XV. Satire of the Sea

“What was the mystery about St. Alban?” I asked.

The Baronet did not at once reply. He looked out over the English

country through the ancient oak-trees, above the sweep of meadow across

the dark, creeping river, to the white shaft rising beyond the wooded

hills into the sky.

The war was over. I was a guest of Sir Henry Marquis for a week-end at

his country-house. The man fascinated me. He seemed a sort of bottomless

Stygian vat of mysteries. He had been the secret hand of England for

many years in India. Then he was made a Baronet and put at the head of

England's Secret Service at Scotland Yard.

A servant brought out the tea and we were alone on the grass terrace

before the great oak-trees. He remained for some moments in reflection,

then he replied:

“Do you mean the mystery of his death?”

“Was there any other mystery?” I said.

He looked at me narrowly across the table.

“There was hardly any mystery about his death,” he said. “The man shot

himself with an old dueling pistol that hung above the mantel in his

library. The family, when they found him, put the pistol back on the

nail and fitted the affair with the stock properties of a mysterious

assassin.

“The explanation was at once accepted. The man's life, in the public

mind, called for an end like that. St. Alban after his career, should by

every canon of the tragic muse, go that way.”

He made a careless gesture with his fingers.

“I saw the disturbed dust on the wall where the pistol had been moved,

the bits of split cap under the hammer, and the powder marks on the

muzzle.

“But I let the thing go. It seemed in keeping with the destiny of the

man. And it completed the sardonic picture. It was all fated, as the

Gaelic people say.... I saw no reason to disturb it.”

“Then there was some other mystery?” I ventured.

He nodded his big head slowly.

“There is an ancient belief,” he said, “that the hunted thing always

turns on us. Well, if there was ever a man in this world on whom the

hunted thing awfully turned, it was St. Alban.”

He put out his hand.

“Look at the shaft yonder,” he said, “lifted to his memory, towering

over the whole of this English country, and cut on its base with his

services to England and the brave words he said on that fatal morning on

the Channel boat. Every schoolboy knows the words:

“'Don't threaten, fire if you like!'

“First-class words for the English people to remember. No bravado, just

the thing any decent chap would say. But the words are persistent. They

remain in the memory. And it was a thrilling scene they fitted into.

One must never forge that: The little hospital transport lying in the

Channel in a choppy sea that ran streaks of foam; the grim turret and

the long whaleback of a U-boat in the foam scruff; and the sun lying on

the scrubbed deck of the jumping transport.

“Everybody was crowded about. St. Alban was in the center of the human

pack, in a pace or two of clear deck, his injured arm in a sling; his

split sleeve open around it; his shoulders thrown back; his head lifted;

and before him, the Hun commander with his big automatic pistol.

“It's a wonderful, spirited picture, and it thrilled England. It was in

accord with her legends. England has little favor of either the gods of

the hills or the gods of the valleys. But always, in all her wars, the

gods of the seas back her.”

The big Baronet paused and poured out a cup of tea. He tasted it and set

it down on the table.

“That's a fine monument,” he said, indicating the white shaft that shot

up into the cloudless evening sky. “The road makes a sharp turn by it.

You have got to slow up, no matter how you travel. The road rises there.

It's built that way; to make the passer go slow enough to read the

legends on the base of the monument. It's a clever piece of business.

Everybody is bound to give his tribute of attention to the conspicuous

memorial.

“There are two faces to the monument that you must look at if you go

that road. One recounts the man's services to England, and the other

face bears his memorable words:

“'Don't threaten, fire if you like!'”

The Baronet fingered the handle of his teacup.

“The words are precisely suited to the English people,” he said. “No

heroics, no pretension, that's the whole spirit of England. It's the

English policy in a line: We don't threaten, and we don't wish to be

threatened by another. Let them fire if they like,--that's all in the

game. But don't swing a gun on us with a threat. St. Alban was lucky

to say it. He got the reserve, the restraint, the commonplace

understatement that England affects, into the sentence. It was a piece

of good fortune to catch the thing like that.

“The monument is tremendous. One can't avoid it. It's always before the

eye here, like the White Horse of Alfred on the chalk hill in Berkshire.

All the roads pass it through this countryside. But every mortal thing

that travels, motor and cart, must slow up around the monument.”

He stopped for a moment and looked at the white needle shimmering in the

evening sun.

“But St. Alban's greatest monument,” he said, “was the lucky sentence.

It stuck in the English memory and it will never go out of it. One

wouldn't give a half-penny for a monument if one could get a phrase

fastened in a people's memory like that.”

