Because to remain in this sort guilty in your Lordships opinion doth not
onely defeat all my future indevours, but lay a heavyer burden upon me, of
which I am more sensible, which is ingratitude towards your Lordship, by
whose favours I have been formerly so much bound; I hope your Lordship
will pardon me this care and diligence which I use to rectifie my self
towards you. To which purpose I humbly beseech your Lordship, to admit
thus much into your consideration, that I neither hunted after this
businesse at first, but apprehended it as it was presented to me, and
might perchance have fallen into worse hands, nor proceeded otherwise
therein, then to my poor discretion at that time seemed lawfull and
requisite and necessary for my reputation, who held my selfe bound to be
able to give satisfaction to any who should doubt of the case. Of all
which, if your Lordship were returned to your former favourable opinions
of me, you might be pleased to make this some argument, that after his
Majesty had shewed his inclination to the first motion made in my behalf,
I was not earnest to urge and solicit that advantage of priority, but as
became me, contented my self to joyne with him who had made a later
petition therein: and as soon as I understood how it was opposed or
distasted, I threw it down at your Lordships feet, and abandoned it to
your pleasure. Which it is necessary for me to say at this time, lest, if
he who was interessed with me in that businesse shall have proceeded any
farther therein since that time, your Lordship might conceive new
suspicions of me. That your Lordships name was at all used therein, or
that any words of mine occasioned such an errour in my servant, I am so
sorry as nothing but a conscience of a true guiltinesse of having
performed an injury to your Lordship (which can never fall upon me) could
affect me more. But I, who to the measure of my comprehension, have ever
understood your Lordships nobility and evenness, cannot fear that your
Lordship will punish an oversight, like a crime: which should be effected
upon me, if your Lordship should continue your disfavour towards me, since
no penalty could come so burdenous to my minde and to my fortune as that.
And since the repose of both consists in your Lordships favour, I humbly
intreat to be restored to your favour, giving your Lordship my faith in
pawn that I wil be as wary of forfeting it by any second occasion, as I am
sorry for this.
_Yours_ J. D.
[xcix.]
_To the Honourable Knight Sir_ Robert Karre.