SPECIAL MOTIVES TO PERSUADE MEN TO THE HOLY GOVERNING OF THEIR
FAMILIES.
IF it were but well understood what benefits come by the holy
governing of families, and what mischiefs come by its neglect, there
would few that walk the streets among us, appear so odious as those
careless, ungodly governors that know not nor mind a duty of such
exceeding weight. While we lie all as overwhelmed with the calamitous
fruits of this neglect, I think meet to try if, with some, the cause
may be removed, by awakening sluggish souls to do their undertaken
work.
_Motive_ I. Consider that the holy government of families, is a
considerable part of God's own government of the world, and the
contrary is a great part of the devil's government. It hath pleased
God to settle as a natural, so a political order in the world, and to
honour his creatures to be the instruments of his own operations; and
though he could have produced all effects without any inferior causes,
and could have governed the world by himself alone without any
instruments, (he being not as kings, constrained to make use of
deputies and officers, because of their own natural confinement and
insufficiency,) yet is he pleased to make inferior causes partakers in
such excellent effects, and taketh delight in the frame and order of
causes, by which his will among his creatures is accomplished. So that
as the several justices in the countries do govern as officers of the
king, so every magistrate and master of a family doth govern as an
officer of God. And if his government by his officers be put down or
neglected, it is a contempt of God himself, or rebellion against him.
What is all the practical atheism, and rebellion, and ungodliness of
the world, but a rejecting of the government of God? It is not against
the being of God in itself considered, that his enemies rise up with
malignant, rebellious opposition; but it is against God as the holy
and righteous Governor of the world, and especially of themselves. And
as in an army, if the corporals, sergeants, and lieutenants, do all
neglect their offices, the government of the general or colonels is
defeated and of little force; so if the rulers of families and other
officers of God will corrupt or neglect their part of government, they
do their worst to corrupt or cast out God's government from the
earth. And if God shall not govern in your families, who shall? The
devil is always the governor where God's government is refused; the
world and the flesh are the instruments of his government; worldliness
and fleshly living are his service: undoubtedly he is the ruler of the
family where these prevail, and where faith and godliness do not take
place. And what can you expect from such a master?
_Motive_ II. Consider also that an ungoverned, ungodly family is
a powerful means to the damnation of all the members of it: it is the
common boat or ship that hurrieth souls to hell; that is bound for the
devouring gulf: he that is in the devil's coach or boat is like to go
with the rest, as the driver or the boatman pleaseth. But a
well-governed family is an excellent help to the saving of all the
souls that are in it. As in an ungodly family there are continual
temptations to ungodliness, to swearing, and lying, and railing, and
wantonness, and contempt of God; so in a godly family there are
continual provocations to a holy life, to faith, and love, and
obedience, and heavenly-mindedness: temptations to sin are fewer
there, than in the devil's shops and workhouses of sin; the authority
of the governors, the conversation of the rest, the examples of all,
are great inducements to a holy life. As in a well-ordered army of
valiant men, every coward is so linked in by order, that he cannot
choose but fight and stand to it with the rest, and in a confused rout
the valiantest man is borne down by the disorder, and must perish with
the rest; even so in a well-ordered, holy family, a wicked man can
scarce tell how to live wickedly, but seemeth to be almost a saint,
while he is continually among saints, and heareth no words that are
profane or filthy, and is kept in to the constant exercises of
religion, by the authority and company of those he liveth with. Oh how
easy and clean is the way to heaven, in such a gracious, well-ordered
family, in comparison of what it is to them that dwell in the
distracted families of profane and sensual worldlings! As there is
greater probability of the salvation of souls in England where the
gospel is preached and professed, than in heathen or Mahometan
countries; so there is a greater probability of their salvation that
live in the houses and company of the godly, than of the ungodly. In
one the advantages of instruction, command, example, and credit, are
all on God's side; and in the other they are on the devil's side.
