SCENE.—_Lawn of the “High Up Farm.” Same as Act II, save
that the table is spread for “Tea.”_
_Enter_ PERCY. _Looks about searchingly._
PERCY. I am too late, I see. I guess, by the shouting, and the loud
talk I heard, something must have happened. They must have chased
the tramp. Well, I wonder how Miss Renwick liked the artist she
was so anxious to meet? I hope she won’t show up while I am here.
If she does it might be a little awkward. But I have it! I’ll let
Helen introduce me as Mr. Roamer, if she does come. I have as much
right to take the tramp’s name as he had to take mine. That will
be all right. I’ll speak to Helen about it right away. (_Looks at
paint cans and overalls._) I may as well put these things out of
sight. Perhaps Trotwell Roamer will come back and get them later.
(_Picks up paint cans and overalls and starts to_ C.)
_Enter_ HIRAM _and_ HICKORY HOMESPUN, L.
HIRAM. Well, Hick, if you make up your mind to take that cow you
can have her for forty dollars. She’s dirt cheap at that, an’ I
wouldn’t think of selling her if——Hello! (_Sees_ PERCY _standing
near_ C., _with paint cans and overalls in his hands_.) So you’ve
got here, have you?
PERCY. Why—er—yes. You are Mr. Rodney, Helen’s father, are you not?
HIRAM. That’s right. Have you seen her yet?
(_Means the boat that is to be painted._)
PERCY. Yes, sir, I have seen her.
HIRAM (_thinking_ PERCY _is surely the painter sent over by Jim
Styles to paint the boat_). Well, what do you think of her? Are you
going to start in to-day? It seems a little late. But maybe you’ve
just brought over your paint, so you can start in the first thing
in the morning.
PERCY (_looking at what he has in his hands, and very much
confused_). Why, I—er——
HIRAM. That’s all right. To-morrer mornin’ will do. I guess she
can wait till that time. But say, young feller, you must go easy
when you tip her over, ’cause her stays might break. They’re pretty
old, and I don’t want to put no more expense on her than I kin help.
PERCY (_aside_). Heavens! What is the man driving at? He must be
crazy! To speak of his own daughter in this way! What does it mean?
(_Backs toward_ R., _still holding cans and overalls_.)
HIRAM. Where are you goin’? Come on over to the lake, and we’ll
look her over together. (_Turns to_ HICK.) You come, too, Hick.
HICK. Certain I will, Hiram.
PERCY (_much confused_). I—er—think there must be some mistake.
HIRAM. Mistake, eh? Well, I guess not. You was sent for, wasn’t you?
PERCY. Yes, but——
HIRAM. Maybe you don’t like the looks of her.
PERCY. Oh, yes, I do, Mr. Rodney. She is the nicest——
HICK. (_laughing heartily_). He ain’t much of a judge, is he, Hiram?
HIRAM. Well, I don’t know. He looks as though he ought to know
a good model from a bad one. But say. (_Nods to Percy._) If you
feel like it, and think it ain’t too late, you might start in to
scrapin’ the paint off her sides right now. You’ll find she’s
pretty well roughed up; but you can fix that all right. You’ll have
to go a bit careful when you come to the waist. She’s been layin’
on one side so long that I s’pose the sun has done some damage.
Most likely she’s blistered a little.
PERCY. Blistered!
HICK. Blistered, of course. There ain’t nothing strange about that,
is there?
HIRAM. Jim Styles told you it was to be white outside and yaller
inside, didn’t he?
PERCY (_stepping back and turning to audience_). Ah! Now I know
there is a mistake. He does not refer to his daughter at all.
(_To_ HIRAM.) Pardon me, Mr. Rodney, but to whom or what are you
referring?
HIRAM (_turning to_ HICK. _and showing surprise_). Well, what do
you think of that, Hick?
HICK. Must be a born fool.
HIRAM. He don’t know what he was sent over here for, it seems.
HICK. Seems not. (_Nods head gravely._) He don’t look like a
painter, anyhow, Hiram.
HIRAM. But he’s got everything with him to do the job.
