Revolution
Realizing that I was attempting an experiment which might lead to
disaster, I took one or two simple precautions before visiting Thuno
Flâtum. The first was to disguise myself, for I did not want it known
that it was a stranger, a foreigner, a "colored barbarian," who was
challenging the throne of the Dictator. The disguise was accomplished
simply enough, largely by means of some chalk-like powder, with which
I made my face milky pale; in addition, I used a pair of heavy amber
glasses, so as to conceal the gray of my eyes; and I steeped my hair
in an ashen dye, in order to give it the complexion considered normal.
Thus equipped, I was hardly to be distinguished from the average man of
Wu.
But as I drew near the Dictator's headquarters, it occurred to me to
take another precaution. Was I not in danger from fanatics who, furious
at my interference with the air-supply, might waylay me and seek my
life? With this thought in mind, I dropped back to a position toward
the rear of the procession, after giving instructions as to where my
henchmen were to proceed. And well that I did so! When we had come to
within half a mile of that brilliant cavern where Thuno Flâtum held
court, we were impeded by a rabble, partly curious, partly hostile, who
flung stones and epithets, and distributed some "sneeze-gas bombs," by
which half a score of my followers were disabled.
Fortunately, I myself emerged unharmed; and a few minutes later I
arrived, with the majority of my followers, in that great hall which
I so well remembered from my previous visit to the Dictator. As on the
former occasion, the entrance was guarded by a row of soldiers with
twenty-foot pikes and triangular helmets, who stood statuesque and
stone-like, not making so much as a gesture upon our arrival; as on the
former occasion, the walls were emblazoned with white, red, and yellow
lights, with enormous dragon-shaped banners of green and vermilion,
and with long lines of swords, pikes and helmets. And, also as on the
former occasion, Dictator Thuno Flâtum sat before the rows of great
mirrors on the raised platform, adorned with purple crest and a great
string of rubies, while twenty attendants stood about, solicitous to
watch every move and gesture of their imperial master.
But how different was this arrival from my previous visit! Then
I had been forced to grovel and to approach the sovereign on all
fours, waiting impatiently until his lordship should condescend to
notice my existence. But today I marched boldly forward, with no
hint of deference; and my attendants, reduced to such a state of
thoughtlessness that they did not know themselves to be in the presence
of Thuno Flâtum, unquestioningly followed my example. Not till I was at
the very pedestal of the throne did I pause; and then it was without
any sign of submission.
"Thuno Flâtum," I announced, with an abrupt bow, "here I am! I come at
your summons, as the President of the People's Better Air Association!"
It was easy to see that my words had produced consternation. The
helmeted guards, clearly revealed by their reflections in the mirrors,
unbent from their stony rigidity sufficiently to allow the pikes to
tremble in their hands; the body servants of Thuno Flâtum seemed
paralyzed with amazement, and for the moment forgot their attentions
to their regal master in order to stare at me in petrified unbelief.
And a group of spectators, doing obeisance upon their hands and knees,
collapsed with surprise, and did not regain their composure for many
minutes.
Apparently never before had Thuno Flâtum been addressed so familiarly!
The monarch himself seemed dumbfounded and leaned forward in his chair
until I feared he would fall out, staring at me with his binocular-like
eye-pieces as if trying to see right through me.
It was a moment before any of his attendants could recover themselves
sufficiently to lift the megaphone to his mouth.
"What is that you say?" he squeaked, when at length he was equipped
with his speaking tube. "Do you know that you are addressing the Prime
Dictator and High Chief Potentate of Wu?"
"To be sure, Your Abysmal Excellency, that is why I am here," I
returned, suavely. "It would hardly suit my purpose to waste time on
any lesser official."
The "Prime Dictator" glared at me. Owing to the eye-pieces, the
ear-pieces, and the nose-pieces that covered his face, it was
impossible to see his expression clearly; yet I am sure he glared at
me. And his puny little form shook with such a violence of wrath that
not until his attendants had fanned him for five minutes and applied
doses of cold water was he able to find words again.