Sir Henry moved in his chair.

“I often wonder,” he said, “whether the thing was an inspiration of St.

Alban's that morning on the deck of the hospital transport, or had he

thought about it at some other time? Was the sentence stored in

the man's memory, or did it come with the first gleam of returning

consciousness from a soul laid open by disaster? I think racial words,

simple and unpretentious, may lies in any man close to the bone like

that to be rived out with a mortal hurt. That's what keeps me wondering

about the words he used. And he did use them.

“I don't doubt that a lot of our hero stuff has been edited after the

fact. But this sentence wasn't edited. That's what he said, precisely.

A hundred wounded soldiers on the hospital transport heard it. They were

crowding round him. And they told the story when they got ashore. The

story varied in trifling details as one would expect among so many

witnesses to a tragic event like that. But it didn't vary about what

the man said when the Hun commander was swinging his automatic pistol on

him.

“There was no opportunity to edit a brave sentence to fit the affair.

St. Alban said it. And he didn't think it up as he climbed out of the

cabin of the transport. If he had been in a condition to think, he

had enough of the devil's business to think about just then; a brave

sentence would hardly have concerned him, as I said awhile ago.

“Besides, we have his word that, after what happened in the cabin,

everything else that occurred that morning on the transport was a blank

to the man; was walled off from his consciousness, and these words were

the first impulse of one returning to a realization of events.”

Sir Henry Marquis reflected.

“I think they were,” he continued. “They have the mark of spontaneity;

of the first disgust of one grasping the fact that he was being

threatened.”

The Baronet paused.

“The event had a great effect on England,” he said. “And it helped to

restore our shattered respect for a desperate enemy. The Hun commander

didn't sink the transport, and he didn't shoot St. Alban. It's true

there was a sort of gentleman's agreement among the enemies that

hospital transports should not be sunk.

“But anything was likely to happen just then. The Hun had failed to

subjugate the world, and he was a barbarous, mad creature. England

believed that something noble in St. Alban worked the miracle.

“'You're a brave man!'

“Some persons on the transport testified to such a comment from the

submarine commander. At any rate, he went back to his U-boat and the

undersea.

“That's the last they saw of him. The transport came on into Dover.

“England thought the affair was one of the adventures of the sea.

A chance thing, that happened by accident. But there was one man in

England who knew better.”

“You?” I said.

The Baronet shrugged his shoulders.

“St. Alban,” he answered.

He got up and began to walk about the terrace. I sat with the cup of

tea cooling before me. The big man walked slowly with his fingers linked

behind him. Finally he stopped. His voice was deep and reflective.

“'Man is altogether the sport of fortune!'... I read that in Herodotus,

in a form at Rugby. I never thought about it again. But it's God's

truth. St. Alban was at Rugby. I often wonder if he remembered it. My

word, he lived to verify it! Herodotus couldn't cite a case to equal

him. And the old Greek wasn't hemmed in by the truth. I maintain that

the man's case has no parallel.

“To have all the painstaking labor of years negatived by one enveloping,

vicious misfortune; to be beaten out of life by it, and at the same time

to gain that monument out yonder and one's niche as hero by the grim

device of an enemy's satire; by the acting of a scene that one

would never have taken part in if one had realized it, is beyond any

complication of tragedy known to the Greek.

“Look at the three strange phases of it: To be a mediocre Englishman

with no special talent; to die in horrible despair; and to leave behind

a glorious legend. And for all these three things to contradict one

another in the same life is unequaled in the legends of any people.”

The Baronet went on in a deep level voice.

“There was a vicious vitality behind the whole desperate business. Every

visible impression of the thing was wrong. Every conception of it held

today by the English people is wrong!

“The German submarine didn't overhaul the hospital transport in the

Channel by accident. The Hun commander didn't fail to sink the transport

out of any humane motives. He didn't fail to shoot St. Alban because he

was moved by the heroism of the man. It was all grim calculation!

“He thought it was safe to let St. Alban go ahead. And he would have

been right if St. Alban had been the great egotist that he was.

“The commander of that submarine was Plutonburg of Prussia. He was the

right-hand man of old Von Tirpitz. He was the one man in the German navy

who never ceased to urge its Admiralty to sink everything. He loathed

every fiber of the English people. We had all sorts of testimony to

that. The trawlers and freightboat captains brought it in. He staged

his piracies to a theatrical frightfulness. 'Old England!' he would say,

when he climbed up out of the sea onto the deck of a British ship and

looked about him at the sailors, 'Old, is right, old and rotten!' Then

he would smite his big chest and quote the diatribes of Treitschke.