PERCY. I did not come here to do any work. These things (_setting
them down near_ C.) belong to another party. I just picked them
up to set them aside as you came here. I am not a painter, but an
artist.
HICK. Well, I swan!
HIRAM (_showing surprise_). So you didn’t come here to paint our
boat, then?
PERCY (_much relieved_). I certainly did not, sir.
HIRAM. What did you come here for?
PERCY. I came at the invitation of your daughter Helen.
HIRAM. Jumpin’ bullfrogs! What do you think of that, Hick?
HICK. Sort of a misunderstandin’, it seems. (_He laughs._) He
thought you was speakin’ of Helen, and you was meanin’ the old boat
all the time. (_Laughs uproariously._) Oh, dear! What a joke.
PERCY. Well, I am very sorry that such a mistake should be made.
But I can easily understand now. It is rather unfortunate, but no
harm has been done.
HIRAM. Not as I knows of, young fellow. So Helen invited you to
come over, did she?
PERCY. Yes, she did.
HIRAM. Well, I reckon I had better call her out, then. (_Calls to_
R.) Helen! Helen!
HEL. (_unseen by audience_). What is it, father?
HIRAM. You’re wanted here right away.
_Enter_ HEL., R. PERCY _hurries to meet her_.
PERCY (_sotto voce_). Introduce me as Mr. Roamer. The Peach might
come back and spoil things, you know.
HEL. (_sotto voce_). All right, Percy, I understand. (_Then to_
HIRAM.) Well, father?
HIRAM. This young man came over to see you, he says.
HEL. Yes, I know. Let me introduce you to him, father. (_Turns to_
PERCY.) Mr. Roamer, this is my father. (PERCY _and_ HIRAM _shake
hands_. HEL. _to_ HICK.) Mr. Homespun, let me make you acquainted
with Mr. Roamer, the painter—(_becoming confused_) or artist,
which? (_Looks at_ PERCY.)
PERCY (_laughingly_). Which, I guess. (_Shakes with_ HICK.)
HICK. What do you think, Helen? Your father was talkin’ about
havin’ his boat scraped an’ painted, an’ this young man thought he
was meanin’ you all the time. Funny mistake, wasn’t it? (_Laughs
heartily._)
HEL. I should say it was a funny mistake, Hick. How did it happen,
father?
HIRAM. Well, I was expectin’ a painter to come over to paint
the boat white outside and yaller inside, an’ when I seen this
young man standin’ here with them things (_pointing to cans and
overalls_) in his hands, I thought he was the man. I didn’t know he
had come over on an invite from you. But (_looking at the table_)
what’s goin’ on, anyhow? What have you got the table set outside
for?
HEL. Oh! we are going to have a little party. Mother thought it
would be a good idea to have some company over, so the new boarder
wouldn’t be lonesome. (_Turns to_ HICK.) The widow is here, too,
Hick.
HICK. (_looking around in a startled way_). Where is she, Helen?
HEL. (_laughing_). Around somewhere. We are going to have a very
nice time, I am sure.
HICK. (_edging toward_ C.). I’m goin’ home.
HIRAM (_catching him by the arm_). No, you don’t, Hick! You ain’t
afraid of the widder any more than I am. You are goin’ to stay
right here an’ have tea with us. Besides, I want to sell you that
cow before you go home.
HICK. Well, I’ll take her, Hiram.
HEL. (_laughing_). The widow, Hick?
HICK. (_excitedly_). No! The cow, I mean. I’ll be over after her in
the mornin’.
(_Tries to go again, but is restrained by_ HIRAM.)
HIRAM. Now, see here, Hick Homespun. The trouble with you is that
you’re a lot too bashful. You know well enough that you ought to
have somebody around that nice little home of yours to cook your
meals an’ fetch your slippers for you nights when you come in after
doin’ a hard day’s work. There’s the Widder Wheatchaff for you,
Hick! She’s a fine little woman, an’ I happen to know that she
thinks a powerful lot of you, too.
HICK. (_becoming interested_). How do you know that?
