COMPARISONS.
Some of the items in this chapter would fit very well in the last; but this
makes no matter; for 'good punch drinks well from either dandy or tumbler.'
You attempt in vain to bring a shameless coarse-minded man to a sense of
the evil he has done:--'Ye might as well put a blister on a hedgehog.'
(Tyrone.)
You're as cross all this day as _a bag of cats_.
If a man is inclined to threaten much but never acts up to his
threats--severe in word but mild in act:--His bark is worse than his bite.
That turf is as dry as a bone (very common in Munster.) _Bone-dry_ is the
term in Ulster.
When a woman has very thick legs, thick almost down to the feet, she is
'like a Mullingar heifer, beef to the heels.' The plains of Westmeath round
Mullingar are noted for fattening cattle. {137}
He died roaring like Doran's bull.
A person restless, uneasy, fidgety, and impatient for the time being, is
'like a hen on a hot griddle.'
Of a scapegrace it is said he is past _grace_ like a limeburner's brogue
(shoe). The point will be caught up when it is remembered that _grease_ is
pronounced _grace_ in Ireland.
You're as blind as a bat.
When a person is boastful--magnifies all his belongings--'all his geese are
swans.'
She has a tongue that would _clip a hedge_. The tongue of another would
_clip clouts_ (cut rags). (Ulster.)
He went _as fast as hops_. When a fellow is hopping along on one leg, he
has to go fast, without stopping.
Of a coarse ill-mannered man who uses unmannerly language:--'What could you
expect from a pig but a _grunt_.' (Carlow.)
A person who seems to be getting smaller is growing down like a cow's tail.
Of a wiry muscular active man people say 'he's as hard as nails.'
A person who acts inconsiderately and rudely without any restraint and
without respect for others, is 'like a bull in a china shop.'
Of a clever artful schemer: 'If he didn't go to school he met the
scholars.'
An active energetic person is 'all alive like a bag of fleas.'
That man knows no more about farming _than a cow knows of a holiday_.
A tall large woman:--'That's a fine doorful of a woman.' (MacCall:
Wexford.) {138}
He has a face as yellow as a kite's claw. (Crofton Croker: but heard
everywhere.)
Jerry in his new clothes is as proud as a whitewashed pig. (MacCall:
Wexford.)
That man is as old as a field. (Common in Tipperary.)
'Are you well protected in that coat?' 'Oh yes I'm _as warm as wool_.'
(Very common in the south.)
Idle for want of weft _like the Drogheda weavers_. Said of a person who
runs short of some necessary material in doing any work. (Limerick.)
I watched him as closely as a cat watches a mouse.
He took up the book; but seeing the owner suddenly appear, he dropped it
_like a hot potato_.
'You have a head and so has a pin,' to express contempt for a person's
understanding.
How are your new stock of books selling? Oh they are _going like hot
cakes_. Hot cakes are a favourite viand, and whenever they are brought to
table disappear quickly enough.
He's as poor as a church mouse.
A person expressing love mockingly:--'Come into my heart and pick sugar.'
An extremely thin emaciated person is _like death upon wires_; alluding to
a human skeleton held together by wires.
Oh you need never fear that Mick O'Brien will cheat you: _Mick is as honest
as the sun_.
A person who does not persevere in any one study or pursuit, who is
perpetually changing about from one thing to another, is 'like a
daddy-long-legs dancing on a window.' {139}
A bitter tongue that utters cutting words is like the keen wind of March
that blows at every side of the hedge.
A person praising strong whiskey says:--I felt it like a torchlight
procession going down my throat.
A man with a keen sharp look in his face:--'He has an eye like a questing
hawk.' Usually said in an unfavourable sense.
If any commodity is supplied plentifully it is knocked about _like snuff at
a wake_. Snuff was supplied free at wakes; and the people were not sparing
of it as they got it for nothing.
A chilly day:--'There's a stepmother's breath in the air.'
Now Biddy clean and polish up those spoons and knives and forks carefully;
don't stop till you make them shine _like a cat's eye under a bed_.
(Limerick.)
It is foolish to threaten unless you have--and show that you have--full
power to carry out your threats:--'Don't show your teeth till you're able
to bite.'
_Greasing the fat sow's lug_: i.e. giving money or presents to a rich man
who does not need them. (Kildare.)
I went on a visit to Tom and he _fed me like a fighting cock_.
That little chap is as cute as a pet fox.
A useless worthless fellow:--He's fit to mind mice at a cross-roads.
(Kildare.)
How did he look? Oh he had a weaver's blush--pale cheek and a red nose.
(Wexford.)
When a person clinches an argument, or puts a hard fact in opposition, or a
poser of any kind hard to answer:--'Put that in your pipe and smoke it.'