"Who are you, to speak to me in this manner?" he at length demanded, in
accents which showed that he had not pierced my disguise. "Your tones
are the uncultivated ones of some Third Class viper! Do you not realize
that you have been guilty of Contempt of the First Class--an offense
worse than treason? Better men have been executed for less atrocious
crimes!"
* * * * *
Exhausted with the effort of this long speech, Thuno Flâtum had to be
fanned again by his lackeys and allowed several minutes in which to
recuperate.
"What's to prevent me from punishing your insolence?" he finally
resumed. "Suppose I order you to be violet-rayed? I've more than a mind
to do so!"
Through the mirrors, I could see how the guards behind me began to
creep forward, with their pikes pointed in my direction, as if eager
to commit capital punishment upon me.
Though I could not repress a shudder, I knew that I had no course
except to be bold. "Punish me if you wish, Your Abysmal Excellency," I
challenged, "but my followers cannot be disposed of so easily. Those
you see here are as nothing to the hosts waiting to avenge me."
"What do I care for your followers?" snapped Thuno Flâtum. "You
cannot cow me with threats! Men of my Class have ruled for a hundred
generations, and there has never been a revolt!"
"All the more reason that one is due now!" I insisted. "Remember, Your
Abysmal Excellency, what power I hold! I am more precious to you and
your people than a thousand times my weight in silver!"
Through the mirrors behind me, I could see that the guards were still
creeping forward. Also, I could detect a gleam of mirth in the salmon
eyes of some of the spectators, and realized that my words had been
taken less seriously than I could have wished.
But my trump card was still up my sleeve.
"Remember, Your Abysmal Excellency," I warned, "only one man in all Wu
is able to restore your ventilation. That man is I. If I perish, the
secret perishes with me, and you will all be turned over by lack of
air."
Half-suppressed groans from the spectators, and from Thuno's
attendants, showed that this bolt had struck home.
"How do I know you speak truth?" demanded the Dictator, with a furious
blare of the megaphone.
"Test me, Your Abysmal Excellency. If you will agree to my terms, I
will restore the ventilation at any moment you stipulate."
"You talk like a madman!" barked my opponent through his megaphone.
And then, after a moment's hesitation, "Still, there can be no harm in
hearing your offer. If you do not keep your promise, there will always
be time for punishment. What are your terms?"
For a moment I did not answer. I stood staring at the Dictator intently
and was moved almost to pity for this contemptible being, with his
shrivelled limbs and artificial organs. Nevertheless, I picked my words
with the utmost caution, for I could see the guards behind me still
creeping forward by inches, while my own followers made way before
them; and I knew that the success or failure of my venture might depend
upon my next utterance.
[Illustration: I knew that the success or failure of my venture might
depend upon my next utterance.]
"Your Abysmal Excellency," I began, "according to all reports, you have
ruled long and notably. You have performed great services for the First
Class and for your country. But it is not fair that any man, however
willing, be harnessed too long with the yoke of state. After a time,
his shoulders should be relieved of the burden, so that he may enjoy
the pleasures of private life. It is for this reason, Your Abysmal
Excellency--"
At this point, my speech was rudely halted. A blast of the Dictator's
megaphone rang through the audience-chamber as shrilly as a cry for
help. And Thuno Flâtum, straining forward with quivering form and face
that turned all colors from white to purple, staggered out of his seat
in his rage, shook his midget fist at me, and collapsed.
It was several minutes before his attendants could fan him back to life
and his thoughts could find expression.
"What!" he howled through the megaphone, after being restored to
himself. "What is that you suggest? You impudent rat! Do you have the
daring, the effrontery to ask that I--that I step down--"
Choked by the fury of his own words, he was unable to continue.
* * * * *
An uneasy glance at the mirrors showed me that the guards were still
creeping up from behind, while my followers made way before them like
sheep. I did not care for the looks of their long gleaming pikes, nor
did I like the fascinated glances which the spectators were fastening
upon the pike-bearers, as if awaiting some interesting exhibition.