HIRAM. Well, I reckon I’ve got eyes an’ ears. (_Slaps_ HICK, _on
the back_.) Come! brace up, old feller. You wasn’t born to die an
old bachelor.
(PERCY _and_ HEL. _are conversing in whispers and getting
along nicely_.)
HICK. (_meditating for a moment_). Well, I’ll take her. I’ll be
over after her in the mornin’.
HIRAM. Good enough! I’ll tell her just as soon as she comes out.
HICK. (_protestingly_). No, no! I mean the cow.
HEL. Tell the cow, then, father.
(_All laugh but_ HICK.)
_Enter_ BILL, C., _mopping face with bandana_.
BILL. Whew! If that wasn’t a run! I never had so much fun in my
life! Can’t that city gal run, though! Why, she went through the
corn-field like a two-year-old heifer on the rampage! That artist
wasn’t no match for her at all. But he might have got away if he
hadn’t stumbled an’ hit his head agin a pile of fence rails. She’s
got him! Lucinda is helpin’ her bring him back. There’s goin’ to be
a breach of promise suit. Wow!
(_Does a tumbling act, or anything comical or ridiculous,
laughing uproariously._)
HIRAM (_surprised and angered_). What in thunderation is the matter
with the boy?
HICK. Acts as though he’s been took with a fit.
HEL. (_taking_ HIRAM _by the sleeve_). I think I know what is the
matter, father. It seems that our boarder made an appointment
with some man she had never seen in her life, though she had
corresponded with him, of course. He proposed to her, and when he
found she was willing to consider it he changed his mind and tried
to get away. She gave pursuit, and Bill and Lucinda, who happened
to be here, helped her catch him. Miss Renwick is anxious to marry
some one, and after corresponding with the man she set her cap for
him before she had even seen him. Mother and I came out on the
porch in time to hear the last of it. Don’t interfere, father.
Let them bring the man here. I am sure you will laugh when you
understand what a joke it is.
HIRAM (_looking at_ HICK.). Well, I swan!
HICK. So do I, Hiram.
BILL (_getting upon his feet_). Me, too!
PERCY (_whispering in_ HIRAM’S _ear_). You understand, Mr. Rodney.
HIRAM. Well, I’ll be gum-swizzled! If that don’t beat all.
HICK. (_looking toward_ C.). Here they come now. (_Edges away._) I
guess I’ll be goin’. I’ll be over after her in the mornin’, Hiram.
HIRAM (_catching him_). No, you won’t, Hick. You kin take her home
to-night.
HICK. You’ll have to lend me a rope, then.
HIRAM (_laughing_). Oh, you won’t need no rope—not for the widder.
BILL. Might need one to hang himself with after he gits her.
(_Laughs boisterously and executes funny business._)
PERCY (_to_ HEL.). A sort of roping-in game, I think.
HEL. It surely is.
_Enter_ SUSAN, R. _Excited voices outside at_ C.
SUSAN. What’s going on here? What does all this excitement mean,
anyhow?
HEL. (_running to_ SUSAN). Mother, the joke is not over with yet.
It seems that Miss Renwick took it seriously, and she has caught
the tramp. She is fetching him here, and Lucinda is helping her.
Bill says it is a case of a breach of promise suit.
SUSAN. Well, I never! That girl must be a fool.
HEL. She wants a man, mother.
SUSAN (_shaking her head_). Well, she must want one pretty bad,
then.
HEL. Now remember, mother, Percy is supposed to be Mr. Roamer.
SUSAN. And the tramp is supposed to be Mr. Heartache?
HEL. Of course. He introduced himself that way, so it will remain
so until Miss Renwick gets enough of it.
(HIRAM _and_ BILL _are holding_ HICK. _so he cannot escape_.
PERCY _looks on smilingly. Loud voices outside_, ROAM.
_calling out excitedly: “Stop! Stop! I want to get away from
here!”_)
PERCY (_running to_ C.). What does this mean?
_Enter_ HAT. _and_ LUC., C., _dragging_ ROAM. _with them_.
LUC. The base deceiver!
