"Why do not I see it?" says the Emperor.
"Because," they reply, "a melkoscope is necessary."
They gave him the melkoscope, and the Emperor saw that, beside the
flea, on the silver salver, there actually lay a tiny key.
"Please take it in your palm," said they. "There is a hole in its
little belly to wind it, and the key must be turned seven times, and
then it will begin to dance."
With difficulty did the Emperor grasp the tiny key, and with difficulty
did he hold it between his finger and thumb; and with the other
forefinger and thumb he gripped the flea. And no sooner had he applied
the little key than it began to move its feelers; next it began to
wriggle its legs, and at last it gave a sudden skip, and in one bound
it made a straight dance and two variations to one side, then to the
other, and thus danced out an entire quadrille in three figures.
The Emperor immediately commanded that a million be given to the
artisans, in any money they preferred--in silver five-kopek pieces, if
they liked, or in small bank-bills, if they liked that.
The Englishmen requested that silver money be issued to them because
they did not understand paper money;[15] and then they immediately
exhibited another cunning device of theirs: they had made a present
of the flea, but had brought no case for it. But without a case it was
impossible to keep either the flea or the key, because they would get
lost, and be thrown out into the dust-heap. Yet they had made a case
for it, fashioned out of a solid diamond, the size of a walnut, and
its place was hollowed out in the centre. This they did not present,
because, said they, the case was the property of the Crown, and they
were held to strict account for Crown property, and they could not make
a gift of it even to the Emperor.
Platoff came near getting into a great rage, because, says he: "Why
such rascality? They have made a gift, and received a million for it,
and all that is not enough! The case always goes with every article."
But the Emperor said: "Stop that, please," says he. "This is no
business of thine; don't spoil my politics. They have their own
customs." And he inquires: "What is the value of this walnut, in which
the flea is lodged?"
The Englishmen rated it at five thousand more.
"Pay them," said the Emperor Alexander Pavlovitch; and himself
dropped the tiny flea into the little nut, and the key with it; and
in order that he might not lose the walnut itself, he placed it in
his gold snuff-box, and ordered the snuff-box to be placed in his
travelling-casket, which was all encrusted with mother of pearl and
fish-bone.[16] And the Emperor dismissed the English workmen with
honor, and said to them: "You are the finest artisans in the world, and
my people can do nothing in comparison with you."
They were highly pleased with this, and Platoff could utter nothing
contrary to the Emperor's words. Only, he took the melkoscope, and
without uttering a syllable, he dropped it into his pocket, "because it
belongs here, also," says he, "and you have taken enough money from us
already, anyway."
The Emperor did not know of this until his arrival in Russia, but they
went away speedily, because melancholy had seized upon the Emperor
on account of military affairs, and he desired to make his spiritual
confession to Priest Feodot in Taganrog.[17]
During the journey there was very little agreeable conversation
between him and Platoff, because they had formed entirely different
opinions; the Emperor thought that Englishmen had no equals in art,
while Platoff insisted that our men had only to look at a thing and
they could make everything,--only, they lacked good instruction. And
he expounded to the Emperor that the English workmen had entirely
different rules of life for everything, and different sciences and
materials, and that each man of them had all absolute circumstances
before him, and hence a wholly different understanding of things.
The Emperor was not willing to listen long to this, but Platoff would
get out at every posting-station, and drink a beer-glass of vodka
through vexation, and eat a little round salted cracknel, and light
his birch-root pipe, which held a whole pound of Zhukoff tobacco at
one filling.[18] And then he would take his place, and sit in silence
beside the Tzar in the carriage. The Emperor gazed in one direction,
while Platoff thrust his pipe out of the opposite window and smoked
away in the breeze. And thus they journeyed until they reached
Petrograd; and the Emperor did not take Platoff to Priest Feodot with
him.
"Thou art intemperate in spiritual converse," said he, "and thou
smokest so excessively that soot has settled in my head from thy fumes."
Platoff was offended, and lay upon the couch of vexation at home.
And there he lay incessantly, and smoked Zhukoff tobacco without
intermission.