Since trifles make the sum of human things....
Oh! let the ungentle spirit learn from thence,
A small unkindness is a great offense:
Large favors to bestow we strive in vain,
But all may shun the guilt of giving pain.
HANNAH MORE.
If Lettice had made her reflections, and had started upon her new
undertaking with a heart yearning with the desire to perform its duties
well, Mrs. Melwyn had not been without undergoing a somewhat similar
process upon her side, and this was her course of thought:
"She had at first felt the utmost dislike to the plan.
"She had, in the course of her life, seen so much discomfort and
dissatisfaction arise upon both sides from this sort of connection, that
she had taken up quite a prejudice against any thing of the sort.
"It was a very great pity," she often said to herself, "that so it
should be, but the case was almost universal. If it could be otherwise,
what desirable connections might be formed in a world such as the
present! Such numbers of women of all ages, and all degrees of mental
qualifications, find themselves suddenly without resource, through the
accident of early death in the case of the professions, or of disaster
in commercial life; and so many others, through disease or advanced age,
or the still more cruel stroke of death, find themselves stranded,
lonely, and deserted, and languishing for a fireside friend. What
comfortable, beneficial unions might be brought about in such cases, one
should think; and yet why did they never or seldom turn out well?
"Faults there must be. Where did they lie?--On both sides," answered her
understanding. "Not surely alone upon the side of the new comer--the
paid one, consequently the obliged one, consequently the only one of the
parties who had duties that she was pledged to perform, and which, it is
true, she too often very imperfectly performed--but also upon the other.
She, it is true, is pledged to nothing but the providing meat, lodging,
and salary; but that will not dispense her from obligations as a
Christian, and as a member of the universal sisterhood, which are not
quite so easily discharged.
"It must double the difficulty to the new comer," thought Mrs. Melwyn,
"the being treated so carelessly as she too often is. How hard it must
be to perform duties such as hers, if they are not performed in love!
and how impossible it must be to love in such a case--unless we meet
with love. Even to be treated with consideration and kindness will not
suffice upon the one side, nor the most scrupulous endeavor to
discharge duty upon the other--people must try to _love_.
"How soothing to a poor, deserted orphan to be taken to the heart! How
sweet to forlorn old age to find a fresh object of affection! Ah, but
then these sort of people seem often so disagreeable, do one's best, one
can not love or like them! But why do they seem so disagreeable? Partly
because people will overlook nothing--have no mutual indulgence in
relations which require so much. If one's child has little ways one does
not quite like, who thinks of hating her for it? If one's mother is a
little provoking and tedious under the oppressive weight of years or
sickness, who thinks of making a great hardship of it? But if the poor,
humble friend is only a little awkward or ungainly, she is odious; and
if the poor, deserted mother, or widow, wife, or aged suffering creature
is a little irritable or tedious, she is _such_ a tyrant!
"Oh how I wish!...
"Well, Catherine is a sensible, well-judging creature, and she assures
me this Miss Arnold is a remarkably sweet-tempered, affectionate,
modest, judicious girl. Why should I not try to make such a being love
me? Why should we not be very happy together? There is Randall, to be
sure, sets herself extremely against it; but, as Catherine says, 'Is
Randall to be mistress in this family, or am I?' It is come quite to
that point. And then it will be a great thing to have somebody between
me and Randall. She will not be so necessary to me then, whatever she
may be to the general; and when she makes herself so disagreeable, if
this young lady is as comfortable to me as Catherine says she will be, I
really shall not so much care.
"Then," continuing her meditations, which, though I put down in black
and white, were _thought_, not spoken, "then Catherine says she is so
greatly to be pitied, and is so exemplary; and she said, in her darling,
coaxing way, 'dear mamma, it will give you so much pleasure to make the
poor thing a little amends for all her hardships, and if poor papa is a
little cross at times, it will be quite an interest to you to contrive
to make up for it. She will be quite a daughter to you, and, in one
respect, you will have more pleasure in making her happy than even in
your own loving daughter, because one is dear from our natural
affections, and the other will be so from generous beneficence; and
though natural affection is such a sweet, precious, inestimable thing,
generous beneficence is yet nobler, and brings us still nearer to God.'
