HIS CONVERSION AND INNER EXPERIENCE.
When far away on the sea, and while mingling in all the dissipated
scenes of a sailor's life, John would sometimes think of those youthful
days--the only sunny spot in his life's journey--when he 'walked in the
fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Ghost.' Serious thoughts
would rise in his mind, and those seeds of truth, sown in his heart
while listening to Clowes and Oxtoby, and which for years seemed dead,
would be quickened into life. He had often wished to hear Mr. Clowes
once more, and on seeing a placard announcing that he would preach at
the opening of the Nile Street Chapel, Hull (1846), he hastened home,
and, sailor-like, quaintly observed to his wife, 'Why that old Clowes is
living and is going to preach. Let's go and hear him.' On the following
Sunday he went to the chapel, but it was so many years since he had been
to God's house that he now felt ashamed to enter, and for some minutes
he wandered to and fro in front of the chapel. At length he ventured to
go in, and sat down in a small pew just within the door. His mind was
deeply affected, and ere the next Sabbath he had taken two sittings in
the chapel.
About this time, the Rev. Charles Jones, of blessed memory, began his
career as a missionary in Hull. He laboured during six years, with great
success, in the streets, and yards, and alleys of the town; and scores
now in heaven and hundreds on their way thither, will, through all
eternity, have to bless God that Primitive Methodism ever sent him to
labour in Hull. The Rev. G. Lamb prepared the people to receive him by
styling him 'a bundle of love.' John went to hear him, and charmed by
his preaching and allured by the grace of God, his religious feelings
were deepened. Soon after this, and through the labours of Mr. Lamb, he
obtained peace with God, and I have heard him say at our lovefeasts,
'Jones knocked me down, but it was Mr. Lamb that picked me up.'
[Sidenote: HIS SERIOUS IMPRESSIONS.]
[Sidenote: HIS CONVERSION.]
Being invited by two Christian friends to attend a class meeting on the
following Sabbath morning, he went. As he sat in that old room in West
Street Chapel, a thousand gloomy thoughts and fearful apprehensions
crossed his mind, and casting many a glance towards the door, he '_felt
as though he must dart out_.' But when Mr. John Sissons, the leader of
the class, said, with his usual kind smile and sympathizing look:--'I'm
glad to see you,' and then proceeded to give him suitable council and
encouragement, John's heart melted and his eyes filled with tears; and,
on being invited to repeat his visit on the following Sabbath, he at
once consented. One of the friends who had accompanied him to the class,
said, 'Now God has sown the seed of grace in your heart and the enemy
will try to sow tares, but if you resist the devil he will flee from
you,' and scarcely had John left the room _ere the battle began_. 'Oh,
what a fool' he thought, 'I was to promise to go again,' and when he got
home he said to his wife, 'I've been to class, and what is worse, I have
promised to go again, and I dar'nt run off.' Mrs. Ellerthorpe, who had
begun to watch with some interest her husband's struggles, wisely
replied, 'Go, for you cannot go to a better place, I intend to go to Mr.
Jones' class.' All the next week John was in great perplexity, thinking,
'What can I say if I go? If I tell them the same tale I told them last
week they will say I've got it off by memory.' On the following Sabbath
morning he was in the street half resolved not to go to class, when he
thought, 'Did'nt my friend say the devil would tempt me and that I was
to resist him? Perhaps it is the devil that is filling me with these
distressing feelings, but I'll resist him,' and, suiting his action to
his words, in a moment, John was seen darting along the street at his
utmost speed; nor did he pause till, panting and almost breathless, he
found himself seated in the vestry of the Primitive Methodist Chapel,
West Street. He regarded that meeting as the turning point in his
spiritual history, and in the review it possessed to him an undying
charm. There a full, free, and present salvation was pressed on the
people. The short way to the cross was pointed out. The blessedness of
the man whose transgression is forgiven was realized. The direct and
comforting witness of the Holy Spirit to the believer's adoption was
proclaimed. And there believers were exhorted to grow richer in holiness
and riper in knowledge every day. And while John sat and listened to
God's people, he felt a divine power coming down from on high, which he
could not comprehend, but which, however, he joyously experienced. He
joined the class that morning and continued a member five years, when he
became connected with our new chapel in Thornton Street. Around these
services in the old vestry at West Street, cluster the grateful
recollections of many now living and of numbers who have crossed the
flood. How often has that room resounded with the cries of penitent
sinners and the songs of rejoicing believers?
[Sidenote: VISITS HIS MOTHER.]
