Teddy, Billy, and Jack. Teddy and Billy were the two eldest, and they
were brave, able boys. But Jack was the youngest, a _gauchy_, _dawnie_
sort of a lad that was good for nothing only feeding fowls and doing
odd turns about the house. When they grew up to be men, Teddy and
Billy one day said they'd go away to travel and see the world, for
they'd only be good-for-nothing omadhauns if they'd stay here all
their lives. Their father said that was good, and so off the both of
them started. And that night when they halted from their travelling,
who does they see coming up after them, but Jack; for it seems he
commenced to think _long_, when he found them gone, and he was that
lonesome that he couldn't stay behind them. And there he was dressed
in his old tattered clothes, a spec-_tacle_ for the world, and a
disgrace to them; for of course, they were done off with the best of
everything--rale gentlemen, as becomed their father's sons. They said
to themselves they'd be long sorry to let that picthur with them--for
he _was_ a picthur, and no doubt of it--to be an upcast to them
wherever they'd go. So before they started on again next mornin' they
tied Jack to a millstone, and left him there. That night again, when
they went to stop from their travellin', what would you have of it but
there was me brave Jack once more, not a hundred parches behind them,
and he dragging the millstone after him. Teddy and Billy said this was
too bad entirely; and next day, before they started again, they tied
another millstone to him, and they said, "Well, you'll not get away
from here in a hurry anyhow, boy." So on they went again on their
journey, laughing and cracking jokes, and telling passages, to pass
the time; but that night again, when they went to stop from their
journey, lo! and behold ye, who does they see coming tearing after
them but my poor Jack, once more, with the two millstones dragging
behind him. Then they were in a quandhary entirely, and they begun to
consider what was best to do with him, for they saw there was no
holdin' or tyin' of him, or keepin' him back at all, at all, for if
they were to tie him to a mountain in the mornin', he'd be afther them
with the mountain rattling at his heels again night. So they come to
the conclusion that it was best to take Jack with them, and purtend
him to be their hired boy, and not their brother at all. Of course, me
poor Jack, that was always agreeable, was only too ready to go on
these terms; and on the three of them went, afore them, till at length
they reached the King of England's castle. When the King of England
heard Teddy and Billy was the King of Ireland's two sons, he give them
_cead mile failte_,[3] was plaised and proud to see them, ordhered
them to be made much of, then opened his hall door, an' asked in the
nobility an' genthry of the whole counthry-side to a big dinner and
ball that he gave in their honour. But what do you have of it, but in
the middle of the ball doesn't Teddy have a fallout with the King of
England's son, and sthruck him, and then that was the play! The hubbub
and _hooroosh_ got up, and the King ordhered the ball to be stopped,
and had Teddy taken pris'ner, and Billy and Jack ordhered away out of
the kingdom. Billy and Jack went away, vexed in their hearts at
leaving Teddy in jail, and they travelled away till they came to
France, and the King of France's castle. Here, when the King of France
heard that Billy, the King of Ireland's son, had come to see him, he
went out and welcomed him, an' asked in himself and Jack to come in
and make a visit with him. And, like the King of England, he thought
he couldn't make too much of the King of Ireland's sons, and threw
open his hall door and asked in the whole nobility and clergy and
genthry of all the counthry-side into a great dinner and ball given in
Billy's honour. But lo! and behould ye, doesn't it turn up at this
ball, too, that Billy had a squabble with the King of France's son and
struck him, and the ball was stopped by the King's ordhers, and the
people sent home, and Billy taken prisoner, and there was poor Jack
now left all alone. The King of France, taking pity on Jack, employed
him as a boy. And Jack was getting along very well at Court, and the
king and him used to have very great yarns together entirely. At
length a great war broke out betwixt France and Germany; and the King
of France was in great trouble, for the Germans were slaughtering and
conquering all before them. Says Jack, says he, to the King one day,
"I wish I had only half a rajimint of your men, and you'd see what I
would do." Instead of this the King gave him a whole army, and in less
nor three days there wasn't a German alive in the whole kingdom of
France. It was the king was the thankful man to Jack for this good
action, and said he never could forget it to him. After that Jack got
into great favour at court, and used to have long chats with the Queen
herself. But Jack soon found that he never could come into the Queen's
presence that he didn't put her in tears. He asked her one day what
was the meaning of this, and she told him that it was because she
never looked on him that he didn't put her in mind of her infant son
that had, twelve months before, been carried away by the Queen of the
Golden Mines, and who she had never heard tale or tidings of from that
day to this.