"If I could make her love me!--and with such an affectionate temper why
should I not? She wants a parent, I want a child. If I study her
happiness disinterestedly, kindly, truly, she can not help loving me;
but I will not even think of myself, I will try to study _her_ good,
_her_ well-being; and I will let the love for me come or not as it may,
and God will help me. He always does help me--when I have the courage to
dare to forget myself, and leave the issues of things to His
Providence."
Such were the dispositions upon both sides with which the two met. But
the best resolutions win no battle. They are part, and a very serious
part of every undertaking, but they are far from being all. We are so
imperfect ourselves, and we have to do with such imperfect beings, that
evils and difficulties, unexpected, are sure to arise in our
communication with others, even when both sides meet with the very best
intentions; therefore, whoever intends to carry out such good
intentions, and make a right piece of work of it, must calculate upon
these things, just as the mechanic is obliged to make a large allowance
for unavoidable obstructions in carrying out any of his theories into
action and reality--into useful, every-day working order.
In due time, a fly from the railway--one of those dirty, hired carriages
which are the disgrace of England--deposited Miss Arnold and her luggage
at the door of General Melwyn's handsome mansion of the Hazels, and in
all due form and order she was introduced into the dining-room. It was
between six and seven o'clock in the evening when she entered the very
handsomely furnished apartment, where, over a half-and-half sort of
fire--it having been rather a warm February day--sat the general and his
lady.
Lettice was tired, heated, and red with the jumbling of the railway, the
bother at the station, and the knocking about in the very uneasy
carriage in which she had come up; and she felt in that disagreeable
sort of journey disorder of toilet, which makes people feel and look so
awkward. But she put the best face upon the matter, and entering, made a
very respectful courtesy to Mrs. Melwyn, who met her, holding out her
hand; and with her face and appearance Lettice felt charmed in a moment.
Mrs. Melwyn, who did not want penetration, saw that in Lettice, spite of
present disadvantages, which she was sure she should like very much. Not
so the general. He was a perfect fool of the eye, as military men are
too apt to be. Whatever was awkward or ill-dressed, was perfectly
abhorrent to him; and he took a dislike to "the creature" the moment he
cast his eyes upon her.
* * * * *
It seemed but an unpromising beginning.
The heart of poor Lettice sunk within her in a way she was little
accustomed to, as the general, in a very pettish mood, stirred the fire,
and said. "When _are_ we to have dinner, Mrs. Melwyn? What _are_ we
waiting for? Will you never teach that cook of yours to be punctual?"
"It is not her fault, indeed," was the answer, in a low, timid voice; "I
ventured to order dinner to be put off half an hour, to suit the railway
time."
The general was too well bred to utter what he very plainly looked--that
to have been thus kept waiting for Miss Arnold he thought a very
unwarrantable proceeding indeed.
He stirred up the fire with additional vigor--made it blaze
fiercely--then complained of these abominable coals, which burned like
touchwood, and had no heat in them, and wondered whether Mrs. Melwyn
would ever have the energy to order sea-borne coal, as he had desired;
and then, casting a most ungracious look at the new comer, who stood
during this scene, feeling shocked and uncomfortable to a degree, he
asked Mrs. Melwyn "how long she intended to keep the young lady standing
there before she dressed for dinner?" and suggested that the housemaid
should be sent for, to show her to her room.
"I will take that office upon myself," said Mrs. Melwyn. "Come, Miss
Arnold, will you follow me?" And lighting a candle, for it was now dark,
she proceeded toward the door.
"For heaven's sake, don't be long!" said her husband, in an irritable
tone; "it's striking six and three quarters. _Is_ dinner to be upon the
table at seven o'clock, or is it not?"