Soon after our friend had united himself with the people of God he paid
a visit to his mother, who was in a dying state. It was on a beautiful
Sabbath morning, in the month of June, and while walking along the road,
between Hull and Hessle, and reflecting on the change he had
experienced, he was filled 'unutterably full of glory and of God.' That
morning, with its glorious visitation of grace, he never forgot. His
soul had new feelings; his heart throbbed with a new, a strange, a
divine joy. Peace reigned within and all around was lovely. The sun
seemed to shine more brightly, and the birds sang a sweeter song. The
flowers wore a more beautiful aspect, and the very grass seemed clothed
in a more vivid green. It was like a little heaven below. 'As I walked
along,' he says, 'I shouted, glory, glory, glory, and I am sure if a
number of sinners had heard me they would have thought me mad.'
But was he mad? Did not the pentecostal converts 'eat their meat with
gladness and singleness of heart, praising God?' Did not the converts in
Samaria 'make great joy in the city?' Did not the Ethiopian Eunuch,
having obtained salvation, '_go on his way rejoicing_?' And Charles
Wesley, four days after his conversion, thus expressed the joy he felt--
I rode on the sky so happy was I,
Nor envied Elijah his seat;
My soul mounted higher in a chariot of fire
As the moon was under my feet.
And surely God's people have as much right to give utterance to their
joy as the dupes of the devil have to give expression to theirs; and
though the religion of the Saviour requires us to surrender many
pleasures and endure peculiar sorrows, yet it is, supremely, the
religion of peace, joy, and overflowing gladness.
Mr. Ellerthorpe was never guilty of proclaiming with the trumpet tongue
of a Pharisee, either what he felt or did, and though he kept a
carefully written diary, extending over several volumes, and the reading
of which has been a great spiritual treat to the writer of this
book,--revealing, as it does, the secret of that intense earnestness,
unbending integrity, active benevolence, and readiness for every good
word and work by which our friend's religious career was
distinguished,--yet of that diary our space will permit us to make but
the briefest use. Take the following extracts:--
'January 1, 1852.--I, John Ellerthorpe, here in the presence of my God,
before whom I bow, covenant to live nearer to Him than I have done in
the year that has rolled into eternity.'
[Sidenote: HIS PIOUS RESOLUTIONS.]
Resolutions.
'1st. I will bow three times a day in secret.
2nd. I will attend all the means of grace I can.
3rd. I will visit what sick I can.
4th. I will speak ill of no man.
5th. I will hear nothing against any man, especially those who belong to
the same society.
6th. I will respect all men, especially Christians.
7th. I will pray for a revival.
8th. I will guard against all bad language and ill feeling.
9th. I will never speak rash to any man.
10th. I will be honest in all my dealings.
11th. I will always speak the truth.
12th. I will never contract a debt without a proper prospect of payment.
13th. I will read three chapters of the Bible daily.
14th. I will get all to class I possibly can.
15th. I will set a good example before all men, and especially my own
family.
16th. I will not be bound for any man.
17th. I will not argue on scripture with any man.
18th. I will endeavour to improve my time.
19th. I will endeavour to be ready every moment.
20th. I will leave all my concerns in the hands of my God, for Christ's
sake. All these I intend, by the help of my God, diligently to perform.'
That he always carried out these resolutions is more than his diary will
warrant us to say. He sometimes missed the mark, and came short of his
aim. He suffered from a certain hastiness of temper, and ruggedness of
disposition, which, to use his own words, 'cost him a vast deal of
watching and praying. But the Lord,' he adds, 'has helped me in a
wonderful manner, and I believe I shall reap if I faint not.' The
following extracts from his diary will give some idea of his inner
experience:--
[Sidenote: HIS DIARY.]
[Sidenote: HIS INNER EXPERIENCE.]
'_January 1850. 5th._--I feel the hardness of my heart and the
littleness of my love, yet I am in a great degree able to deny myself to
take up my cross to follow Christ through good and evil report.
_7th._--I feel that I am growing in grace and that I have more power
over temptation, and over myself than I had some time since, but I want
the witness of full sanctification. _8th._--What is now the state of my
mind? Do I now enjoy an interest in Christ? Am I a child of God? It is
suggested by Satan that I am guilty of many imperfections. I know it,
but I know also if any man sin, etc. _Feb. 18th._--I feel my heart is
very hard and stubborn, that I am proud and haughty and very bad
tempered, but God can, and I believe he will, break my rocky heart in
pieces. _March 3rd._--This has been a good Sabbath; we had a good prayer
meeting at 7 o'clock, a profitable class at 9, in the school the Lord
was with us, and the preaching services were good. _4th._--Last night I
had a severe attack of my old complaint and suffered greatly for many
hours, but I called upon God and he delivered me. _16th._--I am in good
health, for which, and the use of my reason, and all the blessings that
God bestows upon me, I am thankful. I am unworthy of the least of them.
