By some wonderful means the half-skipper found the left-handed man
rather speedily, only they had not yet put him to bed, but he still lay
on the floor of the corridor and complained to the Englishman: "I must
say a couple of words to the Emperor without fail."
The Englishman hastened to Count Kleinmichel and made a row: "How can
they treat him so? He has a human soul," says he, "even if he has only
a sheepskin coat."
For this bit of reasoning they immediately chased the Englishman
away,--because he had dared to mention the human soul. And then some
one said to him: "You had better go to Cossack Platoff--he has simple
feelings."
The Englishman got at Platoff, who was now reclining on his couch once
more. Platoff listened to him and recalled the left-handed man.
"Certainly, my friend," says he, "I am very intimately acquainted with
him--I have even tweaked him by the hair--only I know not how I can
assist him in his present unhappy plight, because I am now entirely
out of the service and have received full pension, so they no longer
respect me; but do you run quickly to Commandant Skobeleff; he is
in power, and also experienced in this sort of thing--he will do
something."
And the half-skipper went to Skobeleff, and told him everything; what
the left-handed man's illness was, and how he had contracted it. Says
Skobeleff: "I understand this complaint, only the Germans cannot cure
it; but some sort of a doctor of the ecclesiastical vocation is needed
here, because those fellows have been reared on such examples, and
they can give aid. I will immediately send thither the Russian doctor,
Martyn-Solsky."
But when Martyn-Solsky arrived, the left-handed man was breathing his
last, because he had cracked his neck on the pavement, and could utter
intelligibly only these words: "Tell the Emperor that the English do
not clean their guns with brick-dust. Let them not clean their guns so
among us; otherwise--God preserve us from war--they will not be fit to
fire." And with this assurance the left-handed man crossed himself and
died.
Then Martyn-Solsky immediately went and reported this to Count
Tchernyscheff in order that he might announce it to the Emperor.
But Count Tchernyscheff shouted at him: "Stick to your emetics and
cathartics and don't meddle in what is none of your business--we have
Generals in Russia to attend to that!"
And so they did not tell the Emperor, and this mode of cleaning
continued down to the very date of the Crimean campaign. At that
time, when they began to load their guns the bullets rattled about in
them, because they had been cleaned with brick-dust. Then Martyn-Solsky
reminded Count Tchernyscheff of the left-handed man, and Count
Tchernyscheff said: "Go to the devil, you windbag! Don't meddle with
what does not concern you, or I'll deny that I ever heard anything
about this from you--and won't you just catch it!"
Martyn-Solsky reflected: "He actually will deny it," and so he held his
tongue.
But if he had reported the left-handed man's words to the Emperor in
season, the war with the enemy in the Crimea would have taken quite a
different turn.