CHAPTER XI

Two days afterwards David stood at the door of a house in the

outskirts of the Auteuil district of Paris. The street had a

half-finished, miscellaneous air; new buildings of the villa type

were mixed up with old and dingy houses standing in gardens, which

had been evidently overtaken by the advancing stream of Paris,

having once enjoyed a considerable amount of country air and space.

It was at the garden gate of one of these older houses that David

rang, looking about him the while at the mean irregular street and

the ill-kept side-walks with their heaps of cinders and refuse.

A powerfully built woman appeared, scowling, in answer to the bell.

At first she flatly refused the new-comer admission. But David was

prepared. He set to work to convince her that he was not a Paris

creditor, and, further, that he was well aware M. Montjoie was not

at home, since he had passed him on the other side of the road,

apparently hurrying to the railway station, only a few minutes

before. He desired simply to see madame. At this the woman's

expression changed somewhat. She showed, however, no immediate

signs of letting him in, being clearly chosen and paid to be a

watch-dog. Then David brusquely put his hand in his pocket. Somehow

he must get this harridan out of the way at once! The same terror

was upon him that had been upon him now for many days and

nights--of losing command of himself, of being no more able to do

what he had to do.

The creature studied him, put out a greedy palm, developed a smile

still more repellent than her brutality, and let him in.

He found himself in a small, neglected garden; in front of him, to

the right, a wretched, weather-stained house, bearing every mark of

poverty and dilapidation, while to the left there stretched out

from the house a long glass structure, also in miserable

condition--a sculptor's studio, as he guessed.

His guide led him to the studio-door. Madame was there a few

minutes ago. As they approached, David stopped.

'I will knock. You may go back to the house. I am madame's brother.'

She looked at him once more, reluctant. Then, in the clearer light

of the garden, the likeness of the face to one she already knew

struck her with amazement; she turned and went off, muttering.

David knocked at the door; there was a movement within, and it was

cautiously opened.

'_Monsieur est sorti._--You!'

The brother and sister were face to face.

David closed the door behind him, and Louie retreated slowly, her

hands behind her, her tall figure drawing itself up, her face

setting into a frowning scorn.

'_You!_--what are you here for? We have done with each other!'

For answer David went up to a stove which was feebly burning in the

damp, cheerless place, put down his hat and stick, and bent over

it, stretching out his hands to the warmth. A chair was beside it,

and on the chair some scattered bits of silk and velvet, out of

which Louie was apparently fashioning a hat.

She stood still, observing him. She was in a loose dress of some

silky Oriental material, and on her black hair she wore a red

close-fitting cap with a fringe of golden coins dropping lightly

and richly round her superb head and face.

'What is the matter with you?' she asked him grimly, after a

minute's silence.' She has left you--that's plain!'

The young man involuntarily threw back his head as though he had

been struck, and a vivid colour rushed into his cheek. But he

answered quickly:

'We need not discuss my affairs. I did not come here to speak of

them. They are beyond mending. I came to see--before I go--whether

there is anything I can do to help you.'

'Much obliged to you!' she cried, flinging herself down on the edge

of a rough board platform, whereon stood a fresh and vigorous

clay-study, for which she had just been posing, to judge from her

dress. Beyond was the Maenad. And in the distance loomed a great

block of marble, upon which masons had been working that afternoon.

'I am _greatly_ obliged to you!' she repeated mockingly,

taking the crouching attitude of an animal ready to attack. 'You are

a pattern brother.'

Her glowing looks expressed the enmity and contempt she was at the

moment too excited to put into words.

David drew his hand across his eyes with a long breath. How was he

to get through it, this task of his, with this swollen, aching

brain and these trembling limbs? Louie _must_ let him speak;

he bitterly felt his physical impotence to wrestle with her.

He went up to her slowly and sat down beside her. She drew away

from him with a violent movement. But he laid his hand upon her

knee--a shaking hand which his impatient will tried in vain to

steady.

'Louie, look at me!' he commanded.

She did so unwillingly, but the proud repulsion of her lip did not

relax.

'Well, I dare say you look pretty bad. Whose fault is it? everybody

else but you knew what the creature was worth. Ask anybody!'

The lad's frame straightened and steadied. He took his hand from

her knee.

'Say that kind of thing again,' he said calmly, 'and I walk straight

out of that door, and you set eyes on me for the last time. That

would be what you want, I dare say. All I wish to point out is,

that you would be a great fool. I have not come here to-day to waste

words, but to propose something to your advantage--your

money-advantage,' he repeated deliberately, looking round the

dismal building with its ill-mended gaps and rents, and its

complete lack of the properties and appliances to which the

humblest modern artist pretends. 'To judge from what I heard in

Paris, and what I see, money is scarce here.'

