Couldn't help a-methinkin' to myself several times. It duz seem to me
that there hain't a question a-comin' up before that Conference that
is harder to tackle than this plasterin' and the conundrum that is up
before us Jonesville wimmen how to raise 300 dollars out of nuthin', and
to make peace in a meetin' house where anarky is now rainin' down.
But I only thought these thoughts to myself, fur I knew every women
there wuz peacible and law abidin' and there wuzn't one of 'em but
what would ruther fall offen her barell then go agin the rules of the
Methodist Meetin' House.
Yes, I tried to curb down my rebellous thoughts, and did, pretty much
all the time. And good land! we worked so hard that we hadn't time
to tackle very curius and peculier thoughts, them that wuz dretful
strainin' and wearin' on the mind. Not of our own accord we didn't, fur
we had to jest nip in and work the hull durin' time.
[Illustration: “EVERY NIGHT JOSIAH WOULD TACKLE ME ON IT.”]
And then we all knew how deathly opposed our pardners wuz to our takin'
any public part in meetin' house matters or mountin' rostrums, and that
thought quelled us down a sight.
Of course when these subjects wuz brung up before us, and turned round
and round in front of our eyes, why we had to look at 'em and be rousted
up by 'em more or less. It was Nater.
And Josiah not havin' anything to do evenin's only to set and look at
the ceilin'. Every single night when I would go home from the meetin'
house, Josiah would tackle me on it, on the danger of allowin' wimmen
to ventur out of her spear in Meetin' House matters, and specially the
Conference.
It begin to set in New York the very day we tackled the meetin' in
Jonesville with a extra grip.
So's I can truly say, the Meetin' House wuz on me day and night. For
workin' on it es I did, all day long, and Josiah a-talkin' abut it till
bed time, and I a-dreamin' abut it a sight, that, and the Conference.
Truly, if I couldn't set on the Conference, the Conference sot on me,
from mornin' till night, and from night till mornin'.
I spoze it wuz Josiah's skairful talk that brung it onto me, it wuz
brung on nite mairs mostly, in the nite time.
He would talk _very_ skairful, and what he called deep, and repeat pages
of Casper Keeler's arguments, and they would appear to me (drawed also
by nite mairs) every page on 'em lookin' fairly lurid.
I suffered.
Josiah would set with the _World_ and other papers in his hand,
a-perusin' of 'em, while I would be a-washin' up my dishes, and the very
minute I would get 'em done and my sleeves rolled down, he would tackle
me, and often he wouldn't wait for me to get my work done up, or even
supper got, but would begin on me as I filled up my tea kettle, and keep
up a stiddy drizzle of argument till bed time, and as I say, when he
left off, the nite mairs would begin.
I suffered beyond tellin' almost.
The secont night of my arjuous labors on the meetin' house, he began
wild and eloquent about wimmen bein' on Conferences, and mountin'
rostrums. And sez he, “That is suthin' that we Methodist men can't
stand.”
[Illustration: “IS ROSTRUMS MUCH HIGHER THAN THEM BARELLS TO STAND ON?”]
And I, havin' stood up on a barell all day a-scrapin' the ceilin', and
not bein' recuperated yet from the skairtness and dizziness of my day's
work, I sez to him:
“Is rostrums much higher than them barells we have to stand on to the
meetin' house?”
And Josiah said, “it wuz suthin' altogether different.” And he assured
me agin,
“That in any modest, unpretendin' way the Methodist Church wuz willin'
to accept wimmen's work. It wuzn't aginst the Discipline. And that is
why,” sez he, “that wimmen have all through the ages been allowed to do
most all the hard work in the church--such as raisin' money for church
work--earnin' money in all sorts of ways to carry on the different kinds
of charity work connected with it--teachin' the children, nursin' the
sick, carryin' on hospital work, etc., etc. But,” sez he, “this is
fur, fur different from gettin' up on a rostrum, or tryin' to set on a
Conference. Why,” sez he, in a haughty tone, “I should think they'd know
without havin' to be told that laymen don't mean women.”
Sez I, “Them very laymen that are tryin' to keep wimmen out of the
Conference wouldn't have got in themselves if it hadn't been for
wimmen's votes. If they can legally vote for men to get in why can't men
vote for them?”
“That is the pint,” sez Josiah, “that is the very pint I have been
tryin' to explain to you. Wimmen can help men to office, but men can't
help wimmen; that is law, that is statesmanship. I have been a-tryin' to
explain it to you that the word laymen _always_ means woman when she can
help men in any way, but _not_ when he can help her, or in any other
sense.”
Sez I, “It seemed to mean wimmen when Metilda Henn wuz turned out of the
meetin' house.”
“Oh, yes,” sez Josiah in a reasonin' tone, “the word laymen always means
wimmen when it is used in a punishin' and condemnatory sense, or in the
case of work and so fourth, but when it comes to settin' up in high
places, or drawin' sallerys, or anything else difficult, it alweys means
men.”
