["Wars of the future will be waged in the air...cities will be
laid waste in a night."--_Press._]
_April 20, 1940._--Liberia, in a moment of Ministerial exuberance,
sends a Note to China alleging the death of a Krooboy subject who had
been forced to study the Chinese language. An indemnity of £100,000,000
is asked.
_April 22._--China, mildly surprised, promises investigation. Owing to
an oversight, however, the reply is sent in Chinese characters, which
gives the Liberians a just _casus belli_.
_April 23._--Liberia despatches her one airship to China _viâ_ Tibet.
Many bombs are dropped on the Chinese Empire and several rice-fields
are quite spoilt. The Chinese Ambassador, whom the airship conveyed
from Liberia, is also dropped--and spoilt.
_April 24._--China sends four airships to bomb Liberia. These, however,
are unable to locate the Black Republic and return, after dispensing
with the company of the Liberian Ambassador while over Lake Chad.
_April 26._--China addresses a curt Note to Liberia, requesting her to
be good enough to state her exact whereabouts.
_May 1._--The Grand Lama directs a plaintive Note to Liberia, alleging
that on April 23 a Liberian airship violated the neutrality of Tibet.
_May 3._--Liberia, never having heard of Tibet, but believing the G.L.
to be a species of camel and a great fetish, publishes an apology
in _The Liberian Times (and Advertiser)_, which, however, does not
circulate in Tibet.
_May 4._--China, after exhaustive inquiries, despatches another
air-fleet, but again fails to locate her quarry.
_May 5._--Liberia again raids China by air. Some stones in the Great
Wall are badly chipped.
_May 7._--Liberia issues her first official communiqué through the
medium of _The Liberian Times (and Advertiser)_:--"On the night of
May 5-6 our Naval and Military airship attacked the Chinese cities
of Pekin, Hankow and others too intricate of pronunciation to be
mentioned here. Incendiary and explosive bombs were dropped on the
fortifications, gun emplacements, waterworks and waxworks at Pekin. A
battery and many hens were silenced at Hankow. Our entire air-fleet
returned safely and hurriedly."
_May 9._--The G.L. of Tibet sends another Note to Liberia, protesting
against a further grave infringement of neutrality, several eggs of
dubious quality and the remnants of an unsavoury stew having been
dropped from a Liberian airship on Tibetan territory on the night of
May 5-6.
_May 11._--Liberia publishes another apology, and sacks her air _chef_.
_May 13._--Two squadrons of Chinese airships scour the globe but cannot
find Liberia. Several are forced to land in the Arctic Circle and are
interned by the Esquimaux.
_May 15._--The G.L. of Tibet sends another Note to Liberia.
_May 16._--Liberia, owing to a paper shortage, makes no reply.
_May 17._--Liberia adopts the Group System.
_May 18._--Introduction of "starring and badging" in Liberia. Owing to
a slight miscalculation all trades and professions are "reserved."
_May 19._--Liberia abandons Group System.
_May 24._--Liberia again despatches her airship to China _viâ_ Tibet.
The raider falls in flames near the Forbidden City, the commander
having been rather careless with his cigar in one of the gas chambers.
_May 25._--The G.L. of Tibet buys a typewriter and some carbon sheets,
and begins a campaign of daily Notes to Liberia.
_May 26_-June 5.--Liberia lies low.
_June 7._--China, after fifteen futile attempts to locate Liberia, sues
for peace, asking Liberia to send an envoy who will be able to guide
airships carrying Peace delegates and the first instalment of indemnity
to Liberia.
_July 12._--Ten Chinese airships, loaded with Peace delegates and
money, and piloted by the Liberian envoy, travel to the Black Republic.
Arrived over the much-sought country, the Peace delegates drop their
pilot and aid the airships' crews in wiping Liberia off the face of the
earth.
_July 14._--The G.L. of Tibet disposes of his typewriter at a
considerable loss.
* * * * *
In a Good Cause.
Mr. _Punch_ is bound to plead for THE CHILDREN'S AID COMMITTEE, who
undertake the care of the motherless children of our fighting men,
feeding and clothing them and finding homes for them in the country.
This labour of love has far outgrown the modest scope of its original
plan and now stands in urgent need of assistance. Except for a
Christmas Gifts Fund no appeal has yet been made to the public in the
Press. Mr. _Punch_ is very confident that he will not ask in vain for
help in a cause that so nearly touches the hearts of all; and that he
may rely on his many generous readers to see that this good work does
not fail, both for the children's sake and for the comfort of their
fathers who are fighting our battles.
Gifts of money and clothing, and offers of hospitality will be very
gratefully acknowledged by Miss MAXWELL-LYTE, Hon. Treasurer of The
Children's Aid Committee, 9, South Molton Street, London, W.
* * * * *
[Illustration: PUFFING BILLY.