"Punctually."
"Then, Miss--Miss--I beg your pardon--and Mrs. Melwyn, I _hope_ you will
be ready to take your usual place at table."
They heard no more; for Mrs. Melwyn closed the door, with the air of one
escaping--and, looking uncomfortable and half frightened, led the way
up-stairs.
It was a pretty, cheerful little room, of which she opened the door; and
a pleasant fire was blazing in the grate. The bed was of white dimity,
trimmed with a border of colored chintz, as were the window-curtains;
the carpet quite new, and uncommonly pretty; chairs, dressing-table,
writing-table, all very neat and elegant; and the tables comfortably
covered each with its proper appendages.
It was quite a pretty little den.
Mrs. Melwyn had taken much pleasure in the fitting up of this small
room, which was next to her own dressing-room. She had fancied herself
going to receive into it a second Catherine: and though the very
moderate amount of money of which she had the power of disposing as she
pleased, and the noisy remonstrances and objections of Randall, had
prevented her indulging in many petty fancies which would have amused
and occupied her pleasantly since the dismal day of Catherine's wedding,
still she had persisted, contrary to her wont, in having in some degree
her own way. So, in spite of all Randall could do, she had discarded the
ugly old things--which the lady's maid, excessively jealous of this new
comer, declared were more than too good for such as her--and had
substituted this cheerful simplicity; and the air of freshness and
newness cast over every thing rendered it particularly pleasing.
"What a beautiful little room!" Lettice could not help exclaiming,
looking excessively delighted. She liked pretty things, and elegant
little comforts as well as any body, did Lettice, though they seldom
fell to her share, because she was always for giving them up to other
people.
"Do you like it, my dear?" said Mrs. Melwyn, in what Lettice thought the
sweetest, softest voice she had ever heard. "I have taken great pleasure
in getting it ready for you; I shall be glad, indeed, if you can make
yourself happy in it."
"Happy! Who could help being happy in such a paradise?" "And with such a
sweet, gentle, charming person as Mrs. Melwyn," mentally added Lettice.
"What matters it how cross the poor old general is," thought she.
"But, my dear, I don't see your trunks. Will you ring the bell for them?
The general must not be kept waiting for his dinner, and he can not
endure those who sit down at his table, either to be too late, or not to
be in an evening dress. Military men, you know, are so used to this sort
of precision, that they expect it from all around them. You will
remember another day, my dear, and--" then the under housemaid opened
the door. "Tell them to bring up Miss Arnold's trunks directly."
_Them._
She did not at that moment exactly know which was the proper servant
whose office it ought to be to carry Miss Arnold's trunks. Miss Arnold
was an anomaly. There was no precedent. Not a servant in this family
would stir without a precedent. The trunk was probably too heavy for the
under-housemaid to carry up--that under-housemaid, one of the fags of an
establishment like this, kept merely to do what the upper-servants are
too fine to do. In households like the one before us, you must have two
in every department--there is a chance, then, if you want any thing
done, you may get it done. The under-servant is always, as I said, a
sort of fag or slave in the eyes of the upper ones. They will _allow_
her to make herself useful, though it should not be exactly _her place_.
Mrs. Melwyn had provided for the attendance upon Miss Arnold by having
recourse to this said under-housemaid, and adding a couple of sovereigns
to her wages unknown to Randall, but she had forgotten the carrying up
of her trunk. Had it been Catherine, this would have been done as a
matter of course by the two footmen, and she had a sort of faint hope
they would do it of course now. But, she did not like to ask such a
thing, so she said "_them_;" hoping somebody would answer to it some way
or other, but--
"Who?" asked Bridget bringing the matter to a point.
"Why, I am sure I don't exactly know. Who is there below? I suppose you
could not carry them up yourself, Bridget?"
"I am afraid not, ma'am; there's only one trunk, and it looks heavy."
