love.
"Gabriel was not long away; in about ten minutes he returned; his face
was flushed, his eyes gleamed--but not with joy. I must tell you that my
father, an ex-naval officer, was not good-humored every day, that his
language was often brusque, and that his manners corresponded with his
language.
"'Well, monsieur,' I said, 'did you see my father?'
"'Yes, mademoiselle.'
"'Did you ask him for my hand?'
"'Yes, mademoiselle.'
"'What answer did he make?'
"Gabriel began to twirl his cane.
"'If you don't keep your cane quiet, monsieur, I'll throw it out of the
window! What did father say?'
"'Mademoiselle--monsieur your father--he is not in a very good humor--he
listened to me with a sarcastic expression, and then--then he took me by
the hand, and--and put me out of his study. "Go and blow your nose!" he
said; "you may come again in ten years and talk about your love."'
"'What! is it possible? My father told you to--to go and blow your
nose?'
"'Yes, mademoiselle; and I give you my word I had no desire to.'
"I was petrified. My father's response seemed to me so rude, so
humiliating, to Gabriel, that I asked him, looking him in the eye:
"'And you took that without a word?'
"'What would you have had me do, mademoiselle? I could not--threaten
your papa, could I?'
"'No, of course not. Well, Monsieur Gabriel, as he looks upon you as a
schoolboy, you must show him that you're a man. You must--you must--run
off with me.'
"'Run off with you!'
"Gabriel was paralyzed; but I, afraid of nothing, and having no
comprehension of the importance of my projected action, continued:
"'Mon Dieu! Monsieur Gabriel, you seem dumfounded. However, it's a very
simple matter. You carry me off--that is to say, I run away--to-night,
after dinner. No one suspects anything, and it will be easy enough for
me to do it. You must be waiting for me at the corner, wrapped in a
cloak--do you hear? You must have a cloak,--no one ever abducts a girl
without that,--and a broad-brimmed hat pulled down over your eyes. I
will wear a long pelisse and a veil. It will be great fun! You must take
me--wherever you choose. Then you can write to my father that I am with
you, and he can't help consenting to our marriage; that's the way it
always ends.'
"'In that case, mademoiselle, I will run away with you; I should like
to.'
"'To-night?'
"'To-night.'
"'I will leave the house at eight o'clock; be on the lookout for me.'
"'I will.'
"'And you will wear a cloak?'
"'I have one, mademoiselle; but I haven't a broad-brimmed hat.'
"'Buy one.'
"'To be sure; I didn't think of that.'
"'And think about where you will take me.'
"'I'll think about it.'
"'Now go; until to-night!'
"I can't tell you, my dear Charles, all the thoughts that assailed me as
soon as I had persuaded my lover to abduct me. I was glad, and sorry; I
looked forward with delight to being abducted, for I had read many
novels, and, unluckily, of the sort in which one never finds a truthful
line; in which nature, constantly perverted and distorted, like the
language of the characters, is made to produce only such individuals as
never existed, with an accompaniment of stilted, bombastic phrases; and
whose moral is that vice or crime is always triumphant over virtue and
honesty. Is it not true, my friend, that those are villainous books, and
that if by chance they contain charm of style and poetic thoughts the
author is all the more culpable, since he employs his talent solely to
disgust us with what is good and beautiful, with what has always been
held in respect?
"As I was saying, I was intensely excited, in a sort of delirium, in
fact. I had had no mother from childhood! Abandoned at an early age to
the care of paid dependents, never having found a heart into which I
could pour out my thoughts and feelings, treated by my father like a
little girl, or rather like a boy who was left to himself all day to
raise the deuce, I had no one but myself. Ah! if my mother had lived!
how many, many things would not have happened to me! She would have made
me more prudent and careful; and it is probable that you would not be
supping with me to-night.
"I had no thought of drawing back. At the appointed hour, I stole out of
the house, wrapped in my pelisse, with a veil over my face, carrying a
small bundle, in which, I remember, I had put a ball dress, a pair of
bracelets, a package of candy, a toothbrush, three pairs of gloves, two
cakes of chocolate, a fan, and a shoehorn.
"I found Gabriel waiting for me. The poor fellow was trembling much more
than I was; he had the conventional cloak, but his head was almost
invisible in an enormous hat like those worn by the porters at the
market; it crushed him, made him look small and insignificant, and was
not at all the style of headgear that I had hoped to see on my abductor.