{140}
'My stomach is as dry as a lime-burner's wig.' There were professional
lime-burners then: alas, we have none now.
I want a drink badly: my throat is as dry as the pipe of Dick the
blacksmith's bellows.
Poor Manus was terribly frightened; he stood shaking _like a dog in a wet
sack_. (Crofton Croker: but heard everywhere in Ireland.)
'As happy as the days are long': that is to say happy while the days
last--uninterruptedly happy.
Spending your money before you get it--going in debt till pay day comes
round: that's 'eating the calf in the cow's belly.'
He hasn't as much land as would sod a lark; as much as would make a sod for
a lark in a cage.
That fellow is _as crooked an a ram's horn_; i.e. he is a great schemer.
Applied also in general to anything crooked.
'Do you mean to say he is a thief?' 'Yes I do; last year he stole sheep _as
often as he has fingers and toes_' (meaning very often).
You're as welcome as the flowers of May.
'Biddy, are the potatoes boiling?' Biddy takes off the lid to look, and
replies 'The _white horses_ are on 'em ma'am.' The _white horses_ are
patches of froth on the top of the pot when the potatoes are coming near
boiling.
That's as firm as the Rock of Cashel--as firm as the hob of hell.
That man would tell lies as fast as a horse would trot.
A person who does his business briskly and energetically 'works like a
hatter'--'works like a {141} nailer'--referring to the fussy way of these
men plying their trade.
A conceited fellow having a dandy way of lifting and placing his legs and
feet in moving about 'walks like a hen in stubbles.'
A person who is cool and collected under trying circumstances is 'as cool
as a cucumber.' Here the alliteration helps to popularise the saying.
I must put up the horses now and have them 'as clean as a new pin' for the
master.
A person who does good either to an individual or to his family or to the
community, but afterwards spoils it all by some contrary course of conduct,
is like a cow that fills the pail, but kicks it over in the end.
A person quite illiterate 'wouldn't know a B from a bull's foot.' The
catching point here is partly alliteration, and partly that a bull's foot
has some resemblance to a B.
Another expression for an illiterate man:--He wouldn't know a C from a
chest of drawers--where there is a weak alliteration.
He'll tell you a story as long as to-day and to-morrow. Long enough: for
you have to wait on indefinitely for 'to-morrow': or as they say 'to-morrow
come never.'
'You'll lose that handkerchief _as sure as a gun_.'
That furrow is _as straight as a die_.
A person who does neither good nor harm--little ill, little good--is 'like
a chip in porridge': almost always said as a reproach.
I was _on pins and needles_ till you came home: i.e. I was very uneasy.
{142}
The story went round like wildfire: i.e. circulated rapidly.
Of a person very thin:--He's 'as fat as a hen in the forehead.'
A man is staggering along--not with drink:--That poor fellow is 'drunk with
hunger like a showman's dog.'
Dick and Bill are 'as great as inkle-weavers:' a saying very common in
Limerick and Cork. _Inkle_ is a kind of broad linen tape: a Shakespearian
word. 'Several pieces of it were formerly woven in the same loom, by as
many boys, who sat close together on the same seat-board.' (Dr. A. Hume.)
William is 'the spit out of his father's mouth'; i.e. he is strikingly like
his father either in person or character or both. Another expression
conveying the same sense:--'Your father will never die while you are
alive': and 'he's a chip off the old block.' Still another, though not
quite so strong:--'He's his father's son.' Another saying to the same
effect--'kind father for him'--is examined elsewhere.
'I'm a man in myself like Oliver's bull,' a common saying in my native
place (in Limerick), and applied to a confident self-helpful person. The
Olivers were the local landlords sixty or seventy years ago. (For a tune
with this name see my 'Old Irish Music and Songs,' p. 46.)
A person is asked to do any piece of work which ought to be done by his
servant:--'Aye indeed, _keep a dog and bark myself_.'
That fellow walks as straight up and stiff as if he took _a breakfast of
ramrods_.
A man who passes through many dangers or {143} meets with many bad
accidents and always escapes has 'as many lives as a cat.' Everyone knows
that a cat has nine lives.
_Putting on the big pot_ means empty boasting and big talk. Like a woman
who claps a large pot of water on the fire to boil a weeny little bit of
meat--which she keeps out of sight--pretending she has _launa-vaula_,
_lashings and leavings_, full and plenty.
If a man is in low spirits--depressed--down in the mouth--'his heart is as
low as a keeroge's kidney' (_keeroge_, a beetle or clock). This last now
usually said in jest.
James O'Brien is a good scholar, but he's not _in it_ with Tom Long:
meaning that he is not at all to be compared with Tom Long.
If a person is indifferent about any occurrence--doesn't care one way or
the other--he is 'neither glad nor sorry like a dog at his father's wake.'
(South.)
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