HAT. (_letting go of_ ROAM. _and wringing her hands excitedly_).
Oh! Oh!
HIRAM. That must be the man Styles sent over to paint the boat.
ROAM. (_eagerly_). I’m the man, boss. Just get me away from these
women and I’ll go right to work.
LUC. (_letting go her hold upon_ ROAM., _and looking surprised_).
But he proposed to Miss Renwick, Hiram.
ROAM. That was a joke. (_Looks at_ PERCY, _who shakes finger
warningly_.) I found a letter she had written to some one, and I
made out I was the man. I’m only a common tramp painter. She don’t
want me for a husband, unless she feels like earning the livin’.
HAT. (_throwing up her hands and staggering about as though she is
going to fall_). Oh! I shall faint—I know I will. Somebody catch
me—quick!
HICK. (_starting forward to catch her_). Don’t fall, miss.
LUC. (_grabbing_ HICK. _by the collar and pulling him back_). Let
her fall, if she wants to. The first thing you know she will be
trying to make you propose to her.
HICK. (_meekly_). All right, Lucinda.
HAT. (_making another stagger about_). Oh! Oh! I know I shall faint.
(_She falls and_ BILL _catches her and carries her to a bench_.)
BILL (_soothingly_). That’s all right, Peach. I’ll marry you when I
git big enough. You don’t want no lazy tramp for a husband.
HAT. (_rousing up and becoming indignant_). The idea! Who said I
wanted to marry any one? Why, I wouldn’t marry the best man living!
LUC. (_to_ HICK., _whom she is still holding_). Good reason, maybe.
She couldn’t get you, Hick, and I think you are the best man living.
HICK. (_grinning_). Do you mean that, Lucinda?
LUC. I always say what I mean, Hick Homespun.
HICK. Let’s go look at that cow. [_Exeunt_ HICK. _and_ LUC., L.
BILL (_roaring with laughter_). She’s got him. Hick is a goner!
HAT. (_to_ SUSAN). Mrs. Rodney, I think I will go to my room.
SUSAN (_persuasively_). Don’t do that, Miss Renwick. If there has
been a joke played, take it good-naturedly.
HAT. How can I? (_Looks around despairingly._)
HEL. Let me introduce you to Mr. Roamer, Miss Renwick.
HAT. (_bowing stiffly_). Pleased to meet him.
BILL (_coming to_ SUSAN). Is supper ready yet, Missus Rodney?
SUSAN. Not yet, Bill.
BILL. S’pose we have a little dance, then? (_Produces harmonica and
clappers._) Take your partners for a quadrille, and look out for
paint!
(_Strikes up a lively air—or if he cannot play, the
orchestra does it for him._)
_Enter_ HICK. _and_ LUC., L. _Both are smiling and look happy._
HIRAM (_seizing_ SUSAN). Come on, old gal! We’ll have a little
square set right here on the lawn.
(_They take heads for the set._ PERCY _and_ HEL. _take
positions opposite them, and then_ LUC. _pulls_ HICK. _over
and they take one of the sides._)
ROAM. (_as_ PERCY _points to_ HAT.). I suppose we may as well make
up the set, Miss Renwick.
(HAT. _permits herself to be led by him to the opposite
side. Then_ BILL _lets himself go and the dance begins_.)
BILL. Salute your partners.
(BILL _calls more figures and then_ ROAM. _breaks away
suddenly and runs off_ C. LUC. _holds tightly to_ HICK.
BILL _backs against table and overturns it. Crash!_)
CURTAIN
By the Author of “Mr. Bob”
THE NEW CRUSADE
A Comedy in Two Acts
_By Rachel Baker Gale_
Twelve females. Costumes, modern; scenery, two interiors. Plays one
hour and thirty minutes. A very amusing satire of the servant girl
question, brimful of telling incidents and effective lines. All the
parts are good and of nearly equal opportunity, and practically
play themselves. Well rehearsed, it is a sure success and goes with
a scream. Irish, negro and Swede character parts and a “tough”
girl. Strongly recommended for ladies’ clubs. Can be played only on
payment of a royalty of $5.00 to the author.