[Footnote 3: Hundred thousand welcomes.]
"Well, be this and be that," says Jack, says he, "but I'm not the man
to leave ye in your trouble if I can help it; and be this and be that
over again," says he, "but I won't sleep two nights in the one bed, or
eat two meals' meat in the one house, till I find out the Queen of the
Golden Mines' Castle, and fetch back your infant son to ye--or else I
'll not come back livin'."
"Ah," says the Queen, "that would never do!" and "Ah," says the King,
"that would never do at all, at all!" They pointed out and showed to
him how a hundred great knights had gone on the same errand before
him, and not one of them ever come back livin', and there was no use
in him throwin' away his life, for they couldn't afford to lose him.
But it was all no use; Jack was bound on going, and go he would. So,
the very next morning he was up at cock-crow, and afther leavin'
good-bye with the whole of them, and leavin' the King and the Queen in
tears, he started on his journey. And he travelled away afore him,
inquiring his way to the Castle of the Queen of the Golden Mines; and
he travelled and tramped for many a weary day, and for many a weary
week, and for many a weary month; till at last, when it was drawing on
twelve months from the day he left the Castle of the King of France,
one day tor'st evening he was travelling through a thick wood, when he
fell in with an old man, resting, with a great bundle of sticks by his
side; and "Me poor old man," says Jack, says he, "that's a mighty
great load entirely for a poor man of your years to be carryin'. Sure,
if ye'll allow me, I'll just take them with me for ye, as far as
you're goin'."
"Blissin's on ye!" says the ould man; "an' an ould man's blissin' atop
of that; an' thanky."
"Nobbut, thanky, yerself, for your good wishes," says Jack, says he,
throwin' the bundle of sticks on his shoulder, an' marchin' on by the
ould man's side. And they thravelled away through the wood till they
come at last to the ould man's cabin. And the ould man axed Jack to
come in and put up with him for the night, and such poor
accommodations as he had, Jack was heartily welcome to them. Jack
thanked him and went in and put up for the night with him, and in the
morning Jack told the ould man the arrand he was on and axed if he'd
diract him on his way to the Queen of the Golden Mines' Castle. Then
the ould man took out Jack, and showed him a copper castle glancing in
the sun, on a hill opposite, and told him that was his journey's end.
"But, me poor man," says he, "I would strongly advise ye not to go
next or near it. A hundred knights went there afore you on the
selfsame errand, and their heads are now stuck on a hundred spears
right afore the castle; for there's a fiery dragon guards it that
makes short work of the best of them."
But seeing Jack wasn't to be persuaded off his entherprise nohow, he
took him in and gave him a sword that carried ten men's strength in it
along with that of the man that wielded it. And he told Jack, if he
was alive again' night, and not killed by the dhragon, to come back to
his cabin. Jack thanked him for the sword, and promised this, and then
he set out for the castle. But lo! and behold ye, no sooner did Jack
come anear the castle than a terrible great monsther of a dhragon
entirely, the wildest ever Jack seen or heard tell of, come out from
the castle, and he opened his mouth as wide as the world from side to
side, and let out a roar that started the old gray eagle on top of
Croaghpathrick mountain at home in Ireland. Poor Jack thrimbled from
head to foot--and small wonder he did--but, not a bit daunted, he went
on to meet the dhragon, and no sooner were they met than he to it and
the dhragon to it, and they fought and sthrove long and hard, the
wildest fight by far that poor Jack ever entered into, and they fought
that way from early mornin' till the sun went down, at one time Jack
seemin' to be gettin' the betther of the dhragon, and the next minute
the dhragon gettin' the betther of Jack; and when the sun went down
they called a truce of peace till next day; and Jack dragged himself
back to the cabin in small hopes of being able to meet the dhragon
more, for he was covered over with wounds from head to foot. But when
he got to the cabin the ould man welcomed him back alive, and he took
down a little bottle of ointment and rubbed it over Jack, and no
sooner did he rub it over him than Jack's wounds were all healed as
well as ever again. And Jack went out a new man the next mornin' to
give the dhragon another try for it this day. And just as on the day
afore the fiery dhragon come down the hill meeting poor Jack, and the
dhragon opened his mouth as wide as the world, and gave a roar that
shook the nails on the toes of the great gray eagle on top of
Croaghpathrick mountain at home in Ireland, and then he fell on Jack,
and Jack fell on him, and the dhragon to it, and Jack to it; and the
dhragon gave Jack his fill, and Jack gave the dhragon his fill; and if
they fought hard the day afore they fought double as hard this day,
and the dhragon put very sore on Jack entirely till the sun went down.