Therefore I realized that I must lose no time. "Your Abysmal
Excellency," I pleaded, hastily, "you have caught my idea. For the good
of your country and the restoration of ventilation, it is time that you
step down, and that I step up--"
By now the Dictator had regained his breath sufficiently to interrupt
me by bellowing through the megaphone. "So, you insolent hound! Now
we have your terms, have we? You would displace me on the throne! You
would displace me--_me_ Thuno Flâtum, the High Chief Potentate of Wu!
Seize him, guards! Seize him!"
Before I had time to leap aside, I felt heavy arms about my shoulders
and found myself pinned in the iron grip of three guardsmen.
Though ready to collapse once more with the effort of so much speaking,
Thuno Flâtum was able to bawl once more.
"Take him away! Away! At once! Waste no time! I'll sign the death
warrant!"
Vainly I strove to command my followers, to order them to my rescue.
But, automatons that they were, they failed at the crisis; something
had gone wrong with the operation of the drug, and they seemed
powerless to obey.
As the guards started to drag me off, I saw how excitedly the
Dictator's twenty attendants were laboring to restore him to life.
"One minute!" I shouted to the guards. "I must have another word with
his Abysmal Excellency!"
The guards stood hesitating. One of them pulled rudely at my shoulders,
while I repeated the request; but the others seemed doubtful, and by
virtue of loud appeals I was able to restrain them until Thuno Flâtum
had recovered.
"Take him away! Away! At once!" reiterated the ruler angrily through
his megaphone. "I'll sign the death warrant! We'll kill him by inches
with sulphur fumes--"
While the guards started to drag me away once more, and my mind
conjured up visions of suffocation by sulphur, I cried out in a last
desperate plea.
"One minute, Your Excellency! Remember, if I die, you all die too!
Without me, the air will remain off forever!"
"Without you, the air will remain off forever?" echoed Thuno Flâtum.
"Then let it stay off! What do I care? Have I not my oxygen tanks?"
And derisively he pointed to the steel tanks connecting with his
breathing tubes.
Quick as a flash, I saw my opportunity. "So you would breathe while
your people smother?" I demanded. And then, turning to the guards, "Do
your duty, men! Take me away! Thuno Flâtum, your master, will still
breathe oxygen, while you will all smother!"
The effect of these words was electrical. One of the guards, releasing
me with a hurried gesture, reached for his three-pointed helmet and
flung it off, to reveal a gasping, perspiring individual close to the
last stages of exhaustion.
"I'm through!" he groaned. "By the gray hairs of my ancestors, I'm
through! For wakes and wakes I've been suffocating in this steel case!
I'm not going to go without air altogether! Let some one else be turned
over if they want! I'm going on strike!"
"So am I!" announced a second guard, snatching off his helmet.
"So am I!" snapped a third, and a fourth, and a fifth, until, in a
moment, all the pike-bearers stood unhelmeted and rebellious. "I'm
going on strike! On strike! On strike!"
"We want air!" one of them started the cry. And "We want air, we want
air, we want air!" began to echo and reverberate throughout the whole
great hall. And the guards, surging forward in an angry mass, lost all
semblance of military order, but swung their pikes furiously in a chaos
of rushing, pushing, scuffling, shouting forms.
For a moment, Thuno Flâtum was too thunderstricken for words. Then, as
his attendants crowded about him protectively, I thought I heard his
voice lifted during a momentary lull in the storm. "This is sedition!
Sedition! I'll have you all violet-rayed! I'll have you all--"
But I did not hear the conclusion of the speech. Taking advantage
of the hubbub, I had started hastily toward the door, ordering my
attendants to follow.
An instant later, as I slipped into the safety of the passageway, I was
aware only of the hoarse yelling of the guardsmen and of the confusion
of waving pikes. At last the Revolution had begun!