_Price, 25 cents_
CHARACTERS
MISS MORRIS, _nothing if not businesslike_.
MRS. COGSWELL-BROWN, _who believes in coöperative housekeeping_.
MRS. POTTER-HEWITT, _who looks small, but is not_.
MRS. RAYMOND, _who advocates_ “_The New Crusade_.”
MRS. ARCHIBALD TRACEY, _in search of a maid and experience_.
BRIDGETT MAHONEY, _in search of_ “_an ould gintleman_.”
MARY MACGUIRE, _who likes_ “_the theyatre in the winter toime_.”
AUGUSTA OLSEN, _who comes from_ “_Sveden for big monay_.”
CASSIE CLAY, _who never_ “_takes suggestions from anybody_.”
JENNIE BURCH, _who never_ “_has time for afternoon tea_.”
MATILDA JOHNSON, _who likes_ “_slaughtermobiles and a choffer_.”
MERRY, _the settlement girl—who’s always_ “_on de level_.”
COATS AND PETTICOATS
A Comedy in One Act
_By Rachel Baker Gale_
One male (played by a woman), seven females, and if desired,
sixteen girls for chorus. Costumes, modern; scene, an interior.
Plays forty-five minutes. A very lively and amusing piece
introducing fancy dresses, music and dancing. All the parts of
about equal opportunity. Irish comedy part and two capital “old
maids.” Very funny and not difficult. Complete with music for the
Suffragettes’ song and march and the Old Maids’ song and march.
Very strongly recommended.
_Price, 25 cents_
AN EASY MARK
A Farce in One Act
_By Innis Gardner Osborn_
Five males, two females. Costumes, modern; scene, an easy interior.
Plays thirty-five minutes. A side-splitting farce of college life
lively enough to suit the most exacting demands. Full of funny
incident and telling lines. Burlesque actor and “tough” young man
parts; the rest “straight” and all good. Recommended for schools.
_Price, 15 cents._
New Plays
ELMWOOD FOLKS
A Drama in Three Acts
_By Charles S. Bird
Author of “At the Junction,” etc._
Eight males, four females. Costumes, modern; scenery, two
interiors, one exterior. Plays a full evening. An easy and
very actable piece with an unusually even cast of characters.
Clean, wholesome and entertaining; can be recommended for school
performance.
_Price, 25 cents_
CHARACTERS
DAVID BAINBRIDGE, _editor of the Elmwood_ “_Item_.”
JAMES WENTWORTH, _an old compositor_.
SQUIRE ALFORD, _a hard man_.
DICK ALFORD, _his stepson, a young lawyer_.
WHITTIER JONES, _a contributor to the_ “_Item_.”
TOMMY GAY, _David’s apprentice_.
MR. PINCH, _an officer_.
A MESSENGER BOY.
MRS. BAINBRIDGE, _David’s wife_.
BESSIE BAINBRIDGE, _their daughter_.
DRUCILLA JONES, _Whittier’s aunt_.
MARY GAY, _Mrs. Bainbridge’s maid_. _Tommy’s sister._
SYNOPSIS
ACT I.—Office of the Elmwood _Item_.
ACT II.—Lawn beside the Bainbridge home.
ACT III.—Parlor in the same.
HER UNCLE’S BOOTS
A Farce in One Act
_By Mrs. Myrtle Barber Carpenter_
Seven females. Costumes, modern; scene, an easy interior. Plays
thirty minutes. An easy and effective little play suitable for
Girls’ Schools or young people in amateur theatricals. Very funny,
but with a sympathetic thread of interest. Clean and bright.
Recommended.
_Price, 15 cents_
AN OUTSIDER
A College Play for Girls in One Act
_By Wilhemen Wilkes_
Seven females. Costumes, modern; scenery, an interior. Plays
thirty-five minutes. An unusually strong and sympathetic little
play for its length and pretensions, strongly recommended to
schools. The story turns upon a basket-ball match and is full of
interest.