And, to cap the climax, he still carried in his right hand that
miserable switch which had already caused me so much vexation of spirit.
"He came to meet me, and stammered something or other. I took possession
of his arm, saying:
"'Let us make haste, we may be followed. Where's the post chaise?'
"'The post chaise? There isn't any. You didn't mention a post chaise.'
"'I thought that you would understand that. Where are you going to take
me, then?'
"'Oh! never fear! I have engaged a lodging. Come.'
"I followed where he led. But I could not help saying to him:
"'That's a horribly ugly hat!'
"'Why, mademoiselle, it has a turned-down brim.'
"'So I see! but it's too much of a good thing. You ought to have a hat
such as they wore under Louis XIII, with a feather curled round it. You
look like a miller.'
"'_Dame!_ you didn't tell me----'
"'Great heaven! must I tell you everything?'
"We halted in front of a furnished lodging house in the heart of the
town, into which my abductor escorted me. I considered that very
unromantic; I had flattered myself that I was to be spirited away to
some venerable chateau, or to some village inn, where there would be
robbers, or, at all events, very dark passages. Instead of that, we were
shown into a pleasant, well-lighted room, where a table was laid, but in
which there was nothing to suggest that we were to pass the night there.
I said nothing, but it seemed strange to me. When we were left alone,
Gabriel, who had removed his cloak and his plebeian hat, began to play
with his cane.
"'Mademoiselle Frederique,' he said,'do you like roast duck with
olives?'
"You cannot conceive the impression produced upon me by that question,
at a moment when I expected my lover to throw himself at my feet with
passionate protestations of love.
"'Was it to feed me on roast duck with olives that you eloped with me,
monsieur?' I demanded angrily.
"'No, mademoiselle; but we must eat. They won't take us in here unless
we order supper; and while we're waiting for them to come for you----'
"'To come for me! Who, pray?'
"'Why, your papa.'
"'My father come here for me! Who can have told him that I am here?'
"'Why, I did.'
"'You? What do you mean? You bring me to this hotel, to conceal me, and
you send word to my father!'
"'Why, mademoiselle, it was you yourself who said to me: "You will carry
me off, then you will write to my father, and he'll have to consent to
our marriage."--I have followed your instructions; I have sent a letter
to your papa by a messenger, telling him that I have carried you off and
that we are here.'
"'Oh! is it possible that anybody can be such a stupid fool! Why,
monsieur, the time to write to the parents is after a few days have
passed; when the elopement has made a great sensation, and they have
hunted everywhere for the girl, and when--when--things have happened
that---- Oh! how stupid you are, monsieur! Mon Dieu!'
"Gabriel was at his wits' end, and I was choking with rage. At that
moment, I heard my father's voice in the street. He was just entering
the house, with a friend of his, and I heard him say:
"'It's a boy and girl's joke, but I don't like it.'
"The thought of being found there by my father, and of the bundle I had
brought, together with Gabriel's dazed look, drove me into a perfect
frenzy of rage; and in my longing to be revenged, to vent my spleen upon
someone, I seized my lover's cane, and, without taking time to reflect,
beat him soundly over the shoulders before he knew what I was doing.
Then I opened the window--we were only on the entresol--and jumped
without a moment's hesitation. I landed in the street, uninjured,
hurried home, and succeeded in creeping up to my room without being
seen. I quickly scrambled into bed, so that when my father returned he
concluded that the letter he had received was simply a hoax, and never
mentioned it. As for little Gabriel, I never saw him again.
"That, my friend, is the story of my first love, if one may fairly give
that name to the impulsive fancy of a mere girl, which makes her think
that she loves the first fair-haired stripling who sighs when he looks
at her.
"A few months after this adventure, another young man paid court to me;
but he was not timid, not he! he knew how to speak out, and was not at
all embarrassed about declaring his affection; he expressed himself too
eloquently, perhaps, for he turned my head with fine phrases which I
thought superb at the time, but which would seem quite devoid of sense
now. After declaring his passion to me, he asked my father for my hand,
and was formally refused. He had not a sou, and I have learned since
that he was a very bad character. But at that time I looked upon my
father as a tyrant, and when Anatole proposed an elopement, to be
followed by a marriage, it seemed to me a perfectly natural proposal.
