And shook from out his pipe the seeds of fire;
Then snapt his box, and stroked his belly down:
Rosy and reverend, though without a gown.
Bland and familiar to the throne he came,
Led up the youth, and call'd the goddess dame.
Then thus: 'From priestcraft happily set free,
Lo! every finish'd son returns to thee: 500
First, slave to words,[437] then vassal to a name,
Then dupe to party; child and man the same;
Bounded by nature, narrow'd still by art,
A trifling head, and a contracted heart;
Thus bred, thus taught, how many have I seen,
Smiling on all, and smiled on by a queen?[438]
Mark'd out for honours, honour'd for their birth,
To thee the most rebellious things on earth:
Now to thy gentle shadow all are shrunk,
All melted down in pension or in punk! 510
So K----, so B---- sneak'd into the grave,
A monarch's half, and half a harlot's slave.
Poor W----,[439] nipp'd in folly's broadest bloom,
Who praises now? his chaplain on his tomb.
Then take them all, oh, take them to thy breast!
Thy Magus, goddess! shall perform the rest.'
With that, a wizard old his cup extends,
Which whoso tastes forgets his former friends,
Sire, ancestors, himself. One casts his eyes
Up to a star, and like Endymion dies: 520
A feather, shooting from another's head,
Extracts his brain, and principle is fled;
Lost is his God, his country, everything;
And nothing left but homage to a king![440]
The vulgar herd turn off to roll with hogs,
To run with horses, or to hunt with dogs;
But, sad example! never to escape
Their infamy, still keep the human shape.
But she, good goddess, sent to every child
Firm Impudence, or Stupefaction mild; 530
And strait succeeded, leaving shame no room,
Cibberian forehead, or Cimmerian gloom.
Kind Self-conceit to some her glass applies,
Which no one looks in with another's eyes:
But as the flatterer or dependant paint,
Beholds himself a patriot, chief, or saint.
On others Interest her gay livery flings,
Interest, that waves on party-colour'd wings:
Turn'd to the sun, she casts a thousand dyes,
And, as she turns, the colours fall or rise. 540
Others the Syren sisters warble round,
And empty heads console with empty sound.
No more, alas! the voice of fame they hear,
The balm of Dulness[441] trickling in their ear.
Great C----, H----, P----, R----, K----,
Why all your toils? your sons have learn'd to sing.
How quick ambition hastes to ridicule!
The sire is made a peer, the son a fool.
On some, a priest succinct in amice white
Attends; all flesh is nothing in his sight! 550
Beeves, at his touch, at once to jelly turn,
And the huge boar is shrunk into an urn:
The board with specious miracles he loads,[442]
Turns hares to larks, and pigeons into toads.
Another (for in all what one can shine?)
Explains the _séve_ and _verdeur_ of the vine.[443]
What cannot copious sacrifice atone?
Thy truffles, Perigord! thy hams, Bayonne!
With French libation, and Italian strain,
Wash Bladen white, and expiate Hays's stain.[444] 560
Knight lifts the head; for what are crowds undone
To three essential partridges in one?
Gone every blush, and silent all reproach,
Contending princes mount them in their coach.
Next bidding all draw near on bended knees,
The queen confers her titles and degrees.
Her children first of more distinguish'd sort,
Who study Shakspeare at the Inns of Court,
Impale a glow-worm, or vertú profess,
Shine in the dignity of F.R.S. 570
Some, deep freemasons, join the silent race,
Worthy to fill Pythagoras's place:
Some botanists, or florists at the least,
Or issue members of an annual feast.
Nor pass'd the meanest unregarded; one
Rose a Gregorian, one a Gormogon.[445]
The last, not least in honour or applause,
Isis and Cam made Doctors of her Laws.
Then, blessing all, 'Go, children of my care!
To practice now from theory repair. 580
All my commands are easy, short, and full:
My sons! be proud, be selfish, and be dull.
Guard my prerogative, assert my throne:
This nod confirms each privilege your own.