_Motive_ III. A holy, well-governed family tendeth not only to
the safety of the members, but also to the ease and pleasure of their
lives. To live where God's law is the principal rule, and where you
may be daily taught the mysteries of his kingdom, and have the
Scriptures opened to you, and be led as by the hand in the paths of
life; where the praises of God are daily celebrated, and his name is
called upon, and where all do speak the heavenly language, and where
God, and Christ, and heaven are both their daily work and recreation;
where it is the greatest honour to be most holy and heavenly, and the
greatest contention is, who shall be most humble, and godly, and
obedient to God and their superiors, and where there is no reviling
scorns at godliness, nor any profane and scurrilous talk; what a sweet
and happy life is this! Is it not likest to heaven of any thing upon
earth? But to live where worldliness, and profaneness, and wantonness,
and sensuality bear all the sway, and where God is unknown, and
holiness and all religious exercises are matter of contempt and scorn,
and where he that will not swear and live profanely doth make himself
the hatred and derision of the rest, and where men are known but
by their shape and speaking faculty to be men; nay, where men take not
themselves for men but for brutes, and live as if they had no rational
souls, nor any expectations of another life, nor any higher
employments or delights than the transitory concernments of the flesh;
what a sordid, loathsome, filthy, miserable life is this! made up by a
mixture of beastly and devilish. To live where there is no communion
with God, where the marks of death and damnation are written, as it
were, upon the doors, in the face of their impious, worldly lives, and
where no man understandeth the holy language; and where there is not
the least foretaste of the heavenly, everlasting joys; what is this
but to live as the serpent's seed, to feed on dust, and to be
excommunicated from the face and favour of God, and to be chained up
in the prison of concupiscence and malignity, among his enemies, till
the judgment come that is making haste, and will render to all men
according to their works.
_Motive_ IV. A holy and well-governed family doth tend to make a
holy posterity, and so to propagate the fear of God from generation to
generation. It is more comfortable to have no children, than to beget
and breed up children for the devil. Their natural corruption is
advantage enough to Satan, to engage them to himself, and use them for
his service: but when parents shall also take the devil's part, and
teach their children by precepts or example how to serve him, and
shall estrange them from God and a holy life, and fill their minds
with false conceits and prejudice against the means of their
salvation, as if they had sold their children to the devil; no wonder
then if they have a black posterity, that are trained up to be heirs
of hell. He that will train up children for God, must begin betimes,
before sensitive objects take too deep possession of their hearts, and
custom increase the pravity of their nature. Original sin is like the
arched Indian fig tree, whose branches turning downwards and taking
root, do all become as trees themselves: the acts which proceed from
this habitual viciousness, do turn again into vicious habits: and thus
sinful nature doth by its fruits increase itself: and when other
things consume themselves by breeding, all that sin breedeth is added
to itself, and its breeding is its feeding, and every act doth confirm
the habit. And therefore no means in all the world doth more
effectually tend to the happiness of souls, than wise and holy
education. This dealeth with sin before it hath taken the deepest
root, and boweth nature while it is but a twig: it preventeth the
increase of natural pravity, and keepeth out those deceits, corrupt
opinions, and carnal fantasies and lusts, which else would be
serviceable to sin and Satan ever after: it delivereth up the heart to
Christ betimes, or at least doth bring him a disciple to his school to
learn the way to life eternal; and to spend those years in acquainting
himself with the ways of God, which others spend in growing worse, and
learning that which must be again unlearned, and in fortifying Satan's
garrison in their hearts, and defending it against Christ and his
saving grace. But of this more anon.
