other gardin stuff. N.B.--I teches joggrafy and those outlandish
kind of things--A Bawl on Wensdays and Fridays all pirfomed god
willin by me Isaac Factotum."--(_Morning Post, Nov. 19, 1788._)
* * * * *
"An Impromptu
on Mr. Domford's Piety.
"So pious was Josiah's care
He sacred would keep one day,
And in the gutter threw his beer
For Working on a Sunday."
--(_Morning Post, Jan. 6, 1789._)
Who can say after reading the following that our grandfathers were not
a match for the Americans, at telling a "tall" story:--
"Natural History.
"A very curious incident happened near Edmonton last week, to
account for which we are unable, and leave the explanation to
botanical and Chirurgical professors.
"A farmer requested some lettuces from a gentleman in the
neighbourhood, who permitted the farmer's maid to gather what she
wanted; she gathered likewise some Cucumbers, and near them were
glasses covering sensitive and humble plants, which the wench
gathered as small sallad.
"The farmer eat heartily of these, and the effect was, that after
dinner, tho' he is a very fat man, a slight touch from another
person made him shrink at least five stone; but, towards the
evening, he recovered gradually his usual bulk and weight; and,
when he had evacuated the sallad and mimosa, he retained his
corpulency as if nothing extraordinary had happened.
"This we insert as a caution to persons not to mix this plant
with other pot herbs."--(_Morning Post, Aug. 31, 1789._)
Gillray, Oct. 4, 1791, gives us the accompanying extremely graphic
illustrations--shewing the difference of behaviour at the Opera and at
Church--the vivacity of the one, and the somnolence of the other.
"A Card
"Addressed to those among the female sex, whose desires are
neither Romantic nor Extravagant, who stand in need and wish for
such an opportunity as is now offered.
"A SINGLE GENTLEMAN who is blest with an Independence, adequate
to every real comfort in life, and having none to provide for,
prefers permanent friendship and protection to a Lady possessing
the following requisites: age not exceeding 35, person well
shaped, teeth sound and regular, good voice, a stranger to the
hackneyed tricks of the town: good temper, constancy, a social
disposition, engaging manners, a turn to economy, and a knowledge
by experience of domestic concerns, a taste for simplicity and
elegance in dress, spruce in her person, and attentive to
neatness in others; free from incumbrance, affectation and
unpleasant habits: a pleasing countenance, if the face should
neither be beautiful nor pretty--musical talents, vocal and
instrumental--and she who may be the greatest proficient on the
pianoforte or harpsichord, or what is still more irresistible,
the harp, if in other respects equal, will claim the preference.
The Lady, of course, must be totally at her own disposal: if a
native of Britain, a Knowledge of French so as to speak it
fluently; if a foreigner, capable of speaking and writing the
English language with ease and propriety: and both native, and
foreign, habituated to the English Customs in every point of
cleanliness and delicacy.
"Should she be conversant with Italian, with a genius for
painting, poetry, astronomy, botany, &c., she would be the more
acceptable. Not only the utmost regard to decorum will be
observed upon this occasion, but that respect which the delicacy
of the sex demands, shall be manifested as early as possible. He
hopes, therefore, since his motives are so obvious, that those
whose sentiments are congenial with his own, who mean to notice
this address will do it speedily, as the Author will soon be
going to the Continent on an extensive tour.
"For this and other cogent reasons, which hereafter may be
specified, Principals only will be treated with. Such
communications, and positively no other, as are written in the
Party's own hand, at once explicit respecting situation,
intention and expectation, &c., shall according to their merits
be duly acknowledged, and the necessary steps in consequence
will be pointed out to bring the matter with safety to an
immediate issue.
"Should an object whose person, talents, and accomplishments,
&c., are superior to the generality of females, be discovered
with proofs of serious intention, a marriage may be the result.
The want of pelf, if of a respectable connection, should with the
Author, be no impediment thereto, being, with prudence, amply
provided for. The Advertiser forbears saying any more of himself,
than that his person, age, qualities, &c., would probably suit
such a Lady as he has described: and as a well cultivated mind,
united with the requisites above stated, would be preferred to
the consideration of either family, or fortune, he hopes some
credit will be allowed him for his good intentions.
"Letters free of postage will be received if addressed to G. A.
S., at the Recorder Printing Office, No. 12 Duke St. Drury
Lane."--(_Times, Feby. 7, 1793._)
* * * * *
"ELEGANT PRIZE FOR LADIES.