The cap and switch be sacred to his grace;
With staff and pumps the marquis lead the race;
From stage to stage the licensed earl may run,
Pair'd with his fellow-charioteer the sun;
The learned baron butterflies design,
Or draw to silk Arachne's subtile line;[446] 590
The judge to dance his brother sergeant call;[447]
The senator at cricket urge the ball;
The bishop stow (pontific luxury!)
An hundred souls of turkeys in a pie;
The sturdy squire to Gallic masters stoop,
And drown his lands and manors in a soup.
Others import yet nobler arts from France,
Teach kings to fiddle, and make senates dance.[448]
Perhaps more high some daring son may soar,
Proud to my list to add one monarch more; 600
And nobly conscious, princes are but things
Born for first ministers, as slaves for kings,
Tyrant supreme! shall three estates command,
And MAKE ONE MIGHTY DUNCIAD OF THE LAND!'
More she had spoke, but yawn'd--All Nature nods:
What mortal can resist the yawn of gods?
Churches and chapels instantly it reach'd;
(St James's first, for leaden Gilbert[449] preach'd;)
Then catch'd the schools; the Hall scarce kept awake;
The Convocation gaped, but could not speak; 610
Lost was the nation's sense, nor could be found,
While the long solemn unison went round:
Wide, and more wide, it spread o'er all the realm;
Even Palinurus nodded at the helm:
The vapour mild o'er each committee crept;
Unfinish'd treaties in each office slept;
And chiefless armies dozed out the campaign;
And navies yawn'd for orders on the main.[450]
O Muse! relate (for you can tell alone,
Wits have short memories, and dunces none,) 620
Relate, who first, who last resign'd to rest;
Whose heads she partly, whose completely bless'd;
What charms could faction, what ambition, lull,
The venal quiet, and entrance the dull;
'Till drown'd was sense, and shame, and right, and wrong--
O sing, and hush the nations with thy song!
In vain, in vain,--the all-composing hour
Resistless falls: the Muse obeys the power.
She comes! she comes! the sable throne behold
Of Night primeval, and of Chaos old! 630
Before her, Fancy's gilded clouds decay,
And all its varying rainbows die away.
Wit shoots in vain its momentary fires,
The meteor drops, and in a flash expires.
As one by one, at dread Medea's strain,
The sick'ning stars fade off the ethereal plain;
As Argus' eyes, by Hermes' wand oppress'd,
Closed one by one to everlasting rest;
Thus at her felt approach, and secret might,
Art after art goes out, and all is night. 640
See skulking Truth to her old cavern fled,[451]
Mountains of casuistry heap'd o'er her head!
Philosophy, that lean'd on heaven before,
Shrinks to her second cause, and is no more.
Physic of Metaphysic begs defence,
And Metaphysic calls for aid on Sense!
See Mystery to Mathematics fly!
In vain! they gaze, turn giddy, rave, and die.
Religion, blushing, veils her sacred fires,
And unawares Morality expires. 650
Nor public flame, nor private, dares to shine;
Nor human spark is left, nor glimpse divine!
Lo! thy dread empire, Chaos! is restored;
Light dies before thy uncreating word:
Thy hand, great Anarch! lets the curtain fall;
And universal darkness buries all.
VARIATIONS.
VER. 114--
'What! no respect, he cried, for Shakspeare's page?'
VER. 441. The common soul, &c. In the first edition, thus--
Of souls the greater part, Heaven's common make,
Serve but to keep fools pert, and knaves awake;
And most but find that sentinel of God,
A drowsy watchman in the land of Nod.
VER. 643. In the former edition, it stood thus--
Philosophy, that reach'd the heavens before,
Shrinks to her hidden cause, and is no more.
BY THE AUTHOR.
A DECLARATION.
Whereas certain haberdashers of points and particles, being instigated
by the spirit of pride, and assuming to themselves the name of critics
and restorers, have taken upon them to adulterate the common and current
sense of our glorious ancestors, poets of this realm, by clipping,
coining, defacing the images, mixing their own base alloy, or otherwise
falsifying the same; which they publish, utter, and vend as genuine: The
said haberdashers having no right thereto, as neither heirs, executors,
administrators, assigns, or in any sort related to such poets, to all or
any of them: Now we, having carefully revised this our Dunciad,[452]
beginning with the words 'The Mighty Mother,' and ending with the words
'buries all,' containing the entire sum of one thousand seven hundred
and fifty-four verses, declare every word, figure, point, and comma of
this impression to be authentic: And do therefore strictly enjoin and
forbid any person or persons whatsoever, to erase, reverse, put between
hooks, or by any other means, directly or indirectly, change or mangle
any of them. And we do hereby earnestly exhort all our brethren to
follow this our example, which we heartily wish our great predecessors
had heretofore set, as a remedy and prevention of all such abuses.
