another, snuffing the freshness of the gale
which gently wafted my covering to and fro, when a screaming amongst
the women startled me. I stood transfixed, hoping I was screened from
detection, and not quite certain that my vagary had caused their
alarm. Could any thing be more silly than my conduct? I forgot that
my legs were exposed to view; and not until I was compelled to exert
them in running from my assailants did I discover my error. Perhaps a
more laughable scene has seldom been witnessed. Figure to yourselves
half-a-dozen women armed with mops, clothes-sticks and wet linen, and
think you behold me, running up one path and down another, the women
laughing all the time as though they enjoyed this part of the frolic as
much as I had done the former. In the midst of our contest Mrs. Dawes
returned from an errand. Her voice struck terror into the cheerful
group; each was accused of having left the gate open. I grieved at
this, and making a sudden spring rushed through another part of the
palings, effecting my escape, but at the expense of my poor knees,
which were again seriously injured. Mrs. Dawes followed, and reviling
me as a mischievous brute, gave me some severe blows with one of the
broken palings. Resistance was out of my power--I could scarcely stand;
and indeed such was my consciousness on this occasion, I almost thought
I deserved the chastisement she inflicted on me.
There was nothing miserly in the blows of this lady: she dealt them
most liberally, I assure you. But when I heard her say, “all the
bed-furniture must be re-washed,” I cannot describe my regrets. It was
in vain the women examined and declared they were not in the least
soiled--she would be obeyed. This tyranny completely disgusted me; and
I believe I should have taken a resolution never again to indulge in
a frolic, however innocent, had not Mrs. Dawes received a letter which
caused her immediate departure for Town. The women took advantage of
this, and she had scarcely left the house, when the curtains were
replaced on the lines. I had now leisure to think of the consequences
of my folly. My lameness was really very painful: ah! how I dreaded the
idea of dragging a load; convinced as I was, that my mistress would not
fail to reproach me, if I experienced not more lively proofs of her
temper.
My mode of life at this period might be called purely domestic--I
saw so much of the household arrangements, and was constantly within
hearing of its concerns. Task-masters and mistresses owe little to the
zeal of their slaves; and though in this happy country the whip is
reserved for unfortunate quadrupeds, the tongue, that goading weapon
(when unfeelingly exercised,) though it enforces obedience never claims
esteem.
The character of Mrs. Dawes was now severely handled by her assistants.
I had heard an old adage, viz. “When the cat’s away, the mice will
play.” “I must just run and see if my boys are come from school,” said
one of the women; “and I,” said another, “must tell the baker to save
me a stale loaf:” to be brief, all, save one woman, departed.
This was undoubtedly wrong; but there was some apology for these
persons, inasmuch, as I have good reason for thinking they were
actually employed as they said. I stood looking at the chasm I had
made in the palings, when I saw a man enter the drying-ground: he
walked upon tip-toe, and began to clear the lines. I thought this
good-natured, being always pleased to see women spared unnecessary
fatigue. An enthusiastic Donkey, like other animals of a similar
description, is apt to evince its approbation in some way or
other. I thought I could do no less than regard this kind stranger
attentively: I dare say there was a strong expression of sensibility
in my countenance at the moment. I wished to catch his eye, not in
the vain hope of exciting his sympathy--that I positively deny: no,
it was a simple tribute of silent admiration I intended to bestow
on him. I ran forward--he started a few paces--then turning, with a
ferocious grin menaced me, but it was by action only. Conceive my
dismay, when I discovered in this active personage the features of
the villanous Jenkins! What could a poor Donkey do?--It was not a
case in which braying could be serviceable. Unintentionally I adopted
a line of conduct which rescued my mistress from an immense loss.
This man had always been my terror; his threatning aspect on the
present occasion revived that fear he was but too well calculated
to inspire:--hastening from his scowling glance I ran towards the
house--startled the solitary woman, who, raising her eyes, beheld the
depredator, and instantly gave the alarm.
Jenkins had carried off a large bundle, and would have escaped
detection, had not the other women been near at hand, and hearing the
cry of “Stop thief!” actually seized his person. I saw him brought
back, followed by a mob; all was confusion: no one knew how to act
till an officer of justice was summoned. The guilty Jenkins was then
conveyed to a place of confinement, and the frightened women were
left to account for their absence. The exact result of this business
never reached me: I conclude their excuses were not accepted, as I
saw strangers in their place next day. Jenkins only escaped condign
punishment from the circumstance of the linen he had stolen being
_dry_:--a point in law certainly beyond my comprehension, though
highly grateful to my feelings when I recollected his amiable aunt. He
was transported for seven years. When this sentence reached my ears,
I could not help breathing a wish, that a change of climate might
produce that alteration in his conduct that might ultimately lead to
reformation. My Donkey friend on this evening appeared much depressed:
I delicately sought his confidence, when, with a sigh, he exclaimed,
“Your present life leaves you at liberty to enter into the concerns of
man, while I am wholly occupied by the oppressions under which my own
species languish.”
“My dear friend,” I replied, “surely you cannot doubt my Donkeyish
sympathy? I am an Ass, and nothing that relates to Asses is indifferent
to me.”
“Spoken like yourself,” resumed Bobby. “I met an old friend to-day
whose sufferings have touched me keenly: I remember him one of the
strongest Asses I ever saw--indifferent to labour, cheerful, patient;
in short, quite a perfect animal. This morning I saw him feeble and
almost sinking for want of sustenance, dragging a load of wood, under
which his legs trembled, yet he had some miles to go. When I expressed
my sorrow at seeing him in this situation, he smiled calmly; said,
there was nothing remarkable in his fate, that we were destined to
labour, and should endeavour to bear it with gratitude.”
“Such characters make one ashamed of oneself,” replied I; “but if your
friend has escaped broken knees, he is probably as equal to his station
as I who am young and apparently healthy.”
Bob smiled. “Then you take no account of age,” said he, “nor think
perhaps that quiet and repose would be acceptable to an old Ass?”
“You mistake me, my dear Sir; I only suggested the possibility of
your friend’s good constitution supporting him under difficulties my
shattered limbs could not endure.”
“The truth is, my dear Jemmy, we are all prone to consider our own
misfortunes too deeply. I grant yours is a case that must excite fears
for the future, but we must not rob the present hour of its enjoyment
in order to speculate on an issue which may never arrive. There is a
degree of selfishness in this, unworthy of your character: forgive my
freedom; did I esteem you less, I should not have presumed to reprehend
your sentiments.”
“A thousand thanks, my kind Mentor,” sighed I, and I rubbed my nose
against his neck in token of my perfect gratitude. “I stand corrected;
I fear it is too true that debility renders us irritable and partially
selfish; but I am a fortunate Donkey in meeting such a friend, I could
almost think, while I listen to you, that my early instructor the
excellent Balaam, was before me.”
“Balaam!” exclaimed Bobby, “did you say Balaam?”