CONCERNING A HANDFUL OF PEBBLES
"And so," said Hermione, as she waved good-by to Hazel, who stood in the
cottage doorway with Mrs. Bowker--a Mrs. Bowker no longer faded, "you
didn't forget even the doll that says 'Mamma'?"
"It was such a little thing!" he answered.
"What a--man you are!" she said softly.
"Just that, Hermione," he answered, "and--frightfully human!" She was
silent. "Do you know what I mean?" he demanded, glancing at her averted
face.
"Yes!" she answered, without looking around. So they walked for awhile
in silence. Suddenly he seized her hand and drew it through his arm.
"Hermione," he said gently, "I want my wife."
She still kept her head averted, but he could feel how she was
trembling.
"And you think--" she began softly.
"That I have been patient long enough. I have waited and hoped
because--"
"Because you are so generous, so kind--such a man!" she said softly and
with head still averted.
"And yet since I have been well again, you have kept me at arm's length.
Dear, you--love me still, don't you?"
"Love you?" she repeated, "love you?" For a moment she turned and looked
up at him then drew her arm from his and walked on with head averted
once more. So they entered the rose garden and coming to the lily pool
leaned there side by side.
"Hermione," said he, staring down into the water, "if you really love
me, why do you hate to kiss me? Why do you hardly suffer me to touch
you? And you've never even called me by my name, that I remember!"
"Geoffrey!" she breathed; "and I--love you to touch me! And I don't hate
to kiss you, Geoffrey dear."
"Then why do you keep me at arm's length?"
"Do I?" she questioned softly, gazing down at the lily pads.
"You know you do. Why?"
"Well--because."
"Because what?"
"Oh, well, just--because."
"Hermione--tell me."
"Well, everything is so strange--so unreal! This great house, the
servants, all the beautiful clothes you bought me! To have so very much
of everything after having to do with so very little--it's all so
wonderful and--dreadful!"
"Dreadful?"
"You are so--dreadfully rich!"
"Is that the reason you keep me at such a distance? Is that why you
avoid me?"
"Avoid you?"
"Yes, dear. You've done it very sweetly and delicately, but you have
avoided me lately. Why?"
Hermione didn't answer.
"And you haven't touched any of the monthly allowance I make you," he
went on, frowning a little, "not one cent. Why, Hermione?"
Hermione was silent.
"Tell me!"
Still she was silent, only she bent lower above the pool and drew
further from him, whereat his pale cheek flushed, and his frown grew
blacker.
And presently, as he scowled down into the water, she stole a look at
him, and when she spoke, though the words were light, the quiver in her
voice belied them.
"Invalid, dear, if you want to be angry with me, wait--till you're a
little stronger."
Ravenslee stooped and picked up a handful of small pebbles that chanced
to lie loose.
"Wife, dear," said he, "I'm as well and strong as ever I was. But I've
asked you several questions which I mean you to answer, so I am going to
give you until I have pitched all these pebbles into the water, and
then--" Hermione glanced up swiftly.
"Then?" she questioned.
"Why then, if you haven't answered, I shall--take matters into my own
hands. One!" and a pebble splashed into the pool.
"What do you want to know?"
"Two! Why haven't you condescended to take your allowance?"
"Dear, I--I didn't need it, and even if I had, I--oh, I couldn't take
it--yet!"
"Three! Why not?"
"Because you have given me so much already, and I--have given
you--nothing."
"Four! Why--haven't you?"
"Oh--well--because!"
"Five! What does 'because' mean, this time?"
"It means--just--because!"
"Six! Seven! Eight! Why have you avoided me lately?"
Hermione was silent, watching him with troubled eyes while he slowly
pitched the pebbles into the pool, counting as they fell.
"Nine! Ten! Eleven! Twelve! Why do you keep me at arm's length?"
"I don't--I--I--you won't let me--" she said a little breathlessly,
while one by one he let the pebbles fall into the pool, counting
inexorably as they fell.