"Marriage Ceremonies, Science of Match-Making, Names
Qualifications and Fortunes, of Heirs and Heiresses--Copious and
Alphabetical List of Marriages in Great Britain and Ireland--New
and Chaste Love Epistles--Matrimonial Bon Mots--Art of
Tormenting--New and predominant Fashions, delineated by the Pen
and Pencil,--And a new Cassino Fan, by way of reward, to the Lady
who shall best answer the prize Enigma, Charade, or Puzzle.
"This day is published, price 6d, embellished with--1. Ludicrous
representation of a Foreign Marriage Ceremony.--2. Exact sketches
of the newest and most prevailing Male and Female Dresses.--3. A
new Matrimonial Song set to Music.
Number 1. (to be continued monthly) of
"THE MATRIMONIAL MAGAZINE for January 1793. To contain, besides
what is above enumerated, original Essays, Biographical Sketches,
Dramatic Tales, Tales humorous and pathetic, alike calculated for
the Maid, the Widow, and the Wife, the Stripling and the
Greybeard. Wit will be combined with decency, and humour with
sense.
"London: Printed for H. D. Symonds, No. 20 Paternoster
Row."--(_Times, Feb. 15, 1793._)
* * * * *
"Advt.--BOLD STROKE FOR A WIFE.
"A person who has been six months deprived of what he calls
Heaven's chiefest blessing, domestic happiness, is not ashamed of
thus avowing his intention of again endeavouring to regain, by
Marriage, that solid felicity he so much regrets the loss of, and
hopes this way to become acquainted with some Maiden Lady, who
has a soul superior to vulgar prejudices, and who will venture to
go a little out of the beaten road, in order to form a truly
rational plan for that sociable happiness which is only to be
found in the Marriage State. The writer of this has no children,
his age is between 40 and 50: he has acquired, by trade, £20,000,
has a house at the West end of the town, another in Kent, and a
Coach to take him from one to the other: so that he thinks
himself deserving of a Lady of equal fortune: the more so, as he
will permit her to make it over to herself or her relations: and
if she should not possess more than half that sum, 'he'd ne'er
quarrel for that.'--A line, addressed to W. W., No. 32 Snow Hill,
by any Lady, or her friends, will be considered as a mark of good
sense, and treated with the respect that is due from a man of
sense to the fair sex."--(_Times, March 10, 1794._)
* * * * *
Advt.--"Matrimony. A Gentleman of small independent Fortune,
occupying a Farm in a retired Part of the Country, within 20
miles South West of London, takes this public method of
addressing any Lady, who may feel happy, and disposed to place
herself under the protection of such a person. He is a Widower,
28 years of age, with an only child, who is amply provided for.
On the part of the Lady, it will be expected that her person be
fair, her mind amiable, and well-informed, her disposition
feminine. In return, the conduct of the Gentleman will be found
to be in every respect manly, honourable, and sincere. A line by
way of introduction, addressed to Mr. Amiens, Epsom, will be paid
every attention to, and it is particularly entreated, that no
other, but of the above description, will give themselves that
trouble."--(_Times, Novr. 26, 1798._)
The French were very badly off for clothing, and as war was on the
very eve of commencement--(diplomatic relations between the two
Countries having ceased, and the French already having begun open
hostilities)--clothing, naturally, was considered "Contraband of War:"
hence the following:--
"A vessel loaded with cloathing, to the amount of £120,000, was
on Tuesday stopped in the River. She was bound to a port in
France."--(_Times, Feb. 7, 1793._)
* * * * *
"The Earl of Bute's grand Orrery was sold yesterday for the
trifling sum of sixty guineas, and the celebrated annual clock,
regulating the revolutionary movements of two globes, and of an
orrery for twenty-six guineas."--(_Times, Feb. 9, 1793._)
* * * * *
"Tuesday as Mrs. Fitzherbert, (George 4th's wife) attended by
Miss Bell Pigott, was riding in her carriage in Pall Mall, the
carriage of Colonel Strickland came in close contact with that of
the ladies, by which they were both overturned.
"On Mrs. Fitzherbert and Miss Bell Pigott's overturn--
"What ups and downs a Woman feels
In almost every station;
Down went our Heads, up came our Heels
'Talk of a Coronation!!!'
"COETERA DESUNT."
--(_Times, Feb. 28, 1793._)
* * * * *
"On the late INUNDATION in OLD PALACE YARD.
"On one side Duke Norfolk[20] pushed forward with strife
For he never liked Water throughout his whole life."
[Footnote 20: He was notorious for his drinking
propensities.]