Provided always, that nothing in this Declaration shall be construed to
limit the lawful and undoubted right of every subject of this realm, to
judge, censure, or condemn, in the whole or in part, any poem or poet
whatsoever.
Given under our hand at London, this third day of January, in the year
of our Lord one thousand seven hundred thirty and two.
Declarat' cor' me,
JOHN BARBER, Mayor.
APPENDIX TO THE DUNCIAD.
I.--PREFACE
PREFIXED TO THE FIVE FIRST IMPERFECT EDITIONS OF THE DUNCIAD, IN THREE
BOOKS, PRINTED AT DUBLIN AND LONDON, IN OCTAVO AND DUODECIMO, 1727.
THE PUBLISHER TO THE READER.
It will be found a true observation, though somewhat surprising, that
when any scandal is vented against a man of the highest distinction and
character, either in the state or in literature, the public in general
afford it a most quiet reception; and the larger part accept it as
favourably as if it were some kindness done to themselves: whereas, if a
known scoundrel or blockhead but chance to be touched upon, a whole
legion is up in arms, and it becomes the common cause of all scribblers,
booksellers, and printers whatsoever.
Not to search too deeply into the reason hereof, I will only observe as
a fact, that every week for these two months past, the town has been
persecuted with pamphlets, advertisements, letters, and weekly essays,
not only against the wit and writings, but against the character and
person of Mr Pope. And that of all those men who have received pleasure
from his works, which by modest computation may be about a hundred
thousand in these kingdoms of England and Ireland (not to mention
Jersey, Guernsey, the Orcades, those in the new world, and foreigners
who have translated him into their languages), of all this number not a
man hath stood up to say one word in his defence.
The only exception is the author of the following poem, who, doubtless,
had either a better insight into the grounds of this clamour, or a
better opinion of Mr Pope's integrity, joined with a greater personal
love for him, than any other of his numerous friends and admirers.
Further, that he was in his peculiar intimacy, appears from the
knowledge he manifests of the most private authors of all the anonymous
pieces against him, and from his having in this poem attacked no man
living, who had not before printed or published some scandal against
this gentleman.
How I came possessed of it is no concern to the reader; but it would
have been a wrong to him had I detained the publication, since those
names which are its chief ornaments die off daily so fast, as must
render it too soon unintelligible. If it provoke the author to give us a
more perfect edition, I have my end.
Who he is I cannot say, and (which is a great pity) there is certainly
nothing in his style and manner of writing which can distinguish or
discover him: for if it bears any resemblance to that of Mr Pope, 'tis
not improbable but it might be done on purpose, with a view to have it
pass for his. But by the frequency of his allusions to Virgil, and a
laboured (not to say affected) shortness in imitation of him, I should
think him more an admirer of the Roman poet than of the Grecian, and in
that not of the same taste with his friend.
I have been well informed, that this work was the labour of full six
years of his life, and that he wholly retired himself from all the
avocations and pleasures of the world, to attend diligently to its
correction and perfection; and six years more he intended to bestow upon
it, as it should seem by this verse of Statius, which was cited at the
head of his manuscript--
'Oh mihi bissenos multum vigilata per annos,
Duncia!'
Hence, also, we learn the true title of the poem; which, with the same
certainty as we call that of Homer the Iliad, of Virgil the Aeneid, of
Camoens the Lusiad, we may pronounce, could have been, and can be no
other than
THE DUNCIAD.
It is styled heroic, as being doubly so: not only with respect to its
nature, which, according to the best rules of the ancients, and
strictest ideas of the moderns, is critically such; but also with regard
to the heroical disposition and high courage of the writer, who dared to
stir up such a formidable, irritable, and implacable race of mortals.