"Oh!" cried Lettice, "I can come and help you. We can carry it up
together, for Myra and I carried it down together." And she was quitting
the room. But Mrs. Melwyn laid her hand upon her shoulder.
"No, my dear, upon no account; Bridget, fetch up the gardener's boy,
he'll help you to carry the trunk up."
Mrs. Melwyn looked excessively annoyed and distressed: Lettice could not
imagine what could be the matter.
The gentle, kind lady seemed nervous and embarrassed. At last, evidently
making a very great effort with herself, she got out, "Excuse me, my
dear, but there is a little thing.... I would rather not, if you please
... servants are so insolent, you know they are ill brought up; if you
please, my dear, it will be better _not_ to offer to do things for
yourself, which young ladies don't usually undertake to do; such as
carrying up trunks. And then, I think, it will be better not to allude
to past circumstances, servants are apt to have such a contempt for
people that have not been very rich. It's very strange and wrong, but so
it is. You will be more comfortable, I think, if you maintain your own
dignity. I hope you will not be hurt at me for giving you this little
hint, Miss Arnold."
"Hurt! Oh, madam!" And Lettice could not forbear taking up the beautiful
white hand of this most fair and delicate woman, and kissing it with the
most respectful reverence. "Whatever you will be so very kind as to
suggest to me I will so carefully attend to, and I shall be so much
obliged to you."
How sweet was this gentle manner to poor Mrs. Melwyn! She began to feel
lightened from quite a load of anxiety. She began to believe, that
happen what would, she should never be _afraid_ of Lettice. "Catherine
was quite right; oh, what a comfort it would be!"
"Well then," she continued, with more cheerfulness, "I will go away and
see that your things are sent up to you, for there is no time to be
lost. Bless me! it's striking seven. You never _can_ be ready. Oh! here
it comes! I forgot to tell you that Bridget is to answer your bell and
wait upon you. I have settled all that--you will find her quite good
natured and attentive; she's really an obliging girl."
And so she was. The upper housemaid took care to preserve strict
discipline, and exact prompt obedience in her own department, whatever
the mistress of the mansion might do in hers.
"Well, then, I will leave you and make your excuses to the general, and
you will follow me to the dining-room as soon as you can. We must not
keep dinner waiting any longer. You will excuse that ceremony, I am
sure. The general is an invalid, you know, and these matters are
important to his health."
And so saying, she glided away, leaving Lettice almost too much
astonished to be delighted with all this consideration and
kindness--things to which she had been little accustomed. But the
impression she received, upon the whole, was very sweet. The face and
manner of Mrs. Melwyn were so excessively soft; her very dress, the
color of her hair, her step, her voice; every thing spoke so much
gentleness. Lettice thought her the loveliest being she had ever met
with. More charming even than Catherine--more attaching even than Mrs.
Danvers. She felt very much inclined to adore her.
She was but a very few hours longer in the house before pity added to
this rising feeling of attachment; and I believe there is nothing
attaches the inferior to the superior like pity.
Dressed in one of her best new dresses, and with her hair done up as
neatly as she possibly could in that hurry, Lettice made her way to the
dining-room.
It was a large, lofty, very handsome, and rather awfully _resounding_
room, with old family pictures upon every side. There was a sideboard
set out sparkling with glass and plate; a small table in the middle of
the apartment with silver covers and dishes shining in the light of four
wax candles; a blazing fire, a splendid Indian screen before the door;
two footmen in liveries of pink and white, and a gentleman in a black
suit, waiting. The general and Mrs. Melwyn were seated opposite to each
other at table.
The soup had been already discussed, and the first course was set upon
the table when Miss Arnold entered.