'But in a world that the Prussian inhabits a nation, old and rotten, may

endure for a time, but it shall not endure forever!'

“Plutonburg didn't let St. Alban and the transport go ahead out of the

promptings of a noble nature. He did it because he hated England, and

he wanted St. Alban to live on in the hell he had trapped him into. He

counted on his keeping silent. But the Hun made a mistake.

“St. Alban didn't measure up to the standard of Prussian egoism by which

Plutonburg estimated him.”

Sir Henry continued in the same even voice. The levels of emotion in his

narrative did not move him.

“Did you ever see the picture of Plutonburg, in Munich? He had a face

like Chemosh. And he dressed the part. Other under-boat commanders wore

the conventional naval cap, but Plutonburg always wore a steel helmet

with a corrugated earpiece. Some artist under the frightfulness dogma

must have designed it for him. It framed his face down to the jaw. The

face looked like it was set in iron, and it was a thick-lidded, heavy,

menacing face; the sort of face that a broad-line cartoonist gives to a

threatening war-joss. At any rate, that's how the picture presents him.

One thinks of Attila under his ox head. You can hardly imagine anything

human in it, except a cruel satanic humor.

“He must have looked like Beelzebub that morning, on the transport, when

he let St. Alban go on.”

The Baronet looked down at me.

“Now, that's the truth about the fine conduct of Plutonburg that England

applauded as an act of chivalry. It was a piece of sheer, hellish

malignity, if there ever was an instance.”

Sir Henry took a turn across the terrace, for a moment silent. Then he

went on:

“And in fact, everything in the heroic event on the deck of the

transport was a pretense. The Hun didn't intend to shoot St. Alban. As I

have said, Plutonburg had him in just the sort of hell he wanted him in,

and he didn't propose to let him out with a bullet. And St. Alban ought

to have known it, unless, as he afterwards said, the whole thing

from the first awful moment in the cabin was simply walled out of his

consciousness, until he began dimly to realize up there in the sun, in

the crowd, that he was being threatened and blurted out his words from a

sort of awful disgust.”

Again he paused.

“Plutonburg was right about having St. Alban in the crater of the pit.

But he was wrong to measure him by his Prussian standard. St. Alban came

on to London. He got the heads of the War Office together and told

them. I was there. It was the devil's own muddle of a contrast. Outside,

London was ringing with the man's striking act of personal heroism.

And inside of the Foreign Office three or, four amazed persons were

listening to the bitter truth.”

The Baronet spread out his hands with a sudden gesture.

“I shall always remember the man's strange, livid face; his fingers that

jumped about the cuff of his coat sleeve; and his shaking jaw.”

Sir Henry went over and sat down at the table. For a good while he was

silent. The sun filtering through the limbs of the great oak-trees made

mottled spots on his face. He seemed to turn away from the thing he had

been concerned with, and to see something else, something wholly apart

and at a distance from St. Alban's affairs.

“You must have wondered like everybody else,” he said, “why the Allied

drive on the Somme accomplished so little at first. Both England and

France had made elaborate preparations for it over a long period of

time. Every detail had been carefully, worked out. Every move had been

estimated with mathematical exactness.

“The French divisions had been equipped and strategically grouped.

England had put a million of fresh troops into France. And the line of

the drive had been mapped. The advance, when it was opened on the first

day of July, ought to have gone forward irresistibly from cog to cog

like a wheel of a machine on the indentations of a track. But the thing

didn't happen that way. The drive sagged and stuck.”

The big Englishman pressed the table with his clinched hand.

“My word!” he said, “is it any wonder that the devil, Plutonburg,

grinned when he put up his automatic pistol? Why shoot the Englishman?

He would do it himself soon enough. He was right about that. If he had

only been right about his measure of St. Alban, the drive on the Somme

would have been a ghastly catastrophe for the Allied armies.”

I hesitated to interrupt Sir Henry. But he had got my interest

desperately worked up about what seemed to me great unjointed segments

of this affair, that one couldn't understand till they were put

together. I ventured a query.

“How did St. Alban come to be on the hospital transport?” I said. “Was

he in the English army in France?”

“Oh, no,” he said. “When the war opened St. Alban was in the Home

Office, and, he set out to make England spy-proof. He organized the

Confidential Department, and he went to work to take every precaution.

He wasn't a great man in any direction, but he was a careful, thorough

man. And with tireless, never-ceasing, persistent effort, he very nearly

swept England clean of German espionage.”