There may arise some obscurity in chronology from the names in the poem,
by the inevitable removal of some authors, and insertion of others in
their niches. For whoever will consider the unity of the whole design,
will be sensible that the poem was not made for these authors, but these
authors for the poem. I should judge that they were clapped in as they
rose, fresh and fresh, and changed from day to day; in like manner as
when the old boughs wither, we thrust new ones into a chimney.
I would not have the reader too much troubled or anxious, if he cannot
decipher them; since when he shall have found them out, he will probably
know no more of the persons than before.
Yet we judged it better to preserve them as they are, than to change
them for fictitious names; by which the satire would only be multiplied,
and applied to many instead of one. Had the hero, for instance, been
called Codrus, how many would have affirmed him to have been Mr T., Mr
E., Sir R. B., &c.; but now all that unjust scandal is saved by calling
him by a name, which by good luck happens to be that of a real person.
II.--A LIST OF BOOKS, PAPERS, AND VERSES,
IN WHICH OUR AUTHOR WAS ABUSED, BEFORE THE PUBLICATION OF THE DUNCIAD;
WITH THE TRUE NAMES OF THE AUTHORS.
Reflections Critical and Satirical on a late Rhapsody, called an Essay
on Criticism. By Mr Dennis. Printed by B. Lintot, price 6d.
A New Rehearsal, or Bayes the Younger; containing an Examen of Mr Rowe's
plays, and a word or two on Mr Pope's Rape of the Lock. Anon. [By
Charles Gildon]. Printed for J. Roberts, 1714, price 1s.
Homerides, or a Letter to Mr Pope, occasioned by his intended
translation of Homer. By Sir Iliad Doggrel. [Tho. Burnet and G. Ducket,
Esquires]. Printed for W. Wilkins, 1715, price 9d.
Aesop at the Bear Garden; a Vision, in imitation of the Temple of Fame.
By Mr Preston. Sold by John Morphew, 1715, price 6d.
The Catholic Poet, or Protestant Barnaby's Sorrowful Lamentations; a
Ballad about Homer's Iliad. By Mrs Centlivre and others, 1715, price 1d.
An Epilogue to a Puppet Show at Bath, concerning the said Iliad. By
George Ducket, Esq. Printed by E. Curll.
A Complete Key to the What-d'ye-call-it? Anon. [By Griffin, a player,
supervised by Mr Th---]. Printed by J. Roberts, 1715.
A True Character of Mr P. and his Writings, in a Letter to a Friend.
Anon. [Dennis]. Printed for S. Popping, 1716, price 3d.
The Confederates, a Farce. By Joseph Gay. [J. D. Breval]. Printed for R.
Burleigh, 1717, price 1s.
Remarks upon Mr Pope's Translation of Homer; with Two Letters concerning
the Windsor Forest, and the Temple of Fame. By Mr Dennis. Printed for E.
Curll, 1717, price 1s. 6d.
Satires on the Translators of Homer, Mr P. and Mr T. Anon. [Bez.
Morris]. 1717, price 6d.
The Triumvirate; or, a Letter from Palaemon to Celia at Bath. Anon.
[Leonard Welsted]. 1711, folio, price 1s.
The Battle of Poets, an Heroic Poem. By Thomas Cooke. Printed for J.
Roberts. Folio, 1725.
Memoirs of Lilliput. Anon. [Eliza Haywood]. Octavo, printed in 1727.
An Essay on Criticism, in Prose. By the Author of the Critical History
of England [J. Oldmixon]. Octavo, printed 1728.
Gulliveriana and Alexandriana; with an ample Preface and Critique on
Swift and Pope's Miscellanies. By Jonathan Smedley. Printed by J.
Roberts. Octavo, 1728.
Characters of the Times; or, an Account of the Writings, Characters,
&c., of several Gentlemen libelled by S---- and P---, in a late
Miscellany. Octavo, 1728.
Remarks on Mr Pope's Rape of the Lock, in Letters to a Friend. By Mr
Dennis. Written in 1724, though not printed till 1728. Octavo.