_Price, 15 cents_
THE SISTERHOOD OF BRIDGET
A Farce in Three Acts
_By Robert Elwin Ford_
Seven males, six females. Costumes modern; scenery, easy interiors.
Plays two hours. An easy, effective and very humorous piece turning
upon the always interesting servant-girl question. A very unusual
number of comedy parts; all the parts good. Easy to get up and well
recommended.
_Price, 25 cents_
CHARACTERS
EDWARD MASON, _a wealthy stockbroker_.
LORD CURTON, _in search of a wife with money_.
WARD LEIGHTON, _lieutenant of the 176th Regiment_.
MIKE MCSHANE, _driver of a milk cart_.
JIMMY MACRAE, _page at Mr. Mason’s_.
MRS. MASON, _socialist and æsthete_.
ELEANOR MASON, _her daughter_.
BRIDGET, _the cook_.
JOSIE RILEY,} _housemaids_.
EMMA HONE, }
MARY MACRAE, _Jimmy’s sister_.
TIMOTHY ROUKE, _house painter_.
WILLIAM, _butler at Mr. Mason’s_.
THE ALL-AMERICA ELEVEN
_By M. N. Beebe_
Twelve males. Costumes modern; scenery unnecessary. Plays fifteen
minutes. An up-to-date and popular entertainment for boys in one
scene, sure to please both the boys and the audience. Characters:
Football Boy, Baseball Boy, Tennis Boy, Office Boy, Messenger Boy,
Country Boy, Chinese Boy, Jewish Boy, Irish Boy, Indian Boy, Negro
Boy and Trainer.
_Price, 15 cents_
TAKING THE THIRD DEGREE
IN THE GRANGE
_By A. C. Daniels_
Seventeen males. Costumes eccentric; scenery unnecessary. Plays ten
minutes. A burlesque initiation in one act, especially adapted for
a Grange entertainment. Very simple, very clean and wholly lacking
in horse-play and acrobatics. Well suited for its purpose.
_Price, 15 cents_
New Entertainments
OUR CHURCH FAIR
A Farcical Entertainment in Two Acts
_By Jessie A. Kelley_
Twelve females. Costumes modern; scenery unimportant. Plays an hour
and a quarter. A humorous picture of the planning of the annual
church fair by the ladies of the sewing circle. Full of local
hits and general human nature, and a sure laugh-producer in any
community. Can be recommended.
_Price, 25 cents_
CHARACTERS
MRS. ROBERTS, _who wants to be president_.
MRS. HENRY, _young, giddy, fond of novels_.
MRS. JACKSON, _the president of the society_.
MRS. BRETT, _on the dinner committee_.
MRS. LEWIS, _the minister’s wife_.
MRS. LAWSON, _plump_.
MRS. BROWN, _anxious to get new church attendants_.
MRS. ADDISON, _very inquisitive_.
MRS. RIDGELY, _sensitive_.
MRS. OTIS, _on the dinner committee_.
MRS. THOMPSON, _decidedly close_.
MRS. DREW, _just married_.
THE RIVAL CHOIRS
An Entertainment in One Scene
_By Sherman F. Johnson_
Seven males, four females. Costumes eccentric; scenery unimportant.
Plays one hour. A novelty in musical entertainments, introducing
the old choir and the new in competition. A novel setting for a
concert, offering an interesting contrast between the old music and
the new. Lots of incidental fun, character and human nature. Sure
to please. Originally produced in Meriden, Conn.
_Price, 25 cents_
A THIEF IN THE HOUSE
A Comedy in One Act
_By R. M. Robinson_
Six males, one playing a female character (colored). Costumes
modern scenery, an interior. Plays forty-five minutes. A
first-class play for male characters only, of strong dramatic
interest with plenty of comedy. A play that can be recommended, in
spite of its lack of female characters, to any audience.
_Price, 25 cents_
New Plays
THE TIME OF HIS LIFE
A Comedy in Three Acts
_By C. Leona Dalrymple_
Six males, three females. Costumes modern; scenery, two
interiors, or can be played in one. Plays two hours and a half.
