Lord ROBERT CECIL'S comparison of the occupants of the Treasury Bench to
the monkeys at the Zoo has caused considerable excitement in Regent's
Park, and one of _Mr. Punch's_ representatives, assisted by an
interpreter, has taken the opportunity to sound some of the principal
inmates on the subject.
In the Simian section a certain amount of regret was expressed that Lord
ROBERT had not been more explicit in his comparison. Did he refer to
chimpanzees, baboons, gorillas or other species? But when all allowance
was made for this lack of precision the general impression was one of
satisfaction that a leading politician should have frankly admitted that
monkeys possessed qualities which entitled their human possessors to
high office and handsome salaries. It was felt that this admission
marked a great advance on all previous concessions to the claims of the
Simian community, and pointed irresistibly to the ultimate
grant--already long overdue--of Monkey Franchise throughout the Empire.
Baboons, it was well known, were already employed as railway porters in
Cape Colony, and chimpanzees had of late years appeared with great
success at some of the leading music-halls. In view of these facts the
further delay of the suffrage could no longer be justified. At present
we were confronted with the gross anomaly that a tailor, who was
admitted to be only the ninth part of a man, was given a vote, while the
monkey, man's ancestor, was denied even the fraction which was all that
a tailor deserved.
These views however were not shared by other _genera_ domiciled at the
Zoological Gardens. One of the oldest lions observed in a strepitous
bass that it was a great relief to him that his race had not been
degraded by any such comparisons. He had some respect for hunters, but
as for politicians he would not be seen dead with them at a pig fair.
Asked whether he had read Mr. RAMSAY MACDONALD'S account of his
lion-hunting exploits, in _The Daily Chronicle_, he professed ignorance
and even indifference. Speaking as an aristocrat he thought that a
Labour leader was not worthy to twist his tail. As for the conduct of
Mr. BERNARD SHAW in bringing lions on the stage, he thought it little
short of an outrage for an anaemic vegetarian to take liberties with the
king of the carnivora.
Considerable resentment was shown in the Ursine encampment at Mr. LLOYD
GEORGE'S somewhat disparaging reference to the bear's hug. (It will be
remembered that he compared with it the attitude of the Tories in
respect of the Finance Bill.) The CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER evidently
regarded it as an insincere caress, whereas it was a perfectly honest
expression of hostility. This attack was all the more unjust and
undeserved since the bear was a most hardworking and underpaid member of
the community. When a politician reached the top of the poll he got L400
a year. When a bear did the same he only got a penny bun.
A conversation with a leading representative of the colony of Penguins
revealed the interesting fact that they were incapable of appreciating
our Parliamentary procedure owing to their hereditary inability to sit
down.
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Illustration: _Mr. Punch's_ HOLIDAY PAGES.
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