At half-past twelve o'clock of the following day, masculine Curtain
Wells began to arrive at the Town Hall determined to eat the health of
General Sir Jeremy Dummer with all the vigour of an appetite unspoiled
by a morsel of food since yesterday's supper. No procession was arranged
by those responsible for the entertainment, but the habit of punctuality
instilled by the Great little Beau secured an unrehearsed pageant. There
was no marshalled order, but since everybody set out from his abode at
the same time, the component populations of the place were compelled to
affect a military method of progress.
It was quite unpremeditated and, therefore, the more impressive. The
Town Hall designed by Sir John Vanbrugh had been erected by publick
subscription to serve as a memorial to those gallant natives of Curtain
Wells who fought and died under the Duke of Marlborough. That the
aforesaid gallant natives were only three in number and in no case
killed in action was no cooler to the furnace of civick gratitude
kindled by the signing of the Peace of Utrecht. In their delight at the
discomfiture of the quarrelsome Whigs, the citizens expressly stipulated
there should be no hint of War and War's alarms in the construction of
their Hall. There were to be no cannon eternally belching forth stony
smoke, no image or superscription of Mars or Bellona. Greaves, bucklers,
spears, culverins, swords, scimitars and grenades were forbidden by
name. The central medallion of the pediment should enshrine Civick
Unity.
So the reigning Mayor was represented in all the pomp of office grasping
the hands of two equally, befurred and bechained Aldermen. It was an
affecting combination of the real and the allegorical. A second
medallion contained a voluminously draped and very substantial lady who
with absent gaze spilled from a heavy Etruscan vase a large stream of
petrified Chalybeate. Her far-away look might be attributed to an effort
at ascertaining what a small AEsculapius was doing to a serpent on the
summit of a diminutive Pelion. This was Health. Finally a third
medallion held a peer in coronation robes thoughtfully regarding the
front of St. James' Palace. A curved scroll announced this pensive
aristocrat to be the representative of Society.
Civick Unity, Health, and Society--could any other personifications so
justly convey the essential quality of Curtain Wells? And not a pike or
arquebus to frighten them out of a rigid serenity.
Upon this sermon in stone, three streets converged, which at half-past
twelve o'clock were all thronged. Since the breakfast was essentially a
male function, the civick band by a happy inspiration of the band-master
thundered out _The Girl I left Behind Me_, as in its wake a number of
prosperous tradesmen tripped to the measure of the tune. Haberdashers
and cheesemongers, drygoodsmen and fishmongers, butchers, tailors,
saddlers, cooks and silversmiths all marched along with a pleasant
emotion of relief. Fortified by preliminary tankards of ale and
unhampered by prosaick wives and daughters, they retreated from nothing
save the business of serving customers. Vapours were dispelled by the
breeze of trumpets, and the thoughts aroused by the musick of the song
only added a pungent spice to their dreams of food and confirmed their
faith in the superiority of breeches over petticoats--at any rate when
walking away from the latter.
Meanwhile down the central street came another crowd not marching with
the precision of movement inspired by the escort of the band, but still
urged to a certain unanimity of gait by the common object of their
advance. Mr. Mayor, preceded by his mace, set the time, and a line of
Aldermen carefully ordered their pace to his. Behind the Aldermen came
the Watch. This was a mistake. The latter should have led the
dignitaries, but had spent so much time in buttoning and unbuttoning its
capes and belts, in brushing its hats and polishing its staves that it
was late, thereby belying its name. So the Watch followed behind and
vented its contrition on a mob of boys in occasional backhanded cuffs
and current imprecations. Behind the boys marched three small
girls--Amazons heedless of the embargoe laid upon their sex.
However both these processions were overshadowed by the prodigious
pageant that emanated from the street facing the medallion of Society.
The last deserves a chapter to itself since no appendix could do justice
to its importance. Let me therefore, without being held to have violated
the decency of orderly narration, insert at this point a supplementary
chapter which may serve as a programme to the entertainment I hope
worthily to recount.
_Chapter V a_