Had she been a young lady born, an obsequious footman would have been
ready to attend her to her seat, and present her with a chair: as it
was, she would have been spared this piece of etiquette, and she was
making her way to her chair without missing the attention, when the
general, who observed his saucy footmen standing lounging about, without
offering to move forward, frowned in what Lettice thought a most
alarming way, and said in a stern voice, and significant manner, "What
are you about?" to the two footmen. This piece of attention was bestowed
upon her to her surprise and to Mrs. Melwyn's great satisfaction.
"We thought you would excuse us. The soup has been set aside for you,"
said the lady of the house.
"Oh, thank you, ma'am, pray don't trouble yourself."
"Give Miss Arnold soup."
Again in a stern, authoritative voice from the General. Mrs. Melwyn was
used to the sternness, and most agreeably surprised at the politeness,
and quite grateful for it. Lettice thought the voice and look too
terrible to take pleasure in any thing connected with it.
She had no need to feel gratitude either--it was not done out of
consideration for her. The general, who, with the exception of Randall,
kept, as far as he was concerned, every servant in the utmost
subservience, did not choose that any one who had the honor of a seat at
his table should be neglected by those "rascals," as he usually styled
his footmen.
* * * * *
It being the first evening, Mrs. Melwyn had too much politeness to
require Miss Arnold to enter upon those after-dinner duties, the
performance of which had been expressly stipulated for by Catherine;
stipulated for, not only with Lettice, but with the general himself.
She has made her father promise that he would suffer this young lady to
undertake the place of reader--which Catherine had herself filled for
some time, to the inexpressible relief of her mother--and that Miss
Arnold should be permitted to try whether she could play well enough at
backgammon to make an adversary worth vanquishing.
He had grumbled and objected, as a matter of course, to this
arrangement, but had finally consented. However, he was not particularly
impatient to begin; and besides, he was habitually a well-bred man, so
that any duty which came under his category of good manners he
punctually performed. People are too apt to misprize this sort of
politeness of mere habit; yet, as far as it goes, it is an excellent
thing. It enhances the value of a really kind temper in all the domestic
relations, to an incalculable degree--a degree little appreciated by
some worthy people, who think roughness a proof of sincerity, and that
rudeness marks the honest truth of their affections. And where there is
little kindness of nature, and a great deal of selfishness and
ill-tempered indulgence, as in this cross, old man before us, still the
habit of politeness was not without avail; it kept him in a certain
check, and certainly rendered him more tolerable. He was not quite such
a brute bear as he would have been, left to his uncorrected nature.
Politeness is, and ought to be, a habit so confirmed, that we exercise
it instinctively--without consideration, without attention, without
effort, as it were; this is the very essence of the sort of politeness I
am thinking of. It takes it out of the category of the virtues, it is
true, but it places it in that of the qualities; and, in some matters,
good qualities are almost as valuable, almost more valuable, than if
they still continued among the virtues--and this of politeness, in my
opinion, is one.
By virtues, I mean acts which are performed with a certain difficulty,
under the sense of responsibility to duty, under the self-discipline of
right principle; by qualities, I mean what is spontaneous.
Constitutional good qualities are spontaneous. Such as natural sweetness
of temper--natural delicacy of feeling--natural intrepidity; others are
the result of habit, and end by being spontaneous--by being a second
nature: justly are habits called so. Gentleness of tone and
manner--attention to conventional proprieties--to people's little wants
and feelings--are of these. This same politeness being a sort of summary
of such, I will end this little didactic digression by advising all
those who have the rearing of the young in their hands, carefully to
form them in matters of this description, so that they shall attain
_habits_--so that the delicacy of their perceptions, the gentleness of
their tones and gestures, the propriety of their dress, the politeness
of their manners, shall become spontaneous acts, done without reference
to self, as things of course. By which means, not only much that is
disagreeable to their is avoided, and much that is amiable attained,
but a great deal of reference to self is in after life escaped; and
temptations to the faults of vanity--pride--envious comparisons with our
neighbors, and the feebleness of self-distrust very considerably
diminished.
