HOW MRS. TRAPES ACQUIRED A NEW LODGER, DESPITE HER ELBOWS
He awoke suddenly and sat up to find the room full of sunshine and Spike
standing beside him, a bright-faced, merry-eyed Spike, very spruce and
neat as to person.
"Say, Geoff," said he, "I've seen Mrs. Trapes, an' she wants you to go
over so she can pipe you off. 'N' say, you're sure up against a catty
proposition in her; if you don't hit it off on the spot as soon as she
gets her lamps onto you, it'll be nix for you, Geoff, an' nothin'
doin'!"
"Lucid!" said Ravenslee, yawning, "and sounds promising!"
"Why, y' see, Geoff, she's got a grouch on because I was out last night,
so, if she gives you the gimlet eye at first, just josh her along a bit.
Now slick yourself up an' come on." Obediently Mr. Ravenslee arose and
having tightened his neckerchief and smoothed his curly hair, crossed
the landing and followed Spike into the opposite flat, a place of
startling cleanliness as to floors and walls, and everything therein;
uncomfortably trim of aspect and direfully ornate as to rugs and carpet
and sofa cushions.
Mrs. Trapes herself was elderly; she was also a woman of points, being
bony and sharp featured, particularly as to elbows, which were generally
bare. Indeed, they might be said to be her most salient and obtrusive
features; but her shrewd, sharp eyes held an elusive kindliness at
times, and when she smiled, which was very rarely, her elbows and her
general sharpness were quite forgotten.
She was awaiting them in her parlour, enthroned in her best easy chair,
a chair of green velvet where purple flowers bloomed riotously, her feet
firm-planted upon a hearthrug cunningly enwrought with salmon-pink
sunflowers. Bolt upright and stiff of back she sat, making the very
utmost of her elbows, for her sleeves being rolled high (as was their
wont) and her arms being folded within her apron, they projected
themselves to left and right in highly threatening fashion. Sphinx-like
she sat, very silent and very still, while her sharp eyes roved over Mr.
Ravenslee's person from the toes of his boots to the dark hair that
curled short and crisp above his brow. Thus she looked him up and she
looked him down, viewing each garment in turn; lastly, she lifted her
gaze to his face and stared at him--eye to eye.
And eye to eye Mr. Ravenslee, serene and calm as ever, met her look,
while Spike, observing her granite-like expression and the fierce jut of
her elbows, shuffled, and glanced toward the door. But still Mrs. Trapes
glared up at Mr. Ravenslee, and still Mr. Ravenslee glanced down at Mrs.
Trapes wholly unabashed, nay--he actually smiled, and, bowing his dark
head, spoke in his easy, pleasant voice.
"A beautiful afternoon, Mrs. Trapes!"
Mrs. Trapes snorted.
"This room will suit me--er--admirably."
Mrs. Trapes started slightly, opened her grim lips, shut them again,
and--wriggled her elbows.
"Yes, indeed," continued Mr. Ravenslee pleasantly, "I like this room--so
nice and bright, like the rug and wall paper--especially the rug. Yes, I
like the rug and the--er--stuffed owl in the corner!" and he nodded to a
shapeless, moth-eaten something under a glass case against the wall.
Mrs. Trapes wriggled her elbows again and, glaring still, spoke
harsh-voiced.
"Young feller, that owl's a parrot!"
"A parrot--of course!" assented Mr. Ravenslee gently, "and a very fine
parrot too! Then the wax flowers and the antimacassars! What would a
home be without them?" said he, dreamy-eyed and grave. "I think I shall
be very bright and cheerful here, my dear Mrs. Trapes."
Mrs. Trapes swallowed audibly, stared at Spike until he writhed, and
finally bored her sharp eyes into Mr. Ravenslee again.
"Young man," said she, "what name?"
"I think our friend Spike has informed you that I am sometimes called
Geoffrey. Mrs. Trapes, our friend Spike told the truth."
"Young feller," she demanded, "'oo are you and--what?"
"Mrs. Trapes," he sighed, "I am a lonely wight, a wanderer in wild
places, a waif, a stray, puffed hither and thither by a fate perverse--"
"Talking o' verses, you ain't a poet, are you?" enquired Mrs. Trapes,
"last poet as lodged wi' me useter go to bed in 'is boots reg'lar!
Consequently I ain't nowise drawed to poets--"
Mr. Ravenslee laughed and shook his head.
"Have no fear," he answered, "I'm no poet nor ever shall be. I'm quite
an ordinary human being, I assure you."
"Young feller--references?"
"Mrs. Trapes, I have none--except my face. But you have very sharp eyes;
look at me well. Do I strike you as a rogue or a thief?"
Here Spike, chancing to catch his eye, blushed painfully, while Mr.
Ravenslee continued:
"Come, Mrs. Trapes, you have a motherly heart, I know, and I am a very
lonely being who needs one like you to--to cook and care for his bodily
needs and to look after the good of his solitary soul. Were I to search
New York I couldn't find another motherly heart so suited to my crying
needs as yours; you won't turn me away, will you?" Saying which, Mr.
Ravenslee smiled his slow, sleepy smile and--wonder of wonders--Mrs.
Trapes smiled too!
"When d' ye wanter come?"
"Now!"
"Land sakes!" she exclaimed.
"If it won't trouble you too much?" he added.
"There's sheets to be aired--" she began, but checked suddenly to stare
at him again. "Look a here, Mr. Geoffrey," she went on, "my terms is
two-fifty a week, ten dollars _with_ board, and a week in advance."
"Good!" nodded Mr. Ravenslee, "but since I'm coming in at such short
notice, I'll pay three weeks ahead just to--er--bind the bargain.
See--that will be thirty dollars, won't it?" And speaking, he drew a
handful of crumpled bills from his pocket and proceeded to count out
thirty dollars upon the green and yellow tablecloth.
"Sakes alive!" murmured Mrs. Trapes.
"And now," said he, "I'll just step around the corner with Spike to
buy--er--a toothbrush."
"Toothbrush!" echoed Mrs. Trapes faintly.
"And a few other things. I shall be in early to supper."
"Would a nice, English mutton chop wiv tomatoes--"
"Excellent; and thank you, Mrs. Trapes, for sheltering a homeless
wretch." So saying, her new boarder smiled and nodded and, following
Spike out into the hallway, was gone.
But Mrs. Trapes stood awhile to stare after him, lost in speculation.
"A toothbrush!" said she. "My! My!" Then she turned to stare down at the
pile of bills. "Now I wonder," said she, right hand caressing left
elbow-point, "I jest wonder who he's been a-choking of to get all that
money? But I like his eyes! And his smile! And he looks a man--and
honest! Well, well!"