Sez I, in a very dry axent, “Then the word man, when it is used in
church matters, always means wimmen, so fur as scrubbin' is concerned,
and drowdgin' round?”
“Yes,” sez Josiah haughtily, “And it always means men in the higher and
more difficult matters of decidin' questions, drawin' sallerys, settin'
on Conferences, etc. It has long been settled to be so,” sez he.
“Who settled it?” sez I.
“Why the men, of course,” sez he. “The men have always made the rules
of the churches, and translated the Bibles, and everything else that is
difficult,” sez he. Sez I, in fearful dry axents, almost husky ones, “It
seems to take quite a knack to know jest when the word laymen means men
and when it means wimmen.”
“That is so,” sez Josiah. “It takes a man's mind to grapple with it;
wimmen's minds are too weak to tackle it It is jest as it is with that
word 'men' in the Declaration of Independence. Now that word 'men', in
that Declaration, means men some of the time, and some of the time men
and wimmen both. It means both sexes when it relates to punishment,
taxin' property, obeyin' the laws strictly, etc., etc., and then it goes
right on the very next minute and means men only, as to wit, namely,
votin', takin' charge of public matters, makin' laws, etc.
“I tell you it takes deep minds to foller on and see jest to a hair
where the division is made. It takes statesmanship.
“Now take that claws, 'All men are born free and equal.'
“Now half of that means men, and the other half men and wimmen. Now to
understand them words perfect you have got to divide the tex. 'Men are
born.' That means men and wimmen both--men and wimmen are both born,
nobody can dispute that. Then comes the next claws, 'Free and equal.'
Now that means men only--anybody with one eye can see that.
“Then the claws, 'True government consists.' That means men and wimmen
both--consists--of course the government consists of men and wimmen,
'twould be a fool who would dispute that. 'In the consent of the
governed.' That means men alone. Do you see, Samantha?” sez he.
I kep' my eye fixed on the tea kettle, fer I stood with my tea-pot in
hand waitin' for it to bile--“I see a great deal, Josiah Allen.”
[Illustration: CHURCH WORK.]
“Wall,” sez he, “I am glad on't. Now to sum it up,” sez he, with some
the mean of a preacher--or, ruther, a exhauster--“to sum the matter all
up, the words 'bretheren,' 'laymen,' etc., always means wimmen so fur
as this: punishment for all offenses, strict obedience to the rules of
the church, work of any kind and all kinds, raisin' money, givin' money
all that is possible, teachin' in the Sabbath school, gettin' up
missionary and charitable societies, carryin' on the same with no help
from the male sect leavin' that sect free to look after their half of
the meanin' of the word--sallerys, office, makin' the laws that bind
both of the sexes, rulin' things generally, translatin' Bibles to suit
their own idees, preachin' at 'em, etc., etc. Do you see, Samantha?” sez
he, proudly and loftily.
“Yes,” sez I, as I filled up my tea-pot, for the water had at last
biled. “Yes, I see.”
And I spoze he thought he had convinced me, for he acted high headeder
and haughtier for as much as an hour and a half. And I didn't say
anything to break it up, for I see he had stated it jest as he and all
his sect looked at it, and good land! I couldn't convince the hull male
sect if I tried--clergymen, statesmen and all--so I didn't try, and I
wuz truly beat out with my day's work, and I didn't drop more than one
idee more. I simply dropped this remark es I poured out his tea and put
some good cream into it--I merely sez:
“There is three times es many wimmen in the meetin' house es there is
men.”
“Yes,” sez he, “that is one of the pints I have been explainin' to you,”
and then he went on agin real high headed, and skairt, about the old
ground, of the willingness of the meetin' house to shelter wimmen in its
folds, and how much they needed gaurdin' and guidin', and about their
delicacy of frame, and how unfitted they wuz to tackle anything hard,
and what a grief it wuz to the male sect to see 'em a-tryin' to set on
Conferences or mount rostrums, etc., etc.
And I didn't try to break up his argument, but simply repeated the
question I had put to him--for es I said before, I wuz tired, and
skairt, and giddy yet from my hard labor and my great and hazardus
elevatin'; I had not, es you may say, recovered yet from my
recuperation, and so I sez agin them words--
“Is rostrums much higher than them barells to stand on?” And Josiah said
agin, “it wuz suthin' entirely different;” he said barells and rostrums
wuz so fur apart that you couldn't look at both on 'em in one day
hardly, let alone a minute. And he went on once more with a long
argument full of Bible quotations and everything.
And I wuz too tuckered out to say much more. But I did contend for it to
the last, that I didn't believe a rostrum would be any more tottlin' and
skairful a place than the barell I had been a-standin' on all day, nor
the work I'd do on it any harder than the scrapin' of the ceilin' of
that meetin house.
And I don't believe it would, I stand jest as firm on it to-day as I did
then.