You see the way on't wuz: we had to do sumthin' to raise the minister's
salary, which wuz most half a year behindhand, to say nothin' of the
ensuin' year a-comin'. And as I have hinted at before but hain't gi'n
petickulers, the men in the meetin' house had all gi'n out, and said
they had gi'n every cent they could, and they couldn't and they wouldn't
do any more, any way.
As I have said more formally, there wuz a hardness arozen amongst the
male brethern.
Deacon Peedick thought he had gi'n more than his part in proportion, and
come right out plain and said so.
And Deacon Bobbet said “he wuzn't the man to stand it to be told right
to his face that he hadn't done his share,” and he said “he wuzn't the
man either, to be hinted at from the pulpit about things.” I don't
believe he wuz hinted at, and Sister Bobbet don't And she felt like
death to have him so riz up in his mind, and act so. I know what the
tex' wuz; it wuz these words:
“The Lord loveth a cheerful giver.”
The minister didn't mean nothin' only pure gospel, when he preached
about it. But it proved to be a tight-breasted, close-fittin' coat
to several of the male brothers, and it fitted 'em so well it fairly
pinched 'em.
But there it wuz, Deacon Bobbet wouldn't gi'n a cent towards raisin' the
money. And there wuz them that said, and stuck to it, that he said “he
wouldn't give a _darn_ cent.”
But I don't know as that is so. I wouldn't want to be the one that said
that he had demeaned himself to that extent.
Wall, he wouldn't give a cent, and Peedick wouldn't give, and Deacon
Henzy and Deacon Sypher wouldn't. They said that there wuz certain
members of the meetin' house that had said to certain people suthin'
slightin' about buzz saws.
I myself thought then, and think still, that the subject of buzz saws
had a great deal to do in makin' 'em act so riz up and excited. I
believe the subject rasped 'em, and made 'em nervous. But when these
various hardnesses aroze amongst some of the brethern, the rest of the
men kinder joined in with 'em, some on one side, and some on the other,
and they all baulked right out of the harness. (Allegory.) And there the
minister wuz, good old creeter, jest a-sufferin' for the necessities of
life, and most half a year's salery due.
I tell you it looked dark. The men all said they couldn't see no way out
of the trouble, and some of the wimmen felt about so. And old Miss Henn,
one of our most able sisters, she had gi'n out, she wuz as mad as her
own sirname about how her Metilda had been used.
The meetin' house had just hauled her up for levity. And I thought then,
and think now, that the meetin' house wuz too hard on Metilda Henn.
She did titter right out in protracted meetin', Sister Henn don't deny
it, and she felt dretful bad about it, and so did I. But Metilda said,
and stuck to it, that she couldn't have helped laughin' if it had been
to save her life. And though I realized the awfulness of it, still, when
some of the brethern wuz goin' on dretful about it, I sez to 'em:
“The Bible sez there is a time to laugh, and I don't know when that is,
unless it is when you can't help it.”
What she wuz a-laughin' at wuz this:
There wuz a widder woman by the name of Nancy Lum that always come to
evenin' meetin's.
She wuz very tall and humbly, and she had been on the look out (so it
wuz s'pozed) for a 3d husband for some time.
She had always made a practice of saying one thing over and over to all
the protracted and Conference meetin's, and she would always bust out
a-cryin' before she got it all out.
She always said “she wanted to be found always at the foot of the
Cross.”
She would always begin this remark dretful kinder loud and hysterical,
and then would dwindle down kinder low at the end on't, and bustin' out
into tears somewhere through it from first to last.
But this evenin' suthin' had occurred to make her more hysterical and
melted down than usial. Some say it wuz because Deacon Henshaw wuz
present for the first time after his wive's death.
But any way, she riz up lookin' awful tall and humbly--she was most a
head taller than any man there--and she sez out loud and strong:
“I want to be found--”
And then she busted right out a-cryin' hard. And she sobbed for some
time. And then she begun agin,
“I want to be found--”
And then she busted out agin.
And so it went on for some time--she a-tellin' out ever and anon loud
and firm, “that she wanted to be found--” and then bustin' into tears.
Till finally Deacon Henshaw (some mistrust that he is on the point of
gettin' after her, and he always leads the singin' any way) he struck
right out onto the him--
“Oh, that will be joyful!”
And Sister Lum sot down.
Wall, that wuz what made Metilda Henn titter. And that was what made me
bring forward that verse of scripter. That the Bible said “'there wuz a
time to laugh,' and I didn't know when it wuz unless it wuz when you
couldn't help it--”
But I didn't say it to uphold Metilda--no, indeed. I only said it
because they wuz so bitter on her, and laid the rules of the meetin'
house down on her so heavy.
