THE DUTIES OF CHILDREN AND FELLOW-SERVANTS TO ONE ANOTHER.
IT is not easy to resolve, whether good governors, or good
fellow-servants, in a family, be the greater help and benefit, to each
of the inferiors. For servants are so much together, and so free and
familiar with each other, that they have the more opportunity to be
useful to each other, if they have but abilities and hearts. It is
needful, therefore, that you know your duty to one another, both for
doing and getting that good which otherwise will be lost.
_Direct._ I. Love one another unfeignedly as yourselves; avoid
all contention and falling out with one another, or any thing that
would weaken your love to one another; especially differences about
your personal interests, in point of profit, provision, or reputation.
Take heed of the spirit of envy, which will make your hearts rise
against those that are preferred before you, or that are used better
than you. Remember the sin and misery of Cain, and take warning by
him. Give place to others, and in honour prefer others, and seek not
to be preferred before them, Rom. xii. 10, 16. God delighteth to exalt
the humble that abase themselves, and to cast down those that exalt
themselves. When the interest of your flesh can make you hate or fall
out with each other, what a fearful sign is it of a fleshly mind! Rom.
viii. 6, 13.
_Direct._ II. Take heed of using provoking words against each
other. For these are the bellows to blow up that which the apostle
calleth "the fire of hell," James iii. 6. A foul tongue setteth on
fire the course of nature; and therefore it may set a family on fire,
James iii. 5, 6. "Where envying and strife is, there is confusion and
every evil work," ver. 16. If ye be angry, refrain your tongues "and
sin not, and let not the sun go down upon your wrath: neither give
place to the devil," Eph. iv. 26, 27. "Let all bitterness, and wrath,
and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with
all malice; and be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving
one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you," ver.
31, 32. 1 Cor. vi. 10, "Revilers shall not inherit the kingdom of
God."
_Direct._ III. Help one another with love and willingness in your
labours; and do not grudge at one another, and say such a one doth
less than I; but be as ready to help another, as you would be helped
yourselves. It is very amiable to see a family of such children and
servants, that all take one another's concernments as their own, and
are not selfish against each other. Psal. cxxxiii. 1, "Behold, how
good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!"
_Direct._ IV. Take heed that you prove not tempters to draw each
other to sin and misery. Either by joining together in riotousness, or
wronging your masters, or secret revelling, and then in lying to
conceal it; or lest immodest familiarity draw those of different sexes
into a snare. Abundance of sin and misery hath followed such tempting
familiarity of men and maids that were fellow-servants. Their nearness
giveth them opportunity, and the devil provoketh them to take their
opportunity; and from immodest, wanton dalliance, and unchaste words,
they proceed at last to more lasciviousness, to their own undoing.
Bring not the straw to the fire, if you would not have it burn.
_Direct._ V. Watch over one another for mutual preservation
against the sin and temptations which you are most in danger of. Agree
to tell each other of your faults, not proudly or passionately, but in
love; and resolve to take it thankfully from each other. If any one
talk foolishly and idly, or wantonly and immodestly, or tell a lie, or
take God's name in vain, or neglect their duty to God or man, or deal
unfaithfully in their trust or labour, let the other seriously tell
him of his sin, and call him to repentance. And let not him that is
guilty take it ill, and angrily snap at the reprover, or justify or
excuse the fault, or hit him presently in the teeth with his own;
but humbly thank him and promise amendment. Oh how happy might
servants be, if they would faithfully watch over one another!
_Direct._ VI. When you are together, and your work will allow it,
let your discourse be such as tendeth to edification, and to the
spiritual good of the speaker or the hearers. Some work there is that
must be thought on, and talked of, while it is doing, and will not
allow you leisure to think or speak of other things, till it is done;
but very much of the work of most servants may be as well done, though
they think and speak together of heavenly things; besides all other
times when their work is over. O take this time to be speaking of good
to one another. It is like, that some one of you hath more knowledge
than the rest; let the rest be asking his counsel and instructions,
and let him bend himself to do them good: or if you are equal in
knowledge, yet stir up the grace that is in you, if you have any; or
stir up your desires after it, if you have none. Waste not your
precious time in vanity; multiply not the sin of idle words. Oh what a
load doth lie on many a soul that feeleth it not, in the guilt of
these two sins, loss of time, and idle words! To be guilty of the same
sins over and over, every day, and make a constant practice of them,
and this against your own knowledge and conscience, is a more grievous
case than many think of; whereas, if you would live together as the
heirs of heaven, and provoke one another to the love of God, and holy
duty, and delightfully talk of the word of God, and the life to come,
what blessings might you be to one another! and your service and
labour would be a sanctified and comfortable life to you all. Eph. iv.
29, 30, "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but
that which is good to the use of edifying, and may minister grace to
the hearers: and grieve not the holy Spirit of God." And chap. v. 3, 4,
"But fornication and all uncleanness, or covetousness, (or rather,
inordinate, fleshly desire,) let it not be once named among you, as
becometh saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting,
which are not convenient; but rather giving of thanks." Of this more
anon.
_Direct._ VII. Patiently bear with the failings of one another
towards yourselves, and hide those faults, the opening of which will
do no good, but stir up strife; but conceal not those faults which
will be cherished by concealment, or whose concealment tendeth to the
wrong of your master, or any other. For it is in your power to forgive
a fault against yourselves, but not against God, or another. And to
know when you should reveal it, and when not, you must wisely foreknow
which way is like to do more good or harm. And if yet you be in doubt,
open it first to some secret friend, that is wise to advise you,
whether it should be further opened or not.
_Direct._ VIII. If weakness, or sickness, or want afflict a
brother, or sister, or fellow-servant, be kind and helpful to them
according to your power. "Love not in word only, but in deed and
truth," 1 John iii. 18; James ii.