"Thirteen! Fourteen, fifteen--and that's the last!" As he spoke he
turned toward her, and she, reading something of his purpose in his
eyes, turned to flee, felt his long arms about her, felt herself swung
up and up and so lay crushed and submissive in his fierce embrace as he
turned and began to bear her across the garden. Then, being helpless,
she began to plead with him.
"Ah, don't, don't--dear! Geoffrey! Put me down! Where are you taking me?
If any one sees us--"
"Let them!" he muttered grimly; "you're my wife!"
So he bore her across the garden into the arbour and laying her upon the
divan, sank beside it on his knees, panting a little.
"A little weak--still!" said he, "but not so bad--you're no scraggy
sylph, thank heaven! Hermione--look at me!" But she turned and hid her
face against him, for his clasp was close about her still. So he stooped
and kissed her hair, her glowing cheek, her soft white neck, and, in
that instant--wonder of wonders--her arms were around him, strong,
passionate arms that clung and drew him close--then strove wildly to
hold him away.
"Loose me!" she cried, "let me go! Geoffrey--husband, be generous and
let me go!" But he lifted her head, back and back across his arm until
beneath her long lashes her eyes looked into his.
"Hermione, when will you--be my wife?"
Against him he could feel the sweet hurry of her breathing, and stooping
he spoke again, lip to lip:
"Hermione, when will you be my wife?"
But, even while he kissed her, between those quivering, parted lips came
a murmur of passionate prayer and pleading.
"Oh, my love, wait--wait! Let me tell you--ah, loose me and let me tell
you."
Slowly his hold relaxed, and, twisting in his arms, she slipped upon her
knees beside him, and, crouching close, hid her face against him.
"Beloved," she whispered quickly, breathlessly, "oh, dear man that I
love so--there is something between us, a shadow of shame and horror
that is with me day and night and always must be. While you lay sick it
was there, torturing me with every moan and sigh you uttered. It is
with me wherever I go--it is between us now--yes, now--even while I
strain you in my arms like this. I have watched you grow strong and well
again, I've seen the love in your eyes, and I've yearned to be to
you--all you would have me, but because of this shadow I--dare not. Ah,
God, how can I be wife to you when--let this answer for me." And she
placed in Ravenslee's hand a coat button whereto a piece of cloth
adhered. "Dear love, I saw you throw it away," she explained, "and I
searched and searched until I found it."
"Why?"
"Because I knew you would soon ask me--this question, and I have kept it
for my answer. Ah, God! how can I be wife to you when my brother would
have killed you--murdered you!"
Ravenslee hurled the button far away, then lifting Hermione's bowed
head, spoke very tenderly.
"How does all this affect our love, Hermione, except to show me you are
even sweeter and nobler than I had thought. And as for the shadow, it
is--only a shadow after all."
"But it is my shame!" she answered. "You might have had for wife the
sister of a thief, but not--oh, God! not the sister of a would-be
murderer. If--if I came to you now, I should come in shame--Ah,
Geoffrey, don't--shame me!"
"God forbid!" he muttered.
Close, close she clasped him, hiding her face against him, kissing and
kissing the rough cloth of his coat.
"Oh, Geoffrey," she murmured, "how we do love each other!"
"So much, Hermione, that I will never--claim you until you are ready to
come to me of your own will. But, dear, I am only a man--how long must I
wait?"
"Give me time," she pleaded, "with time the horror may grow less. Let me
go away for awhile--a little while. Let me find Arthur--"
"No," he answered, frowning, "you shan't do that; there will be no
need--to-morrow I go to fetch him."
"To bring him--here?"
"Why, of course. You see, I intend him to go to college."
Hermione rose and coming to the entrance of the arbour leaned there.
"Why, Hermione--dear love--you're crying! What is it?"
"Nothing," she answered, bowing her face upon her arm, "only--I
think--if you ask me again--I can't--keep you--waiting--very long!"