_Motive_ V. A holy, well-governed family is the preparative to a
holy and well-governed church. If masters of families did their parts,
and sent such polished materials to the churches, as they ought to do,
the work and life of the pastors of the church would be unspeakably
more easy and delightful; it would do one good to preach to such an
auditory, and to catechise them, and instruct them, and examine them,
and watch over them, who are prepared by a wise and holy education,
and understand and love the doctrine which they hear. To lay such
polished stones in the building is an easy and delightful work; how
teachable and tractable will such be! and how prosperously will the
labours of their pastors be laid out upon them! and how comely and
beautiful the churches be, which are composed of such persons! and how
pure and comfortable will their communion be! But if the churches be
sties of unclean beasts; if they are made up of ignorant and ungodly
persons, that savour nothing but the things of the flesh, and use to
worship they know not what, we may thank ill-governed families for all
this. It is long of them that ministers preach as to idiots or
barbarians that cannot understand them; and that they must be always
feeding their auditors with milk, and teaching them the principles and
catechising them in the church, which should have been done at home:
yea, it is long of them that there are so many wolves and swine among
the sheep of Christ, and that holy things are administered to the
enemies of holiness, and the godly live in communion with the haters
of God and godliness; and that the christian religion is dishonoured
before the heathen world, by the worse than heathenish lives of the
professors; and the pollutions of the churches do hinder the
conversion of the unbelieving world; whilst they that can judge of our
religion no way but by the people that profess it, do judge of it by
the lives of them that are in heart the enemies of it. When the haters
of christianity and godliness are the christians by whose
conversations the infidel world must judge of christianity, you may
easily conjecture what judgment they are like to make. Thus pastors
are discouraged, the churches defiled, religion disgraced, and
infidels hardened through the impious disorder and negligence of
families! What universities were we like to have, if all the grammar
schools should neglect their duties, and send up their scholars
untaught as they received them! and if all tutors must teach their
pupils first to spell and read! Even such churches we are like to
have, when every pastor must first do the work, which all the masters
of families should have done, and the part of many score, or hundreds,
or thousands, must be performed by one.
_Motive_ VI. Well-governed families tend to make a happy state
and commonwealth; a good education is the first and greatest work to
make good magistrates and good subjects, because it tends to make good
men. Though a good man may be a bad magistrate, yet a bad man cannot
be a very good magistrate. The ignorance, or worldliness, or
sensuality, or enmity to godliness, which grew up with them in their
youth, will show itself in all the places and relations that ever they
shall come into. When an ungodly family hath once confirmed them in
wickedness, they will do wickedly in every state of life: when a
perfidious parent hath betrayed his children into the power and
service of the devil, they will serve him in all relations and
conditions. This is the school from whence come all the injustice, and
cruelties, and persecutions, and impieties of magistrates, and all the
murmurings and rebellions of subjects: this is the soil and seminary
where the seed of the devil is first sown, and where he nurseth up the
plants of covetousness, and pride, and ambition, and revenge,
malignity, and sensuality, till he transplant them for his service
into several offices in church and state, and into all places of
inferiority, where they may disperse their venom, and resist all that
is good, and contend for the interest of the flesh and hell, against
the interest of the Spirit and of Christ. But oh! what a blessing to
the world would they be, that shall come prepared by a holy education
to places of government and subjection! And how happy is that land
that is ruled by such superiors, and consisteth of such prepared
subjects, as have first learnt to be subject to God and to their
parents!
_Motive_ VII. If the governors of families did faithfully perform
their duties, it would be a great supply as to any defects in the
pastor's part, and a singular means to propagate and preserve religion
in times of public negligence or persecution. Therefore christian
families are called churches, because they consist of holy persons,
that worship God, and learn, and love, and obey his word. If you lived
among the enemies of religion, that forbad Christ's ministers to
preach his gospel, and forbad God's servants to meet in church
assemblies for his worship; the support of religion, and the comfort
and edification of believers, would then lie almost all upon the right
performance of family duties. There masters might teach the same truth
to their households, which ministers are forbidden to preach in the
assemblies: there you might pray together as fervently and spiritually
as you can: there you may keep up as holy converse and communion, and
as strict a discipline, as you please: there you may celebrate the
praises of your blessed Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier, and observe
the Lord's day in as exact and spiritual a manner as you are able: you
may there provoke one another to love and to good works, and rebuke
every sin, and mind each other to prepare for death, and live together
as passengers to eternal life. Thus holy families may keep up
religion, and keep up the life and comfort of believers, and supply
the want of public preaching, in those countries where persecutors
prohibit and restrain it, or where unable or unfaithful pastors do
neglect it.