--(_Times, March 1, 1793._)
* * * * *
"The Duke of Norfolk is attacked by the _Hydrophobia_, he can't
bear the sight of _water_. His Physicians have prescribed Wine.
The Marquis of _Stafford_, Marquis of _Bath_, and Lord _Thurlow_
who were present, sanctified this prescription with their most
hearty consent."--(_Times, Feb. 17, 1794._)
* * * * *
"_A new way to travel expeditiously and safely._
"The Duke of Luxembourg, wishing to return to his family at
_Lisbon_, and being apprehensive of going in one of the common
packets, which, if taken by the French, would probably cost him
his life, lately applied to Lord Chatham, for a passage in an
English frigate going to Lisbon. His Lordship very obligingly
acquiesced, and a few days since the Duke sailed in her from
Portsmouth. It turns out, however, that this frigate has been
ordered to _cruise for six weeks_ before she makes for Lisbon:
and thus is the unfortunate Duke exposed to the risk of the
elements and the hazard of an engagement, from having employed
his influence to procure a _safe passage_."--(_Times, May. 10,
1793._)
* * * * *
"There was a rapid trade between Birmingham and France, of base
coin, carried from the former to the latter in Folkstone vessels,
and with this coin great part of the Army was paid, but the whole
is now stopped, and the French Soldiers are paid in
paper."--(_Times, May 10, 1793._)
* * * * *
"The Duke of Bedford has just completed at Wooburn a Dog-Kennel,
that far exceeds his Grace of Richmond's in all points of extent
and magnificence: independently of the immense suite of canine
apartments, it has _baths_, _coffee rooms_, _billiard room_, &c.,
and in the centre is a most spacious _riding house_, &c., for the
equestrian amusement of his friends in bad weather."--(_Times,
Jan. 31, 1794._)
* * * * *
"We know not the Nobleman or Gentleman alluded to lately in the
House of Commons, as contracting at £800 a year for supplying his
Dog-Kennel; but we have heard it said on very good authority,
that there are two kennels, not far from Brighton, in Sussex,
which cost very little short of this sum. The Duke of Bedford's
Dog-Kennel is a mere nothing to either of those alluded
to."--(_Times, April 13, 1796._)
* * * * *
"THE FUNERAL!!
"It was not a Tom Cat, for its melodious squalls plainly proved
it had long been qualified for the Opera.--It was, however, a
prodigious favourite with its Mistress. Long had it lived upon
the fat of the land, in Charlotte St., Queen Anne St., where it
took great care of Number One! For the space of six years and
three months did its Mistress indulge it with 'Rivers of Milk;'
and besides it was a sad Cat, for the matter of that, in skimming
the cream off everything worth skimming. But as Cats, though they
may have nine lives, are not immortal, poor Ralph fell sick and
died--without giving time even for a consultation of Physicians!
His Mistress, after the first transports of grief were subsided,
sent for a Surgeon, who opened the body. He reported that poison
was not the cause, as suspected, of his death, but that he was
literally killed with kindness. In plain English, he died of a
Plethora, for he was fat at heart.
"Away posted the Lady and purchased a piece of ground, just large
enough to swing a Cat in, at the new burial ground in
Mary-le-bonne. The charge was trifling, only two guineas; an
Undertaker provided a coffin in miniature: _Grimalkin_, after
having lain in state, and several of the frail sisterhood,
friends of the Lady, partaken of wine and cake, of which plenty
was provided; a Hearse with White Plumes drove to the door, and
the Lady, a Chief Mourner, attended by her weeping friends, who
filled several Mourning Coaches, followed Ralph to the grave last
Tuesday week, like 'Niobe all in tears;' and after the body had
been deposited in the earth, though with but 'maimed rites,' 'tis
true, she returned slowly to the house of mourning.
"But now comes the sad Cat-astrophe--Whether the Undertaker who
had _undertaken_ to keep the secret, had blabbed, or whether the
spectators of this sad ceremony smelt, as the Cat had often done,
a RAT, so it was, however, that the body had not remained an
hour, quietly inurned, ere they burst open the hinges of its
sepulchre, and parading with it to the place from whence it came,
proceeded to break the windows of the afflicted fair one's
house: and but for the timely interposition of the Magistrates,
the Lady, as well as her house, in all probability would have
been pulled to pieces!!!
