MAR. I don't care! I shall follow my own usages, and I begin this
morning by packing off my French master and my music master; and as
for the dancing master, if he dares come here again and make my feet
ache as he did yesterday, I'll break his little fiddle over his head
for him!
_Enter a SERVANT at the back._
SERV. Lord and Lady Plato.
SIR W. Good heavens! my uncle and his wife, his first visit since his
marriage! Now, my dearest Margaret, if you have any regard for me--and
I know you _have,_ after your own fashion----
MAR. I like you very much when you don't snub me.
SIR W. I never will again, if you will only be a little on your guard
now. Speak as few words as possible, and take off that apron and those
gardening gloves, and try to recollect the way of receiving visitors
that I have so often taught you.
MAR. I'll try.
SIR W. There's a dear! and I'll give you a kiss when they're gone.
MAR. No, give it me now.
SIR W. (_kissing her_) There! (_to SERVANT_) I'll attend his lordship
immediately.
_Exit SERVANT and SIR WILLIAM_.
MAR. Bless me! then I must titivate a little. (_rings a bell_) I'm to
take off these gloves and this apron.
_Enter a MAID, L.H.D._
--Come here, Lucy--take these things, will you? (_giving her the
gloves and apron_) Now my hair and my dress--do I look nice and proper
to see gentlefolks? Oh! my shoes do pinch me so! There, that will
do--now go.
_MARGERY stands very prim, L.H.--SIR WILLIAM ushers in LORD and
LADY PLATO._
SIR W. My dear uncle, this is kind! I was afraid you would never honor
me with a visit again. Lady Plato, I am delighted to know you. You can
form no idea how gratified I am by the unexpected pleasure of seeing
you.
PLATO. Just returned from a trip to the Highlands.
SIR W. I was fearful I had offended you, but this kindness assures me
we are still friends.
PLATO. We shall have the pleasure of meeting Lady Evergreen, I hope.
SIR W. Certainly--her ladyship is present. You have heard of my
choice, and will, I trust, overlook any _gaucherie_--any----
PLATO. Certainly! I've considered the matter, and as there is now no
help for it, why, what can't be cured--I need say no more.
SIR W. Lady Evergreen, permit me to introduce you to my excellent
uncle, Lord Plato, and to Lady Plato.
_MARGERY is introduced with some ceremony--On curtseying to LADY
PLATO she suddenly stops and stares at her._
MAR. Lord, it's Polly! Oh, Polly dear, is it you? Oh! how glad I am to
see you. Well now, only to think!
LADY P. My dear old friend!
MAR. It is she! Oh, I'm so glad! Oh! that I should see you again--oh
my gemini! (_to SIR WILLIAM_) My dear, she's my old, my dear, my
dearest friend--she was at school at the big house where I used to
take fruit from the farm to all the girls, and she took a fancy to
me--didn't you, Polly? and I took a fancy to her, and we used to play
together, and sing together, and then she came to my father's and
stopped a whole month when she had the measles. Oh dear! oh! I'm going
to cry now--I'm so happy.
SIR W. (_to LADY PLATO_) Old acquaintance I perceive, my lady.
LADY P. Indeed we are! I cannot express the pleasure, the delight I
experience at once more meeting the playmate of my infancy.
MAR. Don't you remember blind man's buff, and puss in the corner? Oh,
I do, so well! And only to think that you should be married to my
husband's uncle! Lord, you're my aunt! Oh what fun! (_takes LADY PLATO
up the Stage_)
SIR W. You see, my lord, the choice I have made; but you are aware of
my feelings, my motives--I have been disappointed hitherto, but still
I hope to succeed.
PLATO. Don't allude to the matter, I beg. In the refined society of
Lady P., your wife will receive more instruction from the force of
example than could be accomplished by any system. We'll leave them
together, as I wish to have a little conversation with you on the
state of the nation.
SIR W. I'll attend your lordship with pleasure.
PLATO. (_to LADY PLATO_) Adieu, my dearest, for a few moments--you
will, I know, prefer a little freedom with your old acquaintance. Lady
Evergreen will, I'm sure, excuse us.
MAR. Oh yes! and thank you for going.
PLATO. Frank, at any rate! You'll be delighted with Lady Plato. (_to
SIR WILLIAM_) Such refinement! such intellect! Gigantic, Sir,
gigantic!--and such angelic sweetness!
SIR W. Ah! all education--all education!
_Exeunt LORD PLATO and SIR WILLIAM at the back, L.H._
MAR. Oh, Polly dear! I never thought to see you any more! Let me look
at you all over! Yes, it is the same--the same eyes, the same mouth,
the same nose--all the same! But you don't laugh as you used--not look
so merry. What's the matter, dear?--don't you do as you like? ar'n't
you happy in your mind?
LADY P. A sadness oppresses me that I find very difficult to conquer.
MAR. Your husband worries you, I dare say--mine does sometimes, though
he's very good to me, one way and another. But I don't like his
wanting me to learn so much about nouns, and pronouns, and
history--and then he gives me such dull books to read, all about
astrology, and chronology, and physiology, and conchology, and
etymology, and how many miles the moon's off--just as if one wanted to
know, as long as it shines. I can't bear it! Give me Robinson Crusoe
and the Seven Champions--that's what I like! But with all his learning
I can do what _he_ can't.
LADY P. What's that, my dear?
MAR. Get up on a cold morning. Ah! you should only see _him_ try!