VERSES, LETTERS, ESSAYS, OR ADVERTISEMENTS, IN THE PUBLIC PRINTS.
British Journal, Nov. 25, 1727. A Letter on Swift and Pope's
Miscellanies. [Writ by M. Concanen].
Daily Journal, March 18, 1728. A Letter by Philo-mauri. James Moore
Smith.
_Ibid_. March 29. A Letter about Thersites; accusing the author of
disaffection to the Government. By James Moore Smith.
Mist's Weekly Journal, March 30. An Essay on the Arts of a Poet's
Sinking in Reputation; or, a Supplement to the Art of Sinking in Poetry.
[Supposed by Mr Theobald].
Daily Journal, April 3. A Letter under the name of Philo-ditto. By James
Moore Smith.
Flying Post, April 4. A Letter against Gulliver and Mr P. [By Mr
Oldmixon.]
Daily Journal, April 5. An Auction of Goods at Twickenham. By James
Moore Smith.
The Flying Post, April 6. A Fragment of a Treatise upon Swift and Pope.
By Mr Oldmixon.
The Senator, April 9. On the same. By Edward Roome.
Daily Journal, April 8. Advertisement by James Moore Smith.
Flying Post, April 13. Verses against Dr Swift, and against Mr P---'s
Homer. By J. Oldmixon.
Daily Journal, April 23. Letter about the Translation of the Character
of Thersites in Homer. By Thomas Cooke, &c.
Mist's Weekly Journal, April 27. A Letter of Lewis Theobald.
Daily Journal, May 11. A Letter against Mr P. at large. Anon. [John
Dennis].
All these were afterwards reprinted in a pamphlet, entitled, A
Collection of all the Verses, Essays, Letters, and Advertisements,
occasioned by Mr Pope and Swift's Miscellanies, prefaced by Concanen,
Anonymous, octavo, and printed for A. Moore, 1728, price 1s. Others of
an elder date, having lain as waste paper many years, were, upon the
publication of the Dunciad, brought out, and their authors betrayed by
the mercenary booksellers (in hope of some possibility of vending a
few), by advertising them in this manner:--"The Confederates, a Farce.
By Captain Breval (for which he was put into the Dunciad). An Epilogue
to Powell's Puppet Show. By Colonel Ducket (for which he is put into the
Dunciad). Essays, &c. By Sir Richard Blackmore. (N.B.--It was for a
passage of this book that Sir Richard was put into the Dunciad)." And so
of others.
AFTER THE DUNCIAD, 1728.
An Essay on the Dunciad, octavo. Printed for J. Roberts. [In this book,
p. 9, it was formally declared, 'That the complaint of the aforesaid
libels and advertisements was forged and untrue; that all mouths had
been silent, except in Mr Pope's praise; and nothing against him
published, but by Mr Theobald.']
Sawney, in Blank Verse, occasioned by the Dunciad; with a Critique on
that Poem. By J. Ralph [a person never mentioned in it at first, but
inserted after]. Printed for J. Roberts, octavo.
A Complete Key to the Dunciad. By E. Curll. 12mo, price 6d.
A Second and Third Edition of the same, with Additions, 12mo.
The Popiad. By E. Curll. Extracted from J. Dennis, Sir Richard
Blackmore, &c. 12mo, price 6d.
The Curliad. By the same E. Curll.
The Female Dunciad. Collected by the same Mr Curll. 12mo, price 6d. With
the Metamorphosis of P. into a Stinging Nettle. By Mr Foxton. 12mo.
The Metamorphosis of Scriblerus into Snarlerus. By J. Smedley. Printed
for A. Moore, folio, price 6d.
The Dunciad Dissected. By Curll and Mrs Thomas. 12mo.
An Essay on the Tastes and Writings of the Present Times. Said to be
writ by a Gentleman of C. C. C. Oxon. Printed for J. Roberts, octavo.
The Arts of Logic and Rhetoric, partly taken from Bouhours, with New
Reflections, &c. By John Oldmixon. Octavo.
Remarks on the Dunciad. By Mr Dennis. Dedicated to Theobald. Octavo.