Sir Henry spoke with vigor and decision.

“Now, that's what St. Alban did in England--not because he was a man of

any marked ability, but because he was a persistent person dominated by

a single consuming idea. He started out to rid England of every form of

espionage. And when he had accomplished that, as the cases of Ernest,

Lody, and Schultz eloquently attest, he determined to see that every

move of the English expeditionary force on the Continent should be

guarded from German espionage.”

Sir Henry paused and poured out a cup of tea. He tasted it. It was cold,

and he put the cup down on the table.

“That's how St. Alban came to be in France,” he said. “The great drive

on the Somme had been planned at a meeting of military leaders in Paris.

The French were confident that they could keep their plans secret from

German espionage. They admitted frankly that signals were wirelessed out

of France. But they had taken such precautions that only the briefest

signals could go out.

“The Government radio stations were always alert. And they at once

negatived any unauthorized wireless so that German spies could only snap

out a signal or two at any time. They could do this, however.

“They had a wireless apparatus inside a factory chimney at Auteuil. It

wasn't located until the war was nearly over.

“The French didn't undertake to say that they could make their country

spy-proof. They knew that there were German agents in France that nobody

could tell from innocent French people. But they did undertake to say

that nothing could be carried over into the German lines. And they

justified that promise. They did see that nothing was carried out of

France.” The Baronet looked at me across the table.

“Now, that's what took St. Alban across the Channel,” he said. “The

English authorities wanted to be certain that there was no German

espionage. And there was no man in England able to be certain of that

except St. Alban. He went over to make sure. If the plans for the Somme

drive should get out of France, they should not get out through any

English avenue.”

The Baronet paused.

“St. Alban went about the thing in his thorough, persistent manner. He

didn't trust to subordinates. He went himself. That's what took him out

on the English line. And that's how he came to be wounded in the elbow.

“It wasn't very much of a wound--a piece of shrapnel nearly spent when

it hit him. But the French hospital service was very much concerned. It

gave him every attention.

“The man came into Paris when he had finished. The French authorities

put him up at the Hotel Meurice. You know the Hotel Meurice. It's on

the Rue de la Rivoli. It looks out over the garden of the Tuileries. St.

Alban was satisfied with the condition of affairs in France, and he was

anxious to go back to London. Arrangements had been made for him to go

on the hospital transport.

“He was in his room at the Meurice waiting for the train to Calais. He

was, in fact, fatigued with the attention the French authorities had

given him. Everything that one could think of had been anticipated, he

said. He thought there could be nothing more. Then there was a timid

knock, and a nurse came in to say that she had been sent to see that the

dressing on his arm was all right. He said that he had found it easier

to submit to the French attentions than to undertake to explain that he

didn't need them.

“He was busy with some final orders, so he put out his arm and allowed

the nurse to take the pins out of the split sleeve and adjust the

dressing. She put on some bandages, made a little timid curtsey and went

out.

“St. Alban didn't think of it again until the German U-boat stopped the

transport the next morning in the Channel. He wasn't disturbed when the

submarine commander came into his cabin. He knew enough not to carry

any papers about with him. But Plutonburg didn't bother himself about

luggage. He'd had his signal from the factory chimney at Auteuil.

He stood there grinning in the cabin before St. Alban; that Satanic,

Chemosh grin that the artist got in the Munich picture.

“'I used to be something of a surgeon,' he said, 'Doctor Ulrich von

Plutonburg, if you will remember. I'll take a look at your arm.'

But, Alban said he thought the man might be moved by some humane

consideration, so he put out his arm.

“Plutonburg took the pins out of the sleeve and removed the bandage that

the nurse had put on in the Hotel Meurice. Then he held it up. The

long, cotton bandage was lined with glazed cambric, and on it, in minute

detail, was the exact position of all the Allied forces along the whole

front in the region of the Somme, precisely as they had been massed for

the drive on July first!”

I cried out in astonishment. “So that's what you meant,” I said, “by the

trailed thing turning on him!”

“Precisely,” replied the Baronet. “The very thing that St. Alban labored

to prevent another from doing, he did awfully himself!”

The big Englishman's fingers drummed on the table.

“It was a great moment for Plutonburg,” he said. “No living man but that

Prussian could have put the Satanic humor into the rest of the affair.”

He paused as under the pressure of the memory.

“St. Alban always maintained that from the moment he saw the long map on

the bandage everything blurred around him, and began to clear only when

he spoke on the deck. He used to curse this blur. It made him a national

figure and immortal, but it prevented him, he said, from striking the

Prussian in the face.”

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