His piteous sudden wish to soften her, to win a kind word from her,

from anyone, had passed away. He was beginning to take command of

her as in the old days.

'Well, maybe we are hard up,' she admitted slowly. 'People are such

brutes and won't wait, and a sculptor has to pay out for a lot of

things before he can make anything at all. But that statue will put

it all right,' and she pointed behind her to the Maenad. 'It's

me--it's the one you tried to put a stopper on.'

She looked at him darkly defiant. She was leaning back on one arm,

her foot beating with the trick familiar to her. For reckless and

evil splendour the figure was unsurpassable.

'When he sells that,' she went on, seeing that he did not answer,

'and he will sell it in a jiffy--it is the best he's ever

done--there'll be heaps of money.'

David smiled.

'For a week perhaps. Then, if I understand this business aright--I

have been doing my best, you perceive, to get information, and M.

Montjoie seems to be better known than one supposed to half

Paris--the game will begin again.'

'Never you mind,' she broke in, breathing quickly. 'Give me my

money--the money that belongs to me--and let me alone.'

'On one condition,' he said quietly. 'That money, as you remember,

is in my hands and at my disposal.'

'Ah! I supposed you would try to grab it!' she cried.

Even he was astonished at her violence--her insolence. The demon in

her had never been so plain, the woman never so effaced. His heart

dropped within him like lead, and his whole being shrank from her.

'Listen to me!' he said, seizing her strongly by the hand, while a

light of wrath leapt into his changed and bloodshot eyes. 'This man

will desert you; in a year's time he will have tired of you;

what'll you do then?'

'Manage for myself, thank you! without any canting interference

from you. I have had enough of that.'

'And fall again,' he said, releasing her, and speaking with a

deliberate intensity; 'fall again--from infamy to infamy!'

She sprang up.

'Mind yourself!' she cried.

Miserable moment! As he looked at her he felt that that weapon of

his old influence with her which, poor as it was, he had relied on

in the last resort all his life, had broken in his hand. His own

act had robbed it of all virtue. That pang of 'irreparableness'

which had smitten Elise smote him now. All was undone--all was

done!

He buried his face in his hands an instant. When he lifted it

again, she was standing with her arms folded across her chest,

leaning against an iron shaft which supported part of the roof.

'You had better go!' she said, still in a white heat. 'Why you ever

came I don't know. If you won't give me that money, I shall get it

somehow.'

Suddenly, as she spoke, everything--the situation, the subject of

their talk, the past--seemed to be wiped out of David's brain. He

stared round him helplessly. Why were they there--what had

happened?

This blankness lasted a certain number of seconds. Then it passed

away, and he painfully recovered his identity. But the experience

was not new to him--it would recur--let him be quick.

This time a happier instinct served him. He, too, rose and went up

to her.

'We are a pair of fools,' he said to her, half bitterly, half

gently; 'we reproach and revile each other, and all the time I am

come to give you not only what is yours, but all--all I have--that

it may stand between you and--and worse ruin.'

'Ruin!' she said, throwing back her head and catching at the word;

'speak for yourself! If I am Montjoie's mistress, Elise Delaunay

was yours. Don't preach. It won't go down.'

'I have no intention of preaching--don't alarm yourself,' he

replied quietly, this time controlling himself without difficulty.'

'I have only this to say. On the day when you become Montjoie's

wife, all our father's money--all the six hundred pounds Mr. Gurney

paid over to me in January, shall be paid to you.'

She started, caught her breath, tried to brazen it out.

'What is this idiocy for?' she asked coldly. 'What does marrying

matter to you?'

He sank down again on the chair by the stove, being, indeed, unable

to stand.

'Perhaps I can't tell you,' he said, after a pause, shading his

face from her with his hand; 'perhaps I could not make plain to

myself what I feel. But this I know--that this man with whom you

are living here is a man for whom nobody has a good word. I want to

give you a hold over him. But first--stop a moment, '--he dropped

his hand and looked up eagerly, 'will you leave him--leave him at

once? I could arrange that.'

'Make your mind easy,' she said shortly; 'he suits me--I stay. I

went with him, well, because I was dull--and because I wanted to

make you smart for it, if you're keen to know!--but if you think I

am anxious to go home, to be cried over by Dora and lectured by

you, you're vastly mistaken. I can manage him! I have my hold on

him--he knows very well what I am worth to him.'

