There are four little disconnected adventures in my notes that must find
a place somewhere, and so I have decided to bunch them all in this
chapter. If you'll draw your chair up closer, I'll give them to you in
order:
First--The Adventure of the Prospective Tenant.
Second--The Adventure of the Mysterious Push Button.
Third--The Adventure of the Reluctant Cow.
Fourth--The Adventure of the Nasty Little Fat Robin.
Now for the Adventure of the Prospective Tenant.
The fact has been mentioned that we yearned to let our second floor of
four beautiful rooms, private bath and shower, closet in every room,
large plumbing, polished floors and heaven knows what. As a condition
precedent to becoming a flatlord, I appealed to the populace through the
want ad. My first copy ran like this:
3313 BATEMAN AVENUE, MONT ALTO--30 minutes from City Hall; four
rooms and private hallway; bath with shower and spray, private;
fine southern exposure two rooms; airy, ample windows; use of
parlor, porch, piano and laundry; water-heated; Garrison avenue
cars; beautiful neighborhood; splendid view of city and bay; no
children; will give breakfast if desired; church within a block;
nearest saloon three miles away, but very fast street cars to that
point. Burglars shun neighborhood and nobody ever gets drunk.
There were other things I overlooked, but we decided to let it go at
that. Certainly virtues had been mentioned which should overcome any
prejudice against suburban life and the crickets. Blithely I passed the
copy over the counter and inquired the cost. The man smiled.
"Why don't you make this a display ad. and get a seven-cent flat rate on
a six months' contract?" he inquired.