Then again they agreed on a truce of peace till the next mornin', and
Jack dragged himself back as best he could to the cabin again, all
covered over with cuts and bruises, and streaming down with blood.
And when he came there the ould man took down a little bottle of
ointment and rubbed Jack over with it, and he was healed as well as
ever again. Next morning Jack was up quite fresh and ready for another
day's battling, and the ould man told Jack that, win or lose, this day
was like to end the battle. And he said if Jack happened (as God send)
to come off victorious, he was to go into the castle and there he
would find a great number of beautiful virgins running about in great
confusion to prevent Jack from discovering their mistress the Queen of
the Golden Mines, and every one of them axing, "Is it me ye want? Is
it me ye want?" But he told Jack he was to heed none of them, but
press through room after room till he come to the sixth room, and
there he would find the Queen herself asleep, with the little child by
her side. So Jack went meeting the dhragon this third day again, and
the dhragon come meeting Jack. And he opened his mouth as wide as the
world, and let a roar that rattled the eyes in the sockets of the
great gray eagle on top of Croaghpathrick mountain at home in Ireland,
and then fell on Jack, and Jack fell on him; and he to it, and Jack to
it, and both of them to it; and if the fight was wild and terrible the
first two days it was ten times wilder and terribler this day. And
harder and harder it was getting the more they warmed to the work; and
one time it was Jack was getting the better of the dhragon, and the
next time it was the dhragon was getting the better of poor Jack; and
at last coming on tor'st night the dhragon was putting very hard on
Jack entirely, and it was very nearly being all over with him, when he
stepped back, and gathering all his strength mounted into the air with
one spring, and come down atop of the dhragon's head, and struck his
sword into his heart, leaving him over dead. Then Jack went into the
castle, and no sooner did he go in than there was lots of the most
beautiful virgins, running in great commotion, and asking Jack, "Is it
me ye want?" "Is it me ye want?" But Jack never heeded thim till he
come into the sixth room, where he saw the beautiful Queen of the
Golden Mines asleep, with the Queen of France's child asleep beside
her. Jack bent over her and gave her one kiss, for she was a lovely
picthur. Then he took up the child in his arms, and picking up a
beautiful garter all glancing with diamonds, that was lying by the
Queen's bedside, and taking with him a loaf of bread that could never
be eaten out, a bottle of wine that could never be drunk out, and a
purse that could never be emptied, he started away. He stopped that
night with the ould man, who took down his bottle of ointment and
healed up all the wounds Jack got that day. In the morning Jack
started for France, leaving with the ould man to keep till the Queen
of the Golden Mines would call for it, the purse that never could be
emptied. When Jack reached France, and presented back to the Queen her
darling child, that was the rejoicement and the joy! There was a great
faist given, and at the faist Jack said he had a little wondher he
fetched with him, that he'd like to show; and he produced his bottle,
and sent it round the prences, and nobility, and genthry that were all
assembled at the faist, and axed them all to drink the Queen's health
out of it. This they all did; and lo! and behold ye, when they had
finished the bottle was as full as when they commenced; and they all
said that bate all ever they knew or heerd tell of; and the King said
it bate all ever he knew or heerd tell of, too, and that the same
bottle would be of mighty great sarvice to him, to keep his troops in
drink when he'd go to war, and axed Jack on what tarms he'd part with
it. Jack said he couldn't part with it entirely, as it wasn't his own,
but if the King relaised his brother he 'd leave the bottle with him
till such times as the Queen of the Golden Mines might call for it.