She threw her head back superbly against the iron shaft, putting

one arm round it and resting her hot cheek against it as though for

coolness.

'Why should we argue?' he said sharply--after a wretched silence.

'I didn't come for that. If you won't leave him I have only this to

say. On the day he marries you, if the evidence of the marriage is

satisfactory to an English lawyer I have discovered in Paris and

whose address I will give you, six hundred pounds will be paid over

to you. It is there now, in the lawyer's hands. If not, I go home,

and the law does not compel me to hand you over one farthing.'

She was silent, and began to pace up and down.

'Montjoie despises marriage,' she said presently.

'Try whether he despises money too,' said David, and could not for

the life of him keep the sarcastic note out of his voice.

She bit her lip.

'And when, if it is done, must this precious thing be settled?'

'If your marriage does not take place within a month, Mr.

O'Kelly--I will leave you his address,' he put his hand into his

pocket--'has orders to return the money--'

'To whom?' she inquired, struck by his sudden break.

'To me, of course,' he said slowly. 'Is it perfectly plain? do you

understand? Now, then, listen. I have inquired what the law is--you

will have to be married both at the mairie and by the chaplain at

the British embassy.'

She stopped suddenly in her walk and confronted him.

'If I am married at all,' she said abruptly, 'I shall be married as

a Catholic.'

'A Catholic!' David stared at her. She enjoyed his astonishment.

'Oh, I have had that in my mind for a long time,' she said

scornfully. 'There is a priest at that church with the steps, you

know, near that cemetery place on the hill, who is very much

interested in me indeed. He speaks English. I used to go to

confession. Madame Cervin told me all about it, and how to do it; I

did it exact! Oh, if I am to be married, that will make it plain

sailing enough. It was awkward--while--'

She broke off and sat down again beside him, pondering and smiling

as he had seen her do in Manchester, when she had the prospect of a

new dress or some amusement that excited her.

'How have you been able to think about such things?' he asked her,

marvelling.

'Think about them! What was the good of that? It's the churches I like,

and the priests. Now there _is_ something to see in the Paris churches,

like the Madeleine--worth a dozen St. Damian's,--you may tell Dora that.

The flowers and the dresses and the music--they _are_ something like.

And the priests--'

She smiled again, little meditative smiles, as though she were

recalling her experiences.

'Well, I don't know that there's much about them,' she said at

last; 'they're queer, and they're awfully clever, and they want to

manage you, of course.'

She stopped, quite unable to express herself any more fully. But it

was evident that the traditional relation of the Catholic priest to

his penitent had been to her a subject of curiosity and

excitement--that she would gladly know more of it.

David could hardly believe his ears. He sat lost at first in the

pure surprise of it, in the sense of Louie's unlikeness to any

other human creature he had ever seen. Then a gleam of satisfaction

arose. He had heard of the hold on women possessed by the Catholic

Church, and maintained by her marvellous, and on the whole

admirable, system of direction. For himself, he would have no

priests of whatever Church. But his mind harboured none of the

common Protestant rules and shibboleths. In God's name, let the

priests get hold of this sister of his:--if they could--when he--

'Marry this man, then!' he said to her at last, breaking the silence

abruptly,' and square it with the Church, if you want to.'

'Oh, indeed!' she said mockingly. 'So you have nothing to say

against my turning Catholic? I should like to see Uncle Reuben's

face.'

Her voice had the exultant mischief of a child. It was evident that

her spirits were rising, that her mood towards her brother was

becoming more amiable.

'Nothing,' he said dryly, replying to her question.

Then he got up and looked for his hat. She watched him askance.

'What are you going for? I could get you some tea. _He_ won't

be in for hours.'

'I have said what I had to say. These'--taking a paper from his

pocket and laying it down, 'are all the directions, legal and other,

that concern you, as to the marriage. I drew them up this morning,

with Mr. O'Kelly. I have given you his address. You can communicate

with him at any time.'

'I can write to you, I suppose?'

'Better write to him,' he said quietly, 'he has instructions. He

seemed to me a good sort.'

'Where are you going?'

'Back to Paris, and then--home.'

She placed herself in his way, so that the sunny light of the late

afternoon, coming mostly from behind her, left her face in shadow.

'What'll you do without that money?' she asked abruptly.

He paused, getting together his answer with difficulty.

'I have the stock, and there is something left of the sixty pounds

Uncle Reuben brought. I shall do.'

