Dr. Dill had knocked twice at the door of Miss Barrington's little
sitting-room, and no answer was returned to his summons.
“Is the dear lady at home?” asked he, blandly. But, though he waited for
some seconds, no reply came.
“Might Dr. Dill be permitted to make his compliments?”
“Yes, come in,” said a sharp voice, very much with the expression of one
wearied out by importunity. Miss Barrington gave a brief nod in return
for the profound obeisance of her visitor, and then turned again to a
large map which covered the table before her.
“I took the opportunity of my professional call here this morning--”
“How is that young man,--is anything broken?”
“I incline to say there is no fracture. The flexors, and perhaps,
indeed, the annular ligament, are the seat of all the mischief.”
“A common sprain, in fact; a thing to rest for one day, and hold under
the pump the day after.”
“The dear lady is always prompt, always energetic; but these sort of
cases are often complicated, and require nice management.”
“And frequent visits,” said she, with a dry gravity.
“All the world must live, dear lady,--all the world must live.”
“Your profession does not always sustain your theory, sir; at least,
popular scandal says you kill as many as you cure.” “I know the dear
lady has little faith in physic.”
“Say none, sir, and you will be nearer the mark; but, remember, I seek
no converts; I ask nobody to deny himself the luxuries of senna and
gamboge because I prefer beef and mutton. You wanted to see my brother,
I presume,” added she, sharply, “but he started early this morning for
Kilkenny. The Solicitor-General wanted to say a few words to him on his
way down to Cork.”
“That weary law! that weary law!” ejaculated Dill, fervently; for he
well knew with what little favor Miss Barrington regarded litigation.
“And why so, sir?” retorted she, sharply. “What greater absurdity is
there in being hypochondriac about your property than your person? My
brother's taste inclines to depletion by law; others prefer the lancet.”
“Always witty, always smart, the dear lady,” said Dill, with a sad
attempt at a smile. The flattery passed without acknowledgment of any
kind, and he resumed: “I dropped in this morning to you, dear lady, on a
matter which, perhaps, might not be altogether pleasing to you.”
“Then don't do it, sir.”
“If the dear lady would let me finish--”
“I was warning you, sir, not even to begin.”
“Yes, madam,” said he, stung into something like resistance; “but I
would have added, had I been permitted, without any due reason for
displeasure on your part.”
“And are _you_ the fitting judge of that, sir? If you know, as you say
you know, that you are about to give me pain, by what presumption do you
assert that it must be for my benefit? What's it all about?”
“I come on the part of this young gentleman, dear lady, who, having
learned--I cannot say where or how--that he is not to consider himself
here at an inn, but, as a guest, feels, with all the gratitude that the
occasion warrants, that he has no claim to the attention, and that it is
one which would render his position here too painful to persist in.”
“How did he come by this impression, sir? Be frank and tell me.”
“I am really unable to say, Miss Dinah.”
“Come, sir, be honest, and own that the delusion arose from
yourself,--yes, from yourself. It was in perceiving the courteous
delicacy with which you declined a fee that he conceived this flattering
notion of us; but go back to him, doctor, and say it is a pure mistake;
that his breakfast will cost him one shilling, and his dinner two; the
price of a boat to fetch him up to Thomastown is half a crown, and that
the earlier he orders one the better. Listen to me, sir,” said she, and
her lips trembled with passion,--“listen to me, while I speak of this
for the first and last time. Whenever my brother, recurring to what he
once was, has been emboldened to treat a passing stranger as his guest,
the choice has been so judiciously exercised as to fall upon one who
could respect the motive and not resent the liberty; but never till
this moment has it befallen us to be told that the possibility--the bare
possibility--of such a presumption should be met by a declaration of
refusal. Go back, then, to your patient, sir; assure him that he is at
an inn, and that he has the right to be all that his purse and his want
of manners can insure him.”
“Dear lady, I'm, maybe, a bad negotiator.”
“I trust sincerely, sir, you are a better doctor.”
“Nothing on earth was further from my mind than offence--”
“Very possibly, sir; but, as you are aware, blisters will occasionally
act with all the violence of caustics, so an irritating theme may be
pressed at a very inauspicious moment. My cares as a hostess are not in
very good favor with me just now. Counsel your young charge to a change
of air, and I 'll think no more of the matter.”
Had it been a queen who had spoken, the doctor could not more palpably
have felt that his audience had terminated, and his only duty was to
withdraw.
And so he did retire, with much bowing and graciously smiling, and
indicating, by all imaginable contortions, gratitude for the past and
humility forever.
I rejoice that I am not obliged to record as history the low but fervent
mutterings that fell from his lips as he closed the door after him,
and by a gesture of menace showed his feelings towards her he had just
quitted. “Insolent old woman!” he burst out as he went along, “how can
she presume to forget a station that every incident of her daily life
recalls? In the rank she once held, and can never return to, such
manners would be an outrage; but I 'll not endure it again. It is your
last triumph, Miss Dinah; make much of it.” Thus sustained by a very
Dutch courage,--for this national gift can come of passion as well as
drink,--he made his way to his patient's presence, smoothing his
brow, as he went, and recalling the medico-chimrgical serenity of his
features.
“I have not done much, but I have accomplished something,” said he,
blandly. “I am at a loss to understand what they mean by introducing
all these caprices into their means of life; but, assuredly, it will not
attract strangers to the house.”
“What are the caprices you allude to?”
“Well, it is not very easy to say; perhaps I have not expressed my
meaning quite correctly; but one thing is clear, a stranger likes to
feel that his only obligation in an inn is to discharge the bill.”