The Queen agreed to this. Jack's brother was relaised, and himself and
Jack started off for England. When they were come there the King of
England gave a great faist in their honour, too, and at this faist
Jack said he 'd like to show them a little wonder he fetched with him,
and he produced the loaf, and axed the King to divide all round. And
the King cut off the loaf, and divided all round, over all the prences
and nobility and gentry that was there; and when he had finished they
were all lost in wondherment, for the loaf was still as big as when
the King commenced to cut. The King said that would be the grand loaf
for feeding his troops whenever he went to war, and axed Jack what
would he take to part with it. Jack said the loaf wasn't his to part
with, but if the King relaised his brother out of prison he'd give him
the loaf till such times as the Queen of the Golden Mines might call
for it. The King agreed to this, and relaised Jack's other brother,
and then the three of them started for home together. And when they
were come near home the two older brothers agreed that Jack, when he'd
tell his story, would disgrace them, and they'd put him to death. But
Jack agreed if they'd let him live he would go away and push his
fortune, and never go back near home. They let him live on these
conditions, and they pushed on home, where they were received with
great welcomes, and told mortial great things entirely of all the
great things they done while they were away. Jack come to the castle
in disguise and got hired as a boy and lived there.
The Queen of the Golden Mines, when she woke up and learned of the
young gentleman that had killed the dhragon, and carried off the child
and the other things, and kissed her, said he must be a fine fellow
entirely, and she would never marry another man if she couldn't find
him out. She got no rest till she started, herself and her virgins,
and away to find out Jack. She first come to the old man, where she
got her purse, and he directed her to the King of France. When she
come to the Court of the King of France she got her bottle, and he
said Jack went from there to go to see the King of England. From the
King of England she got her loaf, and he diracted her to Ireland,
telling her that Jack was no other than the King of Ireland's son. She
lost no time then reaching the Court of the King of Ireland, where she
demanded his son who had killed the fiery dhragon. The King sent out
his eldest son, and he said it was him that had killed the fiery
dhragon, and she asked him for tokens, but he could give none, so she
said he wasn't the man she wanted. Then the King's second son come out
and said it was him killed the fiery dhragon. But he couldn't show her
no tokens either, so he wouldn't do. Then the King said he had no
other son, but a good-for-nothing _droich_ who went away somewhere and
never come back; but that it wasn't him anyhow, for he couldn't kill
a cockroach. She said she'd have to see him, and converse with him, or
otherwise she wouldn't go away till she'd pull down his castle. Then
the whole house was upside down, and they didn't know what to do. And
Jack, who was doing something about the yards axed what it was all
about; and they told him, and he axed to have a minute's convarsing
with her. But they all laughed at him; and one gave him a knock, and
another gave him a push, and another gave him a kick. And Jack never
minded them one bit, but went out and said it was him that kilt the
fiery dhragon. They all set up another big roar of a laugh at this.
Then the Queen asked him to show his tokens, and Jack fetched from his
pocket the beautiful garter, all shining with jewels, and held it up,
and the Queen came and threw her arms about Jack's neck and kissed
him, and said he was the brave man she'd marry, and no other. And me
brave Jack, to the astonishment of them all, confessed who he was, and
got married to her, and was ever afther the King of the Golden Mines.
_The Deserter_[4]
Once upon a time there was a deserter who was three times faithless to
his colours. Twice had he undergone the punishment due to desertion;
the third time he knew he was face to face with death. So he resolved
to flee by night and hide himself by day in some ditch or thicket, for
he was afraid that in the daylight he might be recognized and
arrested.
[Footnote 4: From "The Russian Grandmother's Wonder Tales." Copyright,
1906, by Charles Scribner's Sons.]
One night, as he was hastening onward, he saw a glimmer of light in
the distance, and thought to himself, "I will go toward that light;
perhaps it will somehow help me out of my trouble."
When, however, he came up to that light all he saw was an opening just
wide enough for him to creep into. The moment he was inside thick
darkness fell upon him. He could find his way neither in nor out; but
on groping around he at last came upon a staircase, up which he
climbed and found himself in a passage-way. Through this passage-way
he went for a long, long time, until at last he stumbled upon a door.