'He'll muddle it all,' she said roughly. 'What's the good?'

And she folded her arms across her with the recklessness of one

quite ready and eager, if need be, to fight her own battle, with

her own weapons, in her own way.

'Get Mr. O'Kelly to keep it, if you can persuade him, and draw it

by degrees. I'd have made a trust of it, if it had been enough; but

it isn't. Twenty-four pounds a year: that's all you'd get, if we

tied up the capital.'

She laughed. Evidently her acquaintance with Montjoie had enlarged

her notions of money, which were precise and acute enough before.

'He spends that in a supper when he's in cash. I'll be curious to

see whether, all in a lump, it'll be enough to make him marry me.

Still, he is precious hard up: he don't stir out till dark, he's so

afraid of meeting people.'

'That's my hope,' said David heavily, hardly knowing what he said.

'Good-bye.'

'Hope!' she re-echoed bitterly. 'What d'you want to tie me to him

for, for good and all?'

And, turning away from him, she stared, frowning, through the dingy

glass door in to the darkening garden. In her mind there was once

more that strange uprising swell of reaction--of hatred of herself

and life.

Why, indeed? David could not have answered her question. He only

knew that there was a blind instinct in him driving him to this, as

the best that remained open--the only _ainde_ possible for

what had been so vilely done by himself, by her, and by the man who

had worked out her fall for a mere vicious whim. There was no word

in any mouth, it seemed to him, of his being in love with her.

There were all sorts of whirling thoughts in his mind--fragments

cast up by the waves of desolate experience he had been passing

through--inarticulate cries of warning, judgment, pain. But he

could put nothing into words.

'Good-bye, Louie!'

She turned and stood looking at him.

'What made you get ill?' she inquired, eyeing him.

His thirsty heart drank in the change of tone.

'I don't sleep,' he said hurriedly. 'It's the noise. The Nord

station is never quiet. Well, mind you've got to bring that off.

Keep the papers safe. Good-bye, for a long time'.

'I can come over when I want?' she said half sullenly.

'Yes,' he assented, 'but you won't want.'

He drew her by the hand with a solemn tremulous feeling, and kissed

her on the cheek. He would have liked to give her their father's

dying letter. It was there, in his coat-pocket. But he shrank from

the emotion of it. No, he must go. He had done all he could.

She opened the door for him, and took him to the garden-gate in

silence.

'When I'm married,' she said shortly, 'if ever I am--Lord knows!--you

can tell Uncle Reuben and Dora?'

'Yes. Good-bye.'

The gate closed behind him. He went away, hurrying towards the

Auteuil station.

When he landed again in the Paris streets, he stood irresolute.

'One more look,' he said to himself, 'one more.'

And he turned down the Rue Chantal. There was the familiar archway,

and the light shining behind the porter's door. Was her room

already stripped and bare, or was the broken glass--poor dumb

prophet!--still there, against the wall?

He wandered on through the lamp-lit city and the crowded pavements.

Elise--the wraith of her--went with him, hand in hand, ghost with

ghost, amid this multitude of men. Sometimes, breaking from this

dream-companionship, he would wake with terror to the perception of

his true, his utter loneliness. He was not made to be alone, and

the thought that nowhere in this great Paris was there a single

human being to whose friendly eye or hand he might turn him in his

need, swept across him from time to time, contracting the heart.

Dora--Mr. Ancrum--if they knew, they would be sorry.

Then again indifference and blankness came upon him, and he could

only move feebly on, seeing everything in a blur and mist. After

these long days and nights of sleeplessness, semi-starvation, and

terrible excitement, every nerve was sick, every organ out of gear.

The lights of the Tuileries, the stately pile of the Louvre, under

a gray driving sky.--There would be rain soon--ah, there it came!

the great drops hissing along the pavement. He pushed on to the

river, careless of the storm, soothed, indeed, by the cool dashes

of rain in his face and eyes.

The Place de la Concorde seemed to him as day, so brilliant

was the glare of its lamps. To the right, the fairyland of the

Champs-Elysées, the trees tossing under the sudden blast; in front,

the black trench of the river. On, on--let him see it all--gather

it all into his accusing heart and brain, and then at a stroke blot

out the inward and the outward vision, and 'cease upon the midnight

with no pain'!

He walked till he could walk no more; then he sank on a dark seat

on the Quai Saint-Michel, cursing himself. Had he no nerve left for

the last act--was that what this delay, this fooling meant? Coward!

