"They know nothing about the War in Greenland," said M. DANGAARD IENSEN to
a contemporary, and now the Intelligence Department is wondering whether it
didn't perhaps choose the wrong colour after all for its tabs.
***
The Governor of Greenland, giving evidence in the Prize Court last week,
was greatly interested to learn that there was a well-known hymn, entitled
"From Greenland's Icy Mountains." He was, however, inclined to think that
the unfortunate reference to the rigorous nature of the climate would be
resented by the local Publicity Committee, to whose notice he would feel it
his duty to bring the matter when they were next thawed out.
***
Lord DEVONPORT has established his own Press Bureau, and it is rumoured
that the Press Bureau is about to appoint its own Food Controller.
***
The American Line has advanced its First-Class fares by three pounds. It is
hoped that this will effectually discourage Mr. HENRY FORD from visiting
Europe for some time to come.
***
_The Times Literary Supplement_ has received 335 books of original verse in
1916. And still the authorities pretend that juvenile crime is confined to
the East End.
***
A telegram despatched from London on January 22nd, 1906, which contained a
polling result of the General Election then in progress, has just been
received by a Witham resident, who told the messenger there was no reply.
***
"If agriculture is to flourish," says _The Daily Mail_, "it must be so
conducted as to pay." It is just this sordid commercialism that distorts
the Carmelite point of view.
***
The German Union for the Development of the German Language have sent a
petition to the CHANCELLOR, asking that in any future Peace negotiations
the German language should be used. Will German frightfulness never cease?
***
"Anybody in the Carmarthen district," says the local medical officer, "can
keep a pig in the parlour if they keep it clean." The necessity of keeping
the parlour clean for the sake of its guest will be easily understood by
those who appreciate the fastidious taste of the pig.
***
A Hungarian paper complains that the Government treats the War as if it
were merely a family affair. This contrasts unfavourably with the more
broadly hospitable attitude of the Allies, who have made it abundantly
clear that so far as they are concerned anyone is welcome to join in and
help their side.
***
The other day a Farnham bellringer, after cycling seventy miles, rang a
peal of 5,940 changes. It is not known why.
***
"War diet," says Professor ROSIN in the _Lokal Anzeiger_, "improves the
action of the heart." But what the Germans really want to know is, what
improves a war diet?
***
Among the goods stolen from a Crouch Hill provision merchant's the other
day were eight cheeses and ten hams. As the place was much littered it is
thought that the cheeses put up a plucky fight.
***
It is pointed out by experienced agriculturists that it is useless to plant
potatoes unless steps are taken to destroy the insect pests. A Peterborough
farmer has written a poem in _The Daily Express_ against those pests, but
we fancy that if a permanent improvement is to be effected it will be
necessary to adopt much sterner measures than this.
***
The recent vagaries of the Weather Controller are said to be due to one of
the new railway regulations, by which you are required to "Show all
seasons, please."
***
Even Nature seems upset by the War. According to _The Evening Standard_
primroses are blooming in a Harrow garden, while only the other day a pair
of white spats were to be seen in the Strand.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Anxious Mother._ "NEVER MIND ABOUT YOUR BROTHER, MAUD. 'OLD
THE UMBRELLER OVER THE SUGAR!"]
* * * * *
Another Glimpse of the Obvious.