"_N.B._--The above is strictly a matter of FACT."--(_Times, March
21, 1794._)
* * * * *
"The access to Kensington Gardens is so inconvenient to the
visitors, that it is to be hoped the politeness of those who have
the direction of it will induce them to give orders for another
door to be made for the convenience of the public--one door for
admission, and another for departure, would prove a great
convenience to the visitors. For want of this regulation the
Ladies frequently have their cloaths torn to pieces; and are much
hurt by the crowd passing different ways."--(_Times, March 28,
1794._)
* * * * *
"Two Ladies were lucky enough to escape thro' the gate of
Kensington Gardens, on Sunday last, with only a broken arm each.
When a few lives have been lost, perchance then a door or two
more may be made for the convenience of the families of the
survivors."--(_Times, May 8, 1794._)
* * * * *
"We noticed last year the nuisance at the door of Kensington
Gardens, leading from Hyde Park, and was in hopes, those who have
the care would attend to it. As the season is approaching when
company frequent it, we again recommend that an additional door
should be made, and an inscription put over it 'The company to go
in at this gate, and return at the other,' by which means the
press will be avoided, and directions given, that all servants do
keep away from the doors, who behave with great impertinence to
their superiors as the company go in. If the gardens are to be a
public accommodation, surely so trifling an expence can be no
object. A greater number of seats in the gardens is very
desirable."--(_Times, April 24, 1795._)
* * * * *
"The public in general, and the ladies in particular, are much
obliged to the Ranger of Hyde Park, for having taken the hint
given in this paper towards their accommodation, by ordering a
new gate to be made, as an entrance into Kensington Gardens.
This convenience was yesterday much noticed, as there is now one
gate for the entrance, and another for leaving the gardens, which
were extremely crowded. But so little regularity was observed in
the procession of carriages, on the Park Road, that there was a
general stoppage about four o'clock, for nearly an hour; in the
throng, several carriages were overset, and many much injured. We
never witnessed so much confusion on any similar
occasion."--(_Times, May 4, 1795._)
* * * * *
"After a very elegant dinner given by the Lord Mayor to the
visitors at the Mansion House on Monday, there was a ball as
usual, which was very numerously attended: and was honored by the
presence of the Turkish Ambassador, several of the _Corps
Diplomatique_ and many of our own Nobility. The harmony and
gaiety of the Entertainment was, however, interrupted about two
o'clock yesterday morning, by the intrusion of a number of
Gentlemen in the Dancing Room, who had sacrificed too freely to
the Jolly God, and seemed determined to kick up a riot. They had
continued drinking till one o'clock in the Dining parlour, and on
entering the Ballroom behaved in such an improper manner, as to
make it necessary to call in the Peace Officers to turn them out.
A terrible uproar ensued; and we understand that two or three of
the Rioters were sent to the Poultry Compter: and we hope they
remained there till they recovered their senses."--(_Times, April
23, 1794._)
* * * * *
"City Extravagance.--During the Rout, we had almost said Riot, at
the Mansion House on Tuesday Morning, several very prudent
Citizens were observed to be out-running the
Constable!"--(_Times, April 24, 1794._)
* * * * *
"We are informed from Abbey Laddercroft, in Cumberland, that a
woman called Jane Forrester, who lives in that parish, is now in
the 138th year of her age. When Cromwell besieged the City of
Carlisle, 1645, she can remember, that a horse's head sold for 2s
6d, before the garrison surrendered. At the martyrdom of King
Charles I., she was nineteen years of age. At Brampton, about six
years ago, she made oath before the Commissioners, in a Chancery
suit, to have known an estate, the right of which was then
disputed, to have been enjoyed by the ancestors of the present
heir 101 years. She hath an only daughter living, aged 103. And
we are further informed, that there are six women now living in
the same parish where she resides, the youngest of whom is 99
years of age."--(_Times, May 16, 1794._)
Pidcock's Menagerie was the nearest substitute for our present
Zoological Gardens, that London could boast of, and Exeter Change,
where the Exhibition took place, stood on the site now occupied by the
Gaiety Theatre.
