Amulya is due to return from Calcutta this morning. I told the
servants to let me know as soon as he arrived, but could not keep
still. At last I went outside to await him in the sitting-room.
When I sent him off to sell the jewels I must have been thinking
only of myself. It never even crossed my mind that so young a
boy, trying to sell such valuable jewellery, would at once be
suspected. So helpless are we women, we needs must place on
others the burden of our danger. When we go to our death we drag
down those who are about us.
I had said with pride that I would save Amulya--as if she who was
drowning could save others. But instead of saving him, I have
sent him to his doom. My little brother, such a sister have I
been to you that Death must have smiled on that Brothers' Day
when I gave you my blessing--I, who wander distracted with the
burden of my own evil-doing.
I feel today that man is at times attacked with evil as with the
plague. Some germ finds its way in from somewhere, and then in
the space of one night Death stalks in. Why cannot the stricken
one be kept far away from the rest of the world? I, at least,
have realized how terrible is the contagion--like a fiery torch
which burns that it may set the world on fire.
It struck nine. I could not get rid of the idea that Amulya was
in trouble, that he had fallen into the clutches of the police.
There must be great excitement in the Police Office--whose are
the jewels?--where did he get them? And in the end I shall have
to furnish the answer, in public, before all the world.
What is that answer to be? Your day has come at last, Bara Rani,
you whom I have so long despised. You, in the shape of the
public, the world, will have your revenge. O God, save me this
time, and I will cast all my pride at my sister-in-law's feet.
I could bear it no longer. I went straight to the Bara Rani.
She was in the verandah, spicing her betel leaves, Thako at her
side. The sight of Thako made me shrink back for a moment, but I
overcame all hesitation, and making a low obeisance I took the
dust of my elder sister-in-law's feet.
"Bless my soul, Chota Rani," she exclaimed, "what has come upon
you? Why this sudden reverence?"
"It is my birthday, sister," said I. "I have caused you pain.
Give me your blessing today that I may never do so again. My
mind is so small." I repeated my obeisance and left her
hurriedly, but she called me back.
"You never before told me that this was your birthday, Chotie
darling! Be sure to come and have lunch with me this afternoon.
You positively must."
O God, let it really be my birthday today. Can I not be born
over again? Cleanse me, my God, and purify me and give me one
more trial!
I went again to the sitting-room to find Sandip there. A feeling
of disgust seemed to poison my very blood. The face of his,
which I saw in the morning light, had nothing of the magic
radiance of genius.
"Will you leave the room," I blurted out.
Sandip smiled. "Since Amulya is not here," he remarked, "I
should think my turn had come for a special talk."
My fate was coming back upon me. How was Ito take away the right
I myself had given. "I would be alone," I repeated.
"Queen," he said, "the presence of another person does not
prevent your being alone. Do not mistake me for one of the
crowd. I, Sandip, am always alone, even when surrounded by
thousands."
"Please come some other time. This morning I am ..."
"Waiting for Amulya?"
I turned to leave the room for sheer vexation, when Sandip drew
out from the folds of his cloak that jewel-casket of mine and
banged it down on the marble table. I was thoroughly startled.
"Has not Amulya gone, then?" I exclaimed.
"Gone where?"
"To Calcutta?"
"No," chuckled Sandip.
Ah, then my blessing had come true, in spite of all. He was
saved. Let God's punishment fall on me, the thief, if only
Amulya be safe.
The change in my countenance roused Sandip's scorn. "So pleased,
Queen!" sneered he. "Are these jewels so very precious? How
then did you bring yourself to offer them to the Goddess? Your
gift was actually made. Would you now take it back?"
Pride dies hard and raises its fangs to the last. It was clear
to me I must show Sandip I did not care a rap about these jewels.
"If they have excited your greed," I said, "you may have them."
"My greed today embraces the wealth of all Bengal," replied
Sandip. "Is there a greater force than greed? It is the steed
of the great ones of the earth, as is the elephant, Airauat, the
steed of Indra. So then these jewels are mine?"
As Sandip took up and replaced the casket under his cloak, Amulya
rushed in. There were dark rings under his eyes, his lips were
dry, his hair tumbled: the freshness of his youth seemed to have
withered in a single day. Pangs gripped my heart as I looked on
him.
"My box!" he cried, as he went straight up to Sandip without a
glance at me. "Have you taken that jewel-box from my trunk?"
"Your jewel-box?" mocked Sandip.
"It was my trunk!"
Sandip burst out into a laugh. "Your distinctions between mine
and yours are getting rather thin, Amulya," he cried. "You will
die a religious preacher yet, I see."
Amulya sank on a chair with his face in his hands. I went up to
him and placing my hand on his head asked him: "What is your
trouble, Amulya?"
He stood straight up as he replied: "I had set my heart, Sister
Rani, on returning your jewels to you with my own hand. Sandip
Babu knew this, but he forestalled me."
"What do I care for my jewels?" I said. "Let them go. No harm
is done.
"Go? Where?" asked the mystified boy.
"The jewels are mine," said Sandip. "Insignia bestowed on me by
my Queen!"
"No, no, no," broke out Amulya wildly. "Never, Sister Rani! I
brought them back for you. You shall not give them away to
anybody else."
"I accept your gift, my little brother," said I. "But let him,
who hankers after them, satisfy his greed."
Amulya glared at Sandip like a beast of prey, as he growled:
"Look here, Sandip Babu, you know that even hanging has no
terrors for me. If you dare take away that box of jewels ..."
With an attempt at a sarcastic laugh Sandip said: "You also ought
to know by this time, Amulya, that I am not the man to be afraid
of you."
"Queen Bee," he went on, turning to me, "I did not come here
today to take these jewels, I came to give them to you. You
would have done wrong to take my gift at Amulya's hands. In
order to prevent it, I had first to make them clearly mine. Now
these my jewels are my gift to you. Here they are! Patch up any
understanding with this boy you like. I must go. You have been
at your special talks all these days together, leaving me out of
them. If special happenings now come to pass, don't blame me.
"Amulya," he continued, "I have sent on your trunks and things to
your lodgings. Don't you be keeping any belongings of yours in
my room any longer." With this parting shot, Sandip flung out of
the room.