It is one ill affection of a desperate debtor, that he dares not come to
an account, nor take knowledge how much he owes; this makes me that I dare
not tell you how manie letters I have received from you since I came to
this Towne; I had three the first by the Cooke, who brought none but
yours, nor ever came to me, to let me know what became of the rest: the
two other of the 7. and 8. of _March_, came in a letter which Sir _H.
Wotton_ writ to me from _Amyens_; there is not a size of paper in the
Palace, large enough to tell you how much I esteeme my selfe honoured in
your remembrances; nor strong enough to wrap up a heart so ful of good
affections towards you, as mine is. When any thing passes between Sir
_Thomas Roe_ and you, tell him I am not the lesse his Servant, for not
saying so by often letters: for by my troth, I am that so much as he could
desire I should be, when he began to love me. Sir _Thomas Lucies_
businesse, and perchance sadnesse forbid me writing now. I have written to
him (whilest I lived in darknesse, whether my Letters came to you or no)
by another way; and if my poore Letters were any degree of service, I
should doe it often, and rather be mine own Post then leave any thing
undone, to which he would give such an interpretation, as that it were an
Argument of my Devotion to him. For my purpose of proceeding in the
profession of the Law, so far as to a Title, you may be pleased to correct
that imagination where you finde it. I ever thought the study of it my
best entertainment and pastime, but I have no ambition, nor design upon
the Stile. Of my Anniversaries the fault which I acknowledge in my selfe
is to have descended to print any thing in Verse, which though it have
excuse, even in our times, by example of men which one would thinke should
as little have done it, as I; yet I confesse I wonder how I declined to
it, and doe not pardon my self. But for the other part of the imputation,
of having said so much, my defence is, that my purpose was to say as well
as I could: for since I never saw the Gentlewoman, I cannot be understood
to have bound my selfe to have spoken just Truth: but I would not be
thought to have gone about to praise any bodie in rime, except I tooke
such a Person, as might be capable of all that I could say. If any of
those Ladies think that Mistris _Drury_ was not so, let that Ladie make
her selfe fit for all those praises in the Booke, and it shall be hers.
Nothing is farther from colour or ground of Truth, then that which you
write of Sir _Robert Druries_ going to Masse. No man of our Nation hath
been more forward to apply himselfe to the Church of the Religion where he
hath come, nor to relieve their wants, where that Demonstration hath beene
needfull. I know not yet whether Sir _John Brookes_ purpose of being very
shortly here, be not a just reason to make me forbear writing to him. I am
sure that I would fainest do that in writing or abstaining which should be
most acceptable to him. It were in vain to put into this letter any
relation of the Magnificence which have been here at publication of these
marriages; for at this time there come into _England_ so many _Frenchmen_,
as I am sure you shall heare all at least. If they speak not of above
eight hundred horse well caparosond, you may believe it: and you may
believe, that no Court in Christendome had beene able to have appeared so
brave in that kinde. But if they tell you of any other stuffe then Copper,
or any other exercise of armes then running at the Quintain, and the
Ring, you may be bold to say _Pardone moy_. Sir, this messenger makes so
much haste that I cry you mercy for spending any time of this Letter, in
other imployment, then thanking you for yours, and promising you more
before my remove from hence. I pray venture no Letter to me by any other
way then M. _John Bruer_ [_Brewer_] at the Queens Armes a Mercer in
_Cheapside_, who is always like to know where we are; And make me by
loving me still, worthy to be
_Your friend and servant_
J. Donne.
[xciii.]
_To my Honoured friend M{r}_ George Gerrard.