“I say, doctor,” broke in Conyers, “I have been thinking the matter
over. Why should I not go back to my quarters? There might surely be
some means contrived to convey me to the high-road; after that, there
will be no difficulty whatever.”
The doctor actually shuddered at the thought. The sportsman who sees
the bird he has just winged flutter away to his neighbor's preserve may
understand something, at least, of Dr. Dill's discomfiture as he saw his
wealthy patient threatening a departure. He quickly, therefore, summoned
to his aid all those terrors which had so often done good service
on like occasions. He gave a little graphic sketch of every evil
consequence that might come of an imprudent journey. The catalogue was
a bulky one; it ranged over tetanus, mortification, and disease of the
bones. It included every sort and description of pain as classified
by science, into “dull, weary, and incessant,” or “sharp lancinating
agony.” Now Conyers was as brave as a lion, but had, withal, one of
those temperaments which are miserably sensitive under suffering, and
to which the mere description of pain is itself an acute pang. When,
therefore, the doctor drew the picture of a case very like the present
one, where amputation came too late, Conyers burst in with, “For mercy's
sake, will you stop! I can't sit here to be cut up piece-meal; there's
not a nerve in my body you haven't set ajar.” The doctor blandly took
out his massive watch, and laid his fingers on the young man's pulse.
“Ninety-eight, and slightly intermittent,” said he, as though to
himself.
“What does that mean?” asked Conyers, eagerly.
“The irregular action of the heart implies abnormal condition of
the nervous system, and indicates, imperatively, rest, repose, and
tranquillity.”
“If lethargy itself be required, this is a capital place for it,” sighed
Conyers, drearily.
“You have n't turned your thoughts to what I said awhile ago, being
domesticated, as one might call it, in a nice quiet family, with all the
tender attentions of a home, and a little music in the evening.”
Simple as these words were, Dill gave to each of them an almost honeyed
utterance.
“No; it would bore me excessively. I detest to be looked after; I abhor
what are called attentions.”
“Unobtrusively offered,--tendered with a due delicacy and reserve?”
“Which means a sort of simpering civility that one has to smirk for
in return. No, no; I was bred up in quite a different school, where we
clapped our hands twice when we wanted a servant, and the fellow's head
paid for it if he was slow in coming. Don't tell me any more about your
pleasant family, for they 'd neither endure me, nor I them. Get me well
as fast as you can, and out of this confounded place, and I 'll give you
leave to make a vascular preparation of me if you catch me here again!”
The doctor smiled, as doctors know how to smile when patients think they
have said a smartness, and now each was somewhat on better terms with
the other.
“By the way, doctor,” said Conyers, suddenly, “you have n't told me what
the old woman said. What arrangement did you come to?”
“Your breakfast will cost one shilling, your dinner two. She made no
mention of your rooms, but only hinted that, whenever you took your
departure, the charge for the boat was half a crown.”
“Come, all this is very business-like, and to the purpose; but where, in
Heaven's name, did any man live in this fashion for so little? We have
a breakfast-mess, but it's not to be compared with this,--such a variety
of bread, such grilled trout, such a profusion of fruit. After all,
doctor, it is very like being a guest, the nominal charge being to
escape the sense of a favor. But perhaps one can do here as at one of
those 'hospices' in the Alps, and make a present at parting to requite
the hospitality.”
“It is a graceful way to record gratitude,” said the doctor, who liked
to think that the practice could be extended to other reminiscences.
“I must have my servant and my books, my pipes and my Spitz terrier.
I 'll get a target up, besides, on that cherry-tree, and practise
pistol-shooting as I sit here. Could you find out some idle fellow who
would play chess or _écarté_ with me,--a curate or a priest,--I 'm
not particular; and when my man Holt comes, I 'll make him string my
grass-mat hammock between those two elms, so that I can fish without the
bore of standing up for it. Holt is a rare clever fellow, and you 'll
see how he'll get things in order here before he's a day in the place.”
The doctor smiled again, for he saw that his patient desired to be
deemed a marvel of resources and a mine of original thought. The
doctor's smile was apportioned to his conversation, just as he added
syrups in his prescriptions. It was, as he himself called it, the
“vehicle,” without special efficacy in itself, but it aided to get down
the “active principle.” But he did more than smile. He promised all
possible assistance to carry out his patient's plans. He was
almost certain that a friend of his, an old soldier, too,--a Major
M'Cormick,--could play _écarté_, though, perhaps, it might be cribbage;
and then Father Cody, he could answer for it, was wonderful at skittles,
though, for the present, that game might not be practicable; and as for
books, the library at Woodstay was full of them, if the key could only
be come at, for the family was abroad; and, in fact, he displayed a most
generous willingness to oblige, although, when brought to the rude test
of reality, his pictures were only dissolving views of pleasures to
come.
When he took his leave at last, he left Conyers in far better spirits
than he found him. The young fellow had begun to castle-build about how
he should pass his time, and in such architecture there is no room for
ennui. And what a rare organ must constructiveness be, when even in its
mockery it can yield such pleasure! We are very prone to envy the rich
man, whose wealth sets no limit to his caprices; but is not a rich
fancy, that wondrous imaginative power which unweariedly invents new
incidents, new personages, new situations, a very covetable possession?
And can we not, in the gratification of the very humblest exercise of
this quality, rudely approximate to the ecstasy of him who wields it
in all its force? Not that Fred Conyers was one of these; he was a mere
tyro in the faculty, and could only carry himself into a region where
he saw his Spitz terrier jump between the back rails of a chair, and
himself sending bullet after bullet through the very centre of the
bull's eye.
Be it so. Perhaps you and I, too, my reader, have our Spitz terrier and
bull's-eye days, and, if so, let us be grateful for them.