And so, to return, the politeness of the general and Mrs. Melwyn led to
this result, the leaving Miss Arnold undisturbed to make her reflections
and her observations, before commencing the task which Mrs. Melwyn, for
the last time, undertook for her, of reading the newspaper and playing
the hit.
Lettice could not help feeling rejoiced to be spared this sort of public
exhibition of her powers, till she was in a slight degree better
acquainted with her ground; and she was glad to know, without being
directly told, what it was customary to do in these respects. But in
every other point of view, she had better, perhaps, have been reader
than listener. For, if she gained a lesson as to the routine to be
followed, she paid for it by receiving at the same time, a considerably
alarming impression of the general's ways of proceeding.
"Shall I read the newspaper this evening?" began Mrs. Melwyn, timidly.
"I don't care if you do," roughly.
Polite men, be it observed, _en passant_, do not at all make it a rule
to exercise that habit to their wives. The wife is a thing apart from
the rest of the world, out of the category of such proprieties. To be
rude to his wife is no impeachment of a man's gentleman-like manners at
all.
"Is there any thing worth reading in it?"
"I am sure I don't know what you will think worth reading. Shall I begin
with the leading article?"
"What is it all about?"
"I am sure I can't say."
"Can't you look?"
"The sugar question, I think."
"Well, what has the fool to say about that?"
"The speech of Lord **** last night upon the much discussed subject of
the sugar question, has no doubt been read and commented upon, in their
various ways, and according to their different impressions--shall we say
prejudices?--by our readers. The performance, it is upon all hands
agreed, was masterly, and, as far as eloquence is concerned, that the
accomplished statesman who uttered this remarkable speech did only
justice to..."
"Well--well--well--_well_," in a sneering tone--"I really do wonder how
long you could go on droning and dinning, and dinning and droning such
palpably empty editorial nonsense as that into a man's ears. Now, I
would be glad to ask you--merely to ask you, as a rational woman, Mrs.
Melwyn--what possible amusement or profit can be drawn from a long
exordium which says absolutely nothing--tells one absolutely nothing but
what every one knew before--stuff with which all editors of newspapers
seem to think it necessary to preface their remarks. What in the name
of--is the use of wasting your breath and my patience--can't you skip?
Are you a mere reading machine, madam?"
"Shall I pass on to the next subject?"
"No, that's not my meaning--if you could take a meaning. What I want is
only what every rational person expects when these confounded
lucubrations of a stupid newspaper editor are read up--that the reader
will have the sense to leave all these useless phrases and useless
syllables out, and give the pith and marrow to the listener. Well--well,
never mind--if you can't, you can't: get on, at all events."
Mrs. Melwyn colored faintly, looked nervous and uneasy--glanced down the
columns of the newspaper, and hesitated.
"Well--can't you go on? What's the use of sitting there looking like a
child of six years old, who's afraid of being whipped? If you can't, you
can't--if you haven't the sense you haven't, but for ---- sake get on."
"'Mr. **** rose, and in a manner upon which we can not exactly bestow
our approbation, but which, nevertheless, seemed to us in an
unaccountable manner to obtain the ear and the attention of a very
crowded house, &c., &c.'"
"There you are again! why the deuce can't you pass over all that, and
tell us what the confounded blockheads on that side did really say?"
"I read this debate to you yesterday, you know. These are only the
editor's remarks upon it. Shall I give you the summary of last night's
debate?"
"No, let's hear what the fool says upon this cursed sugar question. He's
against the measure, that's one comfort."
"He does not seem to be so exactly," glancing down the page.
"I'll take the liberty of judging that matter myself, Mrs. Melwyn, if
you'll only be so particularly obliging as to read on."
Which she did. Now reproached for reading in such a low, cluttering
manner, with that d----d soft voice of hers, that it was impossible to
hear; and when she raised it, asked, "What the deuce was the use of
shouting so as to be heard by the fellows in the servants' hall?"