But not here! not in these streets--this publicity! Back--to this

little noisome room. There lock the door, and make an end!

On the way northward, at the command of a sudden caprice, he sat

outside a blazing cafe on the Boulevard and ordered absinthe, which

he had never tasted. While he waited he looked round on the painted

women, on the men escorting them, on the loungers with their

newspapers and cigars, the shouting, supercilious waiters. But all

the little odious details of the scene escaped him; he felt only

the touchingness of his human comradeship, the yearning of a common

life, bruised and wounded but still alive within him.

Then he drank the stuff they gave him, loathed it, paid and

staggered on. When he reached his hotel he crept upstairs, dreading

to meet any of the harsh-faced people who frowned as he passed

them. He had done abject things these last three days to conciliate

them--tipped the waiter, ordered food, not that he might eat it but

that he might pay for it, bowed to the landlady--all to save the

shrinking of his sore and quivering nerves. In vain! It seemed to

him that since that last look from Elise as she nestled into the

fern, there had been no kindness for him in human eyes--save,

perhaps, from that woman with the child.

As he dragged himself up to his fourth floor, the stimulant he had

taken began to work upon his starved senses. The key was in his

door, he turned it and fell into his room, while the door, with the

key still in it, swung to behind him. Guiding himself by the

furniture, he reached the only chair the room possessed--an

arm-chair of the commonest and cheapest hotel sort, which, because

of the uncertainty of its legs, the _femme de chambre_ had

propped up against the bed. He sat down in it and his head fell

back on the counterpane. There was much to do. He had to write to

John about the sale of his stock and the payment of his debts. He

had to put his father's letter into an envelope for Louie, to send

all the papers and letters he had on him and a last message to Mr.

Ancrum, and then to post these letters, so that nothing private

might fall into the hands of the French police, who would, of

course, open his bag.

While these thoughts were rising in him, a cloud came over the

brain, bringing with it, as it seemed, the first moment of ease

which had been his during this awful fortnight. Before he yielded

himself to it he thrust his hand into his coat-pocket with a sudden

vague anxiety to feel what was there. But even as he withdrew his

fingers they relaxed; a black object came with them, and fell

unheeded, first on his knee, then on to a coat lying on the floor

between him and the window.

A quarter of an hour afterwards there was a stir and voices on the

landing outside. Some one knocked at the door of No. 139. No

answer. 'The key is in the door. _Ouvrez donc!_' cried the

waiter, as he ran downstairs again to the restaurant, which was

still crowded. The visitor opened the door and peeped in. Some

quick words broke from him. He rushed in and up to the bed. But

directly the heavy feverish breathing of the figure in the chair

caught his ear his look of sudden horror relaxed, and he fell back,

looking at the sleeping youth.

It was a piteous sight he saw! Exhaustion, helplessness, sorrow,

physical injury, and moral defeat, were written in every line of

the poor drawn face and shrunken form. The brow was furrowed, the

breathing hard, the mouth dry and bloodless. Upon the mind of the

new-comer, possessed as it was with the image of what David Grieve

had been two short months before, the effect of the spectacle was

presently overwhelming.

He fell on his knees beside the sleeper. But as he did so, he

noticed the black thing on the floor, stooped to it, and took it

up. That it should be a loaded revolver seemed to him at that

moment the most natural thing in the world, little used as he

personally was to such possessions. He looked at it carefully, took

out the two cartridges it contained, put them into one pocket and

the revolver into the other.

Then he laid his arm round the lad's neck.

'David!'

The young man woke directly and sat up, shaking with terror and

excitement. He pushed his visitor from him, looking at him with

defiance. Then he slipped his hand inside his coat and sprang up

with a cry.

'David!--dear boy--dear fellow!'

The voice penetrated the lad's ear. He caught his visitor and

dragged him forward to the light. It fell on the twisted face and

wet eyes of Mr. Ancrum. So startling was the vision, so poignant

were the associations which it set vibrating, that David stood

staring and trembling, struck dumb.

'Oh, my poor lad! my poor lad! John wanted me to come yesterday,

and I delayed. I was a selfish wretch. Now I will take you home.'

David fell again upon his chair, too feeble to speak, too feeble

even to weep, the little remaining colour ebbing from his cheeks.

The minister used all his strength, and laid him on the bed. Then

he rang and made even the callous and haughty madame, who was

presently summoned, listen to and obey him while he sent for brandy

and a doctor, and let the air of the night into the stifling room.

The History of David Grieve · 第 11 / 19 章