"However, I hesitated. The memory of my escapade with Gabriel had cooled
my ardor somewhat on the subject of elopements, and at first I made some
objections. Anatole thereupon drew from under his waistcoat a little
dagger with a gleaming blade, swearing that he would kill himself before
my eyes if I did not consent to be abducted. A man who proposes to kill
himself for love of you! That is magnificent, and not to be resisted. I
consented.
"The elopement was carried out without difficulty--I was so poorly
guarded! This time I had the pleasure of being abducted in a carriage;
but we went only three leagues from the city. Anatole told the coachman
to stop at an inn, where we were to pass the night. Ah! that time I was
in great danger.
"In the common room of the inn, where we had to wait while a room was
prepared for us, we met two ladies on their way to Bordeaux. I fancied
that I detected an interchange of smiles and knowing glances between
them and Anatole. I was suspicious, but I said nothing. I refused to eat
any supper, and went up to the room that had been prepared for me,
telling Anatole not to put himself out on my account, but to sup without
me. He assented, which was in itself rather ungallant; for there are
times when a man ought not to think of eating. Although I had had little
experience, it seemed to me that that was one of the times.
"A quarter of an hour later, I opened my door very softly and crept
downstairs without meeting a soul. As I passed through a hall into which
several doors opened, I heard laughter, and recognized Anatole's voice.
I went to the door from which it came, and put my ear to the crack. I
cannot describe my feelings when I heard the man who had eloped with me
speak of me as a little fool whose head he had turned without
difficulty. I heard two women's voices also; they spoke sneeringly of me
and laughed at my expense; then they kissed, chuckling over the good
times they would have with my dowry. I was furious, and for a moment I
was tempted to rush into the room and box my seducer's ears as well as
his companions'. But I restrained myself, reflecting that a scandalous
scene in an inn would compromise me much more, and that it would be far
better to go away without a word and leave Monsieur Anatole to his
reflections.
"I had no difficulty in leaving the inn; I found my way to the highroad
and entered a diligence going to Bordeaux. To make a long story short, I
succeeded in returning home before my absence was discovered; so that my
father had no suspicion that I had eloped a second time. That was
wonderful luck; but I swore that I would never take the risk again.
"Several days passed before I heard from Anatole, but at last I received
a letter from him. He demanded an explanation of my conduct and
reiterated his protestations of undying love; in conclusion, he asked
for a meeting. You will readily understand that I did not answer the
letter. The next day came another, in which he himself appointed a
meeting. At that, I went to my father and told him that Monsieur
Anatole, whom I could not endure, had the assurance to make assignations
with me, and I mentioned the place where he proposed to meet me. My
father kissed me in acknowledgment of my trust in him and my prudence,
saying that he would take it upon himself to administer fitting
chastisement to the impertinent scoundrel who presumed to write to me.
In fact, that same evening Monsieur Anatole received from my father's
foot a number of blows on a sensitive spot."
Frederique paused to moisten her lips with malvoisie, and I turned my
face so that I could see her better.
XXII
MONSIEUR DAUBERNY
After a moment's silence, during which we both seemed to be lost in
thought, Frederique continued:
"Such, my friend, were the results of my first two girlish passions; I
was entirely disillusionized concerning the pretty love romances that
girls dream of at boarding school. Some time after, my father proposed
Monsieur Dauberny to me as a suitable match. I did not know him, but I
readily assented. I did not propose to love again, and it mattered
little to me whom they gave me for a husband.
"So I married Monsieur Dauberny. As you do not know my husband, allow me
to draw his portrait for you. He was thirty-six years old when he
married me, and is now forty-four. A man of thirty-six is still young,
especially when he is a bachelor. My husband is a handsome man, with
regular features; his face has no mobility, but, at first glance, that
lack may easily be taken for gravity; at that time he was not so stout
as he is to-day. In the early days of our union, I did not dislike him;
I simply thought that he did not take enough pains to please me. I was
nineteen years old! Frankly, I was well worth the trouble of making love
to. Instead of that, my husband already neglected me to go--where? I did
not know; but one day I took it into my head to find out. I dressed as a
man; I had often worn a masculine costume for my own amusement, and I
wore it with as much ease as that of my own sex.