O that I could love God ten thousand times more than I do; for I feel
ashamed of myself that I love him so little. _19th._--I am ill in body
but well in soul. The flesh may give way, and the devil may tempt me,
and all hell may rage, yet I believe the Lord will bring me through.
_April 6th._--To-day, in the haste of my temper, I called a man a liar.
I now feel that I did wrong in the sight of God and man. I am deeply
sorry. May God forgive me, and may I sin no more. _May 6th._--O God make
me faithful and give to thy servant the spirit of prayer. Like David, I
want to resolve, "Speak, Lord; for thy servant heareth"; like Mary I
want to "ponder these things in my heart"; like the Bereans I want to
"search the scriptures" daily and in the spirit of Samuel to say "Speak,
Lord; for thy servant heareth." _May 20th._--I am at Hessle feast, and
thank God it has been a feast to my soul. I have attended one prayer
meeting, two class meetings, three preaching services. Bless God for
these means of grace. My little book is full and I do trust I am a
better man than when I began to write my diary. _29th._--My dear wife is
very ill, but the Lord does all things well. I know that He can, and
believe that He will, raise her up again and that the affliction of her
body will turn to the salvation of her soul. _30th._--I am now laid
under fresh obligations to God. He has given me another son. May he be a
goodly child, like Moses, and grow up to be a man after God's own heart.
_July 3rd._--This day the Victoria docks have been opened. It has been a
day of trial and conflict, for I ran the Packet into a Schooner and did
£10 damage. It was a trial of my faith, and through the assistance of
God I overcame. _August 20th._--Sunday.--How thankful I am that God has
set one day in seven when we can get away from the wear and tear of life
and worship Him under our own vine and fig tree none daring to make us
afraid. It is all of God's wisdom, and mercy, and goodness. _September
11th._--To-night I put my wife's name in the class book; may she be a
very good member, such a one as Thou wilt own when Thou numbers up Thy
jewels. _October 11th._--I did wrong last night, being quite in a
passion at my wife, which grieved her. Lord help me and make me never
differ with her again. _12th._--I feel much better in my soul this
morning and will, from this day promise in the strength of grace, never
to allow myself to be thrown into a passion again: it grieves my soul,
it hurts my mind. 1851. _January 7th._--Five years this day I entered my
present situation under the Hull Dock Company. Then I was a drunken man,
and a great swearer; but I thank God he has changed my heart.
_18th._--This has been a very troublesome day to my soul. I have been
busy with the sunken packet all day and hav'nt had time to get to
prayer. My soul feels hungry. _29th._--This has been a day of prayerful
anxiety about my son; he has passed his third examination, God having
heard my prayer on his behalf. _Feb. 24th._--I have been to the teetotal
meeting and have taken the pledge, and I intend, through the grace of
God, to keep as long as I live. _March 1st._--The Rev. W. Clowes is
still alive. May the Lord grant that he may not have much pain. While
brother Newton and I were in the room with him we felt it good; O the
beauty of seeing a good man in a dying state. May I live the life of the
righteous and may my last end be like Mr. Clowes's. _2nd._--The first
thing I did this morning was to go and inquire after Mr. Clowes. I found
that life was gone and that his happy spirit had taken its flight to
heaven. _4th._--I am more than ever convinced of the great advantage we
derive from entire sanctification; it preserves the soul in rest amid
the toils of life; it gives satisfaction with every situation in which
God pleases to place us.'
[Sidenote: HIS RELIGIOUS WARMTH.]
Sailor like Mr. Ellerthorpe was earnest, impulsive, enthusiastic,
carrying a warm ardour and a brisk life into all his duties. He did not
love a continual calm, rather he preferred the storm. He did not believe
that because he was on board a good ship, had shaped his course aright,
and had a compass never losing its polarity, that he would reach port
whether he made sail or not, whether he minded his helm or not. He knew
he couldn't _drift_ into port. With waterlogged and becalmed Christians
or those who heaved to crafts expecting to drift to the celestial
heaven, he had but little fellowship. Such he would cause to shake out
reefs and have yards well trimmed to catch every breeze from the
millenial trade winds.