_Motive_ VIII. The duties of your families are such as you may
perform with greatest peace, and least exception or opposition from
others. When you go further, and would be instructing others, they
will think you go beyond your call, and many will be suspicious that
you take too much upon you; and if you do but gently admonish a rout
of such as the Sodomites, perhaps they will say, "This one fellow came
in to sojourn, and he will needs be a judge," Gen. xix. 9. But your
own house is your castle; your family is your charge; you may teach
them as oft and as diligently as you will. If the ungodly rabble scorn
you for it, yet no sober person will condemn you, nor trouble you for
it (if you teach them no evil). All men must confess that nature and
Scripture oblige you to it as your unquestionable work. And therefore
you may do it (among sober people) with approbation and quietness.
_Motive_ IX. Well-governed families are honourable and exemplary
unto others. Even the worldly and ungodly use to bear a certain
reverence to them; for holiness and order have some witness that
commendeth them, in the consciences of many that never practised them.
A worldly, ungodly, disordered family, is a den of snakes, a place of
hissing, railing, folly, and confusion: it is like a wilderness
overgrown with briers and weeds; but a holy family is a garden of God;
it is beautified with his graces, and ordered by his government, and
fruitful by the showers of his heavenly blessing. And as the very
sluggard, that will not be at the cost and pains to make a garden of
his thorny wilderness, may yet confess that a garden is more
beautiful, and fruitful, and delightful, and if wishing would do it,
his wilderness should he such; even so the ungodly, that will not be
at the cost and pains to order their souls and families in holiness,
may yet see a beauty in those that are so ordered, and wish for the
happiness of such, if they could have it without the labour and cost
of self-denial. And, no doubt, the beauty of such holy and
well-governed families hath convinced many, and drawn them to a great
approbation of religion, and occasioned them at last to imitate them.
_Motive_ X. Lastly, consider, that holy, well-governed families
are blessed with the special presence and favour of God. They are his
churches where he is worshipped; his houses where he dwelleth: he is
engaged both by love and promise to bless, protect, and prosper them,
Psal. i. 3; cxxviii. It is safe to sail in that ship which is bound
for heaven, and where Christ is the pilot. But when you reject his
government, you refuse his company, and contemn his favour, and
forfeit his blessing, by despising his presence, his interest, and his
commands.
So that it is an evident truth, that most of the mischiefs that now
infest or seize upon mankind throughout the earth, consist in, or are
caused by, the disorders and ill-governedness of families. These are
the schools and shops of Satan, from whence proceed the beastly
ignorance, lust, and sensuality, the devilish pride, malignity, and
cruelty against the holy ways of God, which have so unmanned the
progeny of Adam. These are the nests in which the serpent doth hatch
the eggs of covetousness, envy, strife, revenge, of tyranny,
disobedience, wars, and bloodshed, and all the leprosy of sin that
hath so odiously contaminated human nature, and all the miseries by
which they make the world calamitous. Do you wonder that there can be
persons and nations so blind and barbarous as we read of the Turks,
Tartarians, Indians, and most of the inhabitants of the earth? A
wicked education is the cause of all, which finding nature depraved,
doth sublimate and increase the venom which should by education have
been cured; and from the wickedness of families doth national
wickedness arise. Do you wonder that so much ignorance, and voluntary
deceit, and obstinacy in errors, contrary to all men's common senses,
can be found among professed christians, as great and small, high and
low, through all the papal kingdoms, do discover? Though the pride,
and covetousness, and wickedness of a worldly, carnal clergy, is a
very great cause, yet the sinful negligence of parents and masters in
their families is as great, if not much greater than that. Do you
wonder that even in the reformed churches, there can be so many
unreformed sinners, of beastly lives, that hate the serious practice
of the religion which themselves profess? It is ill education in
ungodly families that is the cause of all this. Oh therefore how great
and necessary a work is it, to cast salt into these corrupted
fountains! Cleanse and cure these vitiated families, and you may cure
almost all the calamities of the earth. To tell what the emperors and
princes of the earth might do, if they were wise and good, to the
remedy of this common misery, is the idle talk of those negligent
persons, who condemn themselves in condemning others. Even those
rulers and princes that are the pillars and patrons of heathenism,
Mahometanism, popery, and ungodliness in the world, did themselves
receive that venom from their parents, in their birth and education,
which inclineth them to all this mischief. Family reformation is the
easiest and the most likely way to a common reformation; at least to
send many souls to heaven, and train up multitudes for God, if it
reach not to national reformation.