"I played the spy on Monsieur Dauberny; he took a fiacre, and I followed
him in a cabriolet. I supposed that he would go to visit some lorette,
or perhaps some grisette. I was surprised when I found that his cab
turned into Faubourg du Temple, passed the barrier, and stopped at La
Courtille, in front of one of the most famous restaurants there. So
Monsieur Dauberny frequented La Courtille. But why did he go there? Was
it simply from curiosity? from a liking for those popular scenes, with
which the court used to divert itself, so they say, at the Grand-Salon
on Rue Coquenard? It was necessary to follow Monsieur Dauberny in order
to obtain fuller information. I confess that I hesitated a moment. I
felt a sort of thrill of terror when I found myself in the midst of a
throng so entirely unfamiliar to me, hearing a medley of shouts, oaths,
howling, singing, and laughter all about me. But, as you know, I am not
fond of retreating. I entered a wine shop which seemed very popular, and
followed the crowd past a succession of long counters, looking about for
my husband.
"Everybody seemed to be going up a broad staircase, and I did as the
others did. Luckily, my costume, being very simple, did not attract
attention. Still, several men in blouses had glanced at me as they
passed, saying to one another:
"'Who in the devil's this fellow?'
"'I should think he was some English lord's valet.'
"'How sheepish he looks in his coat! One would say he didn't dare to
stoop. My eye! see the gloves! There's style for you! gloves! He looks
as if he'd been to a wedding.'
"All this was not calculated to put me at my ease. I hastened to take
off my gloves, and stuffed them in my pocket; then I cocked my hat over
one ear, to give myself a swaggering air, and went up to the first
floor.
"I found myself in an enormous room, where there was an orchestra. The
centre of the room was reserved for dancing and was surrounded by a
railing. But outside the railing were tables, without cloths, with
wooden benches beside them. There were men and women eating and drinking
at almost all the tables. All those people did not hesitate to talk in
loud voices, laugh and sing, or blackguard one another. They kept
shouting to the waiters, who had much ado to fill the orders of the
customers; and when to that uproar were added the music of the
orchestra, in which wind instruments and the bass drum predominated, and
the clatter of the dancers, who were not shod in pumps, the result was a
bacchanalian tumult quite capable of deafening and stupefying a person,
especially one who heard it for the first time.
"The heat was suffocating; the room was filled with a heavy vapor
produced by the smoking dishes, the wine spilt on the table, the dust
raised by the dancers, and the perspiration, which seemed to be the
normal condition of the company. There was a sort of mist before my
eyes; they smarted painfully, and I felt that I staggered like an
intoxicated person. I leaned against a table. A waiter passed me,
carrying glasses of eau-de-vie to several women; I asked him for one of
them and swallowed it at a draught, amid the applause of the women who
sat about the table.
"'He's doing well, that boy is!' said one of them; 'with his little
touch-me-not air, he tosses down his dram like a regular fireman! I give
him my esteem!--I say, little one, I engage you for the waltz.'
"I thanked them, saying that I did not waltz, and walked quickly away
from the table, for they seemed altogether too kindly disposed toward
me. At last, I discovered my husband in the midst of the crowd around
the tables. He had just taken his seat at one, at which two women in
fichus were already seated dressed like fishwomen in their everyday
clothes.
"The brandy I had drunk had restored my spirit; I was no longer afraid,
but was inclined to fight anybody who chose to place any obstacle in the
way of my plans. I stole cautiously behind Monsieur Dauberny, and seated
myself on a bench at the table next to his, and ordered wine, bread, and
veal cutlets. I could hear my neighbors' conversation, especially as my
husband's companions had voices of the sort that drowns every other
noise, even that of a bass drum.
"The two women in fichus were young; one was ugly, while the other had
rather pretty features. But such a shameless expression! Such bold eyes,
such a voice, such gestures, and such language! I have never been
prudish, but I confess that I felt the color rising in my cheeks when I
heard that woman's remarks. But it seemed to be much to Monsieur
Dauberny's taste; for he sat very close indeed to Mademoiselle Mariotte,
as they called her whose look seemed to defy a regiment. I heard her
call my husband _Bouqueton_; that was the name he had adopted for use
with his conquests at La Courtille. They were already acquainted, for
Mademoiselle Mariotte said to him:
"'Why didn't you come night before last, as you promised, you vagabond?