In this style the newspaper was at last, for better for worse, blundered
through, in the most uncomfortable manner possible, by the terrified
reader.
Lettice sat by, deeply attentive. She was a brave, high-spirited girl,
and she did not feel dismayed; her predominant sentiment was
self-congratulation that she should be able to spare that sweet, soft,
kind Mrs. Melwyn the ungrateful task.
She sat observing, and laying down her own plans of proceeding. It was
not the first time in her life she had been exposed to what is called
scolding; a thing every day, I verily believe--and am most happy to do
so--going more and more out of fashion, though still retained, as a
_habit_, by many people otherwise well-meaning enough. It was retained
in its full vigor by the general, who was not well-meaning at all; he
usually meant nothing on earth by what he did, but the indulgence of the
present humor, good, bad, or indifferent. Lettice had lived in a sphere
of life where this sort of domestic violence used to be very common; and
she had learned to bear it, even from the lips of those she loved, with
patience. She knew this very well, and she thought to herself, "if I
could get into the habit of hardly caring for it from those very near
and dear to me, surely it will be easy enough to meet it with
indifference from a poor, cross, peevish, suffering old man, whom I
don't care for in the least. The way must be, to get into the habit of
it from the first, to let the words
"Pass by me as the idle wind which I regard not."
I must put all my vanity, all my spirit, all my own little tempers,
quietly out of the way; and never trouble myself with what he says, but
go reading on in the best way I can, to please him, but with the most
unruffled outward appearance of tranquillity; and the utmost secret
indifference as to whether I succeed or not. He shall be sooner tired of
scolding, than I of looking as if I never heard it. He'll give over if I
can persevere, instead of looking all colors and all ways, as that dear,
gentle Mrs. Melwyn does."
The trial at backgammon was, if such a thing could be, worse. It seemed
as if it was impossible to give satisfaction here. The general not only
played his own game, but insisted upon playing that of his adversary;
and was by turns angry at her stupidity in missing an advantage through
want of skill, asking, "What could be the possible interest or pleasure
of playing with such a mere child?" and vexed, if the plan he pointed
out ended in his own discomfiture, for he could not bear to lose.
Backgammon, too, was an unlucky game to be played with one of a temper
such as his. Every favorable throw of the dice, it is true, filled him
with a disagreeable sarcastic exultation; but a positively bad one, and
still more, a succession of bad ones, drove him furious. After a long
course of provoking throws, such as sometimes happen, he would seem half
mad, storm, curse, and swear, in the most ridiculous, if it had not been
blasphemous, manner; and sometimes end by banging the tables together,
and vowing he would never play at this confounded game again as long as
he lived.
There was an exhibition of this sort that very evening. Mrs. Melwyn
looked much distressed, and almost ashamed, as she glanced at Lettice to
see how she took it; but Lettice appeared to be too much engaged with a
knot in her netting to seem to take it at all, which evidently relieved
Mrs. Melwyn. The scene had not, however, been lost upon our friend, who
had observed it with a smile of secret contempt.
Mentally, however, congratulating herself upon her good, robust nerves;
such things, she well knew, being perilous to those cursed with
delicacy of that sort. The best endeavors, the best intentions, would
be without avail in such cases, such sufferers would find their powers
of endurance destroyed by these successive acts of violence, till it
would be impossible to meet them tolerably. Again she looked at Mrs.
Melwyn, and with great pity. Again she rejoiced in the idea of saving
her from what she perceived was indeed, to such a frame and temper as
hers, a source of very great suffering; and again she resolved to keep
up her own spirits, and maintain the only true defense, courage and
indifference. She felt sure, if she could only, by a little effort, do
this for a short time, the effort would terminate in a habit; after
which it would cost her little or nothing more.