Advt. "Elephants.--Lately arrived in the Rose East Indiaman, a
most wonderful living Male Elephant, and to be seen in a
commodious room, over Exeter Change, in the Strand. Admittance 1s
each. Likewise is lately added to the Grand Menageries, as above,
two very singular and most astonishing Kanguroos, male and
female, from Botany Bay. Admittance 1s. Also, just arrived, and
to be seen in a commodious apartment, under the Great Room, as
above, three stupendous living Pelicans of the Wilderness, two
males and a female. Admittance 1s. The three Exhibitions may be
viewed for 2s 6d. each person. Foreign Birds and Beasts bought,
sold, &c., by G. Pidcock."--(_Times, May 22, 1794._)
* * * * *
Advt. "FOREIGN BIRDS.--Just arrived at No. 1 Coventry St.,
opposite the Haymarket, among which is, that renowned Bird the
Ostrich, described in ancient and modern History, to be the
largest in the world, it measures 9 feet high, and can admit of
two young Ladies or Gentlemen to ride on its back at a time. This
Bird exceeds, also, in strength, swiftness, and running, all the
feathered tribe in the Creation; it has the best plumage ever
seen on an Ostrich, in this country, for many years. There is
also a very extraordinary Bird, whose feathers resemble hair, and
which has very much the appearance of a beast, weighing near 200
lbs. weight. The Great Horned Owl, described as the inhabitant of
Babylon: the Royal crowned Crane of Africa, and other curious and
uncommon Birds: also a very singular Animal resembling a Spider,
called the Bush Devil; it makes use of its Tail as other Animals
do their paws. Admittance 1s. each, Children and Servants
6d."--(_Times, Jan. 5, 1795._)
We get a very vivid description of how illuminations after a great
victory, were managed and received--in those which took place after
Lord Howe's "Glorious first of June."
Earl Howe's Victory.
"Several mobs paraded about the streets, at one, and two o'clock,
yesterday morning, breaking the windows of those who had already
shown their good wishes to the general cause, by illuminating
their windows, but had retired to rest. Other houses again,
belonging to the Quakers, were damaged because no lights were put
forth. Such acts are contrary to the way of thinking of this very
respectable class of Citizens. In this outrageous manner did
several mobs proceed during the early part of yesterday morning,
to the very great inconvenience of domestic comfort, and
infringement on public tranquillity."--(_Times, June 13, 1794._)
* * * * *
"The Lord Mayor requests the Inhabitants of the City to
discontinue the Illuminations which have taken place since the
News received of the very glorious Victory obtained by the
British Fleet, under the command of Lord Howe. The Lord Mayor
hopes, that the Public will be satisfied with the general Joy
which has been so conspicuously expressed, and thinks that a
further display of it will tend to disturb the peace and good
order of the Metropolis."--(_Times, June 14, 1794._)
* * * * *
"Illuminations.--The very idea of the horrors attending the cry
of 'Put out your lights,' made a poor Loyal German, in
Bedfordbury, watch his little farthing rush-lights, on Wednesday
last, till a late hour. At length he ventured really to put out
his lights: prudently pasting up at his door the following notice
in capitals: 'Two o'clock--gone to bed. If I am to light again,
pray be so obliging as to ring the bell.'"--(_Times, June 19,
1794._)
* * * * *
"Mr. Wilkes bears the loss of his fine windows with that pleasant
humour so peculiar to him, and absolutely refuses to prosecute
any of the mob--'They are only,' said he, 'some of my pupils now
set up for themselves.'"--(_Times, June 21, 1794._)
* * * * *
Mr. Editor.
"A Gentleman of a village near town, in his zeal for illuminating
on the late joyful Victory by Lord Howe, placed so many candles
in his windows, and that in so negligent a manner, that by two in
the morning, three or four of his sashes were burnt. A Constant
Reader will be favoured by your making room for the following on
the occasion:--
"Village Illuminations.
"Quoth Dick, I scorn such mean display
As rush-lights, sixes and such trash is;
I show my zeal in a nobler way--
I d--n the French and burn my sashes."
--(_Times, July 14, 1794._)
* * * * *
"The following circumstance occurred last week at Long Milford
near Bury St. Edmund's: Three young Ladies of that place, one of
whom is very much celebrated for her mental, as well as personal,
accomplishments, agreed a few days since, to bathe in a river
about half a mile distant from the town, there being no private
accommodation for that purpose in the neighbourhood.
"An early hour, at which they would be the least liable to be
discovered by strangers, was determined on, and at four o'clock
in the morning, they proceeded from home to the appointed place.
As they walked through the town, they were espied by a
blacksmith, who, about the same hour, usually gets up to his
work. Curiosity prompted him to find out whither the fair ones
were bound: but he did not discover himself to them till they
were in the river, the perfect images of their mother _Eve_; when
perceiving him approach, they screamed out, and prudently sat
down in the water. The Modern _Vulcan_, dead to the distresses of
the Venus's, determined to divert his uncouth fancy by carrying
off their clothes, with which he did not return. In this pitiable
situation they were obliged to remain for near an hour, when a
poor woman passing that way, on hearing the rude behaviour they
had experienced, and their consequent embarrassment, procured
them such necessary articles of apparel, as enabled them to get
home.