He opened the door and stepped into a room, but it was pitch dark
there too; so he groped all about until at last he stumbled upon
another door and entered another room.
So on he went through eleven rooms, and finally reached the twelfth,
where at last he found a lighted candle upon a table. The room was
beautifully fitted up, and he thought within himself, "Come what come
may, I shall make myself at home in this room."
So he stretched himself upon a couch. He lay there for a while lost in
thought, when, lo and behold! the table began to lay itself. When the
cloth was spread, all sorts of good cheer began to appear upon it.
"Come what come may," he thought to himself again, "I am hungry." So
he fell to and ate to his heart's content. When he had eaten all that
he could swallow he threw himself upon the couch again and began to
consider.
Suddenly three women entered, clothed entirely in black. One seated
herself at the piano, while the two others danced. Tired as he was,
when he saw this he arose and skipped about with them. After this
entertainment they began to talk with him, speaking of one thing and
another, and finally came round to the question how he might break the
spell that bound them.
They told him the very way and manner of doing it, saying that he had
nothing more nor less to do than to pass the night in a certain room
which they would show him. A ghost would come there and pester him
with all sorts of questions--who he was, how he had come there, and
other things. But he must not say a mortal word to all these
questions, not though the ghost tormented him in all sorts of ways; if
he could only hold out in silence the ghost would vanish, and then he
would feel not the least pain from all the torments he had been
enduring.
Our deserter fell in with the proposition without further words, and
the ladies escorted him, with the sound of music, to the fateful room
and left him there alone. When they were gone he undressed himself,
bolted the door securely, and lay down in bed. But he could not sleep,
for his head throbbed with expectation of what was about to happen.
At eleven o'clock a sudden knock was heard at the door. He dared not
make a sound, for he was firmly resolved to ransom himself, the
ladies, and the enchanted castle; so he kept as still as a mouse.
Again the knocking came, but he made no answer. At the third knock the
door flew open, and in walked a gigantic form all clothed in flames.
The giant placed himself at the bedside and began to ask the man who
he was and why he had come; but the deserter never uttered a word.
Then the giant seized him, threw him upon the floor, and began to
torment him; but no sound passed the sufferer's lips. At the stroke
of twelve the ghost departed, with the words:
"Though you wouldn't tell to-day, you will to-morrow, when we all
three come."
He spoke, the door flew open, closed again, and he was gone. The young
man arose from the floor, lay down upon his bed, and fell sweetly
asleep, without feeling the least harm.
Next morning came the three ladies, all in white up to their knees,
and led him, with sound of music, back to the room where he had been
on the previous day. They placed a chair for him and set a delicious
breakfast before him. When he had plentifully breakfasted he fell
asleep and snored till evening.
When he awoke he asked how late it was. The ladies replied that it was
nine o'clock; and they gave him a good supper and led him again to the
same room to sleep.
At the stroke of eleven some one knocked at the door. He made no
sound, but at the third knock the door flew open and three ghosts
entered. The one who had been there the night before asked him the
same questions as before, but received no better answer. Then one of
them seized him and flung him into one corner, and another into
another, and so they tossed him about until the poor fellow lay
helpless against the wall, all covered with blood.
When the clock struck twelve the spokesman said to him, "Though you
won't answer to-night, you will to-morrow, when we all four come."
With these words they disappeared.
He again lifted himself up, lay down upon his bed, and felt no harm.
In the morning the three ladies came, all in white up to their
girdles, and escorted him, to the sound of music, into the other room,
where, after breakfast, he again fell asleep.
At night they again escorted him to his chamber to sleep. When they
were gone he did not go to bed as usual, but began to consider how he
might avoid the fearful torment in store for him. First he looked out
at a window, but his gaze fell upon a frightful abyss enclosed by
rocky precipices. He went to the second window, but there it was no
better, but seemed to be even more fearful. So nothing was left him
but to heap all the furniture of the room before the door, in hope
thus to escape his tormentors. But he soon gave up this hope, for
about midnight the knocking began. He made no answer, but at the third
knock the door flew open and all the furniture returned to its own
place.