It was all on your account I accepted a salad and a sword knot from the
Garenboule brothers, who made me drink a lot of stuff and play cards
with 'em till I won all their cash. If you don't keep your word better'n
that, I'll play tricks on you as would give the monkeys the go-by!'
"Monsieur Dauberny apologized, and ordered two or three dishes and
several bottles of wine. I expected to see him dance with his belle, but
he contented himself with treating her and even making her tipsy.
Mademoiselle Mariotte was sentimental in her cups; I heard them kissing
behind me, but I beg you to believe that my heart felt no wound. Since I
had seen my husband make soft eyes at Mademoiselle Mariotte, I had felt
nothing but contempt for him, and contempt, I can assure you, is the
sovereign remedy for love; but I had never loved Monsieur Dauberny.
"The caresses became more frequent, but that was a very common
occurrence in that den; for there was an incessant volley of them from
all the tables. Suddenly my husband's mistress rose and led him away.
"'I believe private rooms ain't for wax figures!' she cried.
"And they went off, arm in arm. That time I had no desire to follow
them; I had seen and heard enough. I made haste to pay for the food and
drink I had not touched, and to leave that wine shop where sport was so
noisy and love so shameless.
"I did not see my husband for several days. I said that I was ill, and
kept my room; when he came to the door and asked to see me, I alleged my
need of rest as an excuse for not receiving him. I felt such an
unutterable aversion for him that even the sound of his footsteps upset
me completely. However, before deciding definitely what course to
pursue, before letting him know that I was aware of his debauched
tastes, I asked myself if it were not possible that he had been led away
once by some unusual combination of circumstances; if it would be just
to condemn him on the strength of a single act. You see that I meant to
deal fairly by him. What I had seen would have been enough to lead many
women to consider themselves released from their oaths. But I determined
to follow him once more, being fully persuaded beforehand that I should
simply acquire fresh proofs of his disgusting habits.
"On the second occasion, instead of putting on a frock-coat and a round
hat, I dressed in a blouse, with a workman's cap on my head; I was
careful not to wear gloves, and I tried to blacken my hands. In short, I
disguised myself as a street urchin. Well for me that I did so! for,
instead of leading me to La Courtille, Monsieur Dauberny, who was on
foot, went in the direction of the Cite, and in due time turned into a
narrow, muddy street, where the houses had a very evil look. I have
learned since that it was Rue Saint-Eloy. I remembered the _Mysteries of
Paris_, and I shuddered at the thought that I might perhaps have to
follow my husband into a _tapis franc_! but my costume protected me, and
no one paid any heed to me.
"Monsieur Dauberny stopped in front of a hovel that was styled a cafe,
and looked through the window. It must have been hard to distinguish
anything, for the glass was covered with a coating of smoke; and
Monsieur Dauberny, who probably had not succeeded in looking in, seemed
to hesitate, when a man entered the street at the other end and tapped
my husband on the shoulder. I recognized the new-comer as one Faisande,
who was very intimate with Monsieur Dauberny, and sometimes came to the
house; but the fellow, who was a clerk at the Treasury, had always
seemed to me so reserved in his language, he professed to entertain such
rigid principles and displayed so little indulgence for the most trivial
peccadilloes, that I believed him to be a perfect Cato!"
"Faisande!" cried I; "a clerk at the Treasury! Hypocrite, tartuffe, and
debauchee! Ah! that's the very man!"
"Do you know him?"
"He was at the dinner at Deffieux's, the night that I made bold to
attend Mademoiselle Guillardin's ball. He was very much shocked because
we were a little free in our talk; he preached morality to us."
"Oh! that's the man to the life! Let me finish my story:
"When Monsieur Faisande appeared, I stretched myself out on a stone
bench in front of the hovel. I turned my face to the wall, and listened
to their talk.
"'I was waiting for you,' my husband said.
"'Why didn't you go in?'
"'I am not so well known here as you are. I was not sure that they'd
give me the little secret room.'
"'You must say: "I am Saint-Germain's friend,"--that's the name I go by
here,--and they'd have taken you there at once.'
"'It seems that you're a regular habitue?'
"'I sometimes pass a whole week here, without putting my nose outside
the door.'
"'A week! What about your place?'
"'I let it go to the devil!'
"'And your wife?'