A Supplement to the Profund. Anon. By Matthew Coucanen. Octavo.
Mist's Weekly Journal, June 8. A long Letter, signed W. A. Writ by some
or other of the Club of Theobald, Dennis, Moore, Concanen, Cooke, who
for some time held constant weekly meetings for these kind of
performances.
Daily Journal, June 11. A Letter signed Philoscriblerus, on the name of
Pope. Letter to Mr Theobald, inverse, signed B. M. (Bezaleel Morris)
against Mr P---. Many other little Epigrams about this time in the same
papers, by James Moore, and others.
Mist's Journal, June 22. A Letter by Lewis Theobald.
Flying Post, August 8. Letter on Pope and Swift.
Daily Journal, August 8. Letter charging the Author of the Dunciad with
Treason.
Durgen: A Plain Satire on a Pompous Satirist. By Edward Ward, with a
little of James Moore.
Apollo's Maggot in his Cups. By E. Ward.
Gulliveriana Secunda. Being a Collection of many of the Libels in the
Newspapers, like the former Volume, under the same title, by Smedley.
Advertised in the Craftsman, Nov. 9, 1728, with this remarkable promise,
that '_any thing_ which _any body_ should send as Mr Pope's or Dr
Swift's should be inserted and published as theirs.'
Pope Alexander's Supremacy and Infallibility Examined, &c. By George
Ducket and John Dennis. Quarto.
Dean Jonathan's Paraphrase on the Fourth Chapter of Genesis. Writ by E.
Roome. Folio. 1729.
Labeo. A Paper of Verses by Leonard Welsted, which after came into _One
Epistle_, and was published by James Moore, quarto, 1730. Another part
of it came out in Welsted's own name, under the just title of Dulness
and Scandal, folio, 1731.
There have been since published--
Verses on the Imitator of Horace. By a Lady (or between a Lady, a Lord,
and a Court-squire). Printed for J. Roberts. Folio.
An Epistle from a Nobleman to a Doctor of Divinity, from Hampton Court
(Lord H---y). Printed for J. Roberts. Folio.
A Letter from Mr Cibber to Mr Pope. Printed for W. Lewis in Covent
Garden. Octavo.
III.--ADVERTISEMENT TO THE FIRST EDITION--WITH NOTES,
IN QUARTO, 1729.
It will be sufficient to say of this edition, that the reader has here a
much more correct and complete copy of the Dunciad than has hitherto
appeared. I cannot answer but some mistakes may have slipped into it,
but a vast number of others will be prevented by the names being now not
only set at length, but justified by the authorities and reasons given.
I make no doubt the author's own motive to use real rather than feigned
names, was his care to preserve the innocent from any false application;
whereas, in the former editions, which had no more than the initial
letters, he was made, by Keys printed here, to hurt the inoffensive, and
(what was worse) to abuse his friends, by an impression at Dublin.
The commentary which attends this poem was sent me from several hands,
and consequently must be unequally written; yet will have one advantage
over most commentaries, that it is not made upon conjectures, or at a
remote distance of time: and the reader cannot but derive one pleasure
from the very obscurity of the persons it treats of, that it partakes of
the nature of a secret, which most people love to be let into, though
the men or the things be ever so inconsiderable or trivial.
Of the persons it was judged proper to give some account; for since it
is only in this monument that they must expect to survive (and here
survive they will, as long as the English tongue shall remain such as it
was in the reigns of Queen Anne and King George), it seemed but humanity
to bestow a word or two upon each, just to tell what he was, what he
writ, when he lived, and when he died.
If a word or two more are added upon the chief offenders, it is only as
a paper pinned upon the breast, to mark the enormities for which they
suffered; lest the correction only should be remembered, and the crime
forgotten. In some articles it was thought sufficient barely to
transcribe from Jacob, Curll, and other writers of their own rank, who
were much better acquainted with them than any of the authors of this
comment can pretend to be. Most of them had drawn each other's
characters on certain occasions; but the few here inserted are all that
could be saved from the general destruction of such works.
Of the part of Scriblerus, I need say nothing; his manner is well enough
known, and approved by all but those who are too much concerned to be
judges.