A side-splitting piece, full of action and a sure success if
competently acted. Tom Carter’s little joke of impersonating the
colored butler has unexpected consequences that give him “the time
of his life.” Very highly recommended for High School performance.
_Price, 25 cents_
CHARACTERS
MR. BOB GREY.
MRS. BOB GREY.
TOM CARTER, _Mrs. Grey’s brother_.
MRS. PETER WYCOMBE, _a_ “_personage_.”
MR. PETER WYCOMBE, _a “pessimist” with a digestion_.
DOROTHY LANDON, _secretly engaged to Tom Carter_.
MR. JAMES LANDON, SR., _Dorothy’s father; of a peppery disposition_.
UNCLE TOM, _an old colored butler from the South_.
OFFICER HOGAN, _of the Twenty-Second Street Police Station_.
EETHER OR EYTHER
A Farce in One Act
_By Robert C. V. Meyers_
Four males, four females. Costumes modern; scene, an interior.
Plays thirty minutes. A clever parlor play, similar in idea to the
popular “Obstinate Family.” Sure to please.
_Price, 15 cents_
THE MORNING AFTER THE PLAY
A Comedy in One Act
_By Willis Steell_
Two males, three females. Costumes modern; scene, an interior.
Plays twenty minutes. An easy piece of strong dramatic interest,
originally produced in Vaudeville by Christy Clifford. Free to
amateurs; royalty required for professional performance.
_Price, 15 cents_
New Entertainments
TAKING THE CENSUS IN BINGVILLE
An Entertainment in One Act
_By Jessie A. Kelly_
Fourteen males, eight females. Costumes, modern; scenery,
unimportant. Plays an hour and a half. One of the always popular
go-as-you-please entertainments; just a lot of laughs strung on a
very slender wire of story. Full of eccentric character bits and
chances for local hits. A sure success for the laughter-loving.
Recommended for church societies or intimate communities.
_Price, 25 cents_
CHARACTERS
CENSUS TAKER.
ROSY GRADY, _an Irish maid_.
PATRICK MALONE, _a policeman who didn’t want to be examined_.
BILL WATT, _not so bright, but still gets ahead of them all_.
MR. HARDER, _chauffeur_.
MR. KNOTT, _aeronaut_.
MR. STONE, _farmer who has rheumatiz_.
MRS. JONES, _a much married woman_.
MR. SALOON, _a barber who is_ “_Henglish_.”
DR. DUNCAN.
MRS. TIBBETS, _who tries to be young_.
MR. SINGLE, _an editor_.
MR. JEPSON, _a grocer-postmaster_.
MRS. SAMPSON, _who has a large family_.
MR. MORE, _an undertaker_.
MRS. MURPHY, _who is proud of her name_.
MISS HARTLEY, _a teacher_.
MR. SHARP, _a lawyer who is looking for clients_.
TONY, _a fruit dealer_.
MR. ELWOOD, _a minister_.
MRS. STONE, _a farmer’s wife who is afraid she has hookworm_.
SUSIE GIBBS, _who is love-sick_.
THE DAY OF THE DUCHESS
A Farce in One Act
_By Alice C. Thompson_
Twelve females. Costumes, modern; scenery, an easy interior. Plays
thirty minutes. A clever and amusing little play for all girls,
particularly suited for schools because of its number of small
parts. Requires only three or four prominent people. Recommended.
_Price, 15 cents_
AN IRISH INVASION
A Comedy in One Act
_By Alice C. Thompson_
Eight females. Costumes, modern; scenery, an easy interior. Plays
thirty minutes. A very pretty and touching little play with plenty
of fun introducing refined Irish characters, old country and new.
A most original and effective idea, and sure to please. Nothing
coarse and rough about it; tone high and well suited for schools.
_Price, 15 cents_
=TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE=
Italic text is denoted by _underscores_.
Bold text is denoted by =equal signs=.
Obvious typographical errors and punctuation errors have been
corrected after careful comparison with other occurrences within
the text and consultation of external sources.
Some hyphens in words have been silently removed, some added,
when a predominant preference was found in the original book.
Archaic words have been retained.