But Josiah said, “What would become of the meetin' house if it didn't
punish its unruly members?”
And I sez to Josiah, “Do you remember the case of Deacon Widrig over in
Loontown. He wuz rich and influential, and when he wuz complained of,
and the meetin' house sot on him, they sot light, and you know it,
Josiah Allen. And he was kep in the church, the meen old creeter. And
Miss Henn is a widder and poor.”
“Yes,” sez Josiah, calmly, “she hain't been able to help the meetin'
house much, and Brother Widrig contributes largely.”
Sez I, in a fearful meanin' axent, “I hearn he did at the time he wuz
up--I hearn he contributed _lots_ to the male brethren who was a-judgin'
him--but,” sez I, “do you spoze, Josiah Allen, that if wimmen wuz
allowed their way in the matter, that that man would be allowed to stay
in the meetin' house, and keep on a-makin' and a-sellin' the poisen that
is sendin' men to ruin all round him--
“Makin' his hard cider by the barell and hogset and fixin' it some way
so it will make a far worse drunk than whiskey, and then supplyin' every
low saloon fur and near with it, and peddlin' it out to every man and
boy that wants it.
“And boys think they can drink cider without doin' any harm--so he jest
entices 'em down into the road to ruin--doin' as much agin harm as a
whiskey seller.
“And mothers have to set still and see it go on. It is men that are
always appinted to deal with sinners, male or female. Men are judged by
their peers, but wimmen never are.
“I wonder if that is just? I wonder how Deacon Widrig would have liked
it to have had Miss Henn set on him? He wuz dretful excited, so I hearn,
about Metilda's case--thought it wuz highly incumbient on the meetin'
house to have her made a example of, so's to try to abolish such wicked
doin's as snickerin' out in meetin'.
[Illustration: “SUPPLYIN' EVERY LOW SALOON FUR AND NEAR.”]
“I wonder how he would have liked it to have had Charley Lanfear's
mother set on him? She is a Sister in the meetin' house and Charley is
a ruined boy--and Deacon Widrig is jest as much the cause of his ruin--
jest as guilty of murderin' all that wuz sweet and lovely in him es if
he had fed arsenic to him with a teaspoon.”
Sez I, “In that very meetin' house to Loontown, there are mothers who
have to set and take the bread and wine tokens of the blood and body of
their crucified Redeemer from a man's hands that they know are red
with the blood of their own sons. Fur redder than human blood and
deeper-stained with the ruin of their immortal souls.
“What thoughts does these mothers keep on a-thinkin' as they set there
and see a man guilty of worse than murder set up as a example to other
young souls? What thoughts do they keep on a-thinkin' of the young
hearts that wuz pure before this man laid holt of 'em. Young eyes that
wuz true and tender till this man made 'em look on his accursed drink.
Young lips that smiled on their mothers till he gin 'em that that
changed the smiles to curses?
“Would a delegation of wimmen keep such a man in the meetin' house if he
paved the hull floor with fine gold? No, you know they wouldn't. Let a
jury of mothers set on such a man, and see if he could get up agin very
easy.
“They are the ones who have suffered by him, who have agonized, who went
down into deeper than the Valley of Death led by his hand. They went
down into that depth where they lose their boy. Lose him eternally.
“Death, jest death, would give 'em a chance to meet their child again.
But what hope does a mother have when down in the darkness that has
no mornin', her boy tears his hand from her weak grasp and plunges
downward?
“How does such a mother feel as she sets there in a still meetin' house,
and the man who has done all this passes her the emblems of a deathless
love, a divine purity?”
Josiah sat demute and, didn't say nuthin', and I went on, for I wuz very
roze up in my mind, and by the side of myself with emotions.
And sez I, “Take the case of Simeon Lathers. Why wuz it that Sister
Irene Filkins wuz turned out of the meetin' house and the man who wuz
the first cause of her goin' astray kep in--the handsome,
smooth-faced hypocrite?--it wuz because he wuz rich as a Jew, and jest
plastered over the consciences of them that tried him with his fine
speeches and his money.”
[Illustration: “JOSIAH LOOKED UP AND SEZ, 'HOW A STEEPLE WOULD LOOK
A-PINTIN' DOWN'”]
“Fixed over the meetin' house there in Zoar, built a new steeple, a
towerin' one. If wimmen had had their way, that steeple would have
pinted the other way.”
Josiah looked up from Ayers' Almanac, which he wuz calmly perusin', and
sez he,
“How a steeple would look a-pintin' down!”