The general, though polite to Lettice in their first communications,
held her in far too little esteem to care one doit what he did or said
before her. He was an excessively proud man; and the idea that a girl,
so greatly his inferior in every way, should keep him in check, or
venture even to make a remark upon him, far less presume to judge his
conduct, never entered his head. I wonder what he would have felt, if he
could have been made aware of that secret smile.
Now a tray with wine, spirits, and water, was introduced. The general
took his accustomed glass of whisky and water, then opened his
cigar-box, and began to smoke. This process invariably made Mrs. Melwyn
feel rather sick, and she rose this evening to go away; but being asked
what she was moving for, she resumed her seat, and sat till two cigars
had been smoked, and the clock told half-past ten; when, as the general
loved early hours, she was suffered to take her departure.
The servant entered with lighted candles. Mrs. Melwyn took one, and bade
him give Miss Arnold another; and they went up stairs together.
"Good night, my dear," said the lady of the house, with a wearied, worn
air, and a tone in which there was a good deal of sadness.
She never could get used to these scenes, poor thing; every time the
general was cross she felt it acutely; he had grown dreadfully cross
since Catherine married. Mrs. Melwyn hardly knew what to do with him, or
how to bear it.
"Good night, my dear, I hope you will sleep comfortably."
"Can I be of any further use to you, madam, to-night."
"Oh, no, thank you; don't come into my dressing-room--Randall is very
particular: she considers _that_ her own territory. She does not like
any one to come in, especially at night; but just let me look whether
your fire burns," she added, entering Lettice's room.
The fire was blazing merrily; Mrs. Melwyn put her candle down upon the
chimney-piece, and stood there a little while before it, looking again
irresolute. It seemed as if she wished, and did not know how, to say
something. Lettice stood at a short distance, respectfully expectant.
"I declare it's very cold to-night," with a little shiver.
"I did not feel it cold, but then this is so thoroughly comfortable a
house."
"Do you think so? Shall you find it so? The wind comes sharply down the
passages sometimes, but I wish, I hope, you won't care much for that ...
or ... or ... or ... any little painful things; they can't be helped,
you know, in this world."
"Ah, madam! if I may venture to say so, there is one good thing one gets
out of great hardships--little things do seem so _very_ little
afterward."
"Ay, if they are really little, but--"
"Things that are ... that don't seem little to people of more gentle
nurture, who have lived in a different way, seem, and are, little to
those who have roughed it till they are themselves roughened. That was
what I intended to say. One is so very happy to escape dreadful, real,
positive distress, that all the rest is like mere play."
Mrs. Melwyn looked at her in a pensive, anxious, inquiring manner. She
wanted to see if she was understood; she saw that she was. She saw
something truly heartening and encouraging in the young girl's
countenance. She shook hands with her and bade her good night very
affectionately, and went to her own dressing-room.
Randall was as cross that night as it was possible for the most
tyrannical servant to be, but some way or other, Mrs. Melwyn did not
feel as if she cared for it _quite_ so much as usual; she had her mind
filled with the image of Lettice. Something so very nice about her--she
thought to herself--in one respect even better than Catherine. She
should not be so afraid of her being distressed by disagreeable things;
she should venture to tell her about Randall, and other vexations which
she had carefully concealed from Catherine, lest they should make her
unhappy. Thus she represented it to herself: the truth was, lest
Catherine should make a point of Randall being parted with, an effort
she knew herself quite incompetent to make.
She should be able to complain of Randall, without feeling that she
should be urged to conquer her weakness, and part with her. There was
something very comfortable in this; so Randall pouted away, and Mrs.
Melwyn heeded it not very much, not nearly so much as usual; and when
Randall perceived this, she was excessively offended, and more and more
cross and disagreeable. She had quite quickness enough to perceive how
much her despotism must be weakened by the rule being thus divided, and
she saw even so early something of the effects she deprecated. The
observation, however, did not tend to soften her or to render her more
obliging, it was not the least in her plan to contend with the new comer
in this way; she meant to meet her, and her mistress, with open
defiance, and bear both down by main force.